Fear of Flying

Elessar

With the new year approaching I'm sure most of us are reflecting on life and setting goals for ourselves the next 12 months. Well one of mine is to (hopefully) take a flight. I've had a fear of flying for about 10 years now and my last flight was 8 years ago. However after burying my head in the sand about it for so long I'm realising I'm missing on so much of life. I really, really want to see America (New York and San Fran) and a few other places but the thoughts of getting there stop me dead in my tracks.

Anyone with a fear of flying will know how significant an impact it can have on your life. I've even gone as far as turning down job offers because the company wanted me to travel abroad for training. When friends and relatives go abroad for holidays or family events like weddings, you make every excuse under the sun to avoid them, and feel wracked with guilt afterwards.

I have this image of me, standing looking at the Golden Gate bridge on a sunny day in San Fran, thinking wow I made it! - but honestly it feels like I might as well be trying to get to the moon.

Thing is, I've flown many times in my life up to the point when I developed the fear, and used to love it so much I wanted to be a pilot. I know how planes fly, I know the training pilots do, I know what most of the sounds are. I know it's safe. It's the claustrophobia or, as someone else put it, the lack of control which gets me.

I really need to nip this in the bud. Has anyone else managed to overcome their fear of flying? Anyone similar to me?!

ASoberThought

Something like alprazolam (xanax) should take the edge right off that...

Fr_Dougal

word of advice, don't press the big red button and you'll be grand.

Corpus Twisty

ASoberThought wrote: »

Something like alprazolam (xanax) should take the edge right off that...

Un-apt user name.

Although a fear of flying isn't all that irrational. Planes crash, usually taking everyone on board with them. Logically, you are sitting in an aluminium tube packed with jet fuel and people, traveling at huge speeds, so to say "I have an irrational fear of flying" isn't actually irrational. Possibly a good approach would be to accept that the day your number is up, it is up, and feel the fear and do it anyway.

The_Valeyard

Hurry up and invent those star trek transporters.

Corpus Twisty

Corpus Twisty wrote: »

Un-apt user name.

Although a fear of flying isn't all that irrational. Planes crash, usually taking everyone on board with them. Logically, you are sitting in an aluminium tube packed with jet fuel and people, traveling at huge speeds, so to say "I have an irrational fear of flying" isn't actually irrational. Possibly a good approach would be to accept that the day your number is up, it is up, and feel the fear and do it anyway.

Surprisingly, that's wrong!

Years ago, air travel wasn’t as safe—from the early 1960s to the 1980s, 54% of passengers involved in a crash perished. In the last quarter century, the fatality rate of plane crashes has fallen to 39%

You have more than a 60% chance of surviving a plane crash.

For aviation experts, the survival rate in that crash isn’t surprising: for every 100 million passengers who travel on airplanes worldwide, just two are killed.

Two deaths for every 100 million passengers is still two too many, but it's hands-down, pants-up, arms-out safer than any other form of mass transport.

http://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/whats-the-survival-rate-plane-crashes-better-you-think

What's the stats on large planes having survivors?

I'd imagine most jumbo planes wipe out everyone

Corpus Twisty

Candie wrote: »

Surprisingly, that's wrong!



You have more than a 60% chance of surviving a plane crash.

I'm gonna bet that the idea of the yoke going down would kill me with a heart-attack...so I doubt whatever the outcome of the final crash-bang-wallop would be would matter.

the evasion_kid

hate flying,never used to be this way about.im heading to south east asia in a few days and if there was boat down to there id take it.looks like ill have to get valiumed up to the eyeballs...

Nodin

Elessar wrote: »

With the new year approaching I'm sure most of us are reflecting on life and setting goals for ourselves the next 12 months. Well one of mine is to (hopefully) take a flight. I've had a fear of flying for about 10 years now and my last flight was 8 years ago. However after burying my head in the sand about it for so long I'm realising I'm missing on so much of life. I really, really want to see America (New York and San Fran) and a few other places but the thoughts of getting there stop me dead in my tracks.

Anyone with a fear of flying will know how significant an impact it can have on your life. I've even gone as far as turning down job offers because the company wanted me to travel abroad for training. When friends and relatives go abroad for holidays or family events like weddings, you make every excuse under the sun to avoid them, and feel wracked with guilt afterwards.

I have this image of me, standing looking at the Golden Gate bridge on a sunny day in San Fran, thinking wow I made it! - but honestly it feels like I might as well be trying to get to the moon.

Thing is, I've flown many times in my life up to the point when I developed the fear, and used to love it so much I wanted to be a pilot. I know how planes fly, I know the training pilots do, I know what most of the sounds are. I know it's safe. It's the claustrophobia or, as someone else put it, the lack of control which gets me.

