Best way to meet someone offline

thattequilagirl

Right guys, I'm 27/F, and just moved home after six years abroad. I've done the whole Tinder thing and other online options, but I'm wondering what is the best way to meet someone the old fashioned way? My four best friends are two couples in long-term relationships, so when we go out it's not an 'on the pull' scenario.

I'd really like to meet someone but just not sure how to go about it. Maybe a new hobby?

me_irl

Well, not being online would be the main thing.

But really? Join a local class in <insert interest here>.

magicmushroom

Yep. Def sounds like a cliché but joining clubs etc really is the only way to do it!

You can meet guys in bars as you know, but it's unlikely to result in more than a drunken snog...no thanks!

I met one of my best friends through a 'gig buddy' type thing and I also made friends through going to my local running club.
I also went to a few hiking days and met new people there.

Menas

Become former supermodel and marry a billionaire like Jerry Hall?

Have you tried Tinder in airplane mode

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Have you tried Tinder in airplane mode

:pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac:

I laughed way too hard at this :pac:

EndaHonesty

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Right guys, I'm 27/F, and just moved home after six years abroad. I've done the whole Tinder thing and other online options, but I'm wondering what is the best way to meet someone the old fashioned way? My four best friends are two couples in long-term relationships, so when we go out it's not an 'on the pull' scenario.

I'd really like to meet someone but just not sure how to go about it. Maybe a new hobby?

In my opinion online is the best way to meet potential partners.
It's a numbers game though, so you might have to meet a lot of people before you meet a good match.

I think that hill-walking festivals are a good way too though.
There always seems to be a good number of single people, and in my experience hill-walking attracts decent people.

There's a good hill-walking festival in Tipperary at the end of the month, the Glen of Aherlow Winter Walking Festival.

http://www.galteewalkingclub.ie/winterfestival.html

So you can get some exercise, see interesting parts of the country, and potentially meet the guy/girl of your dreams...

Mr Freeze

thattequilagirl wrote: »

I'd really like to meet someone but just not sure how to go about it. Maybe a new hobby?

Join a running or a cycling club (if you are into that kind of thing).

Go to local races and the teas and snacks afterwards. Plenty of people there, easy to break the ice too, ye all did the race. Running clubs might be the better option, more people than cycling clubs usually.

SarahMollie

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Right guys, I'm 27/F, and just moved home after six years abroad. I've done the whole Tinder thing and other online options, but I'm wondering what is the best way to meet someone the old fashioned way? My four best friends are two couples in long-term relationships, so when we go out it's not an 'on the pull' scenario.

I'd really like to meet someone but just not sure how to go about it. Maybe a new hobby?

This is tough. We have this situation in our friendship group. As well intentioned as we are, those of us in coupled make crap wing women.

I know you've said you tried Tinder, but I've heard of a lot more success using POF (including personally, going out with himself over 2 years now )

New hobby is always a good thing, or maybe volunteering?

syklops

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Right guys, I'm 27/F, and just moved home after six years abroad. I've done the whole Tinder thing and other online options, but I'm wondering what is the best way to meet someone the old fashioned way? My four best friends are two couples in long-term relationships, so when we go out it's not an 'on the pull' scenario.

I'd really like to meet someone but just not sure how to go about it. Maybe a new hobby?

An on the pull scenario really only works for 1 night stands. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship with a future, avoid that type of scenario like the plague. I met my partner in work. Anyone you fancy there?

thattequilagirl

syklops wrote: »

An on the pull scenario really only works for 1 night stands. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship with a future, avoid that type of scenario like the plague. I met my partner in work. Anyone you fancy there?

Starting a new job Thursday - here's hoping!

SarahMollie

syklops wrote: »

An on the pull scenario really only works for 1 night stands. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship with a future, avoid that type of scenario like the plague. I met my partner in work. Anyone you fancy there?

Note of caution on this one. Not that its not an absolutely viable way to meet someone (if you work somewhere with lots of nice men) but in my office, two of the newbies who joined about 8 months ago got together on their training course. They're both well liked as individuals, but I know their coupley behavior in the office at times rubs people up the wrong way (they're oblivious). They had a bit of a domestic at the christmas party, which was at least hilarious for everyone else so I suppose there is some upside! Also, they're now looking at moving in together so will essentially be together 24/7 - I honestly don't know what they'll have left to talk about.

