Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Hugo Stiglitz

MrsYelnekoff wrote: »

One thing my therapist said is to try and figure out when the panic attacks happen and say 'I'm ready now, lets get this panic started' It helps only sometimes. It's meant to give back some control.

I was told that. I can't bring myself to say it though.

Stealthfins

I sometimes get depressed and it's very intense when it happens.
It puts all types of thoughts into your head,I get very sensitive and need space.
Luckily my family and girlfriend are aware when I get restless.
6 years ago I hit a real dark patch it was horrific,my head was spinning for weeks.
Until my gp suggested ssri's.
Was on them for daily for 6 months,they really worked I was on 50mg of seratriline a day.
Tapered off them after 7 months.

Now I'm back on them again,they're working faster this time.
Into my 7th day and the thoughts are slowing down.
My GP says the reason I get down is because my serotonin levels drops and the medication helps bring it back to a safe level.
I was lucky,as I was on a low dose and they didn't make me over eat,over sleep or get spaced out.
They just took away the fear and anxiety.
Depression is horrible

I also attended therapy and had great support.

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I was told that. I can't bring myself to say it though.

It's one of those things that made (and still make) me cringe to say at times but it does get easier, my psych was discussing how repetition helps with 'rewiring the brain' not to get too technical with science stuff i don't really understand myself!.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's one of those things that made (and still make) me cringe to say at times but it does get easier, my psych was discussing how repetition helps with 'rewiring the brain' not to get too technical with science stuff i don't really understand myself!.

I'm starting off with just trying to bring my attention back to the present, rather than being sad about the past or nervous about the future. I'll hold off on goading the anxiety for the moment!

Gremlinertia

Ah I see, it all takes time.. I have to, HAVE to remember to keep my practice up when I'm feeling ok though, always trip up there.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Ah I see, it all takes time.. I have to, HAVE to remember to keep my practice up when I'm feeling ok though, always trip up there.

I didn't even consider that! Thanks for the heads up, Grem.

Pablodreamsofnew

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I was told that. I can't bring myself to say it though.

I felt like a fool saying it to myself too but when I am in a panic and think I'm going to die, I'll try anything. I make sure I'm by myself though when I do say it :o

Hugo Stiglitz

MrsYelnekoff wrote: »

I felt like a fool saying it to myself too but when I am in a panic and think I'm going to die, I'll try anything. I make sure I'm by myself though when I do say it :o

No need for the around here. This is a safe place! (That being said, I am prone to using a lot though!)

Turtle_

Hi mrsY, I dunno what help it is, but just at my last session my therapist made a good point. Just because you have a set back doesn't mean you'll go all the way back.

You're recovering from a trauma. Try to cut yourself some slack. Anyone would be emotionally all over the place. Anyone would be anxious. Just remember you have supports around you, you have skills you can use and be reminded to use. Finding coping difficult after a traumatic crash is very normal. It doesn't mean that you're moving backwards, just that life got a lot harder very quickly.

via4

Hi all I'm new to the group. The stage of my anxiety is where I can't attend most family events. My father is aware of my anxiety but says "I can't understand why you can't just go to these things and be happy". I don't like to bring everyone around me down so I avoid the events if I am not in good form as I don't feel it's fair on the partygoers. My father went to town with attacking my character yesterday. He let rip asking me why I don't go to things and I said because I am not feeling happy and I feel lonely and I have no support. He proceeded to tell me all I ever did was give out on the phone when I was a teenager( every teenage girl gossips on the phone with their friends) and that my sister had to put up with listening to me for years. He must have had a lot of built of anger towards me. He's not a very approachable man and he tends to snap at everything I say. I gave up a few years ago n I don't talk to them about my life. I feel like I can't win with him if I talk he snaps and when I don't he shouts "answer me!!!!" When I answer the insults of my character continue. So I go quiet again I just let him ramble on and I sit in silence until he's finished. Yesterday I came clean about waiting for my therapy appointment to come in order to show him I am trying to get better but he said ' I can't understand why you can't just go to the other man". I tried a man before but I didn't get good vibes from him he just sat with an expressionless face and I didn't like that but I couldn't say that to dad cos he would have screamed and said "well that's your own fault". I gave up a few years ago I Don't want a relationship with him I'm fine with this but he wants me to go up and sit in his house. But that gives him a platform to verbally attack me so I avoid this by not going up. I like to be around positive ppl that I feel care about me. I feel very worn out this week. I am going to make a plan to get back into the gym and eat healthy again. I feel this along with avoiding negativity helps with my anxiety. With my dad I'm not allowed to have feelings opinions or emotions. So I developed a robotic mode around him where I don't show any emotion or talk. I found in the past when I was struggling with a problem if I looked for advice or help I was told I was a grumpy bitch who would never meet anyone nice because I am not a nice person. I decided not to spaEk to my family about my problems after a while. If something good happened me I would be happy and excited so naturally I wanted to tell them and it would be met by negativity and snide comments. I eventually stopped talking altogether. My life is kind of a mystery to them iv had relationships they know nothing about as far as they are concerned no man wants me due to my horrible personality but I was with someone for ten years they don't know this. Right now I am wanting to focus on recovery rather than trying to please people. If this offends my father than so be it. I want to get better and feel stronger in myself. He says my problem is I hold on to things that happened years ago and I avoid situations if there is someone there I don't like and he said I shouldn't do this. But he keeps bringing up the past telling me about all my wrongdoings about letting off a bit of steam on the phone to my friends. Maybe I just felt a little stressed I was a teenage parent n I was in college full time and working I started college when my child was one so I kind of put it down to stress why I felt the need to have a bit of a moan on the phone every now and again. He sees this as the worst thing I have done in my life.