I really need to nip this in the bud. Has anyone else managed to overcome their fear of flying? Anyone similar to me?!

What went wrong man?

the evasion_kid

Nodin wrote: »

What went wrong man?

he probably realised what he was actually doing......getting into a pressurised container thousands of feet in the air....

RoboKlopp

RoboKlopp wrote: »

What's the stats on large planes having survivors?

I'd imagine most jumbo planes wipe out everyone

Survival rates are usually calculated from the stats involving civil aircraft carrying more than 9 passengers. So those rates would exclude the smallest crashes involving private pilots.

Steve F

One of the safest modes of transport known to man is flying in a commercial airliner

All the things we do on a daily basis such as driving a car,riding in a bus/train,walking across a busy street,walking home from the pub on dimly lit country roads and 100's of other things we do every day of the year but rarely do we get hurt/killed

Stats are that you are 1000's of times more likely to be killed travelling to the airport than you are during the flight

I know this probably won't reassure you but those are the bald facts

The_Valeyard

the evasion_kid wrote: »

he probably realised what he was actually doing......getting into a pressurised container thousands of feet in the air....

He used all the roll of sticky tape.

Ol' Donie

Now dig this. Your plane ain't gonna crash. I fly every week for work. Have done for a few years.
They never crash.

Sit back & enjoy they peace and quiet, baby.

Titzon Toast

Don't be worrying about flying OP, it's crashing you have worry about.

Graces7

Phobias are totally irrational and not amenable to reasoning. Horrific. A friend of mine had this fear and had some success via counselling and therapy. I amazed myself when I came to Ireland by loving the flights.. Three in all from the tiny island I was leaving and the first in a storm. I knew then i would never fly again so revelled in it.. maybe ask your dr re desensitising therapy?

KatW4

I absolutely dread flying, I cry, I panic and I get sick on planes. I lived in London for 3 years and made 50 flights in that time. I still dread it though, nothing has made it better. I get through the flight by curling up and reading a book, sounds silly but it makes me focus on something else.

If I had to make a long flight, I think I'd get something from the doctor to knock me out!

SVI40

I was similar to the OP, loved flying, wanted to be a pilot and then started to develop a fear of flying.

I got Alan Carr's book on overcoming your fear of flying, and since then haven't looked back.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Easy-Enjoy-Flying-Allen-Carrs/dp/0718194381

jester77

OP, the actual flying is the most enjoyable part of the journey. What you have to go through on both sides to enter and exit non-eu countries is what would really put one off flying. I try and avoid going to the US as much as possible because of their entry system, it is a very unpleasant and frustrating experience.

bnt

I flew a few long trips as a kid (aged 7 & 10), then didn't fly again until I was about 21. I remember being slightly nervous, but I forgot about all that when I saw the view from my window seat. That's a major payoff for me, if I can get it.

Fleawuss

Walk every where.

Mena

jester77 wrote: »

OP, the actual flying is the most enjoyable part of the journey. What you have to go through on both sides to enter and exit non-eu countries is what would really put one off flying. I try and avoid going to the US as much as possible because of their entry system, it is a very unpleasant and frustrating experience.

Really? I travel to the US at least every second month, sometimes more, and it's never an issue bar the odd occasion an A380 lands ahead of you and there are immigration queues. Perhaps traveling for business is easier from an immigration PoV than leisure though.

I fly more than most for business and while it's by far the safest form of travel, you're still out of (your) control at high speeds. That's what gets me. My control freak nature at its worst and I find that as I get older I'm less and less comfortable sitting 'not in the pilots seat' - though were that to happen the end result would be entirely predictable 😄. To the op, go to a doc and get a pill, it will take the edge off, that's all I got.

ScumLord

Elessar wrote: »

the lack of control which gets me.

Really? Sounds more like an excuse. How much control do you actually have in your life? Your car doesn't even trust you to take full control of it, pretty much everything you do on a daily basis is out of your hands.

I think I'd be more nervous if I was expected to be in control of the plane. I'll just leave that to the guy who's been training and flying planes for the last decade.

You don't really need to get over your fear of flying, flying is scary, it's not supposed to be something humans should do. All you need to do is find a way of dealing with it for the duration of the flight. You only have to put up with being a afraid for 6 hours at most. Six hours is nothing.

con___manx1

I have a fear of flying op. I also have a fear of heights but I usually don't let my fears get the better of me. I force myself to get through them. In the last few years things have happend to me that has made me realise how short life actually is. You can't let fear hold you back. You have to fight against it no matter how terrafying it is. I have been to San Fran and new York and quite a few other places around the world. I would pick San Fran out of the two. However it is a longer flight ; ) maybe 3 or 4 hours.

