Toddler suddenly afraid to go to sleep

nikpmup

My two year old, up until a week ago, was perfectly content to go to bed by himself - routine would be pyjamas, a drink with his favourite teddies while sitting on my knee with five minutes of in the night garden, up the stairs, teeth brushed, into the room, say night night to whoever wasn't putting him to bed, lie on the bed with me for five or ten minutes, the into the cot awake and I'd leave him to it. He'd chatter to his teddies usually for a few minutes before going to sleep.

The last week, for some reason when we go to put him in the cot he goes doolally - clings onto us for dear life, cries hysterically and screams "no" while pointing at the bed. He gets very upset if you bring him near the cot. I've tried sitting on the bed but he just gets himself into a more and more distressed state. If we take him out of the cot he just stares at me; any attempt to budge on my part is met with more tears.

Does anyone have any insight on why this might suddenly be happening, and more importantly, how to stop it? I'm not a fan of letting him cry it out, but I can't spend my evenings lying on the bed with him until exhaustion forces him asleep. We're due to move house in about 6 weeks and I'm afraid the upheaval will make matters worse. As I've said, up until now he had no issues or problems going to sleep. There hasn't been any changes lately, he's not sick, and during the day he's happy and content. I don't know what to think.

rtron

Might they have wee'd in the bed at some point ur not aware of, that might be putting them off getting into bed.
One night our lil guy would not get into bed, and we figured it out the next day when we spotted the stained patch.

nikpmup

No, not that I'm aware of... He's still in nappies and gets a dry one just before bed. There's nothing I can think of Thats changed for him in the last wee while. Hopefully it's just a phase, but I'm worried if it drags out too long the house move will happen and it will exacerbate the problem.

RentDayBlues

It may be an element of separation anxiety and nights can be worst for this. My 2 year old is fine at nap time but some nights for no reason she kicks off. Her sister went through something very similar at that age, but grew out of it

dori_dormer

My boy is doing this recently too. He was two last week. First time leaving the landing light on all night helped. I think he suddenly became aware of the dark, and maybe had some bad dreams also? I'm not sure but that helped just after xmas.
Then starting last week, he suddenly just doesn't want to be in the cot. Now he does settle after a few minutes but only really after failing to get a leg over the top. Right after reading his book, he tries to curl up in the big bed in his room. Also in the mornign hell climb into the bed alone too. So I honestly think he's just outgrown his cot. We are moving next week so I'm thinking of putting him in a reg bed with a rail on it then.

Also around 2yrs and every 6 mths after, there's a type of development leap. Your guy could be going through that either?

nikpmup

It certainly feels like a form of separation anxiety, he has a low light on in the room. He's never slept in the bed, and has never made any attempt to get out of the cot, he just doesn't want to go in it.
He finally fell asleep in my partners arms this evening but it was near 9pm by the time he did (tried to put him to bed at 8pm) We've never had a problem putting him down before, and he's always been happy to go down by himself. I hope it's just a short phase!

nikpmup

It certainly feels like a form of separation anxiety, he has a low light on in the room. He's never slept in the bed, and has never made any attempt to get out of the cot, he just doesn't want to go in it.
He finally fell asleep in my partners arms this evening but it was near 9pm by the time he did (tried to put him to bed at 8pm) We've never had a problem putting him down before, and he's always been happy to go down by himself. I hope it's just a short phase!
That's interesting about the development leap, he has come on a bit recently in. Terms of his understanding and being able to do things for himself.

bp

This has suddenly started here too. My almost three year old (as in three this week) suddenly needs lights on etc and waking up in the middle of the night.

We are leaving the landing light on etc now

Jen44

could be that he's dreaming or a little scared of something. My little girl is the same age and started this, sometimes she would say i dont like that book anymore or something so i think she saw something on tv or something and it frightened her....she kept going on about the mystery man for a while too and then one day i was watching blaze with her and it was an episode about a mystery bandit that she was scared of. Like you said she used to go to bed in a little routine and i used to be able to just put her into the cot give her a kiss and she would be shouting see you later mammy as i was leaving! The thing that helped with us is that we got her the little flower night light in ikea and we leave it on when we put her down and then when im checking on her later on i turn it off. Its definitely helped.

esforum

bp wrote: »

This has suddenly started here too. My almost three year old (as in three this week) suddenly needs lights on etc and waking up in the middle of the night.

