Driving behind a Funeral etiquette

seamus

homerjay2005 wrote: »

the family of the deceased ended up seeing him coming and pulled out to stop him

Why in the name of stuttering fnck did they do that? Sounds like they made the situation bad themselves tbh. They could have let him overtake and it would have been a non-issue.

MrMorooka wrote: »

I don't understand, what is offensive about driving past a funeral cavalcade? I was genuinely not aware it was considered disrespectful by some. I don't drive, but if I did, I would probably just overtake when it was practical to do so, obviously not gunning the engine, and if I was coming the opposite direction I would just continue driving on without a second thought. Don't understand why people would be compelled to stop.

Old Irish traditions. Some people just love a good funeral, even if they didn't even know the person who died.

For some reason it's considered appropriate to down tools and basically join in with a funeral if you encounter one. It's bizarre.

cruizer101

It really is a strange tradition, that's not to say I don't respect it. However stopping or slowing down for a funeral coming towards you, that's a new one on me, is it a country thing.

Regarding doing what I would like others to do at my mothers funeral, I couldn't care less if people were to overtake, but I know people at other funerals do care so that doesn't make sense.

Special Circumstances

cruizer101 wrote: »

However stopping or slowing down for a funeral coming towards you, that's a new one on me, is it a country thing.

Have seen it in Limerick city too. Stop dead, excuse the pun, or pull over ASAP if possible. You wouldn't see them get out of the way of the emergency services as quick.

Fratton Fred

So tagging on behind the funeral procession to gate crash the afters isn't the done thing then.

Bummer.

J. Marston

Windows down, blast this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC86yQAzaxg

Special Circumstances

J. Marston wrote: »

Windows down, blast this...

...]

bit harsh, how about

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUO_5EALZoM

smash

haveringchick wrote: »

Then rev your engine impatiently while overtaking in an erratic manner and giving the mourners the middle finger
The parents of that dead child will just have to accept that your need to be in Tescos trumps their need for one last slow stroll with their child
Because your needs always, always trump EVERYBODY else's.
Don't they?

What NEED does a funeral have to hold up traffic or for oncoming traffic to stop for them?

ScumLord

Even I wouldn't over take a funeral. I don't see how you could safely overtake a line of 20 or 30 cars and a couple of dozen people walking.

The Backwards Man wrote: »

The graveyards are full of people with things to do and places to be.

Ya, last time I was there they were flat out, couldn't get a word in.

I hope I've got many, many journeys left to make, so I don't mind a bit of a wait while someone else makes their last.

I wouldn't overtake a funeral, it's the worst day of some families life and I'm not going to mark it in a way that makes it even worse.

The Rape of Lucretia

If its safe to overtake, do. If it isnt, dont.

The Sun King

Special Circumstances wrote: »

Have seen it in Limerick city too. Stop dead, excuse the pun, or pull over ASAP if possible. You wouldn't see them get out of the way of the emergency services as quick.

That's because they're afraid the horses drawing the carriage will get spooked and run out in front of their car...

haveringchick

smash wrote: »

What NEED does a funeral have to hold up traffic or for oncoming traffic to stop for them?

Traditionally in this part of the world, funerals move slowly
Do you honestly not know that?

KungPao

RGDATA! wrote: »

If you have one of those La Cucaracha horns, now is the time not to sound it.

smash

haveringchick wrote: »

Traditionally in this part of the world, funerals move slowly
Do you honestly not know that?

First, they don't need to move as slow as they do. Second, oncoming traffic should not be affected by them.

Your previous post regarding dead babies, revving the car and rushing to tesco etc was just obnoxious. If you want to come to a crawl then do so, but don't expect that everyone else has to, and stop making up bullsh*t scenarios just to try validate your point.

Valetta

smash wrote: »

First, they don't need to move as slow as they do. Second, oncoming traffic should not be affected by them.

Your previous post regarding dead babies, revving the car and rushing to tesco etc was just obnoxious. If you want to come to a crawl then do so, but don't expect that everyone else has to, and stop making up bullsh*t scenarios just to try validate your point.

Why does there have to be a "need"?

wexandproud

cruizer101 wrote: »

It really is a strange tradition, that's not to say I don't respect it. However stopping or slowing down for a funeral coming towards you, that's a new one on me, is it a country thing.

Regarding doing what I would like others to do at my mothers funeral, I couldn't care less if people were to overtake, but I know people at other funerals do care so that doesn't make sense.

i wouldn't say its a country thing , its more of a respect thing . something which a lot of people seem to be lacking .

haveringchick

smash wrote: »

First, they don't need to move as slow as they do. Second, oncoming traffic should not be affected by them.

