You Bought my 6 year old a WHAT???

wolfpawnat

Okay, I am being told I am being irrational, I need other people's opinion on this.

My son is after being gifted an ipad for Christmas from his godfather. The boy is 6 years old. His father and I are livid this was bought at all without our being asked. As far as we are concerned, it is far too expensive and in all, a ridiculous thing to get a child. An ipad is for business professionals; sales reps, doctors, IT specialists, not for 6 year olds to play Angry Birds. And the added hilarity, we only have an internet dongle, no broadband router in our house, so it is doubly useless IMO.

There is another factor here, I have a daughter too, and though she is only 2, I don't think it is fair that there is such a drastic discrepancy in their treatment. I know she does not understand, but I do, and her father and I do not want a situation arising where we try and make up the differences in non financial ways and cause my son to become separated from the family unit because of jealousy.

I intend talking to his godfather in the morning and politely thanking him for his generous gift, but explaining to him it is far too much and to please not do such things, even though I understand it was all done with the best intentions because

1 - it is too much, it is far too expensive a gift for a 6 year old.
2 - it is not age appropriate - I have no issue with him purchasing him a child specific device if he likes.
3 - it is not fair his sister is so second fiddle to him. In years to come she will resent the differences and I wish to not cause rifts in my children, I cannot force them to be close, but I can prevent unnecessary reasons for them not to be.

We also thinking of asking all family and friends to consult us for any gifts that they wish to get our children in excess of 50e, for the simple fact we do not want them over spoiled, but presents seem to be getting out of hand, more frequent and more extravagant and we do not wish for our children to be too spoiled.

Am I being irrational?

Gaygooner

Yes.

I bought my God daughter an iPad

They can be very child friendly given the correct apps

Lisha

I don't think you are being irrational but it's difficult to refuse the gift without seeming irrational.

But tbh he was silly to buy it without even considering the Internet/broadband issues.

Could you talk to the godfather and agree a spending limit for presents?

Tbh I'd be very put out too. I like to be able to but 'wow' gifts fir my child myself... IMHO the godfather has taken this from you.

But is it worth falling out over it. At the end of the day you probably chose him as godfather because you felt he would take an interest in the child. That us what he us trying to do. It's just slightly over the top. No malice was meant, possible he was just trying to be too good.

topmanamillion

It's a tough one. The child's godfather shouldn't have given him the Ipad without running it by you first in the same way you would before gifting a young child a phone.

As far as Ipads being only for professional goes, that's just not true. I would say the vast majority of people that own them are playing angry bird on them and doing light browsing of the Internet.
The fact you don't have wireless Internet may well work in your favour as it will make it easier to closely monitor his activity on it.
You could put some educational apps on it/TV programmes if you can manage it on your dongle ect. I'd see it as a good opportunity.

wolfpawnat

Gaygooner wrote: »

Yes.

I bought my God daughter an iPad

They can be very child friendly given the correct apps

Can I ask how old is she?

We don't have internet access in the house, so we cannot even get said apps. Also our finances are terrible at present and it seems as though an ipad for a child in a house where the parents are struggling seems a tad mad.

Gaygooner

11.

so they can't have something nice because of that??? That seems unfair on the child

ted1

An iPad is abut much. Santa is bringing out girls an Amazon Fire kids tablet each. Just under a 100 euro each with a 2 years no question asked warranty. And 1 year sub to kids prime.

An iPad is wasted on kids, they don't mind slow tablets, but the main thing is that they are too fragile.

If your sibling is like any of mine they may have gotten the iPad for free through work or very cheap and are just passing it on

wolfpawnat

Lisha wrote: »

I don't think you are being irrational but it's difficult to refuse the gift without seeming irrational.

But tbh he was silly to buy it without even considering the Internet/broadband issues.

Could you talk to the godfather and agree a spending limit for presents?

Tbh I'd be very put out too. I like to be able to but 'wow' gifts fir my child myself... IMHO the godfather has taken this from you.

But is it worth falling out over it. At the end of the day you probably chose him as godfather because you felt he would take an interest in the child. That us what he us trying to do. It's just slightly over the top. No malice was meant, possible he was just trying to be too good.

Oddly, I had not thought of the taking the "wow" factor, until you mentioned it. This Christmas is a hard one for us. Santa is being good, practical and fun here this year, but also very cost conscious. My partner and I could not afford santa and presents from us, so we now have given nothing, and even santa has been out done.

It would not be a fall out, I would simply (and of course very politely) thank him and explain perhaps a more cost friendly device would be better. Top of the range does not equate only thing in the range.

topmanamillion wrote: »

It's a tough one. The child's godfather shouldn't have given him the Ipad without running it by you first in the same way you would before gifting a young child a phone.

