Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Secondary school detention concerns

Options
1…34689…13

Comments

  • Options
    #152
    REXER
    Registered Users Posts: 458 ✭✭REXER


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Oh come on.

    When a boy's mother describes him as 'no angel' that only means one thing.

    Please expand on your statement! This is very vague.


  • Options
    #153
    gormdubhgorm
    Registered Users Posts: 18,704 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    maggiepip wrote: »
    My God this must be the teachers of Ireland fan club. Almost every poster here, seems to believe a teacher is a saint and could never do any wrong. Isn't that what we used to think of the catholic church too? Make sure to never believe the child.

    Im more than 25 years out of school, but believe me I remember some teachers that were not the most fair in their dealings and a few teachers that actively disliked certain pupils, and it wasn't always justifiable.

    That has never being said:
    The facts as we have them from the mother.
    1) Child no angel
    2) Previous detentions

    If there was bullying by the teacher surely the OP would have stated this in the original post. Raving about bullying by the teacher etc. Which would be justified. But no the OP has focused attention on the type of detention and whether the son committed xyz act or not.

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



  • Options
    #154
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    gormdubhgorm wrote: »
    I only caught up with the other posts now. Previous detentions? So he is a detention veteran.
    Nothing more needs to be said here.

    Previous detentions were for forgetting books in his locker and wearing non uniform shoes and been chatty in class as I've said he found the transition from primary school to secondary school difficult just like a lot of students


  • Options
    #155
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    Juan bu wrote: »
    Previous detentions were for forgetting books in his locker and wearing non uniform shoes and been chatty in class as I've said he found the transition from primary school to secondary school difficult just like a lot of students

    Does this mean he is condemned for life ,??
    ,,


  • Options
    #156
    beveragelady
    Registered Users Posts: 854 ✭✭✭beveragelady


    Juan bu wrote: »
    Previous detentions were for forgetting books in his locker and wearing non uniform shoes and been chatty in class as I've said he found the transition from primary school to secondary school difficult just like a lot of students

    I would be astounded if he landed in detention for forgetting a book. 'Forgotten' homework, on a recurring basis however...

    And yes, a lot of kids find the move to secondary school difficult. Most of them don't react by making life hard for their teachers and classmates and being disciplined as a result. As has already been said, you're grasping at straws.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #157
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    REXER wrote: »
    Please expand on your statement! This is very vague.

    When I say my son is no Angel means I'm not stupid I don't believe everything he tells me and I investigate situation before I act on it I'm far from a naive parent


  • Options
    #158
    gormdubhgorm
    Registered Users Posts: 18,704 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    Juan bu wrote: »
    Previous detentions were for forgetting books in his locker and wearing non uniform shoes and been chatty in class as I've said he found the transition from primary school to secondary school difficult just like a lot of students

    OK thanks OP. Is it just the one particular teacher he has been in trouble with?

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



  • Options
    #159
    beveragelady
    Registered Users Posts: 854 ✭✭✭beveragelady


    Juan bu wrote: »
    When I say my son is no Angel means I'm not stupid I don't believe everything he tells me and I investigate situation before I act on it I'm far from a naive parent

    You just tried to excuse his behavior by citing the fact that he's no longer in primary school! Look at the pattern here.

    *Edit. This seems harsh when I read it. Look, we know your motivations are faultless, you want to help your son. In a way, he's lucky to have you on his side. However, your outlook seems a little rose tinted. As I have said before, there's always a chance that the teacher behaved abominably by first picking on him and then telling him not to to tell you he's in detention. (You haven't clarified, was that the same teacher?) This is something you'll hopefully sort out on Monday.
    You don't want any of this to be his doing, and that's understandable. You need to ask yourself though, what teacher would have the time or energy to go out of their way to be this unreasonable towards one student? Particularly if they know that you're going to cause extra hassle by getting involved? And would a principal allow the teacher to get away with it? It Just doesn't make sense to me.


  • Options
    #160
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    beveragelady wrote: »
    I would be astounded if he landed in detention for forgetting a book. 'Forgotten' homework, on a recurring basis however...

