Public Transport

smallerthanyou

Does anyone else travel on public transport while visibly pregnant? Do you get offered seats?

I'm about 30 weeks so visibly pregnant and so far have yet to be offered a seat. It's grand as for the moment I'm just about able to stand for the 25 minute journey. But i think after Christmas I'll have to start asking for the people in the priority seats to stand. They look able bodied but will still be worried asking in case they need them.

Definitely surprised at not being offered. It's something I would have always done pre-pregnancy. What are others experiences?

mahoganygas

I suspect that pregnant women don't get offered seats as much any more because people have their heads buried in smart phones.

A pregnant woman stood in front of me for about 6 stops yesterday before I realised. I was too busy poking around on facebook to notice. I felt awful and apologised profusely but it was pure chance that I looked up. Most of the time I'm in a world of my own.

rainbow kirby

I'm in London - we have a badge available for free to pregnant women to make it quite clear that a seat is needed! I've been using one since around 14-15 weeks after some nasty dizzy spells on the tube (I'm 26 weeks now) and tend to get a seat around 60% of the time in the morning and 80%+ in the evening on one of the most crowded lines on the network. I've found that men in their 30s and 40s are most likely to give up a seat and younger women least likely.

Some people are just really selfish though - they'll look you up and down, pretend to be asleep, even saw one middle aged oul bat check for a wedding ring, anything to avoid having to give up their precious seat to someone who might need it more than them.

I'm planning to switch to earlier start and finish times (work 7:30-8am until 4pm) after Christmas to make the commute a little easier though.

annoyedgal

Am lucky enough to always get a seat when I use the bus but if I didn't I would have no problem asking someone to give up a priority seat if they appeared able bodied!

To be fair, i think sometimes people don't want to offer in case the woman in question is not pregnant!
In London you get a badge to wear on the tube that says your pregnant! Not a bad idea!



quote="smallerthanyou;98077080"]Does anyone else travel on public transport while visibly pregnant? Do you get offered seats?

I'm about 30 weeks so visibly pregnant and so far have yet to be offered a seat. It's grand as for the moment I'm just about able to stand for the 25 minute journey. But i think after Christmas I'll have to start asking for the people in the priority seats to stand. They look able bodied but will still be worried asking in case they need them.

Definitely surprised at not being offered. It's something I would have always done pre-pregnancy. What are others experiences?[/quote]

Lau2976

I hate seeing able bodied people sitting in priority seats on the bus and not offering when someone who is clearly unable to stand gets on. Also I've been on a few times and people with buggies refuse to fold them for someone with a wheelchair.

I would be very like you about asking OP! I have major issues with my back and legs, although I'm in my mid 20s and you probably wouldn't have any clue that there's an issue, standing for anything longer then about 15 minutes an I'll be in agony for the rest of the day, but if someone seems like they need my seat more, or if they ask, I'll still give it. Mainly because if they are asking I woul hope they need it badly.

I tend not to offer it to pregnant women who aren't large or struggling unless they ask. Maybe it's just my perception having never been pregnant but if it were between me, a pregnant woman, and an elderly person I would offer my seat to the elderly person first and then keep it after that.

Dolbert

Lau2976 wrote: »

I tend not to offer it to pregnant women who aren't large or struggling unless they ask. Maybe it's just my perception having never been pregnant but if it were between me, a pregnant woman, and an elderly person I would offer my seat to the elderly person first and then keep it after that.

My first trimester was undoubtedly the worst in terms of back pain and nausea/feeling faint, however I'd never expect anyone to offer their seat unless I asked. People just aren't going to know sometimes.

DoctorEdgeWild

There is a massive fear of offending to be honest. If the person is fat rather than pregnant. It might seem like a bit of a joke but people just prefer to ignore something like that.

For what it's worth, I prefer to stand unless the train is very empty.

ted1

plenty of women don't see being pregnant as a disability and take offence to a seat being offered. likewise some women might look pregnant when in fact they mightn't be and this can also causes offence.

Its a hard call to make sometimes as to whether or not to offer a seat.

Moonbeam

I used to get the train from Balbriggan and had mostly had to ask for a seat when I needed one.

javagal

I don't use public transport but when I do, I'd definitely give up a seat to a pregnant woman/elderly person, it's just good manners.

I've actually noticed this time around how rude people are now. I'm 24 weeks with a visible bump and have noticed people look at my bump and still not move of out my way when say in a shopping centre when I try to squeeze past with my toddler. Usually results in Me having to pick her up and barge past.

Penny Dreadful

Dolbert wrote: »

My first trimester was undoubtedly the worst in terms of back pain and nausea/feeling faint, however I'd never expect anyone to offer their seat unless I asked. People just aren't going to know sometimes.

