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Secondary school detention concerns

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    #182
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    beveragelady wrote: »
    Explaining or excusing? The fact is that he, like other kids, makes decisions about his actions. Giving him the impression that his actions are influenced by factors outside his control is not helpful. All the kids made the jump from primary to secondary school. All of them. He doesn't get to use it as an excuse for his history of poor behaviour.

    And his history has a bearing on his current situation, even if you don't think it should.
    Explaining as I said I don't excuse if he genuinely has done something wrong


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    #183
    SAMTALK
    Registered Users Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    *Edit. This seems harsh when I read it. Look, we know your motivations are faultless, you want to help your son. In a way, he's lucky to have you on his side. However, your outlook seems a little rose tinted. As I have said before, there's always a chance that the teacher behaved abominably by first picking on him and then telling him not to to tell you he's in detention. (You haven't clarified, was that the same teacher?) This is something you'll hopefully sort out on Monday.
    You don't want any of this to be his doing, and that's understandable. You need to ask yourself though, what teacher would have the time or energy to go out of their way to be this unreasonable towards one student? Particularly if they know that you're going to cause extra hassle by getting involved? And would a principal allow the teacher to get away with it? It Just doesn't make sense to me.[/QUOTE]


    There are some teachers who take a dislike to certain pupils and pick on them more than other pupils just like some teachers have favourites who can do no wrong in their eyes.
    It is not beyond the realm of possibilities that a teacher can be a bully.


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    #184
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    gormdubhgorm wrote: »
    Either your son feels like he can "take on" the teachers authority or else he is being targeted. Is your son the kind to ignore\challenge authority? Does he like the subject? Does he " put on a show" in front of his classmates? These are the questions you have to ask.

    If your son can keep the head down if the teacher is half way decent he/she will appreciate it.
    I could not help but notice that you said "on the last few ocassions" So it has not been only one teacher has it?

    As I said previously in the past he has been chatty in class but teachers were not overly concerned about him at the last parent teacher meeting all teachers exept for one reported he had settled down very well and had matured the one teacher that had concerns is the one who accused him of kicking a girl and has been watching every move he makes


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    #185
    PinkLemonade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 768 ✭✭✭PinkLemonade


    Juan bu wrote: »
    As I said previously in the past he has been chatty in class but teachers were not overly concerned about him at the last parent teacher meeting all teachers exept for one reported he had settled down very well and had matured the one teacher that had concerns is the one who accused him of kicking a girl and has been watching every move he makes

    Why was he hanging out of her bag? Horse play in the corridors in front of teachers is bound to go down the wrong way. He could learn a lot from this if he takes it on the chin rather than attempt to avenge the alleged injustice


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    #186
    FAILSAFE 00
    Registered Users Posts: 5,419 ✭✭✭FAILSAFE 00


    Juan bu wrote: »
    When the teacher rang me about the incident she said it was a kick when I confronted her face to face she changed her story to he was pulling out of her bag
    She might have been highly intimated into changing her story.

    Are there any other reliable witnesses?


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    #187
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    FAILSAFE 00 wrote: »
    She might have been highly intimated into changing her story.

    Are there any other reliable witnesses?

    Really anymore excuses for the teacher really get a grip


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    #188
    SAMTALK
    Registered Users Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    Sorry OP who changed the story re the bag/kick. The teacher?


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    #189
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    SAMTALK wrote: »
    Sorry OP who changed the story re the bag/kick. The teacher?

    Yes the teacher changed their story


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    #190
    SAMTALK
    Registered Users Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    FAILSAFE 00 wrote: »
    She might have been highly intimated into changing her story.

    Are there any other reliable witnesses?

    Teacher highly intimated by parent.. Unlikely id imagine
    reading your post Id presume you meant the girl in corridor?


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    #191
    2Mad2BeMad
    Registered Users Posts: 2,790 ✭✭✭2Mad2BeMad


    FAILSAFE 00 wrote: »
    She might have been highly intimated into changing her story.

    Are there any other reliable witnesses?

    I had a teacher who hated me. Maybe it was because my older brother gave her a hard time. He finished school and I only entered 3rd yr. I got her for Irish that year as I moved into ordinary level.
    I have a hearing problem and I think we can all agree the radios for listening to Irish were terrible for audio. It was an old tape player not even cd. I couldn't hear it. She would not move me closer, I told her I have a hearing disability. She told me to do my work and stop interrupting.

