Second miscarriage

Neyite

Boots234 wrote: »

My wife is the same regarding the nausea as she hasn't had symptoms yet, that is why we were so nervous about today's scan. The nurse said that she is at almost 8 weeks now and she was able to see the heartbeat on the screen, is that normal for this stage?

Yep, heartbeat on an ultrasound from about 6/7 weeks should be easy to spot. I know women who had scans at 5 and a half weeks and saw a heartbeat, but it can be hit and miss if the embryo is well tucked away or the sonographer is inexperienced.

I never had nausea, and the only time I actually threw up during my pregnancy was in recovery after my c-section when baby was safely delivered. I know quite a few women who never got nausea at all, apparently about 20-25% of women don't get any morning sickness. My first proper 'symptom' was actually an expanding belly.

From my other short-lived pregnancies I did notice some other physical things that occurred which I now know I experience in early pregnancy, but aren't specific pregnancy symptoms - like a brief woolly-headed feeling that's a bit like you stood up too fast, not quite dizzyness. But its because I only experienced it during pregnancy that I now know its a symptom of mine. The other is thrush, caused by a hormone change in the first trimester. Again, something that can occur outside of pregnancy but on all my pregnancies, I spotted that in or around my positive pregnancy test so its another 'tell' for me.

seamus

Neyite wrote: »

A word of warning though, its tricky to find the heartbeat with one until at least the second trimester, so you could panic unduly if you couldn't find a heartbeat but need to remember that you might be missing it and all could be fine deep inside.

To a certain extent there is a curse in modern medicine of having access to too much information. I know of women who've bought dopplers and then used them religiously every day "to be sure". Of course them if they forgot to do it one day, they'd wake up at 6am the next and check it in a panic.
The same as video monitors for babies, an excess of information results in winding yourself up to worry excessively about problems that aren't there.

OP, delighted things are working out for you now. The only advice I can give you is to worry less about what "normal" should be. Every pregnancy is different. My wife MC'ed at the end of November and from the moment she started bleeding, she knew something was wrong, even though it took two weeks to resolve itself. But we've had other family members who bled the entire way through healthy pregnancies brought to term. So even if you do find out that something is "slightly outside" of the norm, that's no indication that there's any problem.

At these early stages, you (and your wife especially) will know things are actually wrong if they occur. While you may think that frequently measuring and prodding and poking will give you peace of mind, in reality since it's effectively out of your hands, more data points just gives you more stuff to worry about

For the moment you are both just passengers on a ship. So don't spend your time trying to watch out for icebergs when you can't do anything about them anyway. Instead try to just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Hazelnut Button

Delighted everything went well for you today. I can completely sympathize with the fear both you and your wife are feeling. I had 2 miscarriages in the last year and I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant (furthest we've ever gotten). I'm still petrified that it could all end at any minute despite the statistics being firmly in our favour. Myself and my other half have found it very hard to get excited for fear it could be taken away again.

That mixture of fear and excitement going in for a scan is indescribable. We've both said that we don't think we've truly embraced the moment as we were so consumed with relief that baby was still there with a heartbeat. The wait between scans can be torturous too. I find I'm buzzing for a few days after and content all is well for a week or two. But slowly the fear creeps back in. We're due to go for our big scan in 2 weeks and the mixture of excitement and fear is back. I can't feel baby move yet so find it hard to believe its still in there.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is what you're both feeling is normal. I keep telling myself to be more positive and enjoy the pregnancy more. I'm getting better but I have my days were I'm an irrational lunatic. I think the fear will remain to the end but it also lessens with every milestone you pass eg. 12 weeks, 20 weeks, first movements etc...

I.really hope everything works out for you both. Wishing you the best of luck on what will hopefully be a healthy and happy 9 months.