    And yes, a lot of kids find the move to secondary school difficult. Most of them don't react by making life hard for their teachers and classmates and being disciplined as a result. As has already been said, you're grasping at straws.
    I'm not grasping at straws the facts are a teacher accused him in the wrong and the school renaged on an agreement they made with me as one previous poster said looks like the teachers fan club on here apparently a teacher can do no wrong EVER which tells me I'm not the naive one here the people who believevteachers are always right are the naive ones


  • Options
    #161
    gormdubhgorm
    Registered Users Posts: 18,704 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    Juan bu wrote: »
    Does this mean he is condemned for life ,??
    ,,

    He is hardly being condemned for life OP.
    He just needs to follow the rules they are the same for other pupils, then he won't get detention. Detention is put there as a deterrent and to instill discipline. Some teachers can be stricter then others but most are fair minded.

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #162
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    beveragelady wrote: »
    You just tried to excuse his behavior by citing the fact that he's no longer in primary school! Look at the pattern here.

    I don't have to excuse his behaviour he didn't actually do the act he was accused of


  • Options
    #163
    beveragelady
    Registered Users Posts: 854 ✭✭✭beveragelady


    Juan bu wrote: »
    I don't have to excuse his behaviour he didn't actually do the act he was accused of

    Then why mention that he found the change difficult?

    I edited my post above to read less harshly, by the way. It seemed unnecessarily sharp and I'm sorry if it came across as an attack.


  • Options
    #164
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    gormdubhgorm wrote: »
    He is hardly being condemned for life OP.
    He just needs to follow the rules they are the same for other pupils, then he won't get detention. Detention is put there as a deterrent and to instill discipline.
    seems so on here just because he has received detention before it seems like he is this little delicquint that's causing trouble in school on a regular basis and deserves everything he gets and maybe if he was behaving in such a manner this might be justified but when it was because he was accused in the wrong it's far from justified people need to open their eyes and minds when it comes to teachers and their carrying on and not to be so quick as to blame the student straight away


  • Options
    #165
    FAILSAFE 00
    Registered Users Posts: 5,419 ✭✭✭FAILSAFE 00


    REXER wrote: »
    It would seem that you have read a bit too much into the OP's posts, there is nowhere at all that the OP has mentioned "POW" or indeed "Prisoner of war".
    It would seem that you have read a bit too much into my posts. It's called humour.


  • Options
    #166
    gormdubhgorm
    Registered Users Posts: 18,704 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    Juan bu wrote: »
    I don't have to excuse his behaviour he didn't actually do the act he was accused of
    OP it is not his first detention. Unfortunately this will go against him for a start as he will be given less leeway then others. It seems that your son as his friend were messing in class. Whether he kicked her/or not is a side issue. At the very least it seems extremely disruptive to a class playful messing etc.

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



  • Options
    #167
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    beveragelady wrote: »
    Then why mention that he found the change difficult?

    I edited my post above to read less harshly, by the way. It seemed unnecessarily sharp and I'm sorry if it came across as an attack.

    I was merely explaining his past detentions


  • Options
    #168
    aunt aggie
    Registered Users Posts: 454 ✭✭aunt aggie


    He did the detention. You aren't happy about that but he did it. Go into the school. Talk to principal and ask why he was put in detention despite agreement. Then tell them you're not happy with how things were handled but you want to move on.

    Doing the detention last week means that he does have a clean slate now. He's back to square one of the code of behaviour. IF your school has any rule saying a number of detentions leads to suspension, you should ask that this one doesn't count towards that.

    That's it. I would say that the school aren't bullying him. They are treating him the same as anyone else. There may be issues of poor communication from management. Ask the principal if they informed year head/tutor of agreement. BUT whatever you find out, you need to work with school management unless you're seriously considering moving school.


  • Options
    #169
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    gormdubhgorm wrote: »
    OP it is not his first detention. Unfortunately this will go against him for a start as he will be given less leeway then others. It seems that your son as his friend were messing in class. Whether he kicked her/or not is a side issue. At the very least it seems extremely disruptive to a class playful messing etc.
    Never happened in a classroom was meant to have happened in the corridors and he never kicked a girl anyway no matter where it was meant to happen


  • Options
    #170
    gormdubhgorm
    Registered Users Posts: 18,704 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    Juan bu wrote: »
    seems so on here just because he has received detention before it seems like he is this little delicquint that's causing trouble in school on a regular basis and deserves everything he gets and maybe if he was behaving in such a manner this might be justified but when it was because he was accused in the wrong it's far from justified people need to open their eyes and minds when it comes to teachers and their carrying on and not to be so quick as to blame the student straight away

    A teacher only has 45 mins to teach a class if a teacher has one disruptive pupil that could eat up 15\20mins of class time and create a "wild atmosphere" in class disrupting other pupils. As I said even if your son did not kick his friend playful messing can cause as much disruption.