Your previous post regarding dead babies, revving the car and rushing to tesco etc was just obnoxious. If you want to come to a crawl then do so, but don't expect that everyone else has to, and stop making up bullsh*t scenarios just to try validate your point.

You really should lobby your TD to try to introduce a minimum speed for mourners walking behind a hearse as it seems to irritate you so much. Traffic signs could be erected on popular routes to graveyards, people like you could tip of Gardai as to breaches of the law by ringing in car regs, supported by evidence from your dashcam.
I mean, it's not as if you'll ever be old and bereaved or anything quite so utterly pathetic as that, is it?

smash

haveringchick wrote: »

You really should lobby your TD to try to introduce a minimum speed for mourners walking behind a hearse as it seems to irritate you so much
I mean, it's not as if you'll ever be old and bereaved or anything quite so utterly pathetic as that, is it?

Idiotic post is idiotic.

heldel00

Pac1Man wrote: »

Saw one on a motorway once. I was in the overtaking lane following a few cars. Some actually pulled in behind the slower funeral convoy so they didn't have to pass it. That's a bit extreme.

My grand aunt died in Dublin years ago and I remember thinking "Jesus we'll never get to Laois at the rate."
Got out on to the motorway and didn't see her for dust! Undertaker actually had to wait at the house by himself until the rest of us got there!

haveringchick

smash wrote: »

Idiotic post is idiotic.

What does this even mean? Why have you edited out my helpful suggestion as to how your new law could be best applied?

TheChizler

wexandproud wrote: »

i wouldn't say its a country thing , its more of a respect thing . something which a lot of people seem to be lacking .

Handy to have these arbitrary rules of respect pointed out to the rest of us!

Titzon Toast

Has anyone here ever seen the Jackass episode were they were taking part in some Cannonball Run event across Europe I think it was? They came across a funeral procession, I was nearly behind the couch watching it.

wexandproud

TheChizler wrote: »

Handy to have these arbitrary rules of respect pointed out to the rest of us!

hope someone learns something from it , after all , respect is a light load to carry and if there was a bit more of it around life would be just that little bit better

Kiwi in IE

I really disliked the experience of walking behind hearse when I did it at the funeral of a close relative of OH's. Everyone stops on the side of the road and has a good gawk at you. Definitely don't want anything like to occur at my own funeral. There is also no chance that I would want to be walking down the road on public display in a complete state, if it was someone very close to me. Each to their own, but I think it's an awful tradition.

armaghlad

I like it, even if it is slightly odd. It's a nice show of solidarity to a family in mourning.

Special Circumstances

armaghlad wrote: »

I like it, even if it is slightly odd. It's a nice show of solidarity to a family in mourning.

Yes the traditional slipping of clutches to match the hearses special creeper gear.
There should at least be someone out walking if they are moving at that pace. Just don't get it if there's no one walking but they do that pace anyway.

roverrules

If there's a bit of hot totty among the mourners, follow it and gatecrash the afters. If nothing else it's a free feed.

El_Duderino 09

Ah no, think about it. Its an arbitrary convention which people are telling you they never heard of. As for it beinga country thing, I bet it's more country than urban because it would work in a small village but you can't demand that kind of 'respect' on o connelly street.

I come from a small village and my mother would know when the funeral procession was likely to be happening. 'Sure Mrs Watzit died on Monday so the funeral would be on Wednesday. Mass is at 10 on a Wednesday but funerals are a bit late on Wednesdays because Tommy the undertaker likes a few pints on a Tuesday night. But Fr Trendy does Wednesday and he does a quick mass and there won't be too many sympathisers shaking hands after the mass so OBVIOUSLY the funeral will be passing through the village at 11.45.

It would take a fair bit of inside knowledge to know when to avoid a funeral.

It might have made sense to do it years ago when roads when roads a few horse drawn carts but it's an outdated convention now.

c_man

I can't believe people would actually overtake one.

seamus wrote: »

For some reason it's considered appropriate to down tools and basically join in with a funeral if you encounter one. It's bizarre.

Worked in a pub near a church once, we always had to close the curtains when a funeral procession was leaving. I dunno how widespread a thing that is but if you forgot to do so, boy did you hear about it :eek:

AudreyHepburn

You did the right thing OP, regardless of whether it was a rural or urban funeral.

It's about having sympathy and respect.

messrs

c_man wrote: »

I can't believe people would actually overtake one.



Worked in a pub near a church once, we always had to close the curtains when a funeral procession was leaving. I dunno how widespread a thing that is but if you forgot to do so, boy did you hear about it :eek:

My brother has a garage across from a church - they always know when the funeral is leaving and all lights get turned of and doors closed ect - until the funeral procession has passed

farmchoice

having read this thread i have been trying to picture what sort of person would overtake a funeral procession!!
now i appreciate that on boards there are a higher then normal percentage of people who are a bit ''different'', but still.

having thought about i think you would have to be an actual psychopath to be so lacking in normal human empathy as to consider passing out a moving funeral cortege

seamus

farmchoice wrote: »

having thought about i think you would have to be an actual psychopath to be so lacking in normal human empathy as to consider passing out a moving funeral cortege

Why?