LegacyUser

Hazelnut Button wrote: »

Delighted everything went well for you today. I can completely sympathize with the fear both you and your wife are feeling. I had 2 miscarriages in the last year and I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant (furthest we've ever gotten). I'm still petrified that it could all end at any minute despite the statistics being firmly in our favour. Myself and my other half have found it very hard to get excited for fear it could be taken away again.

That mixture of fear and excitement going in for a scan is indescribable. We've both said that we don't think we've truly embraced the moment as we were so consumed with relief that baby was still there with a heartbeat. The wait between scans can be torturous too. I find I'm buzzing for a few days after and content all is well for a week or two. But slowly the fear creeps back in. We're due to go for our big scan in 2 weeks and the mixture of excitement and fear is back. I can't feel baby move yet so find it hard to believe its still in there.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is what you're both feeling is normal. I keep telling myself to be more positive and enjoy the pregnancy more. I'm getting better but I have my days were I'm an irrational lunatic. I think the fear will remain to the end but it also lessens with every milestone you pass eg. 12 weeks, 20 weeks, first movements etc...

I.really hope everything works out for you both. Wishing you the best of luck on what will hopefully be a healthy and happy 9 months.

Honestly, first time round, I was in a fog of fear for 9 months. I bought nothing until about 36 weeks. Wouldn't even let myself pack a labour bag. Didn't decorate a bedroom, did nothing. As you say, I was content for a few days and then the paralysing terror would creep back in. I just wanted to get to 13 weeks, then 20 weeks, then 24 weeks (viable), then 30 weeks, then 36 weeks (lungs developed)......I relaxed around 39.5 weeks somewhat. But really, I was still in shock when they placed her in my arms that she was there and she was ok.

This time round the fear is still there - I just have less time to concentrate on it due to the presence of a nutty toddler

I remember meeting people from my ante-natal class for a quick trip around the maternity hospital to the A&E, delivery rooms etc, and hearing some of them asking questions about where the A&E was, and how did it work when they came in in labour, where did they go and how did they register - and I remember a little bit of me thinking "you are so unbelievably lucky that you have got through entire pregnancies with no hospital visits other than to the private clinic for your scans - that you have never known the fear of sitting in the A&E waiting room for hours to try and find out what is going on". Another girl in my class who had also had a few scares too actually quietly said that into my ear aswell.

Your fear is normal especially for someone who has experienced it going wrong before. Seamus makes excellent points in his post - and for me, I'll add that this is the first of many lessons about life and what really matters that your child will teach you

We can't tell you it will all be fine, but we certainly wish you the best

Boots234

As recommended by some posters here we have decided to go for an additional external scan before our next scheduled visit to the hospital on the 2nd of February. We have made the appointment for next Wednesday to help to put our mind at ease as it was a very long time to wait for the 4 weeks before the next hospital visit. After last week’s scan we were very happy for a couple of days but as time is passing by we are becoming worried again in anticipation for next week’s scan, it seems to be a never ending cycle.

My wife still isn’t showing any symptoms and when I asked her yesterday evening how she felt she said ‘worryingly fine’. We aren’t talking about the pregnancy at the moment and all we can do is to wait patiently for next week to come and hope that everything is still fine.

I just want to thank all of the people who have posted messages on this topic and I appreciate the fact that people have taken the time to tell me about their own experiences and to give valuable words of advice.

Little Miss Cutie

Boots234, I think if you are in a position to go for a private scan it's a great idea.

I was an absolute bags of nerves until I could feel baby moving, and that was despite having horrific morning (all day) sickness. That said most of my friends have sailed through the 1st trimester.

I hope in a few months you will sharing the great news of the safe arrival of baby

Boots234

We had our 12 week scan this morning and I am very relieved to say that everything is going ok. We were a bag of nerves for the past few days but we weren't even mentioning the subject. Our main concern was that my wife is having absolutely no symptoms but from reading other posters here that actually seems like a common enough occurrence. The relief when seeing the images on the screen from the ultrasound this morning was fantastic, it's a feeling that would be difficult to replicate

Kathy22

Delighted to hear it Boots, hopefully you guys can relax a little and enjoy the pregnancy as much as you can. Enjoy sharing the news with people you care about

irishgirl19

Fantastic news!

