Which soap world would you live in?

c_man

The parents have their set shows and they're pretty much impossible to escape (especially on Christmas day itself) so I'm getting my annual fix of the various soaps. Which soap universe would you choose to live in (you have to, gun to the head scenario)?

Corrie has a nice jovial atmosphere most of the time, I reckon I'm a good enough lad not to get murdered. Although I do think I could dance with the devil so to speak and spark up a passionate affair with Tracy Barlow. She'd eat me alive. Might wrangle a job in the knicker factory to start off with.

Eastenders... it takes a certain toughness to survive Watford. You look at someone the wrong way and before you know it you're in a bitter feud with House Mitchell. I saw an episode recently where the mother attempted to drown her adult son after learning of his raping ways... Merry Christmas to all... I don't think it would suit me but perhaps the more enterprising boardsie could find themselves at home here with a fast and furious get rich quick scheme. Patrick's still the man.

Emerdale, I am totally ignorant of it. We need an expert to inform us. I suspect the farming has taken a back seat Last I saw of it was when Patsy Kensit was flaunting around.

Fair City... My life is more exiciting as is compared to any storyline they could come up with. The cliffhanger yesterday was some new fella went drink drinking after some tail. The other stories include tension over the upcoming Panto (...) and that Kilkenny wan is a mistress of some man over in the New York. Nah, I just couldn't pick Carrickstown. Even if they promised to reseerrect Blue Dolphin.

Ros na Rún, it'd be fierce craic for a while lads. They even had the baby abandoned on a doorstep storyline on Christmas eve!


So what say you AH? I'm definitely going with Corrie.

tomwaterford

Can't believe you left out home and away




Though I did hear/read somewhere rumours that the nessa wan Is back in fair city

Championship Vinyl

I voted Emmerdale.

I'm no expert, but that area of countryside looks nice. Especially when some of the alternatives are Weatherfield and East London.

Haven't a clue about Ros na Rún and I'd like it to keep it that way.

swimming in a sea

Hollyoaks is not there the only soap I've ever watched....no prizes for guessing why:D

haveringchick

Eastenders for me. I'd be Dots lodger bringing home all the gossip from my job in the laundrette and getting involved in every shouting match that happens
Plus I'm actually east end born

The_Valeyard

Championship Vinyl wrote: »

I voted Emmerdale.

I'm no expert, but that area of countryside looks nice. Especially when some of the alternatives are Weatherfield and East London.

Haven't a clue about Ros na Rún and I'd like it to keep it that way.

Haven't that entire village been killed off by plane crashes, coach crashes, lorries plowing through buildings.

fleet_admiral

Coronation Street so I could have a go at Rosie Websters diddys

stampydmonkey

Why no home and away? Easily the best soap around

c_man

tomwaterford wrote: »

Can't believe you left out home and away

Ah I suppose I don't really group Aussie soaps in the same league as the others. Nothing against them, I just plain forgot. I suspect their inclusion would skew the results too!

haveringchick wrote: »

Plus I'm actually east end born

Good stuff, you're working on the stalls now.

Ten of Swords

Shameless

Buona Fortuna

Eldorado. Least it would be sunny.

The Backwards Man

The Flying Doctors.

If I'm going to be knee deep in melodrama I want some kangaroos to look at when I'm there

fepper

fleet_admiral wrote: »

Coronation Street so I could have a go at Rosie Websters diddys

Aren't rosies diddys in London now cos she left to go modelling

whatismyname

Ah we definitely need a Hollyoaks up there.

It might have the highest rate of serial killers but it still has a lot of appeal.

Mint Sauce

Neighbours. So I can find that perfect friend.

Tom Dunne

Is the Osbornes considered a soap? A comedy? A tragedy?

I found myself comparing my family to the Osbornes over the festive period.

c_man

fepper wrote: »

Aren't rosies diddys in London now cos she left to go modelling

Well let's consider this.

1) In the Corrie universe - Rosie left for London. Similarly you'd need to work up some serious bank (in terms of stories) to be allowed to leave Weatherfield in pursuit of her. People don't just up and go in these places, you'll need to be seen off in a tearful taxi-driven scene. Or else you speed out of town after doing a hit and run on Sally Webster (twist, she's not dead! And will remember your face at Christmas, over dinner).

2) In the Eastenders universe - Previously Dott has indicted she likes to watch Corrie, which means that the actors of that show exist within the wider canon of the Watford-verse. You're in London so perhaps you could seek out the actress who plays Rosie, while you yourself are a regular in the Queen Vic.

