Secondary school detention concerns

Juan bu

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Rules are there to be observed. If the parent is encouraging the student to break those rules, then I pity the poor teachers. A bit of respect shown by the parents to the teachers would go a long way to showing their offspring how people behave in a civilized society.

BTW, have you ever watched a male teenager eating? 2 minutes would be plenty!

Show some respect and your child will learn from you After all you are their primary educator.

Ok so I'll sit back as a parent and allow a teacher to bully my son shut my mouth and say nothing ,let my son think I don't give a dame about him or how he is feeling at the end of the day my son is still a minor and is still under my care and if he feels he can't deal with this on his own and feels like he is not been heard it's my job as his mother to make sure it's dealt with and make sure he is been heard

beveragelady

If, as you say, he is 'no angel' does this mean he has a history of poor behaviour, even for minor things? This would require repeated teacher intervention, which a teenage boy might easily interpret as bullying. Bear in mind that, as I said before, the vast majority of students make their way from one end of the day to the other, year after year, with no reprimands from teachers at all. The parents of these students are entitled to expect a managed, disruption-free classroom.
Was the detention cancelled completely or was your son 'on probation?' Was he told, for example, that if he misbehaves again within the next month he will serve his detention as before?

I can't help thinking that either you're not getting the full story or we're not getting the full story. It's not like the school thought you'd never find out if they broke their word and made him do the detention.

evolving_doors

Juan bu wrote: »

Not even two ten minute breaks just one 20 min break

Is it your son who is telling you the details of the detention or were you explained the procedure by the school?

What do you mean by 'break' exactly.. is this a 20min break during lunchtime where they can leave the room and mix with their friends/eat their lunch and their lunchtime is cut short to go back to detention.?

What does the child do when the form teacher goes on their break? What happens when the form teacher has a free period and would like to 'not have to supervise' your son when they are not timetabled for a class?

Is it because of the teacher's 'bullying' [your words] that your son was in detention or had your son any blame to take for the incident(s)?


Just a lot more info needed I reckon, keep in mind that in most schools the TOTAL amount of break for the whole day is about 60 minutes, with about 5-10 minutes spent eating during the first break and another 10-15 eating during the second break, the rest is socialising/extra curricular/admin stuff. So really, I think all the school has done is cut down on the socialising/extra curricular/admin stuff.

Juan bu

beveragelady wrote: »

If, as you say, he is 'no angel' does this mean he has a history of poor behaviour, even for minor things? This would require repeated teacher intervention, which a teenage boy might easily interpret as bullying. Bear in mind that, as I said before, the vast majority of students make their way from one end of the day to the other, year after year, with no reprimands from teachers at all. The parents of these students are entitled to expect a managed, disruption-free classroom.
Was the detention cancelled completely or was your son 'on probation?' Was he told, for example, that if he misbehaves again within the next month he will serve his detention as before?

I can't help thinking that either you're not getting the full story or we're not getting the full story. It's not like the school thought you'd never find out if they broke their word and made him do the detention.

I understand what your saying and I dont understand it myself to me it seems that the teachers are basically giving me the two fingers

beveragelady

Juan bu wrote: »

I understand what your saying and I dont understand it myself to me it seems that the teachers are basically giving me the two fingers

Have you made an appointment with the principal? Do so straight away. You definitely need to sort out the details of this to your satisfaction. My advice is not to go in there demanding that your son is allowed to return to class. Instead ask for clarification as to why the detention has gone ahead, then proceed calmly and rationally if you're not happy with the answer.

Juan bu

Gebgbegb wrote: »

Is it your son who is telling you the details of the detention or were you explained the procedure by the school?

What do you mean by 'break' exactly.. is this a 20min break during lunchtime where they can leave the room and mix with their friends/eat their lunch and their lunchtime is cut short to go back to detention.?

What does the child do when the form teacher goes on their break? What happens when the form teacher has a free period and would like to 'not have to supervise' your son when they are not timetabled for a class?

Is it because of the teacher's 'bullying' [your words] that your son was in detention or had your son any blame to take for the incident(s)?


Just a lot more info needed I reckon, keep in mind that in most schools the TOTAL amount of break for the whole day is about 60 minutes, with about 5-10 minutes spent eating during the first break and another 10-15 eating during the second break, the rest is socialising/extra curricular/admin stuff. So really, I think all the school has done is cut down on the socialising/extra curricular/admin stuff.

I've heard both from my son and teachers as if said I had a meeting with the school and an agreement was made but the school went back on the agreement

rubberdiddies

Juan bu wrote: »

I've no prob with school detentions etc I know teachers have to keep the school / students under control but I also
Am concerned that 20 mi n break in a 7 hr day is just not healthy and 2 what they done was under handed as I had removed him from the in house previous
And behind my back they made him do it seems to me when I wasn't them bully my son that they are now trying to bully me as they should have Been a fresh start as suggested by them and agreed by them instead they have gone back on their word

i dont know your sons situation and i hate bullying in all its forms, however there is nothing wrong with a 20 minute break in a 7 hour day. Plenty of time to have their lunch and I'm sure toilet breaks are seperate as they would have to be.