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



  • Options
    #171
    beveragelady
    Registered Users Posts: 854 ✭✭✭beveragelady


    Juan bu wrote: »
    I was merely explaining his past detentions

    Explaining or excusing? The fact is that he, like other kids, makes decisions about his actions. Giving him the impression that his actions are influenced by factors outside his control is not helpful. All the kids made the jump from primary to secondary school. All of them. He doesn't get to use it as an excuse for his history of poor behaviour.

    And his history has a bearing on his current situation, even if you don't think it should.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #172
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    gormdubhgorm wrote: »
    OK thanks OP. Is it just the one particular teacher he has been in trouble with?

    On the last few accasions of him been corrected etc it's been the same teacher no other teacher seem to have issues with him this particular teacher seems to be watching every move he makes and has made remarks to him


  • Options
    #173
    gormdubhgorm
    Registered Users Posts: 18,704 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    Juan bu wrote: »
    Never happened in a classroom was meant to have happened in the corridors and he never kicked a girl anyway no matter where it was meant to happen

    So at its lightest scale it may have been playful messing in the corridors. With/without a kick a teacher can view this as disruptive.

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



  • Options
    #174
    REXER
    Registered Users Posts: 458 ✭✭REXER


    FAILSAFE 00 wrote: »
    It would seem that you have read a bit too much into my posts. It's called humour.

    NO, no its called badgering!
    Or maybe a very poor attempt at ridiculing the OP!


  • Options
    #175
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    beveragelady wrote: »
    Explaining or excusing? The fact is that he, like other kids, makes decisions about his actions. Giving him the impression that his actions are influenced by factors outside his control is not helpful. All the kids made the jump from primary to secondary school. All of them. He doesn't get to use it as an excuse for his history of poor behaviour.

    And his history has a bearing on his current situation, even if you don't think it should.
    Seriously are you not getting this I'm not excusing any behaviour , he was accused in the wrong not only that the school renaged on an agreement that was made between school and parent


  • Options
    #176
    FAILSAFE 00
    Registered Users Posts: 5,419 ✭✭✭FAILSAFE 00


    Juan bu wrote: »
    Never happened in a classroom was meant to have happened in the corridors and he never kicked a girl anyway no matter where it was meant to happen
    Is there any witnesses that can back this up.

    Ones that have not been tampered with. If it's in a corridor there must be multiple witnesses.


  • Options
    #177
    andekwarhola
    Registered Users Posts: 4,638 ✭✭✭andekwarhola


    Barrack room lawyers: easing their little darlings through life's unpleasantness since forever


  • Options
    #178
    REXER
    Registered Users Posts: 458 ✭✭REXER


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Oh come on.

    When a boy's mother describes him as 'no angel' that only means one thing.
    Juan bu wrote: »
    When I say my son is no Angel means I'm not stupid I don't believe everything he tells me and I investigate situation before I act on it I'm far from a naive parent

    Sorry, I was hoping that Orinoco would expand on his insightful statement as it was very vague and sweeping!


  • Options
    #179
    gormdubhgorm
    Registered Users Posts: 18,704 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    Juan bu wrote: »
    On the last few accasions of him been corrected etc it's been the same teacher no other teacher seem to have issues with him this particular teacher seems to be watching every move he makes and has made remarks to him

    Either your son feels like he can "take on" the teachers authority or else he is being targeted. Is your son the kind to ignore\challenge authority? Does he like the subject? Does he " put on a show" in front of his classmates? These are the questions you have to ask.

    If your son can keep the head down if the teacher is half way decent he/she will appreciate it.
    I could not help but notice that you said "on the last few ocassions" So it has not been only one teacher has it?

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



  • Options
    #180
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    FAILSAFE 00 wrote: »
    Is there any witnesses that can back this up.

    Ones that have not been tampered with. If it's in a corridor there must be multiple witnesses.

    When the teacher rang me about the incident she said it was a kick when I confronted her face to face she changed her story to he was pulling out of her bag


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #181
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    Juan bu wrote: »
    When the teacher rang me about the incident she said it was a kick when I confronted her face to face she changed her story to he was pulling out of her bag

    Look I really don't know if any of you have dealt with teachers in a situation like this and to be frank it's my first time to deal with them over my son having meant to have kicked another student but one thing I can tell you from my experience with dealing with teachers over this issue is they will try twist the story to suit them and try make the student out to be the one at fault in some shape or form teachers will stick together no matter what


Advertisement