Best way to meet someone offline

Hammer89

biko wrote: »

Join a computer club.

Agreed. Then you'd only have blow-up dolls and Fleshlights as your competition.

syklops

Hammer89 wrote: »

Agreed. Then you'd only have blow-up dolls and Fleshlights as your competition.

I seem to have stepped back into a joke from the 80s.

Hammer89

I thought it was funny.

recylingbin

Go to mass with a chaperone in a nice summer frock.

Thundercats Ho

I'm almost having a panic attack at the thought of being the little spoon.

SarahMollie

What have I done!

weldoninhio

I'm in the same boat pretty much. All my friends are coupled up and getting married and having kids. It's not as easy to meet people because 1) it's hard to find anyone who's up for going out and 2) a lot of social occasions these days are dinner in a friends house and a few drinks there afterwards.

It's horrible and you don't notice it sneaking up on you until it's too late. I'm only 33, but I wouldn't head into town on a night out alone. I'm sure women would find it odd too if in conversation it came out that I was in the pub/club alone.

RainyDay

It's a great time to join a political party, if you have any interest in such matters. Find the one nearest your value system, and you'll meet loads of people over the next couple of months.

SarahMollie

weldoninhio wrote: »

I'm in the same boat pretty much. All my friends are coupled up and getting married and having kids. It's not as easy to meet people because 1) it's hard to find anyone who's up for going out and 2) a lot of social occasions these days are dinner in a friends house and a few drinks there afterwards.

It's horrible and you don't notice it sneaking up on you until it's too late. I'm only 33, but I wouldn't head into town on a night out alone. I'm sure women would find it odd too if in conversation it came out that I was in the pub/club alone.

This makes me sad, because there's one single girl in our group and I think she's in the same boat. She's just not going to meet anyone hanging around with couples all the time.

Have you tried online? I met my bf on POF, so its not all about the pub tho.

Have you ever asked your friends if they know someone who they could set you up with?

SarahMollie

RainyDay wrote: »

It's a great time to join a political party, if you have any interest in such matters. Find the one nearest your value system, and you'll meet loads of people over the next couple of months.

This is a good plan actually. I think it crossed my mind way back when, I just didnt actually do it for whatever reason.

I've a friend who is very involved with FG and she met her OH through the party. They just got engaged at new years.

weldoninhio

SarahMollie wrote: »

This makes me sad, because there's one single girl in our group and I think she's in the same boat. She's just not going to meet anyone hanging around with couples all the time.

Have you tried online? I met my bf on POF, so its not all about the pub tho.

Have you ever asked your friends if they know someone who they could set you up with?

I'm on POF, but it's weighted about 5 guys to every 1 girl on there. My friends all share the same mates. All from the same town in Co Dublin. It's very frustrating.

I went out with some lovely girls when I was younger but at the time I was struggling badly with undiagnosed depression, so anytime anyone got close I'd push them away. Fast forward a few years and I'm in a much better place and don't even get out to meet anyone.

It's very difficult to meet someone. I've joined meetup groups in the past, I have a fairly good social life and go out with single friends for a few drinks at the weekend. I never ever get approached by a man. I had a POF and an okcupid account in the past. I've since deleted them and resigned myself to a life of spinsterdom. At almost 34 I'm practically over the hill anyway. As soon as my grey hairs reappear I might as well leave them be.

SarahMollie

weldoninhio wrote: »

I'm on POF, but it's weighted about 5 guys to every 1 girl on there. My friends all share the same mates. All from the same town in Co Dublin. It's very frustrating.

I went out with some lovely girls when I was younger but at the time I was struggling badly with undiagnosed depression, so anytime anyone got close I'd push them away. Fast forward a few years and I'm in a much better place and don't even get out to meet anyone.

Apologies Weldoninhio, I'd assumed you were female for some reason. Online dating is definitely harder for men in terms of the numbers but I wouldn't give up hope all together. Maybe get someone you trust to give your profile the once over just to make sure you're maximising your chances. For the brief period of time I was on it, I was definitely more attracted to a profile that stood out from the crowd for having some good clear pictures, that was well written and actually told me something about the person.

Other than that, it sounds like it might be worth your while branching out. Small towns must be very frustrating if you're single. You could look at joining a club or society thats based in the city center and meet people from all over? Or there are park runs all over the place now - maybe do a park run in a park outside your area.

Any single women I know always are moaning about not meeting any single men, so they're definitely out there!

PARlance

SarahMollie wrote: »

This is a good plan actually. I think it crossed my mind way back when, I just didnt actually do it for whatever reason.