What's the problem if you go past it quietly? Why would a mourning family give a single **** as to whether someone was overtaking a procession?

farmchoice

seamus wrote: »

Why?

What's the problem if you go past it quietly? Why would a mourning family give a single **** as to whether someone was overtaking a procession?

if you are over the age of 9 and you really don't know, if a lifetime of interacting with your fellow man in a civil society hasn't taught you instinctively why, then i doubt anything i say will make you understand.

Seanachai

I remember going to the funeral of a relative who was in a home in Enniscorthy in about 1991, the deceased was a cousin of my mother's. All six of us were packed into an 85' VW Passat, I don't think me or my brothers had ever met the man, my da possibly never met him either.

We were driving in the funeral cortege, snailing along for about five minutes and my da had two tapes in the car at the time, John Denver and The Pogues, so he puts on 'Fiesta' by The Pogues, ma was not impressed at first but then kind of had a smirk. Unless the funeral is of somebody who died young or tragically I don't get the whole solemn misery thing tbh. If I died with my boots on in my 70's they could stick me upright in the back of a twin-cam and drift down to the grave for all I care.

Pinch Flat

Each to their own I suppose. I've been in funeral processions - usually on foot, why someone would drive behind the hearse is beyond me. Unless it's miles from the church to the graveyard.

I would find it disrespectful To to pass one, but then again I've never been in some of the life or death situations by some of the previous posters that would require overtaking one.

seamus

farmchoice wrote: »

if you are over the age of 9 and you really don't know, if a lifetime of interacting with your fellow man in a civil society hasn't taught you instinctively why, then i doubt anything i say will make you understand.

So you don't know then. Is it "Tradition" or "just because"?

If you cannot explain something simple, then it's either not simple, or you don't understand it yourself.

El_Duderino 09

farmchoice wrote:

if you are over the age of 9 and you really don't know, if a lifetime of interacting with your fellow man in a civil society hasn't taught you instinctively why, then i doubt anything i say will make you understand.

With respect, you're being completely naive to everything except the culture in a wgich you were raised. Is it not obvious to you that there shouldn't be a funeral procession to the graveyard burial because there should have been a sky burial as in Tebet? Or a cremation as in Japan? Have you not lived with your fellow man?

It's an arbitrary, culturally bound, social convention. No amount of living with your fellow man would teach you that. You have to he told.

Special Circumstances

Pinch Flat wrote: »

Each to their own I suppose. I've been in funeral processions - usually on foot, why someone would drive behind the hearse is beyond me. Unless it's miles from the church to the graveyard.

8.5km according to google maps. (at least.. I was lucky enough to be able to detour at that stage)
No pedestrians, just pedestrian pace, below first gear on any car. (except a hearse with special gearing, or a 4x4 with dual range box)

But shur we are all special snowflakes to be celebrated at any inconvenience both in life and in death. Especially in death, by means of traveling really slowly in convoy.

Maybe twas an old farmer who died and they wanted to give him once more chance to hold up the general public?

c_man

If I'm walking down the street and a funeral procession passes, I'll stop until the hearse passes. What do people here do?

Special Circumstances

c_man wrote: »

If I'm walking down the street and a funeral procession passes, I'll stop until the hearse passes. What do people here do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biArkwUaURA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

seamus

c_man wrote: »

If I'm walking down the street and a funeral procession passes, I'll stop until the hearse passes. What do people here do?

It's not something I've ever encountered in Ireland, but if we were all going in the same direction, I'd probably find a shop to duck into for five minutes, or a laneway to change my route, because otherwise it would be weird.
If we were going in opposite directions, I'd just keep going.

farmchoice

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

With respect, you're being completely naive to everything except the culture in a wgich you were raised. Is it not obvious to you that there shouldn't be a funeral procession to the graveyard burial because there should have been a sky burial as in Tebet? Or a cremation as in Japan? Have you not lived with your fellow man?