Dont be that girl!

Figbiscuithead

I've met boyfriends on nights out in pubs and also through friends of friends, house parties. Plenty of people meet their partners on nights out - some have more luck than others...like anything, really.

121 Gigawatts!?

I find gigs are good for meeting people too. Everyone is in a good mood and all there to see the same band. Theres a common interest there to break the ice.

syklops

SarahMollie wrote: »

Dont be that girl!

By "Dont be that girl", I assume you mean, don't be that nauseating lovey-dovey couple.

SarahMollie

syklops wrote: »

By "Dont be that girl", I assume you mean, don't be that nauseating lovey-dovey couple.

Oh yes! I didnt want to say don't be that couple, as there is no BF yet

syklops

SarahMollie wrote: »

Oh yes! I didnt want to say don't be that couple, as there is no BF yet

Ok, because it sounded like you were saying don't look for a partner in work.

SarahMollie

syklops wrote: »

Ok, because it sounded like you were saying don't look for a partner in work.

THB - it woundnt be my first choice of places to look, because personally I need my own space and don't think it would agree with me to see someone all day and then again in the evenings. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.

Granted it works for some people, but I'd always say to make sure its someone you really like if you go for it. In my last job, there was a girl who dated 4 successive lads in our office and after a while it just looked like a bit of a pattern, and not great for her. Other work relationships, the people didn't have such "form" for dating in the office were looked on more favorably I think.

Anyway, ramble over, but basically I think if you're going to date in work (or make said dating public knowledge) then you'd want to really like them and think the relationship stood a decent chance.

The Backwards Man

Do they still do the personal ads in the Farmer's Journal?

syklops

syklops wrote: »

An on the pull scenario really only works for 1 night stands.

"on the pull" if you're looking for a 1 night stand.

I know people who have met in the pub/in a nightclub who are married or getting married or in long term happy relationships.

I would be very hesitant about getting together with someone for work for more than a one night stand.

biko

Join a computer club.

whiskeyman

I joined a font enthusiasts club and met someone special.

















She's just my type

SarahMollie

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Do they still do the personal ads in the Farmer's Journal?

You could take a day trip with some friends to the Ploughing Championships in the summer! Plenty of eligible bachelors I'd say, and it sounds like a hilarious day out, something random and different if you're used to being a city dweller.

biko

The Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival is on in September.

Pac1Man

whiskeyman wrote: »

I joined a font enthusiasts club and met someone special.

Was that Lucida? I heard she was bold.

syklops

Deleted User wrote: »

I would be very hesitant about getting together with someone for work for more than a one night stand.

I'd be the exact opposite.

thattequilagirl

thattequilagirl wrote: »

I'd really like to meet someone but just not sure how to go about it. Maybe a new hobby?

I guess it would depend on what makes you - you. I got into my current relationship - and also a lot of my current friendships - by starting pre-gig meet up groups for the music I liked.

And I did that because I wanted to - not expressly as a way to meet girls.

I know people who met online - and people off line - I know people who met in pubs and night clubs - I even know of two people who met in a car crash they had! It can happen anywhere any time.

So what makes you YOU - what do you actually _like_ doing or seeing or engaging with?

UrbanSprawl

121 Gigawatts!? wrote: »

I find gigs are good for meeting people too. Everyone is in a good mood and all there to see the same band. Theres a common interest there to break the ice.

gigonometry com :cool:

c_man

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Do they still do the personal ads in the Farmer's Journal?

OP should also check out the personals on Aertel.

beks101

Start training for a marathon/half-marathon/10k/triathlon and join a training support group. Friend of mine set up a Tough Mudder training group via Craigslist and met her OH there, they're together years.

Ask your coupled up mates if they have any nice single friends. Or to invite you along to any nights out with their other mates they might be having.

Go to everything. Say yes to every invite you get. There'll probably be lots of opportunities with the new job. Go to all the work do's and drinks and nights out and once you're comfortable, organize a few of your own. Befriend everyone.

Any New Years resolutions like to get fit or learn a new language? Start an evening class.