My head hurts.

c_man

whatismyname wrote: »

Ah we definitely need a Hollyoaks up there.

I don't think I've ever met a Hollyoaks fan. It's my pleasure, name is c_man. I promise I'm not a serial killer.

RayM

EastEnders. I'd have to drop out of college though, because commuting from Walford to Dublin would be expensive, and because everybody in Albert Square drops out of college. Finding a job would be easy. All you have to do is sit in the café with the Walford Gazette, drawing circles around job adverts, and someone will walk in and offer you a job in the car lot, starting tomorrow, no need for an interview, previous experience or anything inconvenient like that, so I'll be sorted.

At some point, I'll probably be falsely accused of murder. The truth will come out in the end, but my life will subsequently fall apart and I'll stop shaving for a few days. You'll find me downing double-vodkas in a single mouthful in the Queen Vic. Then I'll start insulting people, and Danny Dyer will throw me out, so I'll have to buy a bottle of scotch in the Minute Mart and drink it on Arthur Fowler's bench or dahn at the allotments. Thankfully, a few highly unlikely words of wisdom from a brash middle-aged woman (salt of the earth type) will get me on the right track again.

I'll then fall in love with an unrealistically young and attractive woman and get her 'up the duff', but it'll ultimately turn out that the kid is someone else's (probably my brother). I'll find out on Christmas Day. At our wedding reception in the Vic (where else?). I'll be devastated about that, and my life will fall apart again (drinking neat vodka in the Vic, picking fights, getting thrown out, drinking dahn at the allotments, etc). After a few highly unlikely words of wisdom from a brash middle-aged woman (salt of the earth type), I'll decide to leave Walford for good. I'll be just about to board a train at Walford East station, when my estranged wife will appear. We make up and I decide to bring the kid up as my own. We board the train and the 'poignant' version of the theme tune begins.

Whitewinged

I'd go for Emmerdale. I live in a village a bit like that anyway minus the plane crashes and tragedies.

My granny was over in my parents house years ago and they were all watching Emmerdale. She was delighted to inform us all that the character Chris Tate was in real life married to Kim Tate, the woman who played his step mother in the show. In the show Chris was in a wheelchair and my dad said to my granny in response, "and did you know, in real life she's in the wheelchair and he's fine?" and my granny said "oooooh really"

If I had a choice other than the poll, I'd like to live in a "Life On Mars world" much better background music and fashion. I can just picture my husband driving around in his Mark III Cortina thinking he's great

NachoBusiness

Emmerdale, just so I could drive on all that gravel. Love driving on gravel.

Faith+1

Fair City. You'll never be out of work, always be offered a place to crash and if all else fails you can join the Army or "Emigrate" to Cork.

Championship Vinyl

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Haven't that entire village been killed off by plane crashes, coach crashes, lorries plowing through buildings.

Less people so. Even better.

the groutch

Imperial Leather

Tony EH

None.

They're all mind numbing shit.

iDave

Hollyoaks. Hoping the writers let me have a go on Jorgie Porter.

Eastenders, without a doubt. For all the solid reasons that RayM enumerated and also because I'm a Londoner. Also, unlike in the soap, real Eastenders know how to have a laugh, and also because a real Cockney market is a fun place to be. There tends to be a bit less murder and intrigue than in the soap, which is probably because the Mitchells are only a shadow of the Krays :P

I'd be happy to live in a soap world full of dove and happiness

Andre 3000

RayM wrote: »

EastEnders. I'd have to drop out of college though, because commuting from Walford to Dublin would be expensive, and because everybody in Albert Square drops out of college. Finding a job would be easy. All you have to do is sit in the café with the Walford Gazette, drawing circles around job adverts, and someone will walk in and offer you a job in the car lot, starting tomorrow, no need for an interview, previous experience or anything inconvenient like that, so I'll be sorted.

At some point, I'll probably be falsely accused of murder. The truth will come out in the end, but my life will subsequently fall apart and I'll stop shaving for a few days. You'll find me downing double-vodkas in a single mouthful in the Queen Vic. Then I'll start insulting people, and Danny Dyer will throw me out, so I'll have to buy a bottle of scotch in the Minute Mart and drink it on Arthur Fowler's bench or dahn at the allotments. Thankfully, a few highly unlikely words of wisdom from a brash middle-aged woman (salt of the earth type) will get me on the right track again.