We are leaving the landing light on etc now

just waking or crying and bad dreams?

bp

Just waking and coming into to check we are in bed/ the house at 3am and insisting lights are left on and doors open.

If I leave the house before bed time there is a melt down and a genuine fear I won't be back

esforum

ah ok, sorry cant make any solid suggestions for that

Neyite

If he's two, would he be able to verbalise why? Obviously you wont get anything out of him when he's upset, but outside of those times, would he be able to give you even a one-word clue (scary /cold /big) as to why it upsets him?

nikpmup

No, he's not really talking yet; he does say/cry "no" when I try to put him down, and when I ask him if he wants me to stay, he says yes.

Jen44

maybe offer a teddy or something else to stay instead to keep him company. What about trying a mobile with a night light we always put the mobile on, we've taken the little animals that dangle down off now coz shes too big and would prob hang out of them but we put the white noise music on for her and it plays for around half an hour then turns itself off.

nikpmup

Just realised that I never replied back to this thread - thanks to all who made suggestions, I took them all on board.

It definitely appeared to me to be a fear/distress/separation anxiety type of thing, as nothing about his routine or anything else appeared to have changed - he had his two little teddies with him as he does every night, he had his night light and his his gro bag etc, all the usual things that he would have had/done going to bed. I was in work after the first 2/3 nights of this sudden clinginess, but my partner reported the same, that he cried and became upset; even if he appeared to have fallen asleep on the bed as soon as he went to lift him into the cot there were tears.
I had a few days off midweek so I put him to bed - the first night when he started to get upset I put him in the cot, told him I'd stay and I lay down on the bed in the room in his sight - he was still a little upset but didn't cry, and I was able to leave the room after about 15/20 mins. I did the same for the next couple of nights, cutting down the length of time I spent on the bed. The day before yesterday, I bought him a toddler pillow (he previously didn't have one and I had noticed that he'd often use his teddy as a pillow) and before bed we made a big fuss of his new "big boy pillow", and let him try it out on the sofa before bedtime. He loved it, so I showed him that it was in his cot. When I put him down that night, as I was bringing him to the cot I told him he was going to go to sleep with his new big boy pillow - I stayed in the room for a couple of minutes then left, he was awake but seemed happy, tonight I did the same but didn't stay in the room and although he stayed awake for a while he was happy enough.
Hopefully that's the end of the amateur dramatics for a while - as I mentioned in the OP, we're going to be moving soon so I really didn't want this to turn into an ongoing drama on top of the new house/room!!

fro9etb8j5qsl2

We are going through this at the moment, but only at nap time, and it has me at my wits end. 2 year old was always happy to go to bed until he got woken by someone using a hedge cutters a few weeks ago and it frightened the life out of him It has been a battle to get him to go since, he cries and screams with fright when I put him in his cot. Staying with him doesn't help, neither does reassuring him or letting him cry it out. He was just starting to settle today when the next door neighbour started vaccuming with her jumbo jet hoover and the poor fella lost it altogether Bizzarely, I discovered by chance that turning the shower on (the bathroom adjoins his room and the vibrations come through his wall) is the only thing that will calm him He still goes to bed fine at night. I am hoping that this passes soon

lawred2

nikpmup wrote: »

My two year old, up until a week ago, was perfectly content to go to bed by himself - routine would be pyjamas, a drink with his favourite teddies while sitting on my knee with five minutes of in the night garden, up the stairs, teeth brushed, into the room, say night night to whoever wasn't putting him to bed, lie on the bed with me for five or ten minutes, the into the cot awake and I'd leave him to it. He'd chatter to his teddies usually for a few minutes before going to sleep.

The last week, for some reason when we go to put him in the cot he goes doolally - clings onto us for dear life, cries hysterically and screams "no" while pointing at the bed. He gets very upset if you bring him near the cot. I've tried sitting on the bed but he just gets himself into a more and more distressed state. If we take him out of the cot he just stares at me; any attempt to budge on my part is met with more tears.

Does anyone have any insight on why this might suddenly be happening, and more importantly, how to stop it? I'm not a fan of letting him cry it out, but I can't spend my evenings lying on the bed with him until exhaustion forces him asleep. We're due to move house in about 6 weeks and I'm afraid the upheaval will make matters worse. As I've said, up until now he had no issues or problems going to sleep. There hasn't been any changes lately, he's not sick, and during the day he's happy and content. I don't know what to think.

same happening with our lad

apparently it's all part of natural development and should pass.. Often comes with night terrors as well