    The work involved listening to the tape as the tape gave you the answers in Irish were the questions were on the sheet.
    Near end of class she asked me why none of my work was done. I told her why and I got suspended for refusing to do work and apparently I cursed at her. My whole class took my side and told the vice principle I didn't curse. But no THE TEACHER IS ALWAYS RIGHT. My dad told me to apologise and I did.
    The following week I was taken into a class as she refused to teach me.

    To this day I detest my innocence. I ran into her a few yrs later well after finishing school and asked her why did she lie about what happened.
    She wouldn't even acknowledge me.

    The was the first time I was ever in serious trouble and I did nothing wrong.

    Point I'm making is, some teachers hate some students and have no problem giving them detention for the tiniest things.
    The problem here is the ops child is only relieving 20 minutes break out of 7 hours which is not right.
    Doesn't matter what he did to get detention it's not a prison. It's the way the school are handling it that's wrong.

    Their does be cases at least when I was in school a whole class got detention for not telling on their classmates who blocked the classroom door. So what we all suffer 1 of our most important meals of the day or rat on our classmates and get bullied for it.

    Their system is wrong


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    #192
    FAILSAFE 00
    Registered Users Posts: 5,419 ✭✭✭FAILSAFE 00


    Juan bu wrote: »
    Yes the teacher changed their story
    This story keeps changing. Originally it was the girl who got kicked allegedly who said she wasn't kicked after you asked her... Now it's the teacher.


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    #193
    SAMTALK
    Registered Users Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    FAILSAFE 00 wrote: »
    This story keeps changing. Originally it was the girl who got kicked allegedly who said she wasn't kicked after you asked her... Now it's the teacher.

    I took it that girl denied she was kicked and when OP went to teacher about this the teacher then changed her story to say it wasnt a kick but a tugged bag.
    Correct me if im wrong OP


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    #194
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    FAILSAFE 00 wrote: »
    This story keeps changing. Originally it was the girl who got kicked allegedly who said she wasn't kicked after you asked her... Now it's the teacher.

    Ok the teacher rang me about my son kicking a girl ,I then asked the girl the girl said it didn't happen ,then I confronted the teacher face to face and that's when the teacher changed her story of what she had said she had seen my doing


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    #195
    SAMTALK
    Registered Users Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    Juan bu wrote: »
    Ok the teacher rang me about my son kicking a girl ,I then asked the girl the girl said it didn't happen ,then I confronted the teacher face to face and that's when the teacher changed her story of what she had said she had seen my doing

    So can the posters here that have taken the side of teacher not see anything wrong with teacher changing her story???


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    #196
    0lordy
    Registered Users Posts: 366 ✭✭0lordy


    OP, I don't really know what you hope to achieve from this thread. The original question was valid and worthy of discussion, but the sidetrack of the surrounding events is really something that should be discussed with the school, the key issue being clarification around why the school reneged on the deal, if that is the case.

    Anything else is a waste of time and energy by all involved in this discussion, I can't see what anyone is going to achieve from it.


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    #197
    feargale
    Registered Users Posts: 8,636 ✭✭✭feargale


    Juan bu wrote: »
    A teacher in the school was bullying him and one day he got fed up of he he walk out of the class as he had enough and because he walk out of class without permission he was given an in house which I removed him from till I got a meeting with the school to see if we could all resolve the problems it was agreed by both the school and myself that a line would be drawn under everything clean slate fresh start ,for them to go behind my back and break there word about a fresh start and made my son redo the in house

    I've just got this far in the thread and I'm sorry if I'm missing something. You keep saying the teacher was bullying your son. That's ok but could you please be more specific? In what way was your son being bullied? Also you say he is no angel. Could you be more specific about that? If the teacher bullied him causing him to walk out, was the teacher reacting to something, and if so to what?
    It is extremely difficult for anybody here to form an opinion on this, getting only one side of the case. It is well nigh impossible to do so when the story is so vague.


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    #198
    haveringchick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭haveringchick


    SAMTALK wrote: »
    So can the posters here that have taken the side of teacher not see anything wrong with teacher changing her story???

