Stuff You Got Wrong As A Kid

RainyDay

I remember being hugely thankful at being born in an English speaking country as it would have been desperately hard to learn another language at a young age.

This Fat Girl Runs

When I was young, before I really understood about the birds and the bees, I read a romance book that I had found at a house where my parents were visiting friends. Voracious reader that I am had to read it. It was all over my head and for the love scenes, phrases like 'he entered her' had me baffled. I thought the man actually somehow opened the woman like a door and got inside her.

cowboyBuilder

I used to panic a bit when I was younger when getting an erection,
I was worried that women would laugh if I had a boner, when I found out one needed an erection to have sex I was hugely relieved !

the_sonandmoon

I used to think that people who weren't from Ireland had to call it "Your Land"

RobertKK

I had an aunt (RIP) who told us the story of asking a shop assistance where were the 'Kimberley Mickadoos were', she died laughing telling us as she hadn't realised how Mikado was pronounced when she asked for them.
I know it says 'as a kid', but was told this as a kid.

gramar

I was asked to go to the shop once for a bottle of YR sauce.
I went and asked for a bottle of wire sauce much to the mirth of the shop keeper.

LDN_Irish

Antar Bolaeisk wrote: »

When I was younger I used to pronounce the word subtle without silencing the "b".

Oh the ignominy!

I thought misled was pronounced, well misled, and not mis-led. Also cracked a joke in front of the same lads I mentioned earlier about buying a magazine for the lingerie section. Lingeree. Ffs.

smash

RobertKK wrote: »

I had an aunt (RIP) who told us the story of asking a shop assistance where were the 'Kimberley Mickadoos were', she died laughing telling us as she hadn't realised how Mikado was pronounced when she asked for them.
I know it says 'as a kid', but was told this as a kid.

Did you ever tell her that Kimberleys and Mikados were different biscuits?

LDN_Irish

smash wrote: »

Did you ever tell her that Kimberleys and Mikados were different biscuits?

Do Kimberleys not make Mikados? Always hated then but remember some jingle like "Kimberley Mikados and coconut creams!" Or was it "Kimberleys, Mikados and Coconut Creams!"

RobertKK

smash wrote: »

Did you ever tell her that Kimberleys and Mikados were different biscuits?

Good point as she just said Mickadoos, as my brain was thinking of the ad for Kimbeley, Mikado and Coconut creams which was something my aunt hadn't heard or she would know known they were not mickadoos :pac:

smash

LDN_Irish wrote: »

Do Kimberleys not make Mikados? Always hated then but remember some jingle like "Kimberley Mikados and coconut creams!" Or was it "Kimberleys, Mikados and Coconut Creams!"

It was the latter

Redser87

I thought it was Gnid Blyton because of the signature on the books. Still remember being laughed at for my book review in First Class :-(

miezekatze

Redser87 wrote: »

I thought it was Gnid Blyton because of the signature on the books. Still remember being laughed at for my book review in First Class :-(

Something similar, I used to think the guy was called 'Walt Disnep' instead of Disney because of the signature!

I'm from a non English speaking country and when i was very young i used to think that the US and England etc were all the same place because they spoke the same language.

.red.

I remember when we were about 8/9 a friends brother was telling us all about sex. He was about 2 years older than us. He reckoned he'd done it to loads if girls and it was great craic. Apparently the girl got undressed, you pulled down your pants, then took out your mickey and stuck it in cider, (thats what i heard, just slightly different to what he said)
My parents didnt drink but would stock up on booze for christmas callers. Every time i saw the Bulmers in the fridge i thought my parents were sex crazed monsters.

HughWotMVIII

CarrickMcJoe wrote: »

You don't need to be a kid...Arranged to meet a friend in Ney York only to find her pacing over and back on the pavement.
When I asked her about it she pointed to the No Standing sign (meant for motorists)..

True.

It was only about five years ago that I found out that pasta doesn't grow on trees. I always thought it was a grain like rice but one that grew downwards from tree branches. The many varied shapes being different varieties of pasta trees.

valoren

My aunt used to go up to Newry in the North during the 80's for the Christmas shopping.

"We're going up to Newry", "Let's go up to Newry again this year", "She's gone to Newry for the shopping".

I thought it was an actual woman called Newry who had a shop where all this shopping was bought and not an actual place.

now online

Laughed so hard reading this!

When I was a child my dad loved watching westerns I sometime sat and watched them with him. When it came near bedtime my dad used to tell me he had to turn off the tv to take all the dead bodies out of the back, I totally believed him!

I'm the third of four. Saturday night bath night and we'd all be dunked in together I remember my mum telling me about my ears being so dirty you could grow potatoes in them I was fearful of that ever happening!

At a very young age maybe 4 or 5 I asked my dad where I came from, he told me they found me behind a head of cabbage. A few years later he planted a vegetable patch in the garden including cabbages! ! I told everyone including teachers etc we were getting a new baby.

I could go on. ....

maudgonner

HughWotMVIII wrote: »

True.