LegacyUser

Congrats OP, I was actually wondering about you the other day.Hang on in there, and take each week at a time.Don't worry too much about your wife's lack of symptoms, there's a lot of pregnancy left for her to get all sorts of random symptoms :-) There's no prescribed signs for anyone with this, it's absolutely out of your control.Enjoy telling friends and family, and best of luck with it all.

borderlinemeath

That's brilliant news! Now the first trimester is over it's a lot easier to relax and enjoy the pregnancy. There's nothing like seeing your baby moving on the screen, it's amazing how developed they are at this stage and how strong the heartbeat is.

Boots234

My wife had blood when she went to the bathroom this morning. She contacted the hospital and they asked about the heaviness of the bleeding and if she is in pain (she isn't) and told her to wait for a couple of hours to see if the bleeding stops. We are waiting at the moment but this is torture, I don't know what to say or do. Has anyone experience of this? There was blood in the water and when she wiped afterwards, sorry for being so graphic

Day Lewin

Crossing fingers and breathing a little prayer that its all ok. That little bleeding is common enough, but it is a worry, of course, and better if it didnt happen at all.
Really hoping very good vibes for the three of you!

Neyite

It's hard to wait, but I'm afraid that's all that you can do in this case. I'm so sorry this is happening to you both. It might be that there is a tiny bleed but because she was lying down it pooled and when she went to the loo it looked like a lot at once.

The last time I went in, the gynae who examined me said that women can bleed quite a bit and still have a healthy pregnancy. She said that all you can really do is hope for the best.

I'm so sorry you are going through this worry, and hope that everything will be ok for you both.

Boots234

We waited the couple of hours before checking again and there was only a tiny amount of blood. We rang the hospital and they didn't seem unduly worried so they have booked us in for a scan on Monday morning. It's a waiting game again, constantly waiting

Kathy22

Boots234 wrote: »

We waited the couple of hours before checking again and there was only a tiny amount of blood. We rang the hospital and they didn't seem unduly worried so they have booked us in for a scan on Monday morning. It's a waiting game again, constantly waiting

Boots I had two bleeds early into the second trimester. They happened about two weeks apart and lasted a day or two. I was freaking out but luckily both times my doctor saw me straight away when he knew how concerned I was, both times baby was fine. My doctor reckoned it was old trapped blood that can come out as things grow and move. I am 26 weeks now and haven't had a bleed since then. Apparently it is more common than you think! Are you in Dublin? It's worse for your wife to be worried so you could always present yourself at the emergency room of your maternity hospital and they won't turn you away. Try to think positive but also go get things checked today if you need to. Best of luck.

Neyite

That's promising at least that the bleeding has slowed right down.

It is a waiting game. And its so hard and you feel so helpless.

Don't let your wife start thinking that it was something she may have inadvertently caused. It's easy to find ways to feel guilty during this time but the fact is that a standard pregnancy is pretty robust and normal day to day activities and diet don't harm a pregnancy. So if she starts to think that maybe that rushing around during the week or something she ate did this, don't let her put that guilt on herself.

Flippyfloppy

I too had bleeds during my two successful pregnancies. And no bleeds in my non successful one.

It can be quite common yet is definitely unsettling. Sorry I can't have more comforting words or be of more help...I do understand how scary pregnancy can be following a miscarriage.

irishgirl19

I had bleeds too (unexplained) and all worked out? Is your wife rhesus negative op? If so she will need to get an anti d

Boots234

irishgirl19 wrote: »

I had bleeds too (unexplained) and all worked out? Is your wife rhesus negative op? If so she will need to get an anti d

My wife is rhesus positive thankfully. There hasn't been any blood since this morning which I keep telling her is good

hollymartins

I am sorry that you and your wife are going through this. I had a miscarriage early last year, then I became pregnant during the summer. We had the 12 week scan and everything was well but when we went on holiday a week later I had some light spotting and bleeding. I spent so much time googling looking for reassurance and when we returned we didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy until we had another scan when I was 15 weeks. I mentioned the bleeding at the scan and she said it was probably old blood.