I've a friend who is very involved with FG and she met her OH through the party. They just got engaged at new years.

The wedding won't go ahead once they realise their relationship is built on broken promises.

SarahMollie

Deleted User wrote: »

It's very difficult to meet someone. I've joined meetup groups in the past, I have a fairly good social life and go out with single friends for a few drinks at the weekend. I never ever get approached by a man. I had a POF and an okcupid account in the past. I've since deleted them and resigned myself to a life of spinsterdom. At almost 34 I'm practically over the hill anyway. As soon as my grey hairs reappear I might as well leave them be.

Have you thought of maybe asking a very trusted friend for their honest opinion? There could be something holding you back that you're totally oblivious to and they might give you a fresh perspective.

Like maybe you have bitchy resting face but thats not reflective of your personality at all, and its just giving out the wrong vibe.

Not suggesting that you have BRF, just throwing it out there as an example!

Daisy78

Some here might disagree with but ime guys (around the late twenties to early forties bracket) don't tend to join groups/clubs as much as women do. Over the years I've been been a member of various different things (volunteer groups, language classes, etc), purely for interests sake not to meet somebody and I've noticed it tends to be overwhelmingly female with a few token older guys (50 plus). As regards meeting someone in a pub, I've often heard people say such and such met their partner in a bar but when you probe further it turns out that it was through mutual friends, they just happened to be introduced in a bar at the time. Honestly I would say that the best thing you can do is expand your social circle, look to make more female friends, you never know who they might introduce you to. I also wouldn't give up on the online dating option, as annoying as it is it seems to be the way a lot of couples meet nowadays. And I'd agree with giving the workplace a miss as a potential hunting ground.... far too messy.

syklops

Deleted User wrote: »

It's very difficult to meet someone. I've joined meetup groups in the past, I have a fairly good social life and go out with single friends for a few drinks at the weekend. I never ever get approached by a man. I had a POF and an okcupid account in the past. I've since deleted them and resigned myself to a life of spinsterdom. At almost 34 I'm practically over the hill anyway. As soon as my grey hairs reappear I might as well leave them be.

34 is not over the hill. You will probably meet someone when you least expect to. You will be out buying a blanket for the cat you are planning on getting to make spinsterhood official and will meet a charming man who's looking for a cushion for his Irish Setter to lie on and next thing you know it's nights together at the theatre, laughing with him during Figaro and crying with him over Tosca, sipping Merlot at the interval....

Chin up!

SarahMollie

Daisy78 wrote: »

Some here might disagree with but ime guys (around the late twenties to early forties bracket) don't tend to join groups/clubs as much as women do. Over the years I've been been a member of various different things (volunteer groups, language classes, etc), purely for interests sake not to meet somebody and I've noticed it tends to be overwhelmingly female with a few token older guys (50 plus). As regards meeting someone in a pub, I've often heard people say such and such met their partner in a bar but when you probe further it turns out that it was through mutual friends, they just happened to be introduced in a bar at the time. Honestly I would say that the best thing you can do is expand your social circle, look to make more female friends, you never know who they might introduce you to. I also wouldn't give up on the online dating option, as annoying as it is it seems to be the way a lot of couples meet nowadays. And I'd agree with giving the workplace a miss as a potential hunting ground.... far too messy.

Pretty much agree daisy, I think the odds are perhaps skewed in favour of men at that age.

I did genuinely meet 2 previous BF's while out - as in, no one I knew had ever set eyes on them before. But this was late teens and early twenties, not sure I'd fancy it now.

I think I read somewhere that 1/3 of couples are now meeting online, and the number is rising, so you just cant afford to cut off that option for yourself.

Maximus Alexander

Daisy78 wrote: »

Some here might disagree with but ime guys (around the late twenties to early forties bracket) don't tend to join groups/clubs as much as women do.

That may be true (but I would say it just depends on the type of group/club), but regardless, by doing new things you meet new people and freshen up your social circle. Even if you don't meet someone directly through the activity, you'll socialize with people you meet there and then meet their friends / siblings / coworkers / etc.

I think the main problem for people dating in their late 20s on is that their social groups tend to have stagnated, just by finding a social outlet that introduces you to new people you expand your options.

SarahMollie

SarahMollie wrote: »

Have you thought of maybe asking a very trusted friend for their honest opinion? There could be something holding you back that you're totally oblivious to and they might give you a fresh perspective.

Like maybe you have bitchy resting face but thats not reflective of your personality at all, and its just giving out the wrong vibe.

Not suggesting that you have BRF, just throwing it out there as an example!