As far as Ipads being only for professional goes, that's just not true. I would say the vast majority of people that own them are playing angry bird on them and doing light browsing of the Internet.
The fact you don't have wireless Internet may well work in your favour as it will make it easier to closely monitor his activity on it.
You could put some educational apps on it/TV programmes if you can manage it on your dongle ect. I'd see it as a good opportunity.

My dongle is the cheapest I could get with very little download ability, in all, I cannot afford to put games on it. Times are tight for us at present, so effectively, it would be an expensive ornament.

My son is also VERY boisterous with little concept of calm and gentle (he's 6, what can you do) so I see it being broken in a few days, and honestly, that would gall me after his godfather being so good as to spend so much on him in the first place. Ipad's are not really for the boisterous (well not if they are like ipods and iphones)

ted1

Gaygooner wrote: »

11.

so they can't have something nice because of that??? That seems unfair on the child

They never said that.stop putting words in their mouth

unkel

wolfpawnat wrote: »

An ipad is for business professionals; sales reps, doctors, IT specialists

LOL, will you join us in the real world?

iPads are really nice toys for kids, they are pretty obsolete for business professionals at this stage

Go and thank the godfather of your child for giving him such a generous gift!

And do yourself and your kid a favour and get broadband in your house. You seem to live in the 1980s?

ted1

Gaygooner wrote: »

Yes.

I bought my God daughter an iPad

They can be very child friendly given the correct apps

They don't handle drops well.

wolfpawnat

ted1 wrote: »

An iPad is abut much. Santa is bringing out girls an Amazon Fire kids tablet each. Just under a 100 euro each with a 2 years no question asked warranty. And 1 year sub to kids prime.

An iPad is wasted on kids, they don't mind slow tablets, but the main thing is that they are too fragile.

If your sibling is like any of mine they may have gotten the iPad for free through work or very cheap and are just passing it on

Nope, actually went to the apple store, got an assistant and paid top euro for it. I have the receipt here. If it was a work hand-me-down, then it is one thing, but this is big money for effectively nothing.

Gaygooner wrote: »

11.

so they can't have something nice because of that??? That seems unfair on the child

There is a huge difference between 6 and 11 and I am not saying he cannot have a tablet, but a more child appropriate one maybe. I mean extravagance within reason is surely not a big ask.

Gaygooner

ted1 wrote: »

They don't handle drops well. It's easy to spot someone who doesn't have kids..,,

There are great cases that prevent that- guess who bought one of those also!!!

Oh throw the "I'm a parent, ergo I inow best" card

drunkmonkey

My 3yr old nephew loves playing educational games on it.

Yes your being a bit nuts and don't really understand it.

A phone is a no no but the pad will be good for the kid.

Buy a bomb proof case like an otterbox for it, seen as you got it for free.

wolfpawnat

unkel wrote: »

LOL, will you join us in the real world?

iPads are really nice toys for kids, they are pretty obsolete for business professionals at this stage

Go and thank the godfather of your child for giving him such a generous gift!

And do yourself and your kid a favour and get broadband in your house. You seem to live in the 1980s?

Well would me not knowing who has them tell you what sort of state our finances are in that as an adult, it never even occurred to me to get it.

Also, my SIX year old is not allowed on the internet, he does not need broadband, and I cannot afford it at present.

ted1

unkel wrote: »

LOL, will you join us in the real world?

iPads are really nice toys for kids, they are pretty obsolete for business professionals at this stage

Go and thank the godfather of your child for giving him such a generous gift!

And do yourself and your kid a favour and get broadband in your house. You seem to live in the 1980s?

Maybe for kids in the double digits, but pointless for kids any younger, they are bound to drop them, spill drinks in them, etc.

VG31

6 years old is far too young for a tablet, phone, iPod etc.

6 year olds should be get toys for Christmas. As far as I'm concerned getting kids gadgets at such a young she is overestimating their maturity. Gadgets will inevitably come when they are older. Let them enjoy toys while they can.

.G.

Sell it on adverts, quids in. Thank the buyer.

drunkmonkey

How did you get to the internet, your phone? You can tether the pad to your phone to download apps and use them for fun and education offline.

gctest50

ted1 wrote: »

Maybe for kids in the double digits, but pointless for kids any younger, they are bound to drop them, spill drinks in them, etc.

you'd never know sure

wolfpawnat

drunkmonkey wrote: »

My 3yr old nephew loves playing educational games on it.