It was only about five years ago that I found out that pasta doesn't grow on trees. I always thought it was a grain like rice but one that grew downwards from tree branches. The many varied shapes being different varieties of pasta trees.

Prepare to have your mind blown...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU

I'm still recovering from finding out that pineapples don't grow on trees

Toto Wolfcastle

miezekatze wrote: »

Something similar, I used to think the guy was called 'Walt Disnep' instead of Disney because of the signature!

I thought it was a silent 'p' for years!

HughWotMVIII

maudgonner wrote: »

Prepare to have your mind blown...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU

I'm still recovering from finding out that pineapples don't grow on trees

That's exactly how I imagined it!!!! :D The narrator had me convinced it was indeed true for a moment but the youtube comment section quickly changed that.

LDN_Irish

Toto Wolfcastle wrote: »

I thought it was a silent 'p' for years!

Like neumoniap?

Roselm

gramar wrote: »

I was asked to go to the shop once for a bottle of YR sauce.
I went and asked for a bottle of wire sauce much to the mirth of the shop keeper.

I was going to the tuck shop in secondary school and said I'd get my friend something. She wanted a line bar. No idea what this was, even said it back to her. A line bar? Yes. Ok...?!
So off I went, asked for one and realised as I was handed one, I really should have copped she was saying "lion"

OneArt

My mum's parents split up when she was a teenager living in Rhodesia, but my Irish grandparents have been together since day one and I've always known them as Grandma and Granddad. My mum's father lives in South Africa now and has been with his second wife for decades. His ex-wife, my grandmother, is English so moved back to the UK after the divorce. To differentiate our parents always got us to call her Nana. I never questioned the divorce as it seemed pretty normal to me that sometimes people stopped being together, but as a kid I always thought we called my English grandmother "Nana" because she was divorced.

arayess

Zaylee Fluffy Sap wrote: »

As a child I thought birds lived in nests. At about 11 I was quite taken aback when I realised they used nests only for breeding and spent their nights in trees, bushes etc.

Teachers have a lot to answer for really.

until I read this, I thought that too

The_Captain

"Gardai hold man following killing"

I was picturing the Gards gathering around and hugging some guy because his wife died or something

TrueIt

Turtyturd wrote: »

I also thought facial hair was a characteristic you couldn't change. So I spent a few years of my childhood terrified that I would grow up to have a moustache.

I spent all my early childhood thinking that only males could develop facial hair, so one day probably at the age of 8/9 my world turned upside down, when I passed through an airport with family and noticed an elderly woman with a moustache.

Addle

I thought Anon was the wisest person and most bountiful writer.

OneArt

miezekatze wrote: »

Something similar, I used to think the guy was called 'Walt Disnep' instead of Disney because of the signature!

I'm from a non English speaking country and when i was very young i used to think that the US and England etc were all the same place because they spoke the same language.

I spent my childhood in South Africa where we've got 10+ official languages. My family always spoke English and as a kid I could understand some Afrikaans, but I always heard other languages like Xhosa and Ndebele and Zulu and Portuguese. Everywhere we went though, we were able to speak to pretty much anyone in English.

So I spent a long time not knowing that what I spoke was actually a language, and thought it was just the 'standard' way people spoke in public and that we were really boring because we didn't have a language!

Arne_Saknussem

"Check Press for details". There was never any information in any of the presses.

Mr Magnolia

When at mass as a child the priest used to say a prayer for the 'recently deceased'. It finished with "...in baptism they died with Christ, may they now..."

I of course thought they died while being baptized. I was sure the clumsy fcuker must have dropped the baby in the water font and that was that. Freaked for years.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Used to think when people didn't know something the expression was 'I haven't an ocean' (a notion), thought it was just one of those expressions like it's raining cats and dogs.

8 Bit Girl

Does anyone remember Top 30 Hits, the music programme that used to be on RTE?
It used to have news and updates about bands and music scrolling along the bottom of the screen.

Any time it said such and such a band were bringing out a new album or music video and to...''watch this space'' ...I thought it meant literally! Cue me staring at the same point on the screen for the next hour to see what they were talking about!

Baylor Sticky Photocopier

Baylor Sticky Photocopier wrote: »

Used to think when people didn't know something the expression was 'I haven't an ocean' (a notion), thought it was just one of those expressions like it's raining cats and dogs.

When anyone would say something along the lines of 'Oh, time flies!' I'd look around to see the flies, so I'd know how time flies differed from regular flies.

My mum nearly wee'd herself laughing when I asked her what time flies looked like.

KatW4

For some strange reason, when I was younger, I used to think that people in Japan/China/Australia etc used to watch us as if we were a TV programme. I was sure that there were cameras every where that we went, and people were watching everything that we did. No idea where I got that idea from.

KatW4

KatW4 wrote: »

For some strange reason, when I was younger, I used to think that people in Japan/China/Australia etc used to watch us as if we were a TV programme. I was sure that there were cameras every where that we went, and people were watching everything that we did. No idea where I got that idea from.

The Truman Show?

