Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

jsms88

I go though very similar stuff to you veganrun.

It makes the day seem very long when you're always waiting for something bad to happen at any moment.

Distractions! They really help if you can find one that's works for you.

inca2

After 19 months of being sick, I was diagnosed with a form of inflammatory bowel disease on Wednesday. It sounds ridiculous but I can't actually express how happy I am about it. I finally have an answer. I have spent most of those 19 months being dismissed by doctors and this has taken such a serious toll on my mental health. Having a trusted professional tell you that your debilitating symptoms are not serious (irritable bowel syndrome) or that they are caused by anxiety or that you're imagining them is just crushing. Thankfully, a bit of persistence and a third opinion got me what I was looking for, as well as an incredibly supportive doctor, who couldn't believe what I've been through. My most recent blood tests and other investigations show the most obvious picture of serious illness. Things really do happen for a reason sometimes - though it took a lot of time and effort, I know now that I have found a professional who is really going to provide me with the best of treatment and care. In itself, this disease is going to affect my mental health dreadfully, I have no doubts about that. But for now (even if it's only in the very short-term), I feel like a small weight has been lifted. Considering the miserable dark cloud I've been under, I never thought I would be able to say that. Hang in there everyone, even the briefest moments of relief are worth it.

veganrun

Thanks jsms88.

Kind of had a bad nights sleep because of this. I woke a few times during the night and feel like I've been tossing and turning for the last hour or two. I even had a very short dream of my manager giving me not so good feedback WTF? But then I also had a dream about flying back from Tenerife and there being a problem with the plane and being stuck in Tunisia for 2 days until they fixed it and a relative being there, no idea where that came from.

I do get that general sense of dread from time to time. As soon as I start to worry about something I start thinking it serves me right for making future plans or if I don't have plans that I could never go through with them as look how stressed I am over X.

The interesting thing is that everyone else on the team didn't seem at all stressed or nervous/worried about having their reviews, it didn't seem to stop them doing things. Don't know why I make such a big deal out of the things.

trixiebust

Well done on finding a good doctor, I've changed mine too, in the last month. I'm so frustrated, because I feel she's worse than my previous.
I had blood tests that showed a high white blood cell count, which returned to normal on a second test. Nurse thought the first result was stress related, but the doctor dismissed this out of hand. The thoughts of changing doctor again, fill me with dread, explain everything over & over again, but no-one seems to listen.

veganrun

Sorry to hear that Trixie. I don't like going to the doctor as I'm always petrified they will want to do blood tests and will find something!

trixiebust

Thanks. I've so much going through my head all day. Mortgage arrears, dealing with MABS, trying to relocate to home to Kerry, when we lose the house.

Dealing with the county council for a relocation is not easy. Also trying to deal with Social Welfare, a task in itself, and that's only the start. Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Social anxiety is also a constant, and my doctor doesn't seem to listen. Had a chest x-ray yesterday,the doctor's orders, because of the night sweats I'm having.

I know all these are stress / anxiety related, but she doesn't seem to listen.

Rant over ( again...)

veganrun

My review was pushed back to Monday. Wanted to get it out of the way today and I was all pumped up for it but in the end it was energy wasted.

Hopefully it will be ok on Monday.

Tell me how

veganrun wrote:

Hopefully it will be ok on Monday.

Sure it will be. Enjoy the weekend.

LegacyUser

So i have been struggling with anxiety for some years, it started over a particular issue and just spiraled out of control, its now infected other aspects of my daily life, mainly how i feel about myself, my self image and confidence. I struggle to face people, be they family or strangers.

I don't have a job, I spend days on end confined to my room, I have no friends anymore, nothing.

Im on quite a lot of medication and have already taken everything there is to take for anxiety at this stage which is worrying because im still very bad, its numbing me which is probably the only thing keeping me alive so id hate to see what id be like if it was cut down or I was taken off it. Im involved with my local mental health services but they only see me for maybe once a month for however long and its not always the same person, im waiting for counselling but thats failed before, I won't get into details but now self harm is involved so its getting worse.

I just feel in decline. Im in my twenties, im still young but feel old and at the end of life rather than the start, I see family members my age starting families, getting married, having kids and I know It will never happen to me, even if I could i wouldn't bring someone into my life, I wouldn't drag anyone down with me.

Its hard to believe now bit I used to have somewhat of a life, friends an active social life and its all gone and never coming back, if it wasn't for one person I wouldn't be here, they are the only thing saving me, im literally on a knife edge.

Honestly I feel like a mistake, something chemically or biologically went wrong somewhere along the way and created me, an amalgam of mistakes.

LegacyUser

Hi guys, I'm sure this has been asked before, but as people are talking about changing doctors, are there any private psychiatrists anyone has had positive experiences with? Looking for one who specialises in anxiety disorders, is understanding, preferably isn't a benzophobe, and welcomes the patient's input.

jsms88

veganrun wrote: »

Anxiety is up this morning. Had some bad dreams which left me feeling stressed when I woke and now the health anxiety has kicked in. Then I start to think bad things are going to happen as I somehow deserve it for any bad stuff I've done in the past.