Hugo Stiglitz

via4 wrote: »

Hi all I'm new to the group. The stage of my anxiety is where I can't attend most family events. My father is aware of my anxiety but says "I can't understand why you can't just go to these things and be happy". I don't like to bring everyone around me down so I avoid the events if I am not in good form as I don't feel it's fair on the partygoers. My father went to town with attacking my character yesterday. He let rip asking me why I don't go to things and I said because I am not feeling happy and I feel lonely and I have no support. He proceeded to tell me all I ever did was give out on the phone when I was a teenager( every teenage girl gossips on the phone with their friends) and that my sister had to put up with listening to me for years. He must have had a lot of built of anger towards me. He's not a very approachable man and he tends to snap at everything I say. I gave up a few years ago n I don't talk to them about my life. I feel like I can't win with him if I talk he snaps and when I don't he shouts "answer me!!!!" When I answer the insults of my character continue. So I go quiet again I just let him ramble on and I sit in silence until he's finished. Yesterday I came clean about waiting for my therapy appointment to come in order to show him I am trying to get better but he said ' I can't understand why you can't just go to the other man". I tried a man before but I didn't get good vibes from him he just sat with an expressionless face and I didn't like that but I couldn't say that to dad cos he would have screamed and said "well that's your own fault". I gave up a few years ago I Don't want a relationship with him I'm fine with this but he wants me to go up and sit in his house. But that gives him a platform to verbally attack me so I avoid this by not going up. I like to be around positive ppl that I feel care about me. I feel very worn out this week. I am going to make a plan to get back into the gym and eat healthy again. I feel this along with avoiding negativity helps with my anxiety. With my dad I'm not allowed to have feelings opinions or emotions. So I developed a robotic mode around him where I don't show any emotion or talk. I found in the past when I was struggling with a problem if I looked for advice or help I was told I was a grumpy bitch who would never meet anyone nice because I am not a nice person. I decided not to spaEk to my family about my problems after a while. If something good happened me I would be happy and excited so naturally I wanted to tell them and it would be met by negativity and snide comments. I eventually stopped talking altogether. My life is kind of a mystery to them iv had relationships they know nothing about as far as they are concerned no man wants me due to my horrible personality but I was with someone for ten years they don't know this. Right now I am wanting to focus on recovery rather than trying to please people. If this offends my father than so be it. I want to get better and feel stronger in myself. He says my problem is I hold on to things that happened years ago and I avoid situations if there is someone there I don't like and he said I shouldn't do this. But he keeps bringing up the past telling me about all my wrongdoings about letting off a bit of steam on the phone to my friends. Maybe I just felt a little stressed I was a teenage parent n I was in college full time and working I started college when my child was one so I kind of put it down to stress why I felt the need to have a bit of a moan on the phone every now and again. He sees this as the worst thing I have done in my life.

Welcome to the thread.

I'm so sorry to hear of your troubled relationship with your father.

I'm glad to here that you're trying to be positive about your recovery though. Hopefully that'll go from strength to strength and you'll be in a better place.

Please feel free to keep on posting here. It's a fantastic safe spot for support and comradeship.

via4

Thank you hugo��Don't get me wrong I have my faults I'm trying to become a better person��I went up to the house today to build bridges it went ok��Glad I did...I treated myself to new clothes so Guna get back into the swing of things. Looking forward to getting my life back on track defo thank you x

via4

Sorry those question marks are supposed to be smiley faces haha

mickstupp

Need advice.