I wondered about the nature of reality myself after seeing that one. Big questions for a 10/11 year old!

storker

Addle wrote: »

I thought Anon was the wisest person and most bountiful writer.

I thought Ibid was a classical historian.

Aglomerado

Mr Magnolia wrote: »

When at mass as a child the priest used to say a prayer for the 'recently deceased'. It finished with "...in baptism they died with Christ, may they now..."

I of course thought they died while being baptized. I was sure the clumsy fcuker must have dropped the baby in the water font and that was that. Freaked for years.

Ha! Me too! I love this thread!

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Candie wrote: »

When anyone would say something along the lines of 'Oh, time flies!' I'd look around to see the flies, so I'd know how time flies differed from regular flies.

My mum nearly wee'd herself laughing when I asked her what time flies looked like.

Friends of mine were driving down Donegal and their four year old was going bananas when they went past Ben Bulben and roaring that 'Wow this is a really big dara!' Eventually figured out that he'd interpreted Ardara where they lived as 'our dara' and extrapolated that 'dara' meant place. Fecking mad how kids pick up language! I mean it's funny but it's pretty mind blowing at the same time

Mister Vain

I didn't know Roman numerals were numbers. I remember watching the intro to Rocky III and saying "Ohh Rocky eye eye eye is on."

MRnotlob606

That I was his only son. Told me when I was 18 that I had another brother...

rawn

I thought that when astronauts went into space they were constantly meandering through bright, rock sized stars that were merely metres apart and constantly bumping into them with no consequence. I can't remember realising how wrong I was but I do remember being amazed that our sun was a giant star that lorded it over the rest of the mini stars.

KatW4

Candie wrote:

The Truman Show?

I've never seen it!

Filmer Paradise

As a kid, when I had a cold my Mam used to sometimes get a bottle of Cough Mixture for me.

Cough Mixture? Did this bottle contain a mixture of coughs?

A Bold Cough & a Nasty cough with a bit of a Wheeze thrown in????

New Home

A few things spring to mind, I'm sure they weren't the only ones.

Instead of saying that nursery rhyme 'This little piggy went to the market', my mother, who was a nurse, used to touch each of our toes and call it with its... 'proper'... name, something like A-toe, B-toe, C-toe, D-toe, E-toe. Knowing she was a nurse and therefore knew about 'body stuff', we believed her. The worst part was that my brother managed to convince his primary school teacher that those were the correct anatomical names, 'cause 'Mammy said so and she's a nurse so she knooowwwws', and the teacher eventually bought it and told all the kids to write the names down. We only found the truth when, one day, my mother checked my brother's copy... :rolleyes:

Another gem was this - both my brother and myself and most of our cousins were told all the time that granny was very special 'cause she still had all of her baby teeth, even though she was well into her 80s. Being a smart kid I felt I was being taken for a fool, of course old people have dentures, but my granny almost swore it was true, and considering she was very devout and therefore she wouldn't lie, I was convinced. I even felt sorry for her 'cause it meant she never got any money off the Tooth Fairy... I think I only copped on at some stage when I was already in secondary school...

Another one I remember was this - there was a book of poems for children in the house, and one of them had an actual photograph of a chocolate tree with fruits and leaves made of sweets and jellies. I don't know how much I drooled over that picture. The poem said that dads knew where that tree was, and that children should ask their dads to bring them there. I don't know how many years I spent trying to convince dad to drive me there, and I didn't believe him when he said he hadn't a clue - after all, it was written in a book so it must've been true. I was sooo angry at him for that. I still think about that tree, from time to time...

Also - did anyone else think that cartoon characters were actually real and alive, 'cause if they'd been just drawings they wouldn't have moved, just like the pictures in books? Yeah, me neither... :rolleyes:

storker

New Home wrote: »

Another one I remember was this - there was a book of poems for children in the house, and one of them had an actual photograph of a chocolate tree with fruits and leaves made of sweets and jellies.

Childcraft Vol II?

Chain Smoker

Thought communion was made out of bread bread. Spent years (probably only months, but it felt crazy long), trying to find ways to make my own communion using bread.

When I finally had my first communion, I was mostly just really annoyed that none of my experiments came close and it was more like a wafer substance.

New Home

storker wrote: »

Childcraft Vol II?

Yes! But I think mine was on Vol. I...

iLikeWaffles

Remember watching The Wizard of Oz when I was about 4 or 5. It was probably the first black and white film I seen I was thinking to myself that everybody in the world couldn't see in colour up until the point of the colour coming into the film. Very confused...

iLikeWaffles

iLikeWaffles wrote: »

Remember watching The Wizard of Oz when I was about 4 or 5. It was probably the first black and white film I seen I was thinking to myself that everybody in the world couldn't see in colour up until the point of the colour coming into the film. Very confused...

I think this is common with kids, I used to think the whole world was in black and white in the 'olden' days...i.e. before my life.

snowey07

When I was little I thought when water went down the plug hole it went through the earth and came out of taps in Australia. I spent many a night shouting down the sink hole to my auntie in Australia and was always upset that she never answered :-(