The Cooking Irritations thread

anothernight

Oh, new one. Recipes that go:

Step 2: Mix etc. Don't overwork the dough.

Step 3: Tip dough onto the floured work surface and knead the dough.

>_<

MissFlitworth

Another avocado one! Watching someone try peel an avocado and chip the flesh off the stone, mulching and getting covered in said avocado in the process. Rather than cutting it in half, taking out the stone and scooping the flesh out of the shell.

anothernight

MissFlitworth wrote: »

Another avocado one! Watching someone try peel an avocado and chip the flesh off the stone, mulching and getting covered in said avocado in the process.

:eek:

Malari

MissFlitworth wrote: »

Another avocado one! Watching someone try peel an avocado and chip the flesh off the stone, mulching and getting covered in said avocado in the process. Rather than cutting it in half, taking out the stone and scooping the flesh out of the shell.

What the hell?! That's criminal...

Kovu

Oh I remembered another one today! People who throw out food on the date it goes off even if it looks and smells perfect. Especially fruit/veg, it's a lettuce....it won't kill you if it's a little limp! Veg a bit sprouty? Lop off the tops/peel and throw it into a soup.

tampopo

Alun wrote: »

Me too I have visions of people carefully chopping coriander leaves to just fill a tablespoon or weighing exactly 100g of cheese out on the scales before grating it.

I'd follow a recipe precisely first time round, then adjust thereafter.

Buggy things? American measurements.

Gloomtastic!

More Avacado talk: Have you seen the size of the avacados on special in Aldi? I've seen bigger strawberries!

nompere

kylith wrote: »

He's a devil for that, and for the vague measurements too. It's like reading a recipe written by my nan: a swig of milk, a fistful of nuts, a bunch of coriander.

That's the Nigel Slater way as well, and it suits me fine. There's a line in one of his books where he remarks that "it might be my recipe but it's your supper", and I think that's the proper attitude. I don't like Delia Smith holding me (metaphorically) by the hand the whole time I'm cooking.

Whispered

Sweet savoury things, parsnips, sweet potato, butternut squash. Funnily I love sweet things with cheese but otherwise, if it's sweet keep it away from my dinner.

(I do make sweet potato wedges but can only eat them with cheesy pizza )

Neyite

Someone handing out cake slices on a napkin at a birthday party I can handle. Getting my dessert served on a napkin, on a plate annoys me immensely. I don't want to pick damp shreds of napkin off what I'm eating.

Often this is the only napkin you are supplied with too. So they clearly expect this flimsy napkin to not only save them washing a plate properly, but also to sufficiently wipe your mouth after.

duploelabs

Neyite wrote: »

Someone handing out cake slices on a napkin at a birthday party I can handle. Getting my dessert served on a napkin, on a plate annoys me immensely. I don't want to pick damp shreds of napkin off what I'm eating.

Often this is the only napkin you are supplied with too. So they clearly expect this flimsy napkin to not only save them washing a plate properly, but also to sufficiently wipe your mouth after.

https://youtu.be/tekXxB6dosQ?t=123

Dial Hard

Spitting oil. I've cooked pretty much 7 nights a week for about 12 years now and I am still a total scaredy-cat if I have to go near a pan that's got something in it causing the oil to spit.

Dial Hard be like:

Neyite

Dial Hard wrote: »

Spitting oil. I've cooked pretty much 7 nights a week for about 12 years now and I am still a total scaredy-cat if I have to go near a pan that's got something in it causing the oil to spit.

Dial Hard be like:

The odd occasion I do chips for the dinner I get the OH to put them in the oil for me.

Keane2baMused

Broccoli. Especially broccoli from aldi.

You blink and it has gone bad :-/

Ruby31

Alun wrote: »

One word ... soup.

All the leftovers and odds and ends go into soup in my house. I'm the only one who'll eat it though! I'm frugal to the core!

fussyonion

People who wash meat.
You do not need to wash meat! All you're doing is creating little splashes of water on the counter-top which harbour germs.

Celery is another one; like many previous posters, I might make a Bolognese or Shepherd's Pie during the week but I have no use for the remainder of the celery after that.
I don't particularly like it either; I tolerate it in meals but I don't fancy eating it raw or making soup with the stuff.

Cutting open an onion to find it's dark brown and LEAKING on you.
Onion goo!

People who don't fry onions and garlic before adding the rest of the veg when making a soup.
You can't just throw EVERYTHING in a pot and boil the feck out of it.
You need to fry the onion and garlic first to get the base flavour ffs.