It's an arbitrary, culturally bound, social convention. No amount of living with your fellow man would teach you that. You have to he told.

obviously i'm talking about Ireland, i thought we all were, therefore as an adult i have learned by now how to behave in social situations.

if i moved to Tibet i would of course ask what the convention was.

in reply to Seamus above i would not consider it a matter of tradition as such.
the manner of the funerals themselves is a matter of tradition i suppose,but to show due respect to people grieving a loss is simply good manners and normal human empathy.
now walking down the street i might pass someone who is grieving but i don't know it i might see them in a cafe and i behave completely normally because i don't know.

but when i know then i change my behavior and i know when i see a funeral cortege, so i wait i allow that little inconvenience into my life because someone else some other person has it a lot harder then me right at that moment so even though i don't know them i put them before myself for 2,3 5 or even the 10 minutes it might take.

that anyone needs this explained to them is mind boggling

c_man

seamus wrote: »

It's not something I've ever encountered in Ireland

Really? Gotta say I find that strange. No doubting you, just saying. I used to encounter that scenario a couple of times a month at least when in Ireland (no I didn't just hang around funeral parlours :pac: ) and noticed that roughly half the people would do similar to me and the rest just continued on about their way.

TheChizler

seamus wrote: »

Why?

What's the problem if you go past it quietly? Why would a mourning family give a single **** as to whether someone was overtaking a procession?

You forget that in Ireland overtaking someone is challenging their masculinity and cause for offence in itself. :rolleyes:

Special Circumstances

TheChizler wrote: »

You forget that in Ireland overtaking someone is challenging their masculinity and cause for offence in itself. :rolleyes:

I choose to interpret the "flashing of lights in impotent rage" as photonic applause rather than reprimand.

Sterling Archer

c_man wrote: »

Worked in a pub near a church once, we always had to close the curtains when a funeral procession was leaving. I dunno how widespread a thing that is but if you forgot to do so, boy did you hear about it :eek:

I worked in Dunnes stores for years, anytime a funeral would pass the "front lights" were turned off until it had passed..

Personally I wouldn't overtake a funeral on a country road, on a motorway depending on the funeral speed I may overtake but not make a fuss about it, move as far right as I can and not make a big deal about it,
In a village or town a funeral progression isn't going to impact you massively (unless your living out towards the graveyard)

On a country road the logistics or trying to overtake a line of closely packed cars shouldn't be enough to deter anyone, you should be overtaking unless you have a gap where you can pull in.
Most country funerals I've been to (if it'll be travelling outside the village/town) will not have mourners walking behind the herse once it get's outside the town, usually they will walk a certain distance from the church and then get into cars.

On national roads I've never noticed any speed difference between a funeral and that of a "slow" driver, usually 70-90 KMH

I'm from the country..

haveringchick

farmchoice wrote: »

obviously i'm talking about Ireland, i thought we all were, therefore as an adult i have learned by now how to behave in social situations.

if i moved to Tibet i would of course ask what the convention was.

in reply to Seamus above i would not consider it a matter of tradition as such.
the manner of the funerals themselves is a matter of tradition i suppose,but to show due respect to people grieving a loss is simply good manners and normal human empathy.
now walking down the street i might pass someone who is grieving but i don't know it i might see them in a cafe and i behave completely normally because i don't know.

but when i know then i change my behavior and i know when i see a funeral cortege, so i wait i allow that little inconvenience into my life because someone else some other person has it a lot harder then me right at that moment so even though i don't know them i put them before myself for 2,3 5 or even the 10 minutes it might take.

that anyone needs this explained to them is mind boggling

Part of being a parent included teaching your child common or garden manners, and having consideration and respect for others
As you can see from one or two stand out posters in this thread, some parents didn't bother with any of that nonsense
The message was "F**k everybody else, the only person whose feeling you need to consider are your own"
Its a kind of all encompassing stupidity really,being completely incapable of empathising with anybody else
Oh well.

El_Duderino 09

farmchoice wrote:

obviously i'm talking about Ireland, i thought we all were, therefore as an adult i have learned by now how to behave in social situations. if i moved to Tibet i would of course ask what the convention was.

If you moved to Tebet you would need to ask and be told about how to show respect but in Ireland you should just know how. Do you think respect showing is innate knowledge which you're just born with in Ireland?

farmchoice wrote:

in reply to Seamus above i would not consider it a matter of tradition as such. the manner of the funerals themselves is a matter of tradition i suppose,but to show due respect to people grieving a loss is simply good manners and normal human empathy.

You seem to deny and acknowledge that funeral rituals are traditions. You don't know what you think because yu haven't thought about it before

farmchoice wrote:

that anyone needs this explained to them is mind boggling

You definately haven't explained it here. According to yourself, funeral behaviour is both tradition and not tradition and you should ask about foreign rituals but domestic arbitrary rituals are normal human empathy. You seem confused.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

My own mothers funeral was travelling the morning of her being buried from the church (in a town) to the graveyard (a village just outside town) and while driving up the street, some jerk cut out behind the hearse in front of my brothers car, followed the hearse through the town, and overtook it as soon as he was on the straight stretch of road out of town.

Jerk