AppleBottle

Flying is a massive fear to overcome so fair play for you being so determined to do it My grandfather had a fear of flying and in his 85 years never flew once while my granny jet-setted across the world

I don't know too much about it, but a girl I work with has a major fear of flying. It hasn't stopped her flying though, she will just take a few Valium and a bottle of wine before a flight However, she had mentioned about taking classes provided by (I think!) the DAA. She said she was put on the course but turned out it was fully booked and couldn't do it. It was expensive enough. Not sure how it works or what techniques are used but worth a look into? Sorry... I don't know anymore information about it.

Nodin

Mena wrote: »

Really? I travel to the US at least every second month, sometimes more, and it's never an issue bar the odd occasion an A380 lands ahead of you and there are immigration queues. Perhaps traveling for business is easier from an immigration PoV than leisure though.

I fly more than most for business and while it's by far the safest form of travel, you're still out of (your) control at high speeds. That's what gets me. My control freak nature at its worst and I find that as I get older I'm less and less comfortable sitting 'not in the pilots seat' - though were that to happen the end result would be entirely predictable ��. To the op, go to a doc and get a pill, it will take the edge off, that's all I got.

The above are words of wisdom. On the other hand, Fear + booze + plane = bad idea.

pastorbarrett

Having dealt with this myself, via various methods, one thing I can be assured of is that there is no magic pill for this. Like most other difficulties encountered in life, overcoming, or rather, learning to manage it necessitates some effort and work on our part.

OP, I'll point you in the way of SOAR as a comprehensive method of tackling this issue. http://www.fearofflying.com/

There are several programmes available, however the actual book will suffice, available to download for a relative pittance on amazon. It differs in the sense that it offers a comprehensive approach to tackling it, having a significant cognitive component using tried and tested means to manage stress etc.

For those advocating medication, there is significant research presented there too noting that it ultimately doesn't solve the problem, and in some instances actually compounds anxiety.

OP and others affected, given the sheer opportunity and joy that travel afford us, you owe it to yourself to invest the few quid - and more importantly the time and effort - to learn how to deal with this. Do it. Happy flying

Lia_lia

I don't have a fear of flying, actually I love flying! So I'm not much help. I've flown hundreds of times since I was a baby and the worst that happened was a bit of turbulence. Actually I think the "worst" flight I was on in recent years was during storm Barney. The landing was a bit rocky but was grand.

I don't really understand the fear of dying in a plane crash. If the plane crashes you're probably going to die immediately and that's that.


But that's never going to happen!

Agricola

Never gave this phobia much thought til I read this. I have a terrible fear of heights. Well, I'm ok looking out from the top of tall buildings but I can't hack going to the end of a ladder or anywhere one misstep could be the end of me. Couldn't imagine experiencing this paralyzing fear when it comes to plane journeys and missing out on the all those places and sights.
Hope you manage to take that flight in 2016 OP!

Aurum

I would suggest that you try a short flight next year to start with, perhaps a break in London, so you will only have to cope with the anxiety for a short while, and you can learn what calming techniques work for you and which don't. The fact that you can tell yourself that you'll be back on the ground within the hour can itself be quite calming. I find that the best tools are very good sound isolation headphones, (which I keep in even when not listening to music/podcasts because I find the sound of the engines a bit anxiety inducing) and then a big bundle of distractions; favorite books, episodes of tv series or podcasts that you've been saving, movies that you love or really want to see, video games, puzzles, lots of music, always have things on hand that will distract you from the fact that you're in a small tube in the sky. For me this distraction is usually the key to keeping my anxiety under control.

Corpus Twisty

RoboKlopp wrote: »

What's the stats on large planes having survivors?

I'd imagine most jumbo planes wipe out everyone

I've visions of the people on MH370, the russian one the boyos blew up, that other malaysian one that went missing..the ones ploughed into the world trade center, etc etc..sitting there as they started to turn fiery going "Jasus Mavis, the lying B******s said this craic was the safest way to travvel.."

Must just have been their lucky day to be on the ones that didn't follow the general trend..

Poochie05

Hi OP
http://www.flyfearless.ie
I did this course and found it really good.
Also check out the Phobias forum here on Boards.

The main thing to remember about a fear of flying or other phobias is that sufferers already know it is not rational so people on here trying to rationalise it will not really help. The course provides lots of information to help you understand more about flying but also provides techniques to stop the anxiety taking hold. the guy who runs the course is very helpful and he recommends having a short flight booked to take a few days after the course.

