Going for a massage

One More Toy

Picked up a groupon for a massage place; not too sure about it reputability considering its only a mobile thats provided.

Anyway Ive never had one before and am just wondering what the etiquette is etc.

smash

One More Toy wrote: »

Anyway Ive never had one before and am just wondering what the etiquette is etc.

In regards to what part?

One More Toy

smash wrote: »

In regards to what part?

I'm incredibly socially anxious, so every part!

RossieMan

Have your balls out and be ready to go

Doodoo

One More Toy wrote: »

Picked up a groupon for a massage place; not too sure about it reputability considering its only a mobile thats provided.

Anyway Ive never had one before and am just wondering what the etiquette is etc.

Be careful they don't sting you with the extras. That's how they make their money.

chewed

Doodoo wrote: »

Be careful they don't sting you with the extras. That's how they make their money.

The extras don't sting!

One More Toy

Doodoo wrote: »

Be careful they don't sting you with the extras. That's how they make their money.

As in?

PaddyWilliams

Happy ending?!

faceman

If it's just a mobile number then I doubt it's legit. Google th number and see what results you get

smash

You're usually just handed a towel and told to take off your clothes and lye on the table. Don't be expecting a happy ending either, it's not what getting a massage is about.

One More Toy

faceman wrote: »

If it's just a mobile number then I doubt it's legit. Google th number and see what results you get

I was thinking the same but surely if it's on Groupon etc etc

One More Toy

smash wrote: »

You're usually just handed a towel and told to take off your clothes and lye on the table. Don't be expecting a happy ending either, it's not what getting a massage is about.

God no wouldn't dream of it, if I'm offered ill just say I'm gay, it's the easier option

Either that or I'm grand for the aul ****

smash

One More Toy wrote: »

I was thinking the same but surely if it's on Groupon etc etc

Do you think Groupon give a shít about the legitimacy of a business who's paying them? Is it a mobile service? Perhaps link us the deal.

One More Toy

smash wrote: »

Do you think Groupon give a shít about the legitimacy of a business who's paying them? Is it a mobile service? Perhaps link us the deal.

Aigh that's true. It's expired so can't link, I'll report back next week!

Bob24

smash wrote: »

Don't be expecting a happy ending either, it's not what getting a massage is about.

Definitely not my idea of a massage either ... but that's not to say it isn't a service which his expected by some customers and offered in some places.

I remember a place where the masseuse would really try hard to sell the extra service a few years ago in Malaysia (trying to "innocently" raise appetite at the end of the massage and they to talk you into it) ... and that was not in some kind of dodgy place either that was in a 5 stars hotel which was making a large chunk of its money with multinational company employees on business trips (it was the recommended option for my company's employee and at any given time they would have had at least 10 or 20 guests from us - sometimes over 100). I had no interest but a few colleagues did return regularly (both risky for the company's employee and the hotel if you ask me - I think it could have meant disciplinary measures for the former and loss of business for the later if at had come to the attention of senior management).

Having said that OP, the few places I have been to with Groupon vouchers were not like that :-)

Take off you clothes except you underwear, lie down on the massage table, and relax.

ancapailldorcha

Cut out the puerile humour please.

faceman

faceman wrote: »

If it's just a mobile number then I doubt it's legit. Google th number and see what results you get

Wouldn't be so sure. Plenty of sole traders now only use mobile phones.

The girl I go to uses only a mobile, as does my physio.

OP, you've nothing to worry about. Just show up, have boxers on. The masseuse will tell you what to do when you get there. It's all very civilised

One More Toy

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Wouldn't be so sure. Plenty of sole traders now only use mobile phones.

The girl I go to uses only a mobile, as does my physio.

OP, you've nothing to worry about. Just show up, have boxers on. The masseuse will tell you what to do when you get there. It's all very civilised

Can you pm me your ones details if she's in Dublin?

faceman

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Wouldn't be so sure. Plenty of sole traders now only use mobile phones.

The girl I go to uses only a mobile, as does my physio.

OP, you've nothing to worry about. Just show up, have boxers on. The masseuse will tell you what to do when you get there. It's all very civilised

Hope you're right.

A female friend of mine bought a groupon massage deal a few years back. The establishment wasn't legit.

One More Toy

faceman wrote: »

Hope you're right.

A female friend of mine bought a groupon massage deal a few years back. The establishment wasn't legit.

Go on......

aidanathome

Deleted User wrote: »

Wouldn't be so sure. Plenty of sole traders now only use mobile phones.

The girl I go to uses only a mobile, as does my physio.

OP, you've nothing to worry about. Just show up, have boxers on. The masseuse will tell you what to do when you get there. It's all very civilised

I guess that if you have her mobile then you go back to her quite often. If it's in Dublin, can you PM the details? It has been a while and I've been meaning to organise one recently.

One More Toy

It was a dood in the end and no hand shandys

SVJKarate

Deleted User wrote: »

Just show up, have boxers on.

Strongly advise a spare pair of boxers, nothing worse than walking around afterwards with boxers damp from the oils they use.

Porkpie

Bob24 wrote: »

Take off your clothes except you underwear, lie down on the massage table, and relax.

You're not expected to have your underwear on. Keep it off, that's the normal etiquette!

RainyDay

Porkpie wrote: »

You're not expected to have your underwear on. Keep it off, that's the normal etiquette!

