Secondary school detention concerns

gormdubhgorm · 17-02-2016 7:03pm

I remember when my Dad was a teacher he would say I don't remember that kid they must have been good pupils! On the other hand he could remember whole families of bad pupils and parents!

Mary63 · 17-02-2016 7:08pm

Why did you refer to problems moving from primary school if he has done almost three years in secondary school,has he been in trouble since first year.

How many meetings have you had with the school,have your been in and out of the school for the last three years.

Its all very unfair on the rest of the class and you will probably find the other students and parents are fed up of your son now,never mind the teachers.

I really think you should let this one go and tell your son for once and for all to keep his head down and stop drawing attention to himself.What is the legal age now for leaving school,is it sixteen,he would be better off leaving and getting a job as soon as possible if he isn't interested in school.

gormdubhgorm · 17-02-2016 7:10pm

Juan bu wrote: »

Yes a agree

Your initial post was about the legally of detention!
The reasons for detention were very slow in coming, reasons disputed by OP but still sounds like enough for detention regardless of either story.
The impression was given that it was his first detention, this changed later.
The impression was given was that he only got into trouble with one teacher, this changed later.
A mystery agreement that was renaged on by the school is now being mentioned repeatedly. Turns out it was clemency deal for a previous\same detention. for the pupil/troublemaker? - a clean slate. Teacher fed up of pupil - says f**k the deal , detention for messing in corridor (at the very least kicking disputed)
Pupil 15 years old.

Stheno · 17-02-2016 7:12pm

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

Your initial post was about the legally of detention!
The reasons for detention were very slow in coming.
The impression was given that it was his first detention, this changed later.
The impression was given was that he only got into trouble with one teacher, this changed later.
A mystery agreement that was reengaged on by the school is now being mentioned repeatedly?

The mystery agreement was that after the last episode where he refused to do the detention and OP took him out of school, he would start off with a clean slate. However OPs issue is that when he went back, the school made him do the detention that he had previously refused to do, despite the "clean slate" agreement being in place.

The_Valeyard · 17-02-2016 7:13pm

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

Your initial post was about the legally of detention!
The reasons for detention were very slow in coming.
The impression was given that it was his first detention, this changed later.
The impression was given was that he only got into trouble with one teacher, this changed later.
A mystery agreement that was renaged on by the school is now being mentioned repeatedly?

Its one of those evolving stories

gormdubhgorm · 17-02-2016 7:14pm

Stheno wrote: »

The mystery agreement was that after the last episode where he refused to do the detention and OP took him out of school, he would start off with a clean slate. However OPs issue is that when he went back, the school made him do the detention that he had previously refused to do, despite the "clean slate" agreement being in place.

Oh right a clemency deal!

Stheno · 17-02-2016 7:16pm

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

Oh right a clemency deal!

Yeah but I think OP thought the original sentence of detention was suspended as part of the deal

JohnBee · 17-02-2016 7:16pm

OP is you need help, I will actually provide a ladder to help you and your son down of you pedestal, and even offer up my spare time to help you build the worlds tiniest bridge to get over this tiny molehill.

In a way I pity your son. What he needs is a parent who tells him to cop on, do the detention, and get on with what is hopefully a long and healthy life. What your son DOES NOT need is a parent creating one huge fuss, which will no doubt irritate the teachers and principal and potentially mark him out as the guy with the crazy parent.

gormdubhgorm · 17-02-2016 7:32pm

Stheno wrote: »

Yeah but I think OP thought the original sentence of detention was suspended as part of the deal

Ah now the penny has dropped OP thinks clean slate means forget about original detention, when he fact they meant clean slate following detention and "let's start a fresh everyone" type comment

Juan bu · 17-02-2016 7:33pm

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

What was this mystery agreement OP and why was it enacted in the first place?

There was an agreement was made and it's no mystery I explained in earlier posts maybe you should read the thread

Juan bu · 17-02-2016 7:34pm

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

Ah now the penny has dropped OP thinks clean slate means forget about original detention, when he fact they meant clean slate following detention and "let's start a fresh everyone" type comment

No you are wrong sorry to inform you

the_pen_turner · 17-02-2016 7:39pm

the only detail I see missing is
on the day he walked out, what did the teacher say or do that made him walk out.
if the teacher was bulling him then he was right to walk out but if the teacher was chastising him for doing wrong in the class then your son was wrong to walk out.

I have seen a few cases in my years in school a decade ago where students were singled out or 'bullied' by teachers. it happens all the time. every teacher has their favourites and least favourites. sometime teachers act out based on that

tayto lover · 17-02-2016 7:43pm

barney 20v wrote: »

Two 10 minute breaks to consume lunch ?
Sufficient ?? I think not.
Wouldn't be acceptable on a work environment with adults, why is it ok with kids?

