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Inappropriate work present help??

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    #92
    feelgoodinc27
    Registered Users Posts: 714 ✭✭✭feelgoodinc27


    Mrs OBumble wrote: »
    Depending on where the OP is from (and DON'T tell us, OP), that may or may not help.

    Remember the Kerry farmer who had 50 locals supporting him after being convicted of rape (http://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/a-town-torn-1.793083)? That kind of mentality isn't as long-gone as some would like to think.

    Thats a pretty bigoted statement to make. Sometimes people who commit heinous acts have friends and family who refuse to accept the truth, thats a reality of life. To use the actions of a few to indict a locale is just prejudiced, lazy stereotyping.

    OP inform yourself of your options and commit to take whatever action you think is suitable, if you let it slide your just going to regret it.


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    #93
    FalconGirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 874 ✭✭✭FalconGirl


    Very inappropriate gift. Not sure this can end well given the control he has over the company. I'd advise you to plan your exit.


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    #94
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    esforum wrote: »
    First off, you specifically stated age, not maturity.

    When I said that it wasn't about age, but about maturity, I wasn't referring to his age. I was referring to your silly comment about being born middle-aged.

    esforum wrote: »
    Second, theres nothing more annyong than someone being selective in quotes...

    It's not about you. It's about the OP. Telling her she'd be blamed for spoiling everyone's fun is the same as telling her to be a good girl and accept what the older and senior (and creepy) man did to her.


    esforum wrote: »
    Oh and by the way, women are every bit as capable of passing comments, etc at male colleagues. Dont make it into a gemder war

    Women have had to put up with that kind of crap for a long time. Your approach would only prolong that. Be part of the solution, eh?


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    #95
    experiMental
    Registered Users Posts: 1,137 ✭✭✭experiMental


    People make stupid mistakes all the time. If you see stupid mistakes being made way too often, move somewhere smarter, if you have the choice.

    Alternative course of action is to turn your problem into an opportunity: make your co-workers stop making stupid mistakes. This is infinitely harder than the first option, but the potential future rewards are enormous. If you want a high-paying leadership job, it's all about being able to put up with bullsh*t and being able to prevent it.


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    #96
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    Have you asked for a pay rise ?


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    #97
    gothic_doll
    Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭gothic_doll


    OP- You said he is the boss/owner and there is no HR.

    That is an unacceptable way to run a company, and it is likely that this unprofessional attitude is prevalent in other ways, and more than just his choice of Christmas gift. This was just an obvious warning sign.

    Buying you pjs and lingerie, in normal circumstances would only be done by a boyfriend. (or maybe your mum or sister, if you are close!)

    Getting you to hold it up and be photographed was both 1. To shame you 2. To infer some approval/consent which is obviously not there.

    I would look for another job, as you don't want to be working with someone with such an unprofessional approach. I would also suggest, if you want to/have to stay, keeping both the 'gift', and beginning a written log/record of all inappropriate behaviour, in case you need to use or refer to it later on.
    :)


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    #98
    STB.
    Registered Users Posts: 5,380 ✭✭✭STB.


    TimeToShine wrote: »
    TBH it sounds to me like he would have gotten lingerie for any of the women had he drawn them in the secret santa. The fact he was able to call someone to ask about your size attests to this.

    No it doesn't.
    TimeToShine wrote: »
    There is clearly a workplace "culture" here that you are not cut out for, which is probably a good thing.

    The OP must have missed the required skills about accepting sexual harassment in the work conditions so.
    TimeToShine wrote: »
    Move on and stop making this personal.

    Buying somebody lingerie is making it personal.
    TimeToShine wrote: »
    The age old adage "Never attribute to malice that which can adequately explained by ignorance" applies here.

    I'm sure I could find an equally resonant quote about apologists and whataboutery but I wont bother.

    Sure he sounds like a David Brent type character, but then again he could be just a really disturbed person behind that also.

    One thing is for sure, he is putting himself and his company in danger with these antics. Last time I checked there are pretty serious financial consequences for people who leave themselves open to such exposure.


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