Ah I know myself extremely well. If anything I have the complete opposite of bitchy resting face. Very engaging and lively. It will all work out

syklops

Deleted User wrote: »

Ah I know myself extremely well. If anything I have the complete opposite of bitchy resting face. Very engaging and lively. It will all work out

Then maybe you are intimidating from a "She is lovely and bubbly and probably out of my league" kind of way.

Figbiscuithead

Daisy78 wrote: »

I've often heard people say such and such met their partner in a bar but when you probe further it turns out that it was through mutual friends, they just happened to be introduced in a bar at the time.

I met two boyfriends who were complete strangers in bars and I know a good few who did too - we were all in our twenties. My point is, don't rule out bars completely, particularly when you're young. I'd say at that age a decent bar is pretty much the ideal place to meet someone. Perhaps not in small towns but definitely in cities.

Shurimgreat

Women should chat guys up more. It's the 21st century. They shouldn't be waiting for the guy to ask them to dance or whatever the modern equivalent of that is. The worst that can happen is the guy says no, and no harm in that. Most guys actually like friendly pro-active women. I know I do.

ChippingSodbury

syklops wrote: »

34 is not over the hill. You will probably meet someone when you least expect to. You will be out buying a blanket for the cat you are planning on getting to make spinsterhood official and will meet a charming man who's looking for a cushion for his Irish Setter to lie on and next thing you know it's nights together at the theatre, laughing with him during Figaro and crying with him over Tosca, sipping Merlot at the interval....while the Irish Setter chases after the cat, breaking every ornament on the fireplace at home

Chin up!

:pac:

Daisy78

Shurimgreat wrote: »

Women should chat guys up more. The worst that can happen is the guy says no, and no harm in that.

Ha! That's exactly why most women won't!

Red Kev

I think most things have been mentioned. Joining a club or meetup for something that you're interested in is the best way, this way you've a better chance of meeting someone who you'll click with. You'll also widen you're circle of friends and increase you're chances of meeting someone single.

Tinder tends to be geared towards a quickie rather than something long term IMO. Try POF, read the profiles and see what comes up. You don't need to go out on a full date, a pint or coffee will do. You may also need to meet a few people on it before it really clicks.

Gigs, festivals that attract a more mature audience are good, or if you're going to the pub then strike early before people are well plssed. Be prepared to make the first move.

Deleted User wrote: »

It's very difficult to meet someone. I've joined meetup groups in the past, I have a fairly good social life and go out with single friends for a few drinks at the weekend. I never ever get approached by a man. I had a POF and an okcupid account in the past. I've since deleted them and resigned myself to a life of spinsterdom. At almost 34 I'm practically over the hill anyway. As soon as my grey hairs reappear I might as well leave them be.

No you're not over the hill. I'm in my mid-40's and you can find love at that age. As someone said, ask a good friend for advice. Or...you could also approach a man that you fancy and chat them up instead. A lot of men (myself included) won't approach a group of women in a pub, it can be almost impossible to tell who is available and who is single. So my advice is to make the first move and see how you get on.

syklops

syklops wrote: »

Then maybe you are intimidating from a "She is lovely and bubbly and probably out of my league" kind of way.

Yep this is exactly why. My amazingness scares them all away

doc11

Johnny Carson wrote: »

I dunno, I met my SO in a pub while pissed off my head. But I've had no problem meeting women in non-drinking scenarios before. I've gotten dates just by striking up a conversation with the cashier at the supermarket or something like that. Once you're confident good looking/pretty and don't seem too eager people become pretty receptive to you.

Corrected that for you. Honestly if you're a below average looking male you'll be classed as creepy rather then romantic trying to chat up a cashier etc out of the blue. A confident ugly person won't be long losing it(confidence) under your scenario.

syklops

syklops wrote: »

34 is not over the hill. You will probably meet someone when you least expect to. You will be out buying a blanket for the cat you are planning on getting to make spinsterhood official and will meet a charming man who's looking for a cushion for his Irish Setter to lie on and next thing you know it's nights together at the theatre, laughing with him during Figaro and crying with him over Tosca, sipping Merlot at the interval....

Chin up!

I'm not really a theatre kind of girl. More dive bar. That's what it is right there. I need to be more discerning. Drinks in the Shelbourne, manicures every fortnight, that kind of thing.

stefanovich

121 Gigawatts!? wrote: »

I find gigs are good for meeting people too. Everyone is in a good mood and all there to see the same band. Theres a common interest there to break the ice.

It's difficult to have a conversation in a mosh pit.