People who overcook chicken.
My Dad cooks a medium roast chicken for about 3 hours and the meat's all dry and crumbly.

People using jars of pasta sauce; c'mon, it's the simplest thing in the world to make and the jars have a hell of a lot of sugar in them too.

squonk

Watching american cookery programs where the presenter morphs from their own accent into some weird foreign accent to to say words like Ricotta, Cinatro, Crema etc. Guy Fieri I'm especially looking at you!

Dial Hard

fussyonion wrote:

People who overcook chicken. My Dad cooks a medium roast chicken for about 3 hours and the meat's all dry and crumbly.

Three hours is the absolute minimum time my mother will roast any meat for, regardless of size, weight or cut.

Cooking anything for less time than that renders it savagely poisonous and you'd drop dead immediately, before you even swallowed the first bite, as far as she's concerned.

Alun

squonk wrote: »

Watching american cookery programs where the presenter morphs from their own accent into some weird foreign accent to to say words like Ricotta, Cinatro, Crema etc. Guy Fieri I'm especially looking at you!

I cringe every time they say "paaaaahsta"

IvyTheTerrible

Alun wrote: »

I cringe every time they say "paaaaahsta"

Herbs without aspirating the "h" drives me up the wall!

Alun

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Herbs without aspirating the "h" drives me up the wall!

Ah, yes ... 'erbs. Makes them sound like Worzel Gummidge

Dial Hard

IvyTheTerrible wrote:

Herbs without aspirating the "h" drives me up the wall!

The urb cilantro.

It's fcuking coriander!

Is a whole other word just to differentiate the leaf from the seed really necessary? The rest of the English-speaking world seems to manage just fine...

ameliams

Mine own personal irritation is seeing people adding onions after other ingredients, in a bolognese etc. onions should always be first!!


A note on the carbonara, I've lived and worked in Italy for years and never had anyone say they make carbonara with cream. That is until last November when I had a rather decadent one with cream and saffron but the rest of the table (all Italians) were appalled by it.

Kovu

squonk wrote: »

Watching american cookery programs where the presenter morphs from their own accent into some weird foreign accent to to say words like Ricotta, Cinatro, Crema etc. Guy Fieri I'm especially looking at you!

Wor-chester-sheer sauce. :pac:

TeletextPear

squonk wrote: »

Watching american cookery programs where the presenter morphs from their own accent into some weird foreign accent to to say words like Ricotta, Cinatro, Crema etc. Guy Fieri I'm especially looking at you!

Oh my god. I was watching some cooking competition show that had these girls competing who were from New Jersey with 'Italian heritage'. Every second word was in a stupid accent, with my particular bugbear being 'Mot-sarellllll'. It's fcuking mozarella, it has an A at the end! :mad:

nkav86

Kovu wrote:

Wor-chester-sheer sauce.

Hate the word 'flavourful', it sounds ridiculous and the Americans use it every 2 seconds!

Faith

TeletextPear wrote: »

Oh my god. I was watching some cooking competition show that had these girls competing who were from New Jersey with 'Italian heritage'. Every second word was in a stupid accent, with my particular bugbear being 'Mot-sarellllll'. It's fcuking mozarella, it has an A at the end! :mad:

And where did "parma-jhaan" come from? It's "parma-zan".

(Or if you're my mother, "par-mee-zan" :pac:)

Zaph

squonk wrote: »

Watching american cookery programs where the presenter morphs from their own accent into some weird foreign accent to to say words like Ricotta, Cinatro, Crema etc. Guy Fieri I'm especially looking at you!

Say what you like about Guy Fieri, but I've eaten in one of his restaurants and I would certainly give considerable thought to matricide for another rack of the ribs there.

confusticated

Kovu wrote: »

Oh I remembered another one today! People who throw out food on the date it goes off even if it looks and smells perfect. Especially fruit/veg, it's a lettuce....it won't kill you if it's a little limp! Veg a bit sprouty? Lop off the tops/peel and throw it into a soup.

This particularly annoys me with eggs. First off, those dates are usually best before, not use by, and second, they're a guideline! I regularly eat eggs that are a week or two beyond best before and they're absolutely grand.

Cakerbaker

Baking mixes, especially ones for basic things like brown bread...... You still have to measure and add the wet ingredients so why is it so difficult to weigh some flour and a teaspoon or whatever of salt and baking soda instead of using a packet of premixed stuff that probably includes crap you don't need and have never heard of!