Not in my experience. Dress whatever is comfortable for you. Some people like to strip - some keep shorts or boxers on.

killwill

Porkpie wrote: »

You're not expected to have your underwear on. Keep it off, that's the normal etiquette!

IMy missus and I go for a few couples day massages a year.
We always get disposable underwear and a towel to place over you.

Stigura

One More Toy wrote: »

It was a dood in the end ...

And how was the massage?

I've had one, proper, massage in my life. Someone trained, as opposed to a partner just doing their best with a bottle of baby oil.

This was a girl, as it happens. And, yes; 'A Happy Ending' was the normal outcome of her service. Only, I didn't want that. I wanted a massage. Fortunately, as said, she Was properly trained in that too.

So, I insisted I keep my trousers on and she worked on my chest, stomach, back and arms.

Oh dear god!!! So Much Better than any demonstration of her other technique! She turned my upper torso into a lump of jelly with indescribable pleasure pulsating through the veins, for Days!

Most of us walk around like a skin full of concrete aggregate. Good massage can prove this

the evasion_kid

in thailand at the minute,cant take ten steps without the cry of "massage,massage,massage" followed by a smacking sound they make with their lips,im guessing these joints are of the happy ending variety...

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Porkpie wrote: »

You're not expected to have your underwear on. Keep it off, that's the normal etiquette!

No, you strip to your underwear for a full body massage. You can leave on the lower items of clothing if it's just a back massage.

Hagar7

Deleted User wrote: »

Wouldn't be so sure. Plenty of sole traders now only use mobile phones.

The girl I go to uses only a mobile, as does my physio.

OP, you've nothing to worry about. Just show up, have boxers on. The masseuse will tell you what to do when you get there. It's all very civilised

A mobile phone :eek: I've never been massaged by a phone before.

cowboyBuilder

I'm always very cautious going to these places, because you can't tell which are dodgy and which are legit untill you get there, and sometimes it's too late.

But my last place I worked we had a company masseuse and it was great, every 2 weeks I'd get a nice relaxing massage after a hard days work.

Good for my shoulders too as I get sore shoulders from serving in tennis.

Anyway, my new place doesn;t have such a luxury and haven't gone anywhere since, I can't trust them..

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

You can't trust them?
Find a male sports Physio

Mister Vain

Get the Swedish oil one. The last one I got was fantastic apart from my toenail falling off. Some places have little fish that suck your feet.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

That's actually illegal now mr vain, because of the risk of virus such as hepatitis and HIV. No more fishes

Bob24

LexieOnRale wrote: »

That's actually illegal now mr vain, because of the risk of virus such as hepatitis and HIV. No more fishes

I didn't wait for the law on this ... having fishes eat my feet after eating 100s of strangers' feet before, never sounded too attractive!

The plural is still just fish. :pac:

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

The plural is still just fish. :pac:

Actually it's either, but "fishes" is slightly more "correct". /Pedantic wanker.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Fish-ies

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

Actually it's either, but "fishes" is slightly more "correct". /Pedantic wanker.

Hmm.. dunno.. i'd argue it's the other way, and that 'fish' is the more 'correct' way.


But sure what would I know. I'm just one of the sheeps.

Bob24

I am not a native English speaker; but looking at the dictionary both are correct and have a slightly different meaning.

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/fish?s=t

(especially collectively) fish
(especially referring to two or more kinds or species) fishes

Based on this I don't see any issue with what I wrote. I did learn something though.

Penn

This thread took an unexpected turn...

Bob24

Penn wrote: »

This thread took an unexpected turn...

Wasn't it about fishy practices in massage places from the very beginning?

Hagar7

Mister Vain wrote: »

Get the Swedish oil one. The last one I got was fantastic apart from my toenail falling off. Some places have little fish that suck your feet.

And some places have women who suck your toes........not that I've ever frequented such places before.

Mellor

Wibbs wrote: »

Actually it's either, but "fishes" is slightly more "correct". /Pedantic wanker.

If you are going to be a pedantic wanker, try to be correct :pac::pac::pac:

The collective is fish. As in a shoal of fish.
Fishes refers to multiple species, as in "sleeps with the fishes".

In this case, it a groups of doctor fish. So KKV was right.

cantdecide

Just on this one folks, I've been thinking about going for some kind of massage. A desk job and a part time degree course are absolutely killing my back and neck.

My only concern is body hair; it's not very dense of heavy but it's everywhere. Would this be a problem in any respect for me? I just imagine lots of pinching and snagging with it...

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

It won't impact the massage, though the hair might get a bit Matted and might not feel comfortable for you if it's all oily. Overall though, no big deal. Massaged lots of hairy men. It doesn't cause trouble

cantdecide

LexieOnRale wrote: »

It won't impact the massage, though the hair might get a bit Matted and might not feel comfortable for you if it's all oily. Overall though, no big deal. Massaged lots of hairy men. It doesn't cause trouble

Okay. Great. Thank you

kelledy

I use to get a massage every fortnight when I was a member of one of Ben dunnes gyms a few years ago
I done this for around 6 months before I needed to cut back on spending .
What a difference it made to me it made me feel great. The therepist use to mention that massages are good for releasing toxins from the body
, I remember The first couple I use to feel very bruised after tho

Mellor

kelledy wrote: »

The therepist use to mention that massages are good for releasing toxins from the body

Yeah that a line that gets wheel out.
It's completely false though

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Mellor wrote: »

Yeah that a line that gets wheel out.
It's completely false though

Why would you think this?

kelledy

You could be right I can't say I know tbh