Any teacher forcing such a policy on my kids would I assure you, not give me " the short shrift"

All for detention when required.

With regard to some of the overly-heavy children I see coming out of schools their diet is very poor and 10 minutes is enough time for anyone to consume enough food to live healthily.

byhookorbycrook · 17-02-2016 7:57pm

the_pen_turner wrote: »

the only detail I see missing is
on the day he walked out, what did the teacher say or do that made him walk out.
if the teacher was bulling him then he was right to walk out but if the teacher was chastising him for doing wrong in the class then your son was wrong to walk out.

If this child has been bullied by the teacher, then I'd have expected the Principal and VP to take the allegations extremely seriously. A proven allegation of bullying against a teacher would -rightly- be a cause for disciplinary action.

A class full of teenagers would be pretty quick to let the people investigating the allegations know if they felt there was truth in them.

OP, would you prefer your son be suspended and you had to have him at home for the day instead? He is not missing his education in this way,but if you would prefer to keep him at home for misbehavior, that is up to you.

And as to not settling in from primary, he is in 3rd year, I think he has had plenty time, don't you?

Juan bu · 17-02-2016 7:59pm

JohnBee wrote: »

OP is you need help, I will actually provide a ladder to help you and your son down of you pedestal, and even offer up my spare time to help you build the worlds tiniest bridge to get over this tiny molehill.

In a way I pity your son. What he needs is a parent who tells him to cop on, do the detention, and get on with what is hopefully a long and healthy life. What your son DOES NOT need is a parent creating one huge fuss, which will no doubt irritate the teachers and principal and potentially mark him out as the guy with the crazy parent.

Ok so you reckon I should allow an adult to bully a minor and say nothing just so teachers can do and say what they like and get away with it ,yeah that sounds totally ok ,NOT

Juan bu · 17-02-2016 8:02pm

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

If this child has been bullied by the teacher, then I'd have expected the Principal and VP to take the allegations extremely seriously. A proven allegation of bullying against a teacher would -rightly- be a cause for disciplinary action.

A class full of teenagers would be pretty quick to let the people investigating the allegations know if they felt there was truth in them.

OP, would you prefer your son be suspended and you had to have him at home for the day instead? He is not missing his education in this way,but if you would prefer to keep him at home for misbehavior, that is up to you.

And as to not settling in from primary, he is in 3rd year, I think he has had plenty time, don't you?

I agree and he has settled down in the beginning he found it difficult is what I said and as for my preference s I would prefer him to be able to attend school without teachers accusing him in the wrong and when teachers make agreement s they stick to them

Juan bu · 17-02-2016 8:07pm

JohnBee wrote: »

OP is you need help, I will actually provide a ladder to help you and your son down of you pedestal, and even offer up my spare time to help you build the worlds tiniest bridge to get over this tiny molehill.

In a way I pity your son. What he needs is a parent who tells him to cop on, do the detention, and get on with what is hopefully a long and healthy life. What your son DOES NOT need is a parent creating one huge fuss, which will no doubt irritate the teachers and principal and potentially mark him out as the guy with the crazy parent.

I dont uneed or want your pity and either does my son so you can keep it for yourself as your going to need it because your thinking is very narrow minded and if you are not willing to stand up for your child if they are accused in the wrong well that's just lazy parenting you go ahead and let your child be walked all over but that is just not my style

evolving_doors · 17-02-2016 8:07pm

Juan bu wrote: »

Ok so you reckon I should allow an adult to bully a minor and say nothing just so teachers can do and say what they like and get away with it ,yeah that sounds totally ok ,NOT

What type of resolution do you want?

Juan bu · 17-02-2016 8:56pm

Gebgbegb wrote: »

What type of resolution do you want?

Fair play and honesty

byhookorbycrook · 17-02-2016 8:59pm

Juan bu wrote: »

I agree and he has settled down in the beginning he found it difficult is what I said and as for my preference s I would prefer him to be able to attend school without teachers accusing him in the wrong and when teachers make agreement s they stick to them

Teachers- so more than one?

17-02-2016 9:19pm

Juan bu wrote: »

Fair play and honesty

Let's hope this is the outcome.

Mary63 · 17-02-2016 10:03pm

I really think miscommunication or maybe OP only listening to what she wants to hear is the problem.

If you contact the school Op you can clarify is the clean slate meant doing the detention and then starting off afresh or did it mean the detention didn't have to be done.Why would the school change its mind about the detention,is it because you cornered the girl who your son was alleged to have kicked and she concurred with your view,i.e. your son didn't kick her.

evolving_doors · 17-02-2016 10:29pm

Juan bu wrote: »

Fair play and honesty

That's fair enough I suppose.

What does your son want from the situation? If he's 15 then would he would probably be doing the mocks now before the Junior cert! Is he thinking that all of this 'he said/she said/my mother said/the teacher said/the principal said' will distract from his learning?

