Simple things you can't do/don't understand

longshanks

Computer programming. It seems easy enough, but deadly boring. If I gave it a whirl I'd probably something something something

Sam Kade

JupiterKid wrote: »

I can't whistle.

Simple, take out your false teeth

Sam Kade

pgj2015 wrote: »

you use them when its foggy:)

He/she was taking the p1ss out of fools that always have theirs on

ziggy

This post has been deleted.

DanielODonnell

Reverse into parking spaces, parking in tight spaced car parks in general. During driving lessns you never got to learn properly as you just used empty car parks

Sam Kade

Colser wrote: »

I cant reverse my car in a straight line unless I go really slowly and even then its a struggle,if someones watching Im even worse.:o

I can reverse any car at speed just using rear view and wing mirrors I can't understand why people have to open their drivers door and crane their neck back to reverse :rolleyes:

Doctor Jimbob

Ciderswigger wrote: »

A not able to fry an egg post baffles you but the shoe laces post doesn't? :P:D

I usually just make a balls of it. Like above, I'm probably just rushing and not letting the oil get hot enough.

I'm a bit tipsy, could have missed that post :pac:

Could be using a bad frying pan too, once you've used a decent one you'll never look back!

Ally Dick

I don't understand people who suffer from premature ejac.........nevermind......

Colser

Sam Kade wrote: »

I can reverse any car at speed just using rear view and wing mirrors I can't understand why people have to open their drivers door and crane their neck back to reverse :rolleyes:

Well I dont do that and no prob with parking spaces but if I meet a car and we cant pass each other I will sit it out and act the brazen bitch but in reality Im ashamed of my zig zag reversing.:pac:

callaway92

tomwaterford wrote: »

Low self esteem??

Yeh, that's half it I'd say. Exaggeration goes into that too.

Zymurgist

I can't throw with my left hand.... Right hand is fine I can throw a ball for the dog, skim a stone across the top of the water.

Left hand throw just ends up looking like a clumsy mess

blackbox

Facebook

Everything about it is a mystery. The fact that I can't see any value in it kind of demotivates me from trying to figure how it works and what the jargon means.

.

Junkyard Tom

Can't throw darts to save my life.

tom_k

1. I can't reverse a single axle trailer.

2. I can't tell the difference between Tom Sizemore and Michael Madsen.

In my life thus far, 1. has caused me much more annoyance and embarrassment than 2.

AppleBottle

I can't pronounce words ending in "ularly" properly, so like "regularly", "particularly"

Peregrine

Up until recently, I didn't know the difference between V and W. I used to put in Ws for Vs when saying some words. Especially if it's the first letter. Wiolet etc.

osarusan

Peregrine wrote: »

Up until recently, I didn't know the difference between V and W. I used to put in Ws for Vs in some words. Especially if it's the first letter. Wiolet etc.

Do you come from a central or East European country or something like that?

Quite common to confuse them in that case.

Medusa22

Peregrine wrote: »

Up until recently, I didn't know the difference between V and W. I used to put in Ws for Vs in some words. Especially if it's the first letter. Wiolet etc.

Perhaps you're of German descent

fussyonion

I don't know how to do loads of stuff car-related.

I wouldn't know when or how to change the oil.
How am I meant to know when that's supposed to be done?
I don't know how to change the washer fluid....or where the compartment is.

I don't know how to pop the bonnet open or where my fog lights are.
I shouldn't really be on the roads, I suppose, but my other half takes care of all that.

I rarely get petrol (he does) and when I do, I make sure I drive up to the pump on the correct side and I often have trouble closing the petrol cap.
You have to use a key and turn it at the same time and sometimes I can't close it.

I often wonder how I passed my driving test first time.
If I resat it, I'd fail miserably.
I've never driven on the M50 in my 8 years of driving.

I can't find my way around most of Dublin.
I once asked a guy (while on Trinity Street): "Which way do I go for Grafton Street?", to which he replied: "Are you Irish?!".

I can't get my head around Blanchardstown being on the Northside; somehow I've always thought it was on the Southside.

I cannot cook steak; it's always tough. My other half is fab at cooking steak.

I can't whistle. I can't swim. I can't change a plug. I wouldn't know how to put up shelves.

All in all, I'm hopeless!

Disclaimer: I am female.

Peregrine

osarusan wrote: »

Do you come from a central or East European country or something like that?

Quite common to confuse them in that case.

Medusa22 wrote: »

Perhaps you're of German descent

Neither but English wasn't my first language. I guess that little piece of basic pronunciation got left behind somewhere along my learning!

Sam Kade

Ally Dick wrote: »

I don't understand people who suffer from premature ejac.........nevermind......