Grandeeod

Its been said before and will be said again, but...

Nobody has a fear of flying, they have a fear of crashing.

To be a little safer and depending where you are flying to, sit at the back of the plane, because they tend not to reverse into mountains.

In general...you're grand. Safe as houses. (that aren't under crashing planes.)

faceman

I fly regularly OP, mostly long haul and I can identify with you. I dislike flying, and dislike ranges from crippling fear to almost crippling fear.

It used to be a lot worse but fortunately it never got to a point where I wouldn't get on a plane. I always had the end goal in mind.

I don't dread flying as much anymore and a number of things help. First off I'll share what doesn't help.

* Drink or drugs as a remedy. Doesn't deal with the problem and can make things work.

* Reading flight stats on how safe if it is makes little difference to how you the fear.

* Listening to the safety demo. I gave up. It only gives an association with danger.

Things that helped me:

* Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way To Enjoy Flying". (Another poster mentions it earlier too) Bu far the best book on controlling your phobia. Can't recommend it enough.

* BA's course, Flying Withour Fear. You can do it at a number of UK airports. It's very highly rated. They also have an excellent book of the same name.

* Try find a pilot you can chat to. You'd be amazed at how much it can put you at ease knowing that the pilots are not dare devil adventures and are in fact a routine journey.

* Chat to the crew when you're on a plane. Most crew and sympathic to people with phobias and some airlines train their crew to deal with it.

Feel free to drop me a message if I can be of help.

Mr. CooL ICE

No fear here. I think takeoff and landing is pretty awesome. Just everything in between is boring as hell.

I remember a flight back from London was delayed at the gate. We were all boarded but the plane wasn't moving for ages. Eventually the pilot spoke over the intercom

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

My name is xxx and I am your captain today. It was actually supposed to be a different pilot, but he was sick so I'm here instead. I was supposed to be off today, but, well, here I am.

*long, loud sigh*

Aaaanyway, enjoy your flight.

If you have a fear of flying, last thing you would need to hear is the pilot not wanting to be there.

uck51js9zml2yt

The 2 best airports I've flown in and out of were Innsbruck which is a mountain at the end of the runway and Kowloon in hong kong . can't beat flying in over the apartment blocks and hoping the pilot stops before he hits the sea at the end if the runway.

BreadnBuddha

I take about 100 commercial flights a year on business. Everything from 50 minute city hopper types to 12-16 hour long haul. I love flying. Infrequent travelers have a crap experience: queing for everything, security checks, immigration, paying baggage fees, €5 for a sandwich...

It's a stressful thing, to be taking a flight every now and then. Anything you can do to make it more pleasurable an experience can be a great help. Check in online the day before. Put the boarding pass on your phone. Don't check in your bags; travel light with carry on. Pay for lounge access and priority services and pay for a seat with more legroom. It's €50 extra that will turn a pre-holiday hassle into a much more pleasant experience overall.

Put something interesting on your ipod/phone to listen to, something that enagages you in thought. Take your mind off all the what-if's. NPR's 'Car Talk' regularly has me laughing aloud on a flight.

If you have a cold, get a decongestant and take it when your flight is departing, or before landing. Ask the chemist/doctor for timings. It'll help you deal with the ear ache that you'll likely experience.

With only 1 exception, I've been able to supress the internal discomfort of being in a tube full of strangers, flying at 10-13km above the earth, at speeds of over 700km/h. The only time I had a rough experience was in incredibly heavy turbulence into Gothenberg a couple of weeks ago on an Embraer 190. 'Small' plane, thrown around the place so the pilot 'went around'. Brilliant job landing after all, which reminded me, the guys and girls in the cockpit are absolute professionals. Flying with a major western airline, you're in the safest possible hands.

I watch Air Accident Investigators. There's no doubt that people and machines go wrong, but the way airlines and manufacturers work, they learn their lessons and do it fast. I've no doubt that the machines I get into every week or two are better designed, built, maintained and operated than the cars that pass me from the opposite direction on the roads each day.

If we're each driving at 100km/h, that's a combined impact force similar to crashing on my own at 200km/h. It's unlikely I'd get out of that in one piece, yet we all drive at those speeds, trusting our own driving ability and comparatively crap machinery to keep us safe.

Putting aside the statistics about air safety, does it really matter whether you're sitting in a plane versus driving againt the direction of an oncoming articulated truck on an N road? Probably not.

So, take what enjoyment you can from the experience and go where you want to go.