Yes your being a bit nuts and don't really understand it.

A phone is a no no but the pad will be good for the kid.

Buy a bomb proof case like an otterbox for it, seen as you got it for free.

But is it one specifically bought for him and only for him to use? I mean yes, if it was to be a family gadget it would be one thing, this is supposed to be JUST for him, not to be shared with his sister.

superg wrote: »

Sell it on adverts, quids in. Thank the buyer.

He bought it on request from the 6yo in front of him. How do I explain that away?

Gaygooner

wolfpawnat wrote: »

But is it one specifically bought for him and only for him to use? I mean yes, if it was to be a family gadget it would be one thing, this is supposed to be JUST for him, not to be shared with his sister.



He bought it on request from the 6yo in front of him. How do I explain that away?

He should be tought to share tbf

drunkmonkey

ted1 wrote: »

Maybe for kids in the double digits, but pointless for kids any younger, they are bound to drop them, spill drinks in them, etc.

You don't understand the benefits or the product a decent case fixes the breakage problem.

wolfpawnat

drunkmonkey wrote: »

How did you get to the internet, your phone? You can tether the pad to your phone to download apps and use them for fun and education offline.

My phone is 60e from Tesco, my internet is a dongle I can only afford to top up once a month. My son has a better device than the rest of the house can afford. I am typing this on a 9 year old laptop.

gctest50 wrote: »

you'd never know sure

I love my son, but no. He is VERY clumsy, VERY rough and VERY lackadaisical with his toys.

Gaygooner

I sense a bit of green eyed monster here

DivingDuck

You have a few options here:

1. Thank the godfather and accept the gift.
2. Thank the godfather, return the gift as it doesn't suit your circumstances and parenting choices, and ask him to exchange it for something else.
3. Thank the godfather, sell the gift, and use it to buy what you consider to be suitable items for both children.

I personally would go for option one, but I'm not you and it's not my child. You are quite wrong about the intended and actual market for iPads, but that doesn't mean you have to allow your child to have one if you don't feel it's appropriate. You could explain to the godfather that you don't want to create a situation where one child gets better presents than the other-- I'm assuming the other child's godparents aren't such generous gift-givers? (Unless it's the same guy, and he's playing favourites, it's not really his fault, but you can still explain the situation to him.)

If you really don't want the child to have the iPad but don't feel you can broach this topic with the godfather, you could always sell it, redistribute the funds between the children, and then tell the godfather that your son "lost" his iPad. That would put paid to further expensive gifts, I'm betting. It's a bit underhand, but if you really think he would take it poorly and really can't stomach the thought of the boy having the tablet, it's an option.

drunkmonkey

wolfpawnat wrote: »

But is it one specifically bought for him and only for him to use? I mean yes, if it was to be a family gadget it would be one thing, this is supposed to be JUST for him, not to be shared with his sister.



He bought it on request from the 6yo in front of him. How do I explain that away?

I've a 3yr old and 6yr old nephew and they share it, the 3yr old loves hammers and generally throwing stuff around, the 6yr old loves building Lego, neither of them are addicted to the iPad it's just another toy that they use for number games, jigsaws, join the dots that kind of thing.
This is a really good present your after getting be thankful and put a proper case on it and keep it safe and not let it get broken and end up in the bin as you don't want to spend €150 fixing the screen.

ted1

Gaygooner wrote: »

There are great cases that prevent that- guess who bought one of those also!!!

Oh throw the "I'm a parent, ergo I inow best" card

Oh no ..., I throw a card at you.., shock horror....
Honestly I had 10 nieces and nephews before I had my own kids and you really do not realise how destructive they are I till you have your own.
Enjoy living in your bubble .

Moonbeam

Gaygooner wrote: »

I sense a bit of green eyed monster here

Please can we be civil and not jump to such conclusions on thread.

wolfpawnat

Gaygooner wrote: »

He should be tought to share tbf

There is a deeper issue than this, and it derives from an issue with my MIL who has my son utterly convinced he is more important than any other human being on this planet, especially. I force him to share, and trust me, it is hell dealing with it. He breaks things rather than share. His grandmother has taught him his sister is not for sharing with, and to have him share it (which we would enforce) will cause the whole of Christmas to become an utter farce.

Gaygooner

ted1 wrote: »

Oh no ..., I throw a card at you.., shock horror....
Honestly I had 10 nieces and nephews before I had my own kids and you really do not realise how destructive they are I till you have your own.
Enjoy living in your bubble .

I live in a house, some parents seem to want to put their children in a bubble.

Are only parents views allowed in the parenting forum- abs steering non parents is acceptable???