That's easy, it's all in the mind just think you are doing something else or else choke the turkey beforehand.

cgill

I can't blow a bubble with chewing gum.

fussyonion

cgill wrote: »

I can't blow a bubble with chewing gum.

That's cos you're meant to blow bubbles with bubble gum.

Hehe, I nearly typed "...you're meant to blow Buble's".

Sam Kade

Colser wrote: »

Well I dont do that and no prob with parking spaces but if I meet a car and we cant pass each other I will sit it out and act the brazen bitch but in reality Im ashamed of my zig zag reversing.:pac:

Fair play to you for admitting it

cgill

fussyonion wrote:

That's cos you're meant to blow bubbles with bubble gum.

Whoops meant to type bubble gum, can't do it either way.

RFOLEY1990

I can't tie someone else's tie or shoe laces from the front

Colser

Zymurgist wrote: »

I can't throw with my left hand.... Right hand is fine I can throw a ball for the dog, skim a stone across the top of the water.

Left hand throw just ends up looking like a clumsy mess

I can skim a stone but if I just go to throw a stone in the water it usually ends up behind me.

wyndham

fussyonion wrote: »

I can't get my head around Blanchardstown being on the Northside;

It's not. It's West Dublin.

kfallon

I can't understand how I've eaten so much shíte and drank so much over the last week or so and I've not felt ill once!

koolis02

Putting the duvet in the duvet cover

desbrook

wyndham wrote: »

It's not. It's West Dublin.

Every part of mainland Dublin is northside or southside of the Liffey. Even West Dublin is divided..

Peregrine

koolis02 wrote: »

Putting the duvet in the duvet cover

I often end up going inside the duvet cover trying to fix the corners.

My last full-body expedition into a duvet cover lasted 10-15 gruelling minutes.

kfallon

Peregrine wrote: »

I often end up going inside the duvet cover trying to fix the corners.

Is that not what everyone does?

Corkgirl18

I have absolutely terrible spatial awareness and find it difficult telling my left from my right so driving with me is always an experience :P

I also have no tickles. Anywhere. People find that weird

Notoldorwise

Find something on Irish TV channels to watch this Christmas that is acceptable for our kids and ourselves (that isn't a film)

kfallon

Corkgirl18 wrote: »

I also have no tickles. Anywhere. People find that weird

I have the worst tickles, Christ hate it, if someone tries to tickle me it's like I'm having some kind of seizure trying to wiggle out of it!

maudgonner

I cannot raise just one eyebrow. It's neither or both - if I try to look quizzical it comes out as surprised or alarmed instead.

My Roger Moore impersonations have suffered terribly

starry_eyed

fussyonion wrote: »

I don't know how to do loads of stuff car-related.

I wouldn't know when or how to change the oil.
How am I meant to know when that's supposed to be done?
I don't know how to change the washer fluid....or where the compartment is.

I don't know how to pop the bonnet open or where my fog lights are.
I shouldn't really be on the roads, I suppose, but my other half takes care of all that.

I rarely get petrol (he does) and when I do, I make sure I drive up to the pump on the correct side and I often have trouble closing the petrol cap.
You have to use a key and turn it at the same time and sometimes I can't close it.

I often wonder how I passed my driving test first time.
If I resat it, I'd fail miserably.
I've never driven on the M50 in my 8 years of driving.

I can't find my way around most of Dublin.
I once asked a guy (while on Trinity Street): "Which way do I go for Grafton Street?", to which he replied: "Are you Irish?!".

I can't get my head around Blanchardstown being on the Northside; somehow I've always thought it was on the Southside.

I cannot cook steak; it's always tough. My other half is fab at cooking steak.

I can't whistle. I can't swim. I can't change a plug. I wouldn't know how to put up shelves.

All in all, I'm hopeless!

Disclaimer: I am female.

It'll be in your car manual in the glovebox.

Notoldorwise

fussyonion wrote: »

I don't know how to do loads of stuff car-related.

I wouldn't know when or how to change the oil.
How am I meant to know when that's supposed to be done?
I don't know how to change the washer fluid....or where the compartment is.

I don't know how to pop the bonnet open or where my fog lights are.
I shouldn't really be on the roads, I suppose, but my other half takes care of all that.

I rarely get petrol (he does) and when I do, I make sure I drive up to the pump on the correct side and I often have trouble closing the petrol cap.
You have to use a key and turn it at the same time and sometimes I can't close it.

I often wonder how I passed my driving test first time.
If I resat it, I'd fail miserably.
I've never driven on the M50 in my 8 years of driving.