I'll then fall in love with an unrealistically young and attractive woman and get her 'up the duff', but it'll ultimately turn out that the kid is someone else's (probably my brother). I'll find out on Christmas Day. At our wedding reception in the Vic (where else?). I'll be devastated about that, and my life will fall apart again (drinking neat vodka in the Vic, picking fights, getting thrown out, drinking dahn at the allotments, etc). After a few highly unlikely words of wisdom from a brash middle-aged woman (salt of the earth type), I'll decide to leave Walford for good. I'll be just about to board a train at Walford East station, when my estranged wife will appear. We make up and I decide to bring the kid up as my own. We board the train and the 'poignant' version of the theme tune begins.

If one could only thank a post twice. Brilliant.

Medusa22

I think I'd opt for Hollyoaks (even though it isn't an option in the OP, sorry OP!), I know that my chances of being murdered by a serial killer are high, but there are some incredibly good looking people that I could get it on with before I'm bumped off

dark crystal

Dynasty. I think I'd prefer to drink champagne poured by my trusty butler than down a pint of misery in the Queen Vic...

DanielODonnell

Mangrove River near Summer Bay, I recently purchased a prop newspaper from Summer Bay "The Coastal News" which really was the Daily Telegraph with a different front cover glued on.

Buona Fortuna

dark crystal wrote: »

Dynasty. I think I'd prefer to drink champagne poured by my trusty butler than down a pint of misery in the Queen Vic...

Hell yeah. I'd go for Dallas. I like big hats

Hammer89

It'd have to be Corrie. My storyline would be that myself and Michelle Keegan both have incurable sex addictions and we spend the next three months in her flat.

lukesmom

Coronation street for sure. My first mission would be to pry aiden Connor (shayne ward) away from that yoke Eva.

lukesmom

Hammer89 wrote: »

It'd have to be Corrie. My storyline would be that myself and Michelle Keegan both have incurable sex addictions and we spend the next three months in her flat.

You'd shag a corpse???

Hammer89

Her corpse? Absolutely.

Home and Away. I could wile away my team admiring all the hot guys and ladies on the beach, get a handy job teaching in the local school (which doesn't seem to vet its staff particularly stringently) and share a pint with Alf Stewart and Irene (they're still in it, right?) while waiting for my long-lost half-siblings to arrive and turn my world upside down. What's not to love?

Second choice would be Ros na Rún, because then I'd be a fluent Gaeilgeoir and I'd possibly make friends with Stephen Fry.

JupiterKid

RayM wrote: »

EastEnders. I'd have to drop out of college though, because commuting from Walford to Dublin would be expensive, and because everybody in Albert Square drops out of college. Finding a job would be easy. All you have to do is sit in the café with the Walford Gazette, drawing circles around job adverts, and someone will walk in and offer you a job in the car lot, starting tomorrow, no need for an interview, previous experience or anything inconvenient like that, so I'll be sorted.

At some point, I'll probably be falsely accused of murder. The truth will come out in the end, but my life will subsequently fall apart and I'll stop shaving for a few days. You'll find me downing double-vodkas in a single mouthful in the Queen Vic. Then I'll start insulting people, and Danny Dyer will throw me out, so I'll have to buy a bottle of scotch in the Minute Mart and drink it on Arthur Fowler's bench or dahn at the allotments. Thankfully, a few highly unlikely words of wisdom from a brash middle-aged woman (salt of the earth type) will get me on the right track again.

I'll then fall in love with an unrealistically young and attractive woman and get her 'up the duff', but it'll ultimately turn out that the kid is someone else's (probably my brother). I'll find out on Christmas Day. At our wedding reception in the Vic (where else?). I'll be devastated about that, and my life will fall apart again (drinking neat vodka in the Vic, picking fights, getting thrown out, drinking dahn at the allotments, etc). After a few highly unlikely words of wisdom from a brash middle-aged woman (salt of the earth type), I'll decide to leave Walford for good. I'll be just about to board a train at Walford East station, when my estranged wife will appear. We make up and I decide to bring the kid up as my own. We board the train and the 'poignant' version of the theme tune begins.

Brilliant. This is EastEnders in a nutshell.

AppleBottle

I'd love to experience Walford. Danny Dyer...:o

Whitewinged

AppleBottle wrote: »

Danny Dyer...:o

aka Malcolm Smith