    The OP is changing her story as she's going along
    Can you not see any problem with a parent "confronting " somebody else's child ( let me tell you she wouldn't have got away with "confronting"my child ) and then "confronting " (her own words, she clearly has no other way of dealing with situations) the teacher with her "evidence"?


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    #199
    SAMTALK
    Registered Users Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    haveringchick wrote: »
    The OP is changing her story as she's going along
    Can you not see any problem with a parent "confronting " somebody else's child ( let me tell you she wouldn't have got away with "confronting"my child ) and then "confronting " (her own words, she clearly has no other way of dealing with situations) the teacher with her "evidence"?

    Yes I can see a problem with OP confronting the girl but I think this thread is making out that teachers cant be wrong / that once on detention a pupil will always be a trouble maker / that the mother is blinkered about son.
    I just think that from what the OP has said it does seem as if one teacher seems to have a problem with her son. Surely if he was as bad in all classes he would have been suspended by now.
    I think the day of putting teachers on pedestals is well over and they are human like the rest of us and yes the can make mistakes and yes they can take a dislike to someone


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    #200
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    SAMTALK wrote: »
    Yes I can see a problem with OP confronting the girl but I think this thread is making out that teachers cant be wrong / that once on detention a pupil will always be a trouble maker / that the mother is blinkered about son.
    I just think that from what the OP has said it does seem as if one teacher seems to have a problem with her son. Surely if he was as bad in all classes he would have been suspended by now.
    I think the day of putting teachers on pedestals is well over and they are human like the rest of us and yes the can make mistakes and yes they can take a dislike to someone
    I haven't changed my story people are not reading my posts properly


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    #201
    SAMTALK
    Registered Users Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    Juan bu wrote: »
    I haven't changed my story people are not reading my posts properly

    Some seem to be reading with "teacher tinted" glasses I think!!


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    #202
    haveringchick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭haveringchick


    SAMTALK wrote: »
    Yes I can see a problem with OP confronting the girl but I think this thread is making out that teachers cant be wrong / that once on detention a pupil will always be a trouble maker / that the mother is blinkered about son.
    I just think that from what the OP has said it does seem as if one teacher seems to have a problem with her son. Surely if he was as bad in all classes he would have been suspended by now.
    I think the day of putting teachers on pedestals is well over and they are human like the rest of us and yes the can make mistakes and yes they can take a dislike to someone

    Nobody is putting teachers on a pedestal
    Teachers are only human beings and can take a dislike to a child and find it hard to shake that dislike and that's wrong
    It's just that it hardly ever happens that a teacher takes a dislike to a well behaved pleasant child
    What's clear is that the vast majority of parents are sick and fed up of their kids education being f***ed up by the minority of obnoxious brats and their equally obnoxious parents who seem to think that the school should be grateful to have lovely little Johnny or Mary and the rules only apply to the other kids because both Johnny and the parents think that rules are for losers, and Johnnys not a loser
    The amount of time wasted at the schools dealing with parents who just refuse to accept that the school must impose discipline is ridiculous


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    #203
    SAMTALK
    Registered Users Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    haveringchick wrote: »
    Nobody is putting teachers on a pedestal
    Teachers are only human beings and can take a dislike to a child and find it hard to shake that dislike and that's wrong
    It's just that it hardly ever happens that a teacher takes a dislike to a well behaved pleasant child
    What's clear is that the vast majority of parents are sick and fed up of their kids education being f***ed up by the minority of obnoxious brats and their equally obnoxious parents who seem to think that the school should be grateful to have lovely little Johnny or Mary and the rules only apply to the other kids because both Johnny and the parents think that rules are for losers, and Johnnys not a loser
    The amount of time wasted at the schools dealing with parents who just refuse to accept that the school must impose discipline is ridiculous

    You see from that I take it that there is no inbetween pupils.
    Thats the problem in a lot of schools, They would like the perfect Grade A student who just sits in class quietly .
    Sorry but life is not like that and yes there are some obnoxious brats! but if they are that obnoxious maybe suspend them ...even thought I dont think there is a rule about being obnoxious. Disruptive maybe , obnoxious i doubt.