I'm just coming out of my first trimester now and like the last time around it was (so far anyway) the worst part of pregnancy for me.
When not pregnant I look able bodied but have rheumatoid arthritis and some days am in a bad bad way with it and might just not be able to give up my seat without feeling really bad for several days. Sometime people that seem able bodied aren't actually.

LegacyUser

I'm 26 weeks, quite visibly pregnant with a bump. I get the train everyday, it's a 40 minute journey.

I find that on the earlier trains, yes, people generally do get up to give me a seat. Often men and middle age women. It's only really been happening since I was about 20 weeks though and to be fair, it probably wasn't that obvious until quite recently. The problem is that like a previous poster, I get very sick and dizzy after about ten minutes of standing. It's a completely new problem for me, I've never had to deal with anything like this before. I'm too polite to ask generally.

I get a later train a couple of mornings a week and I never get a seat on that. Ever. In fact, last week I was in the disabled area, which has 2 fold down seats - they were occupied by a man and woman in their 30s, who looked like a couple. Both had smartphones, but were also talking to each other. I was standing right beside them and had my jacket off....I had a dress on that visibly showed the bump. They completely ignored me the whole way in. The man actually went so far as to look at me a couple of times then look away. I was really cross, because I end up sitting on the floor - great and all but quite soon I just won't be able to get back up off the floor. Students are the worst, they would never give you a seat. Somedays I wonder should I just say outright could they give me a seat or would they prefer me to get sick on them....

I don't feel like I necessarily deserve a seat just because I'm pregnant, but I guess I feel that if it was me, I would always give up a seat to a pregnant woman. Especially since this is my second pregnancy and I now actually know how hard it is. As someone else said though,I've also noticed that most people on transport are now so buried in some sort of a screen or another that they rarely look up long enough to see you there. Pregnancy is not a disability and I would be the last person on the planet to think that it is, but the least people could do is offer - the worst a pregnant woman can do is say no.

lazygal

Throughout two pregnancies I was offered a seat a grand total of once, by an elderly lady. I know from experience though that just because someone looks hale and hearty doesn't mean that's always the case.

bluebell27

On the normal trains I get there are always seats free at the stops I get on so I am lucky. My brother lives in London and sent me a baby on board badge which I wear for when I am on busier trains. I had training last week and had to stand on two full journeys. On one of them not only did people not offer me a seat but other people standing pushed passed me to get seats I was standing near when they came free despite the badge and a visible bump. Before I was pregnant I thought it was normal for people to offer seats!

Seve OB

People are just rude

olaola

I think if I needed to sit & no one had offered me a seat, I'd be asking the most able bodied person to get the hell up!!

But saying that, the staff in the COOMBE have to ask the men to get up off the seats in the waiting rooms! For the public clinics, it's packed & there are women standing around everywhere. Can you imagine the cheek of them!

Claire de Lune

Why don't you just ask politely? Not everyone is rude, some people are just too engrossed in their phone/book and genuinely don't notice.

I've been on both sides, I've been pregnant twice while commuting on packed trains, I would go to the priority seats and simply say "Hi, I am X weeks pregnant, do you mind if I sit down" and every time 3/4 people would stand up to let me sit. I have also been not pregnant and would have my head buried into my book or phone and would honestly not notice what goes on around me, but would be happy to give up my seat to anyone who needs it!

And if no one gives up their seat when you ask, you can say "well, if I faint the train will be stopped and an ambulance will be called and the train will be delayed by at least an hour" luckily I've never had to use that threat :-)

Don't underestimate people :-)

smallerthanyou

I'll ask people when I start needing one but I am worried they may have hidden disability and actually need the seat more than me. That said there's eight priority seats per carriage so unlikely they all need them despite looking able bodied.

Ya I've had that where people push past when a seat becomes free. Maybe I look really tiny and not like the bumbling elephant I feel like!

Neyite

I'll give up my seat to anyone I think needs it more - someone laden down with bags that they've obviously lugged a distance, someone older than me, even an able bodied child if they are so young their balance while standing might not be great. I'm able bodied and thankfully well able to stand on a bus. I think that if you need a seat and ask nicely, and briefly explain you have a sore back/leg etc, most decent people would oblige, wouldn't they?

I never looked for a seat while pregnant but was very nicely offered one on several occasions which was nice. But I had an easy pregnancy and a short bus ride so it was fine for me. I am always wary of assuming that people don't 'look' disabled. IMO there are so many hidden disabilities that I would never assume someone in a priority seat didn't deserve to sit there.

eviltwin

If I really needed a seat I always just asked. It's nice to be offered one but sometimes people don't notice.

irishgirl19

Busyizzy that is a joke! You should ask someone in the priority seats for their seat (if they're able bodied) they have pictures on elderly and pregnant above them.
I know in my last trimester I wouldn't have been able to stand for 40 minutes.
I wouldn't let a pregnant woman stand. i can't believe people are so ignorant