After all they woouldnt exactly be exerting themselves for the remaining 6 hrs and 40 minutes, presumably just sitting there bored, reading.

it might start becoming a problem if it was a 20 minute break every single day, but then if a pupil was having detention like that every single there there are other things to be concerned about, the least of which is the amount of break time.

It's a welcome development to see disruptive students taken out of the classroom to allow the remainder to continue learning. I would hope that the majority that receive that sort of punishment once, would think twice about 're-offending'.

Juan bu

Juan bu wrote: »

I understand what your saying and I dont understand it myself to me it seems that the teachers are basically giving me the two fingers

Or is the parent doing so to the school? While he is your responsibility, in the school, he is theirs and must abide by their rules.
Take a step back and look at this calmly. It you, your son and the school cannot agree on what those rules are, then remove him from that school and try your luck elsewhere, IF you can get a school to take him (and his parents)
You are doing him no favours by going against the school. Will you be there to hold his hand in the workplace?

REXER

Deleted User wrote: »

Rules are there to be observed. If the parent is encouraging the student to break those rules, then I pity the poor teachers. A bit of respect shown by the parents to the teachers would go a long way to showing their offspring how people behave in a civilized society.

BTW, have you ever watched a male teenager eating? 2 minutes would be plenty!

Show some respect and your child will learn from you After all you are their primary educator.

Blind obedience respect and deference of/to authority is what got us where we are with the church in this country!

It seems to me that there are a few educators on here that are very thin skinned and overly sensitive to anyone questioning or taking a critical look at procedures in their domain.

Tag teaming to browbeat the OP into submission?

The_Valeyard

REXER wrote: »

Blind obedience respect and deference of/to authority is what got us where we are with the church in this country!

It seems to me that there are a few educators on here that are very thin skinned and overly sensitive to anyone questioning or taking a critical look at procedures in their domain.

Tag teaming to browbeat the OP into submission?

Calm the hysterics.

REXER

REXER wrote: »

Blind obedience respect and deference of/to authority is what got us where we are with the church in this country!

It seems to me that there are a few educators on here that are very thin skinned and overly sensitive to anyone questioning or taking a critical look at procedures in their domain.

Tag teaming to browbeat the OP into submission?

It works both ways. Schools don't hand out detentions for the fun of it! If OPs son is being disruptive, then it needs looking into. Blindly backing your child can be harmful to their future development.

Juan bu

Juan bu wrote: »

I've heard both from my son and teachers as if said I had a meeting with the school and an agreement was made but the school went back on the agreement

There is a few different things to long to go into but one of them was teacher accused him of kicking a girl which I would not tolerate and when I confronted the girl that was involved she said it never happened even though the teacher had rang me to report this to me but when she was confronted face to face with me she changed her story and has also admitted when dealing with my son she could have dealt with him in a better manner , despite what people on here might think I do make my children take responsibility for their actions but on this occasion I know he us been targeted in the wrong and I won't have that either

80s Child

A quick question:

On the day that you met the principal, and he agreed to a clean slate, did they then put him into detention that day, or was it a few days later?

If it was that day, fair enough, ring up and go 'Ah, I thought the slate was clean here, how has this happened?' If it was a few days later, it would make me think that there was an altercation that you haven't been told about.

Principals aren't generally in the business of lying to parents. It seems something is missing in the equation.

Juan bu

Juan bu wrote: »

There is a few different things to long to go into but one of them was teacher accused him of kicking a girl which I would not tolerate and when I confronted the girl that was involved she said it never happened even though the teacher had rang me to report this to me but when she was confronted face to face with me she changed her story and has also admitted when dealing with my son she could have dealt with him in a better manner , despite what people on here might think I do make my children take responsibility for their actions but on this occasion I know he us been targeted in the wrong and I won't have that either

Enough said!

beveragelady

Juan bu wrote: »

There is a few different things to long to go into but one of them was teacher accused him of kicking a girl which I would not tolerate and when I confronted the girl that was involved she said it never happened even though the teacher had rang me to report this to me but when she was confronted face to face with me she changed her story and has also admitted when dealing with my son she could have dealt with him in a better manner , despite what people on here might think I do make my children take responsibility for their actions but on this occasion I know he us been targeted in the wrong and I won't have that either

You should not have confronted the girl involved. Any child in that situation would say anything at all to make the parent go away. More and more it's looking to me like you don't want to see what's happening here.

Make the appointment with the principal and get the full story. If you're still not satisfied, ask the principal what steps you should take next. He or she is obliged to tell you your options.

Juan bu

80s Child wrote: »

A quick question:

On the day that you met the principal, and he agreed to a clean slate, did they then put him into detention that day, or was it a few days later?

If it was that day, fair enough, ring up and go 'Ah, I thought the slate was clean here, how has this happened?' If it was a few days later, it would make me think that there was an altercation that you haven't been told about.