Become more active socially. Meet up with your mates as often as possible, follow up on that coffee you've been promising with that girl/guy for bloody years. Most of my exes I met through friends, once you're socially engaged you just never know when a house party will crop up or a trip away or night out or friend of a friend walks through the door and bob's yer uncle.

Stay open-minded. My best mate is with her OH a year, a guy she's known for at least a decade and just never even thought about in that way. He chased her, she gave it a shot for the hell of it and she's never been happier. Don't write people off even if they don't seem like 'your type' without giving them a decent chance

King George VI

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Right guys, I'm 27/F, and just moved home after six years abroad. I've done the whole Tinder thing and other online options, but I'm wondering what is the best way to meet someone the old fashioned way? My four best friends are two couples in long-term relationships, so when we go out it's not an 'on the pull' scenario.

I'd really like to meet someone but just not sure how to go about it. Maybe a new hobby?

I dunno, I met my SO in a pub while pissed off my head. But I've had no problem meeting women in non-drinking scenarios before. I've gotten dates just by striking up a conversation with the cashier at the supermarket or something like that. Once you're confident and don't seem too eager people become pretty receptive to you.

Take up a hobby, go out with your coupled friends and see what other friends they have, start yoga, go to gigs, wait patiently at the airport for men who's terminal 2 proposal failed, stalk your ex, buy one online from middle-east Asia. All of those things are good.

Penny Dreadful

SarahMollie wrote: »

THB - it woundnt be my first choice of places to look, because personally I need my own space and don't think it would agree with me to see someone all day and then again in the evenings. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.

Granted it works for some people, but I'd always say to make sure its someone you really like if you go for it. .

It depends on where you work and how big the organisation is. I met my husband at work, there are over 2500 employees here. We moved in together and got married and I was expecting our first baby when he changed to a different job.
In some ways it is nicer that we don't work in exactly the same place but overall it didn't make any major difference. We have totally different jobs and never overlapped in a work sense. We also made a deliberate decision not to have coffee breaks or lunch breaks together either so when we got home in the evening it was nice to see each other as we'd been apart all day.
Some other couples here at work spend all of their free time together, coffee breaks, lunch breaks, travel to and from work together, etc. That woldn't be for me but it seems to work for them.

syklops

syklops wrote: »

I'd be the exact opposite.

Don't get me wrong, you'd want to be full sure you both knew what it was and that you were walking away with just slightly more pep in your step the next day and no desire to take it anywhere else. With a "relationship" in work you've no idea where or when it might end so that could get messy very very quickly IMO.

Each to their own though of course, and many a couple met through work and lived happily ever after, so it works for some. I would just be one to avoid such a thing if possible.

There have been of course many intentional one night stand that turned into more too

SarahMollie

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

It depends on where you work and how big the organisation is. I met my husband at work, there are over 2500 employees here. We moved in together and got married and I was expecting our first baby when he changed to a different job.
In some ways it is nicer that we don't work in exactly the same place but overall it didn't make any major difference. We have totally different jobs and never overlapped in a work sense. We also made a deliberate decision not to have coffee breaks or lunch breaks together either so when we got home in the evening it was nice to see each other as we'd been apart all day.
Some other couples here at work spend all of their free time together, coffee breaks, lunch breaks, travel to and from work together, etc. That woldn't be for me but it seems to work for them.

True of course, different ppl handle it differently. The couple in my office sit less than ten yards apart and hang around each other constantly. In previous jobs I've seen examples of both.

There was another annoying couple in my last job. They girl used to have lunch with a group of us (about 6 girls used to go for lunch together every day). Needless to say we were quickly dropped like hot potatoes, and on the rare occasion she came for lunch, she'd only talk about him, and some of it was TMI, because he's my colleague also. One day she told us (totally unprompted) that sometimes Ben likes to be the little spoon.

I nearly lost my lunch.

SarahMollie

beks101 wrote: »

Stay open-minded. My best mate is with her OH a year, a guy she's known for at least a decade and just never even thought about in that way. He chased her, she gave it a shot for the hell of it and she's never been happier. Don't write people off even if they don't seem like 'your type' without giving them a decent chance

This x1000

I've a friend who is single and I'm convinced its because she writes people off too easily. She comes up with reasons to say no, yet claims to desperately want a relationship. I think you have to give ppl a chance, you never know how things will work out.