My friend does not understand something and I don't know how to explain it to her. She's a wonderful friend who has literally saved my life on a number of occasions. But sometimes it feels like she's wilfully not understanding.

Recently I agreed to meet her and two others that I know in a pub. I didn't want to go, but knew I should, for my own good, to not be alone, and to be around good kind people. So I went. And I was on doctor's orders, literally, to stay for as long as I could handle it. It took a lot of effort to go. And I had a drink (non-alcoholic) and ordered food. By the time food arrived I was ready to run away screaming. But stayed. Tried to get through it. And couldn't, so I finished my food and went for the next train. My exit was rather abrupt.

I was explaining as part of a different conversation today how I'm trying my best to get through this. Her opinion was that I sure wasn't trying in the pub. But I was. In fact I try every single waking second. I'm doing nothing but trying all the time for years, for decades in fact. That's all my life is... trying to deal with my own insides. But she doesn't think I was trying, thinks in fact that I've already given up.

How can I explain this to her? That everything is a serious and genuine effort when you're like this. That when you can't see a way out, it doesn't actually mean you've stopped looking.

Or can you point me to a site or resource that explains this stuff to people who don't suffer from it?

Euphoria Intensifies

Could you show her what you wrote there mickstupp? Or text it to her or something? I think what you've written explains it very succinctly. But then again, I'm coming from a similar place as you. Maybe to the outside looking in, it isn't as clear. But give it a try anyways.

And welcome to the thread via4!

mickstupp

Yeah, I did that. We've been back and forth for two hours now. It ain't getting through.

whatismyname

@mickstupp

Don't know if it'd be much use if you've already been trying for a while.

But what you wrote / asked made me think of the Black Dog video. Have you seen it?

What you wrote made me think of a few bits of video, but particularly the 'Doing anything or going anywhere with the black dog took super-human strength' bit.

via4

I was going to say show her the message as well because you give a really good clear explanation there. Are you guys messaging back and forth for two hours? Would it be possible to give her a ring and try and explain that you are trying going into the pub was your Mount Everest and that was your achievement for that day. You did well going!

mickstupp

Well that conversation went south very fast. I'm going to curl up now and do nothing for a year.

via4

What happened mick??

Pablodreamsofnew

mickstupp wrote: »

Well that conversation went south very fast. I'm going to curl up now and do nothing for a year.

I feel your pain. Trying to get across how tough anxiety or depression is to someone who never suffered it is very hard. It's like banging your head of a brick wall. It is really tough for me to even meet a friend for coffee and when I do, I'm exhausted afterwards. On the outside I'm sure the friend doesn't even notice or maybe thinks I'm rude but the fact that I got a bus into see them is major. If your friend can't understand how much of an effort it is for you to even meet at the pub, then I don't know what you can say?!

Could you arrange for a night at your place or would do not make a difference? Hope she understands somehow.

StripedBoxers

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

What kind of work are you doing with your OT, if you don't mind me asking? Had my first appointment with mine today ... hard to know where to start!

StripedBoxers wrote: »

Thanks Hugo

Yeah sure no bother. I'm eating right now but I'll do up a post and come back with it in a bit

If you've any other questions etc feel free to ask

StripedBoxers wrote: »

Quick update: I am still working on this post, its quite detailed and lengthy as I am trying to include everything so far and explain in detail for those who may be interested.

If anyone has any questions feel free to ask and I'll try to answer them as best I can

Here is the information. If you've any other questions, want more info etc, fire away and ask

I want to start off by saying I have two types of Anxiety: General Anxiety and Social Anxiety.

I attend Occupational Therapy for Anxiety Management. Currently I am still under assessment, in my locality assessments take 6-9 months because there are only two therapists and a lot of patients. I have been under assessment since Aug/Sept of last year and currently I am about half way through my assessment, however I expect to continue OT for over a year at least with my appointments being every two weeks as for me personally that is sufficient, however each individual different and you may require weekly therapy for a shorter amount of time etc.

For my first appointment last Aug/Sept, it took about 2-3 hours if I remember correctly, I basically went in, sat down and we both treated it as if it was a counselling session. I told my therapist everything that had happened and was currently happening, explained about my illnesses, how they affected me, my triggers etc. techniques, tricks etc. that I used to calm myself when I am anxious or worked up or stressed etc.

Each appointment I go through how I have been in the two weeks between each appointment, if anything happens I tell her (though usually I ring her straight away and leave a voice mail and tell her as she prefers that, but each therapist is different), we talk about whatever it is that happened (if anything at all), we try and look at the positives (if there are any, if something bad happened, then we look at the strength of getting through it as the positive of whatever it is that happened).

