2 year old being very naughty help

celligraphy

My 2 year old daughter has become very very bold recently , destructive almost and becoming very wild I'm not sure what to do I 've tried keeping her away from sweets and sugary stuff to see if that helped , she just seems to like hitting and throwing things on purpose , she is a brilliant girl otherwise can anyone recommend how to stop , I think as parents me and her dad have spoiled her .

Also any discipline techniques

bp

Kids so go through phases like that and we found agreed consistency and time was what worked.

Firstly yourself and your OH need to talk together and decide on a course of action and stick with it.

We went with ignore child and give 20 second time out (if over tiredness was not the cause). So if it happened at bed time we would give one warning saying we will just leave, if it happened again we followed through and left the room without finishing the story (would give a kiss, say love you and just go).

During day time it was put on a chair for 20 seconds when calm, then explain, apologise, cuddle - took a few tries.

Now we have automatic responses:.if close to bed time straight to bed, if hits baby a favourite toy gone immediately without debate as hitting another child is not tolerated, if at playground or something we just leave immediately.

By now they known the immediate response to violence but we did a few months of time out first.

Also how does she communicate - could she be frustrated trying to speak? Is she tired or hungry? If my one begins to act up (pre hitting etc) I offer a healthy snack or water.

Does she get out to play enough in fresh air? Is acting up aimed at a particular parent? Try reducing screen time (tv, phones, tablets) for everyone (parents included around her) and try uninterrupted one on one or two (both parents) on one time - reading or playing.

Sorry for the long post but I remember that phase too

pwurple

Is she deliberately naughty, or doesn't know it's wrong? Are you correcting her? I don't mean saying "stop that" from across the room. What works best for us is getting down on the floor, making eye contact, telling her exactly what is wrong, and preventing her from doing the damage.

I personally think the sugar thing is a complete myth. But you do need to watch their physical needs alright. Is she getting plenty of exercise? Is she getting enough snacks? Is she bored? Enough naps?

Neyite

Are you sure that its not just being a typical two year old?:) Lots of toddlers who usually would be compliant and placid start testing their boundaries around that age, being more defiant, or doing stuff to get a reaction.

Or, have there been big changes in her life lately - a change in childcare arrangements, a new house/ sibling? Sometimes those big events can cause behaviour blips.

Either way, age-appropriate discipline is what you'll need, and it will be a marathon rather than a sprint, if you know what I mean. I don't think that you've spoiled her, its more likely that that all toddlers that age are like that. Please don't think it's anything you've done. It's a normal transition from babyhood.

There are lots of ways you can decide to discipline - positive reinforcement, naughty step, time out etc, and some will work better with your child's personality than other methods, some methods you wont be comfortable using - you'll hit on the combination that works for you - there is heaps of resources on the internet to get you thinking. Consistency between the parents will help a lot too, so you and your partner will need to agree. It will be much more stressful if one lets her away with murder and the other is always the disciplinarian. I mean, its ok if one of you would be stricter, but not ok if you are in the middle of disciplining and your partner undermines or contradicts you.

I'm reading 'No Bad Kids' by Janet Lansbury at the moment, not far into it yet, but I'm always interested in ways that I can figure out my 3 year old's behaviour and find a way to diffuse a situation. I've read up a bit on positive reinforcement, read about gentle parenting, watched heaps of supernanny, read a lot of blogs, done the glitter time out bottle, you name it!

A lot of naughty behaviour from my toddler was just before naps, so by recognising earlier when he is tired, and doing some quiet time activities then, I dodged some meltdowns. Other things like running away from me in public, I tried everything but the only thing that worked was abandoning the outing and going straight home. Now we go out, I tell him how many shops we need to go to and promise a treat at the end for him. He knows if he plays up, we go straight home. Other times, those methods don't work. He's gone through a phase of drawing on the walls, so I made him help me scrub it off and that seemed to get through to him better than the telling off he got the other times. Or sometimes just getting down to his level, and acknowledging the cause of his upset "I know you don't want to go to crèche today, I'd like to stay home too but we have to go, I have to go to work" a cuddle and a promise of doing something nice that evening is all he needs. But I'm still learning on the job!

Cunning Stunt

Same issue here with our little guy who has just turned 2 and got a new sibling so its a double whammy! We have learned to pick our battles with him. Some minor things we will ignore or let go., but things like screaming when told not to or otherwise deliberately defying us mean a two min time out sitting on the 'naughty mat', which we found eaaier for him than a naughty step. Some days he doesnt need to go on it at all. Other days hes in and out to it all the time! But it does work, he wont repeat the same behaviour afterwards. The Jo Frost. Com site explains how to do the naughty step thing. Always remember cuddles afterwards!

blondchick

Have four kids, 15,13,10 & 7 and while it is incorrect and now illegal a short slap on the hand was worth an hour of timeouts!

Mink

We use the naughty step (Super nanny/Jo Frost) thing but we call it bold chair. We only use it when we are sure he's just being downright bold, pushing boundaries too much (ie; not tired/hungry/ not enough exercise/ sick etc).

We follow the exact instructions and that way we can both be consistent when doing it. We find it calms everything down and we rarely have to do it (maybe once a month).

But there are times where he's just going through a phase of being an absolute [EMAIL="b@ll1x"]b@ll1x[/EMAIL] and we have to do bold chair a bit more.

Not for everyone but works for us.