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    #204
    maggiepip
    Registered Users Posts: 1,099 ✭✭✭maggiepip


    OP if I were you I wouldn't continue the thread. You shouldn't have to continually justify yourself or put up with basically being accused of being a liar. Apart from a couple of level headed posters, the majority here is out to try to prove the teachers in the right and you and your son are in the wrong. Nothing you post will change their minds I fear.


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    #205
    Mary63
    Closed Accounts Posts: 801 ✭✭✭Mary63


    Im assuming now that the student is in first year,I asked what age he was and I don't think we have been told.

    If he is only in first year and there have been other occasions and other detentions this is a lot of trouble to be in so early on.

    What did the comment about"maturing"at the parent teacher meeting mean,does it mean the student had be in trouble previously but his behaviour had now improved.It sounds to me as if the school would love to see the back of him so I would definitely be noting the discipline policy and specifically how many detentions you can get before being suspended.

    Reading between the lines and the amount of contact the OP has had with the school it seems a huge amount of teachers time is being taken up at the expense of other pupils right to an education.

    What was your sons behaviour like in primary school OP.


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    #206
    gormdubhgorm
    Registered Users Posts: 18,704 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    As another poster said horseplay is enough to get detention in some cases. As I said myself OP playfully messing can be enough to get detention.He is making himself a target. Why was he hanging out of a girls bag in the corridor?
    You could go into semantics and discuss whether a kick connected or not but that would be ridiculous. You should be teaching your son that it is one of life's lessons don't be acting the bollix and the teachers would have no excuse to detain you. Simple as that. Instead of which you seem to be looking for any excuse to create a fuss. If he did not kick his friend there was a certain level of boisterous behaviour in the corridor. The teacher might have thought your son kicked her. Hard luck on your son, but he put himself in a situation where he was involved in unruly behaviour.
    This could warrant detention on its own!
    Alternatively your son is lying and his friend is trying to protect him too.
    In either scenario you should be telling your son to cop himself on and accept the detention, because at the very least he was acting the eejit in the corridor. Again I repeat this on its own could warrant detention!
    You are doing yourself no favours by asking whether the detention is legal. You can be sure it is in the school rules.

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



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    #207
    gormdubhgorm
    Registered Users Posts: 18,704 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    SAMTALK wrote: »
    So can the posters here that have taken the side of teacher not see anything wrong with teacher changing her story???
    You also fail to note that the girl her son was supposed to have kicked is one of his friends.(she goes to the OP's home so the info the OP received from the girl might not be accurate?)

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



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    #208
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    Mary63 wrote: »
    Im assuming now that the student is in first year,I asked what age he was and I don't think we have been told.

    If he is only in first year and there have been other occasions and other detentions this is a lot of trouble to be in so early on.

    What did the comment about"maturing"at the parent teacher meeting mean,does it mean the student had be in trouble previously but his behaviour had now improved.It sounds to me as if the school would love to see the back of him so I would definitely be noting the discipline policy and specifically how many detentions you can get before being suspended.

    Reading between the lines and the amount of contact the OP has had with the school it seems a huge amount of teachers time is being taken up at the expense of other pupils right to an education.

    What was your sons behaviour like in primary school OP.
    He is 15 and never any trouble in primary school you all seem to me dismissing the fact that he was accused in the wrong and the school renaged on an agreement


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    #209
    Mr Rhode Island Red
    Registered Users Posts: 746 ✭✭✭Mr Rhode Island Red


    Open boards
    Go to Secondary School Portal
    See "Junior Cert 55 viewing"

    How does one thread do this? There's normally like 20 visitors a week total here


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    #210
    gormdubhgorm
    Registered Users Posts: 18,704 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    Juan bu wrote: »
    He is 15 and never any trouble in primary school you all seem to me dismissing the fact that he was accused in the wrong and the school renaged on an agreement

    What was this mystery agreement OP and why was it enacted in the first place?

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



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    #211
    Juan bu
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭Juan bu


    maggiepip wrote: »
    OP if I were you I wouldn't continue the thread. You shouldn't have to continually justify yourself or put up with basically being accused of being a liar. Apart from a couple of level headed posters, the majority here is out to try to prove the teachers in the right and you and your son are in the wrong. Nothing you post will change their minds I fear.
    Yes a agree


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