If nothing bad/awful has happened I tell her what has gone on in my life and we talk about it, how it affected it, made me feel etc.

Generally, the first stage of assessment (in my experience) is finding out about you, your illness(es), your triggers, how your illnesses are triggered (mine are triggered by the environment I am in at that time), how I calm myself down in such situations, environments. If I am anxious at home, why am I anxious, what triggered it, how do I calm myself down again etc. What do I do to help me relax (exercise, long hot bath, walk, light candles, do nails etc.).

I am currently attending therapeutic groups to help me with my social anxiety. I have a severe phobia of joining regular (i.e.: non mental health groups, always have done) groups so the smaller group which are run by the Occupational Therapy dept. here are great as everyone who attends has a mental health issue and we are all there for the same reason so unlike “regular” groups there isn’t a stigma or label attached to those who attend.

They can be daunting at first but after the first group it does get easier esp. as a lot of the same faces will be at different groups.

I’ve made two very good friends so far from one group, we meet up regularly, text regularly, and have since joined up more mental health groups. I have found the mental health groups much easier because there is no stigma/label or judging: we’re all there for the same reason: we all have (a) mental health issue(s).

I am unsure as to how long more I will be under assessment, however when I “pass” the assessment stage and I am official on the Occupational Therapy list the Occupational Therapy nurse’s will call out to the house every so often (usually every 4-6 weeks, in between therapy visits I think.)

Currently I am working on my future plans and goals, what I want to achieve, when I would like to achieve them by, what can I do to help me achieve them.

For me personally I want to get a job so my therapy involves doing the groups to help my social anxiety and panic attacks, learning how to cope in triggering environments, situations etc.

The groups also help with socialising (obviously), making new friends, trying new things, finding new interests and hobbies, building up my confidence and self-esteem, the goal of this is to become part of larger groups in future. Not necessarily sports, arts, music, drama etc. just large groups in general, for me, I struggle hugely with things like weddings, parties etc. I tend to just blend in as much as possible because I am so anxious I struggle with making and holding conversations, interacting with others etc.

The groups I attend are great as they are small in numbers (numbers range from 4-20), there is a mixed age group as well which is fantastic and they run for a number of weeks so you have enough time to build relationships with others in the group and make new friends.

Attending the group isn’t easy, especially the first couple of times but once you get over the first 3-4 times they become easier as you become more familiar with the group and those attending.

The first group I attended, I swore I wouldn’t go back after the first day, and I missed the second day as I found it incredibly tough and challenging, but on the third week I went back after gentle persuasion from my occupational therapist and I am really glad I did go back as it gave me the confidence and courage to join other groups and slowly build up my confidence. I still can’t handle big groups, only smaller groups but over time I am sure I will be able be okay within bigger groups, though it will be a while before I get there.

La.de.da

Mind is racing a million miles a minute.
Feeling very detached and overwhelmed.

Gremlinertia

La.de.da wrote: »

Mind is racing a million miles a minute.
Feeling very detached and overwhelmed.

I hear ya, despite working an unorthodox schedule i still get sunday blues or something so my mind starts kicking off too. At the moment I'm all about the breathing and the focus it needs to be aware of it without affecting it..

mansize

My sleep pattern is all over the place, I'm in a rut and no mistake

La.de.da

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I hear ya, despite working an unorthodox schedule i still get sunday blues or something so my mind starts kicking off too. At the moment I'm all about the breathing and the focus it needs to be aware of it without affecting it..

Yeah I get ya. Been watching a few movies to try focus my attention.

Few big decisions in the pipeline that are really scaring the bejaysus out of me.
Change is something that doesn't come easy.
Just afraid I'm going to burn out. Exhausted as it is.

La.de.da

mansize wrote: »

My sleep pattern is all over the place, I'm in a rut and no mistake

I hear ya. It's rotten.

carzony

mansize wrote: »

My sleep pattern is all over the place, I'm in a rut and no mistake

Same as me mate. Drives me crazy and makes me look dying through the day.


These new beta blockers are no use to me. My irratic breathing, feeling on numbness and panic feeling are still present.. Don't see the use of them if they just stop heart beating and the shakes fs

Turtle_

carzony wrote: »

Same as me mate. Drives me crazy and makes me look dying through the day.


These new beta blockers are no use to me. My irratic breathing, feeling on numbness and panic feeling are still present.. Don't see the use of them if they just stop heart beating and the shakes fs

That's unfortunate that you aren't seeing a big benefit. Probably best to keep taking them so that when you do get to see the psychiatrist you can say that you're taking them properly but they aren't effective enough.

StripedBoxers

Horrendous day today. Feel like there is someone sitting on my shoulders weighing me down.