Is he/are you concerned about his studies?

Juan bu · 17-02-2016 10:54pm

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Teachers- so more than one?

Sorry one teacher accused him and the principal ,vice principal and the teacher made the agreement

Juan bu · 17-02-2016 10:57pm

Gebgbegb wrote: »

That's fair enough I suppose.

What does your son want from the situation? If he's 15 then would he would probably be doing the mocks now before the Junior cert! Is he thinking that all of this 'he said/she said/my mother said/the teacher said/the principal said' will distract from his learning?

Is he/are you concerned about his studies?

Of course I'm concerned about his studies and his junior cert that goes without saying this is why I wanted the issues resolved and was satisfied with the agreement that was made ,that was until the school renaged on the agreement

Stheno · 17-02-2016 10:58pm

Juan bu wrote: »

Of course I'm concerned about his studies and his junior cert that goes without saying this is why I wanted the issues resolved and was satisfied with the agreement that was made ,that was until the school renaged on the agreement

DId the agreement on a clean slate explicitly include him not having to do the outstanding detention?

Juan bu · 17-02-2016 11:14pm

Stheno wrote: »

DId the agreement on a clean slate explicitly include him not having to do the outstanding detention?

Look I don't know what a clean slate fresh start means in your world but in mine it means all is forgiven and forgotten about

aunt aggie · 17-02-2016 11:15pm

Juan bu wrote: »

Look I don't know what a clean slate fresh start means in your world but in mine it means all is forgiven and forgotten about

So you didn't get explicit clarification from the school?? This thread is beyond a joke. I really hope your meeting with school next week is more productive.

Stheno · 17-02-2016 11:17pm

Juan bu wrote: »

Look I don't know what a clean slate fresh start means in your world but in mine it means all is forgiven and forgotten about

I'd say that's your problem there. He was given detention that he refused to do, you took him out of school and then expected that when you went back in and agreed to a fresh start that he'd not have to do the outstanding detention.

BrianBoru00 · 17-02-2016 11:21pm

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

Such as? The rest of your post doesn't reference any mental gymnastics I have preformed so would you like to elaborate?

Some (including yourself) have attempted to put forward the teachers side by ignoring statements the OP made. Now if you legitimately think the OP is lying then fine, but if you do not then the position you and others put forward doesn't make sense. If the teacher genuinely saw a kick then why would she later changer her story? If the teacher believed the girl is lying about the kick to save her friend trouble then she would have stated that and stuck to her original story instead of changing it.

What holes? I've seen other people misreading and misquoting the OP, but I have not seen any holes in anything the OP has posted.

So because the OP used the word bullying we should dismiss half the points they are making as made up?

You could try actually reading the OP's posts, that might be a good place to start. They stated that it was all day detention. That has been stated multiple times through out the thread.

So either people not reading the thread, in which case why bother posting at all? Or they are being wilfully ignorant because "how dare someone accuse a teacher of bullying!".

On your mental gymnastics:

The amount of mental gymnastics going on in here to try to defend a teacher is clearly in the wrong is astounding.

It is far from clear. The only information we have is that the OP claims that a teacher is bullying her son. We're told the teacher changes her story from it being a kick to . . .and what exactly the teacher changed it to, we haven't got clarity.

On holes in the story:

What holes are in my story ??

1. The OPs son is being disciplined by being placed in the form teachers room for the entire day. There is no school in the country which has this policy for anything less than a serious or continuous breach of discipline yet we're being told that the son is being bullied - that doesn't add up as many contributors have said.
2. The OP claims her son gets only one 20 minute break during the day which is presumably during lunch meaning that he doesn't get the 10/15 minute morning break which is standard in any school I know of. If this is the case then the form teacher gets no break either which is most unusual.
3. you "removed him from detention" as the situation is "a little complicated" - that's a whole lot of holes right there - you jump right to bullying to explain the detention.

As regards reading the posts - I did.
The OP has yet to clarify (unless I missed it ) if there was a problem with any other teacher so we can only surmise there wasn't. In this case she has removed him from school because of one single teacher = more holes

As regards people coming down "on the teachers side".
Well to be fair - she s not here to defend herself.
Could she be bullying the student? Of course she could. But we haven't got all of the facts - we're only going by one posters comments - so we're getting most of the information second hand.

To recap on the facts the OP has told us :
Her son has been withdrawn from general class population and placed in the room of their year head.
She also claims a particular teacher has bullied her son (without providing any information as to how this manifests itself.

It may seem that many people are on the teachers side but you seem oblivious to the fact that your doing the opposite and taking the OPs side and taking their word for what happened as fact. Being dubious about the OP & sons stories is not putting the teacher on a pedestal.

Secondary school detention concerns

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