Everlong1

Don't know if anyone has mentioned this already, but I would hugely recommend Meetup.com

Yes, it is an online organisation but it's not a dating site as such. There are meet up groups for every interest and age group under the sun and you're guaranteed to meet lovely people with a genuine common interest. Some of these people will be looking to meet a partner and you can take advantage of that or leave it as you see fit.

I myself have been on the market for some time now and have met some lovely people through meet ups. Some I've dated but I've also made plenty of platonic friends.

Everlong1

SarahMollie wrote: »

One day she told us (totally unprompted) that sometimes Ben likes to be the little spoon.

I'm no virgin, and I'm familiar with the overall concept of "spooning" as in cuddling up to your beloved under the sheets...but I have no idea what this means.

Maximus Alexander

I've a number of friends who've had great success with Plenty of Fish (couple of long term relationships). With regard to offline, the only thing for it is to pick up some social hobbies.

There must be something that you've thought in the back of your mind "I'd like to [learn to do / do more of] that". Well, you can! Maybe you think archery is cool and want to try it, maybe you're secretly into skateboarding, perhaps badminton is your thing, or a drama club, or football, tag rugby, hiking, running, basket weaving, Dungeons & Dragons, I dunno. But the best way to meet a partner is to meet new people over a shared interest - so get out there and do new stuff.

osarusan

Everlong1 wrote: »

I'm no virgin, and I'm familiar with the overall concept of "spooning" as in cuddling up to your beloved under the sheets...but I have no idea what this means.

The little spoon is the one who is being held by the other.

EDIT: (I think, but if she 'nearly lost her lunch', maybe not?)

SarahMollie

Everlong1 wrote: »

I'm no virgin, and I'm familiar with the overall concept of "spooning" as in cuddling up to your beloved under the sheets...but I have no idea what this means.

LOL

Its nothing graphic, just cuddling, but I suppose its customary for the girl to be little spoon (the one being cuddled) as normally smaller/shorter etc, and the man being the big spoon (the one doing the cuddling) as its seen as manly and protective.

I was just saying that she'd come out with all this stuff about her BF that would be grand if I didnt know him, but then I'd have to work with him myself later on, and to be honest, I just didnt want to know about their spooning preferences!

*there were many other examples of this, but this one just stuck out to be on account of it being quite ridiculous.

Maximus Alexander

I like to be the little spoon sometimes. Nothing wrong with that, sure we're all equal.

I always like to be the little spoon.

Unless I'm hungover and have no human spoons, then my dog gets to be the little spoon.

SarahMollie

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

I like to be the little spoon sometimes. Nothing wrong with that.

Absolutely grand, but in a professional context, I don't want to know!

Also, there was quite the height differential with this pair, she was only about 5'3, and he's over 6ft, so the whole logistics of it all are just ridic.

SarahMollie

osarusan wrote: »

The little spoon is the one who is being held by the other.

EDIT: (I think, but if she 'nearly lost her lunch', maybe not?)

Occasionally prone to Hyperbole

Saipanne

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Right guys, I'm 27/F, and just moved home after six years abroad. I've done the whole Tinder thing and other online options, but I'm wondering what is the best way to meet someone the old fashioned way? My four best friends are two couples in long-term relationships, so when we go out it's not an 'on the pull' scenario.

I'd really like to meet someone but just not sure how to go about it. Maybe a new hobby?

Join an amateur theatre group?

121 Gigawatts!?

Any PM's yet OP?

beks101

I think everyone should get the experience of being the little spoon. It's awesome.

I love spoonage

maudgonner

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Do they still do the personal ads in the Farmer's Journal?

Three words for you.

Knock. Marriage. Bureau.

ScumLord

beks101 wrote: »

I think everyone should get the experience of being the little spoon. It's awesome.

I love spoonage

What about spatulas, where do they fit in?

ScumLord

ScumLord wrote: »

What about spatulas, where do they fit in?

Depends on the size of the spatula

ScumLord

Deleted User wrote: »

Depends on the size of the spatula

It's long and flat, and slightly frazzled at the end. You know, spatula shaped.