I can't find my way around most of Dublin.
I once asked a guy (while on Trinity Street): "Which way do I go for Grafton Street?", to which he replied: "Are you Irish?!".

I can't get my head around Blanchardstown being on the Northside; somehow I've always thought it was on the Southside.

I cannot cook steak; it's always tough. My other half is fab at cooking steak.

I can't whistle. I can't swim. I can't change a plug. I wouldn't know how to put up shelves.

All in all, I'm hopeless!

Disclaimer: I am female.

Great post 😆😆
None of us are perfect. If your OH gives you as much credit as you give him, happy days..

Canard

I never let the oil heat up much before I fry eggs and it's always been fine... But now that I know, if I don't do it I'll mess it up. :pac:

I can't draw at all. I'm actually smart and very good at the things I am good at, but I still draw stick people. I have a really sharp memory for things I've read, very visual like, but if I'm not looking at an image I find it hard to picture it in any real detail. The other day I was thinking of swastikas of all things (no idea why) and realised that if I were asked to draw one, I wouldn't know how! I'm just thankful it's not really a necessary skill to be able to draw, people always think I'm taking the piss :P

Ficheall

kfallon wrote: »

Is that not what everyone does?

Turn the cover inside out, stick your hands into the corners furthest away from you, grab two adjacent corners of the duvet and hold onto them while you wriggle the duvet cover down your arms and over the duvet. Magic.


I can't light a fire either

Irish Guitarist

I never learned how to cycle a bike.

maudgonner

Ficheall wrote: »

Turn the cover inside out, stick your hands into the corners furthest away from you, grab two adjacent corners of the duvet and hold onto them while you wriggle the duvet cover down your arms and over the duvet. Magic.

Magic in theory. My experience normally goes more like: stick your hands into the duvet searching for the corners furthest away from you. Find one. struggle to find the other. Drop the first corner while searching. Curse. Find first corner again. Find second corner. Realise that's not the adjacent corner. Curse. Drop the first corner in your frustration. Curse and kick something. Repeat until by chance you happen upon the correct two corners. Rejoice.

Repeat a similar process to grab the corners of the duvet. Proceed to shake the duvet-cover-combo until the cover wriggles its way down. Shake and shake and shake again. Much dropping and cursing will ensue. Also breakage of anything within a 20m radius and likely bodily injury. God forbid children or small animals should get in the way - carnage.

Ciderswigger

^ Mine goes like this: stick your hands into the duvet searching for the corners furthest away from you. Then get ridiculously hot, have a mini panic attack about getting trapped in a duvet cover. Wonder what the headline will be when they find your dead body inside said cover at the foot of your bed. Wriggle around, come back out, take a deep breath and decide you don't need a cover after all.

Peregrine

kfallon wrote: »

Is that not what everyone does?

Ficheall wrote: »

Turn the cover inside out, stick your hands into the corners furthest away from you, grab two adjacent corners of the duvet and hold onto them while you wriggle the duvet cover down your arms and over the duvet. Magic.


I can't light a fire either

That's not what I do

Grab two corners of the duvet, stuff it into the duvet case and try to match the two corners with the corners of the case. Swear a lot. Drop it. Realise that the corners of the duvet you picked were corners of the longer side. Start again.

I often end up inside the duvet case. All 6 foot of me.

Ciderswigger

Peregrine wrote: »

Realise that the corners you had were the corners of the longer side.

I bloody HATE that!!!

Doctor Jimbob

Ficheall wrote: »

Turn the cover inside out, stick your hands into the corners furthest away from you, grab two adjacent corners of the duvet and hold onto them while you wriggle the duvet cover down your arms and over the duvet. Magic.

This. Takes a while to master it but once you do you're the king/queen of making the bed.

Peregrine wrote: »

That's not what I do

Grab two corners of the duvet, stuff it into the duvet case and try to match the two corners with the corners of the case. Swear a lot. Drop it. Realise that the corners of the duvet you picked were corners of the longer side. Start again.

I often end up inside the duvet case. All 6 foot of me.

Used to do this as well, my girlfriend at the time would laugh every time I attempted it

Vowel Movement

I get knife and fork mixed up.

stesaurus

I fell off a bike on my first lesson. My second lesson my Dad 'promised' he wouldn't let go, he lied and I fell again. I never got on a bike again and so never learned to cycle.
Same with swimming. Had a little fright and gave up.
I finally mastered tying shoe laces about 5 years ago. Before that I had learned my own weird way of knotting them and just tucking the laces in. Still flummoxed if asked to tie someone else's laces though.
Twitter is another one but that's just because I couldn't be arsed.

fleet_admiral

Wolf Whistle