Principals aren't generally in the business of lying to parents. It seems something is missing in the equation.

it was a few days later and there was no other altercation he was told he had to redo it as he refused to do it till they told him what the detention was for

80s Child

Juan bu wrote: »

There is a few different things to long to go into but one of them was teacher accused him of kicking a girl which I would not tolerate and when I confronted the girl that was involved she said it never happened even though the teacher had rang me to report this to me but when she was confronted face to face with me she changed her story and has also admitted when dealing with my son she could have dealt with him in a better manner , despite what people on here might think I do make my children take responsibility for their actions but on this occasion I know he us been targeted in the wrong and I won't have that either

I'm out - you can't do this! How would you feel if some adult questioned your son??

SAMTALK

I think OP is getting a lot of stick on here. Why do some posters not think its possible that the teacher was the problem and not the pupil
Yes schools do need to have rules and detention/suspension etc but there are some cases where the teachers are in the wrong and there might be a personality clash with some teachers/pupils.
In my experience some teachers think they're above reproach and should not be questioned and before you all react I did say SOME

rubberdiddies

Juan bu wrote: »

There is a few different things to long to go into but one of them was teacher accused him of kicking a girl which I would not tolerate and when I confronted the girl that was involved she said it never happened even though the teacher had rang me to report this to me but when she was confronted face to face with me she changed her story and has also admitted when dealing with my son she could have dealt with him in a better manner , despite what people on here might think I do make my children take responsibility for their actions but on this occasion I know he us been targeted in the wrong and I won't have that either

if this is the case and you fully believe your son, then why not make a formal complaint to the principal about the teacher and about the girl lying. To me, accusing someone of assault, which in an adult world this would be assault, should not be taken lightly.

beveragelady

Juan bu wrote: »

it was a few days later and there was no other altercation he was told he had to redo it as he refused to do it till they told him what the detention was for

Wait, what? He was told he had to do it because he refused to do it? That doesn't make any sense at all. How could he have refused before they told him to do it?


This whole situation as you have explained it is seeming less and less likely.

Juan bu

beveragelady wrote: »

You should not have confronted the girl involved. Any child in that situation would say anything at all to make the parent go away. More and more it's looking to me like you don't want to see what's happening here.

Make the appointment with the principal and get the full story. If you're still not satisfied, ask the principal what steps you should take next. He or she is obliged to tell you your options.

I've already spoken to principle ,vice principle and the teacher involved I know both sides of the story and the teacher that said she seen my son kicking a girl changed her story

beveragelady

Juan bu wrote: »

I've already spoken to principle ,vice principle and the teacher involved I know both sides of the story and the teacher that said she seen my son kicking a girl changed her story

Then why on earth did you see fit to confront a teenage girl if you already believed the teacher was fabricating the whole thing?

Nope, something not right here.

Don't waste your time here, get on to the principal and get the facts.

janes1234

Juan bu wrote:

A teacher in the school was bullying him and one day he got fed up of he he walk out of the class as he had enough

Your son sounds like he deserves everything he gets. It is extremely frustrating to teach kids with no manners and parents who wouldn't dream of not taking their side.

Liam O

Juan bu wrote: »

He was been bullied by a teacher and no he Is no Angel but he is no devil either ,I've been to the school and speaking to teachers and she has admitted she could have handled things better the problem is they broke they're own agreement with me and my son

How is admitting that it could have been handled better admitting that she bullied him?

ZeroThreat

lol the OPs son wouldn't have lasted 3 minutes in Drimnagh castle in the 80s

Now there was an institution which made its alumni as tough as nails through sheer brutalisation.

BrianBoru00

Juan bu wrote: »

While waiting for a meeting he stayed home with me as I don't send him to school to be bullied I send him him there to get educated

I'm curious as to how this "bullying" manifested itself.
You've given no details as to how your child has been "bullied".
What was the teachers side of the story? (and what was you sons side of it for that matter?)

Juan bu

Liam O wrote: »

How is admitting that it could have been handled better admitting that she bullied him?

No teacher is going to admit they bullied a student lets be realistic here but she also knew I had caught her out on lying so she had to say something

SAMTALK

janes1234 wrote: »

Juan bu wrote:

A teacher in the school was bullying him and one day he got fed up of he he walk out of the class as he had enough

Your son sounds like he deserves everything he gets. It is extremely frustrating to teach kids with no manners and parents who wouldn't dream of not taking their side.

It can also be frustrating if a teacher is bullying a child!!

Juan bu

beveragelady wrote: »

Then why on earth did you see fit to confront a teenage girl if you already believed the teacher was fabricating the whole thing?

Nope, something not right here.

Don't waste your time here, get on to the principal and get the facts.

I knew straight away my son would not kick a girl but I asked the girl myself just so I could say to the teachers I had done so as proof it never happened and the girl didn't report this the teacher said she seen it happen

REXER

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Calm the hysterics.

No hysterics, just an observation on what I see happening in this thread!