I am now 35 weeks and while I can not say everything will be okay I can say from experience that light bleeding doesn't mean a miscarriage. I hope you and your wife get good news.

irishgirl19

Boots234 wrote:

My wife is rhesus positive thankfully. There hasn't been any blood since this morning which I keep telling her is good

Its a good sign.

brokensoul

Not really adding anything new to what others have said but I had bleeding between week 5 and 6 of my pregnancy and all was fine when I had my scan. In my case it was a subchorionic hemorrhage, basically a pocket of blood in my uterus which leaked out as the embryos grew.

It was absolutely terrifying at the time though, my heart goes out to you both. I was also post miscarriage when it happened so I know it adds an extra layer of worry.

Will have fingers and toes crossed for you.

brokensoul

Not really adding anything new to what others have said but I had bleeding between week 5 and 6 of my pregnancy and all was fine when I had my scan. In my case it was a subchorionic hemorrhage, basically a pocket of blood in my uterus which leaked out as the embryos grew.

It was absolutely terrifying at the time though, my heart goes out to you both. I was also post miscarriage when it happened so I know it adds an extra layer of worry.

Will have fingers and toes crossed for you.

yellow hen

You poor thing... It's very hard not to worry. I had two bleeds on this pregnancy and both occurred on occasions where I probably would have been due a period so maybe get your wife to check dates. Are you anywhere near your maternity hospital? I was close to the Coombe both times and they told me to come into emergency for a scan. Stay positive, it's very slight and she's not experiencing pain so it doesn't sound that abnormal.

Boots234

We are about 30 minutes from CUH but the nurse on the phone this morning said to wait until the scan on Monday morning as my wife was describing her symptoms, which we are trying to take as a good thing

Little Miss Cutie

Boots234 wrote: »

We waited the couple of hours before checking again and there was only a tiny amount of blood. We rang the hospital and they didn't seem unduly worried so they have booked us in for a scan on Monday morning. It's a waiting game again, constantly waiting

Boots, I know from experience how awful it is to have a bleed. I had 15 bleeds during my pregnancy, 2 in first trimester and the rest after 13 weeks. I'm rhesus negative so had lots of anti-d injections.

I was seen by a number of specialist and they didn't find any cause for the bleeding, baby was always perfectly healthy.

Thinking of you and your wife

LegacyUser

I think I said it before but I bled from week 6 to week 13 on my first and during week 6/7 on this one.Now at 34 weeks here, so far so good.(and one mad toddler)
It's terrifying.I know how she feels.I will say that I took myself straight into the emergency dept each time.If they're telling you to wait, then wait it out, they do know what they're doing.The blood may come and go a bit depending on what she's been doing, ie lying down, walking etc.It does that.Never found out what caused mine either.
Just have faith OP, but you're right.The waiting is torturous.Not something we're used to in today's instant world.Fingers crossed all goes ok on Monday, and continues to go well.

wuffly

Boots, so sorry to hear this, wishing you both the best for tomorrow's scan. Unfortunately after a miscarriage pregnancy can be pretty scary. I'm 27 weeks now on my third pregnancy and hopefully first baby. Its very hard not worry. I still worry about everything. As Neyite said try to stop your wife analyzing anything she might have done, bleeds are very common during healthy pregnancies. Fingers crossed that all goes well tomorrow.

Boots234

We had the scan this morning and everything was fine thankfully. The nurse said that it was just spotting, such a relief. I was getting confidence from reading what was being posted here and that there had been no further bleeding since Saturday morning.

As we were in the waiting room a couple came out of the scanning room and you could tell that they had received bad news, heartbreaking stuff as we could relate to them