LeeLooLee

ScumLord wrote: »

Really? Sounds more like an excuse. How much control do you actually have in your life? Your car doesn't even trust you to take full control of it, pretty much everything you do on a daily basis is out of your hands.

I think I'd be more nervous if I was expected to be in control of the plane. I'll just leave that to the guy who's been training and flying planes for the last decade.

You don't really need to get over your fear of flying, flying is scary, it's not supposed to be something humans should do. All you need to do is find a way of dealing with it for the duration of the flight. You only have to put up with being a afraid for 6 hours at most. Six hours is nothing.

Eh? You can't even get to New York in 6 hours. She wants to go to San Fran.

bilbot79

I had a fear of flying, deep down I still do because I don't want to fall out of the sky however I believe that no fear of flying can exist without the inability to just calm yourself down. You are paranoid and that's what's causing it. I used to smoke a bit of weed and if ever I smoked too much I would get paranoid and think I was going to have a heart attack but somewhere in that crazy experience I learned to calm myself down by assuring myself in my head. Becoming calm is a deliberate act and you must force it to happen just like you must force down a door handle to open door. Refuse to lose your head.

I developed certain rules that allowed me to become comfortable on the plane

1 The crew aren't bricking it - nothing is wrong
2 The crew do this constantly and are alive - nothing is wrong
3 The sounds you are hearing are same as always - nothing is wrong
4 Turbulents are scary but you are still in your seat - nothing is wrong
5 You are at cruising altitude - relax, it usually goes wrong at take off and landing
6 You are on a Western Airline - nothing is wrong

Wings pushing against air at the angle they have with massive power behind them counteracts the effect of gravity perfectly. The air becomes to the plane what the ground is to a car, you are perfectly safe. Only an act of God or terror can get you and the odds are astronomically low, you have more chance of winning the lotto. Has that happened yet?

KatW4

Grandeeod wrote:

Nobody has a fear of flying, they have a fear of crashing.

I don't agree. I have a fear of flying because of how it makes me feel. It physically makes me feel sick. My stomach churns and my head feels like it's about to explode. I don't even think about the plane crashing.

mynameis905

Corpus Twisty wrote: »

Un-apt user name.

Although a fear of flying isn't all that irrational. Planes crash, usually taking everyone on board with them. Logically, you are sitting in an aluminium tube packed with jet fuel and people, traveling at huge speeds, so to say "I have an irrational fear of flying" isn't actually irrational. Possibly a good approach would be to accept that the day your number is up, it is up, and feel the fear and do it anyway.

Your post makes no sense. A logical person would look at the statistical odds of dying in a plane crash and decide that it's an incredibly safe means of travel.

Nesta99

Dont mind flying but I do fear the whole ATC stuff, long shifts, language or accent issues. increasing air traffic. It is no different imo that than being on a motorcycle which is safe as houses if ye could get rid of the road users. Id fly before commuting daily on the M50!

Diamond Doll

I'm a wee bit anxious about flying, but actually I have more fear about driving. You're statistically far more likely to be killed when on the roads than when in the air. I am a good, safe driver, but I hate the fact that I'm so dependent on the safety of other road users at all times.

faceman wrote: »

I don't dread flying as much anymore and a number of things help. First off I'll share what doesn't help.

* Drink or drugs as a remedy. Doesn't deal with the problem and can make things work.

Actually I'd disagree with you there ... OK drink isn't a good idea, but benzos (e.g. Xanax, Valium, Librium) are actually really effective at relaxing you and reducing anxiety. Benzos are highly addictive and suitable only for short-term use, and it wouldn't be a good idea for a regular flier to become dependent on them. However for someone like the OP, who is highly unlikely to ever become a regular flier, they could be an excellent solution for the odd time they take a flight ... why make yourself suffer more than you have to?

faceman

Diamond Doll wrote: »

I'm a wee bit anxious about flying, but actually I have more fear about driving. You're statistically far more likely to be killed when on the roads than when in the air. I am a good, safe driver, but I hate the fact that I'm so dependent on the safety of other road users at all times.



Actually I'd disagree with you there ... OK drink isn't a good idea, but benzos (e.g. Xanax, Valium, Librium) are actually really effective at relaxing you and reducing anxiety. Benzos are highly addictive and suitable only for short-term use, and it wouldn't be a good idea for a regular flier to become dependent on them. However for someone like the OP, who is highly unlikely to ever become a regular flier, they could be an excellent solution for the odd time they take a flight ... why make yourself suffer more than you have to?

Fair comment re irregular fliers. My point is that the anxiety for flying remains and the individual risks seeing pills as their only solution. Short flights fine but long haul the pills will only be so effective.