I'm feeing like this today. I had to get up early to catch a flight so I didn't get much sleep. Now I'm trying to just stay calm and rational but I'm only just keeping full blown anxiety at bay. I hope I can get through the next two days until I get home.

veganrun

You will be grand jsms88. You are braver than me, I haven't been out of the country since 2012 mostly due to anxiety about being on a plane.

jsms88

veganrun wrote: »

You will be grand jsms88. You are braver than me, I haven't been out of the country since 2012 mostly due to anxiety about being on a plane.

That's really common these days. I know a few people that have refused to fly since 9/11. You're definitely not alone there.

veganrun

What's stupid for me is that I've flown a fair bit in the past.  I've been to the US and to Australia and NZ before and while I never loved flying, I could always tolerate it.  Ever since my worry became full blown anxiety in 2012 I've had a bit of trouble with the thoughts of long haul flying.  It's like in my head I think "I can't hack being stuck in that metal can for 8 hours and being unable to get off if I start to freak out.  If I do freak out, it's an awful long journey to be losing the plot and then I have to do it all over again to get back home, otherwise I'm stranded abroad forever".  It's at this point I usually just sort of mentally throw my hands up in the air and say to myself "Ah well, f*** it, I guess that's it, you can't go anywhere now".

It hasn't been a huge blocking issue for me so far as I haven't had any real huge urge's to fly anywhere far away on holiday.  A couple of years ago a job wanted me to go to the US for a trip but I was mega-stressed with starting the new job and with my anxiety so I didn't go.  It doesn't really bother me as I never had any desire to visit the city in question anyway and it would have been unlikely I would have ever went there anyway even if I loved flying, but I guess what irritates me a bit is that this anxiety is there.

Part of me kind of wishes I could just book a ticket and if I feel like going, go, but if I don't then it's a huge amount of money wasted.  Also it's not the type of thing you can kind of do on a whim and it does require a certain amount of pre-planning and notice to people.  I'm not sure what the answer is.  I thought about doing an EasyJet Fear of Flying course but in my mind I'm going "That's a waste of time, you can do a 1hr flight, it's the 8 hour plus flights being stuck inside the plane that you will have trouble with".  Although I know part of this is mostly just imagined in my head.  The downside is that I can't really face it without forking out a huge amount of money.

jsms88

veganrun wrote: »

What's stupid for me is that I've flown a fair bit in the past.  I've been to the US and to Australia and NZ before and while I never loved flying, I could always tolerate it.  Ever since my worry became full blown anxiety in 2012 I've had a bit of trouble with the thoughts of long haul flying.  It's like in my head I think "I can't hack being stuck in that metal can for 8 hours and being unable to get off if I start to freak out.  If I do freak out, it's an awful long journey to be losing the plot and then I have to do it all over again to get back home, otherwise I'm stranded abroad forever".  It's at this point I usually just sort of mentally throw my hands up in the air and say to myself "Ah well, f*** it, I guess that's it, you can't go anywhere now".

It hasn't been a huge blocking issue for me so far as I haven't had any real huge urge's to fly anywhere far away on holiday.  A couple of years ago a job wanted me to go to the US for a trip but I was mega-stressed with starting the new job and with my anxiety so I didn't go.  It doesn't really bother me as I never had any desire to visit the city in question anyway and it would have been unlikely I would have ever went there anyway even if I loved flying, but I guess what irritates me a bit is that this anxiety is there.

Part of me kind of wishes I could just book a ticket and if I feel like going, go, but if I don't then it's a huge amount of money wasted.  Also it's not the type of thing you can kind of do on a whim and it does require a certain amount of pre-planning and notice to people.  I'm not sure what the answer is.  I thought about doing an EasyJet Fear of Flying course but in my mind I'm going "That's a waste of time, you can do a 1hr flight, it's the 8 hour plus flights being stuck inside the plane that you will have trouble with".  Although I know part of this is mostly just imagined in my head.  The downside is that I can't really face it without forking out a huge amount of money.

I get ya. It's the fear of what your head will do to you if you're up there in that confined space for long enough. I have the same thing if I'm away from home for too long, not even necessarily abroad.

I went away for a week a couple of months back, the fear and anxiety hit me early and all I wanted after that was to get home asap. Wasted holiday.

I'm away at the moment too but only til Monday morning. Hopefully I'll survive until then without losing it!

veganrun

You will be grand, the hard bit is over. This time tomorrow you will be packing your stuff to come home.

Gremlinertia

Struggling again here, even a battle to convince myself to take my medication, i do take it, just feeling very bleak about things i guess. Nothing to despair about, but the black spider is sitting on my head and i can't shift it..

La.de.da

Not doing the best either. Flipping from racing thoughts to what's the point.
It's exhausting.

Shpudnik

La.de.da wrote: »

Not doing the best either. Flipping from racing thoughts to what's the point.
It's exhausting.

I'm just stuck on "what's the point?"

Shpudnik

I'm gonna struggle for the next week without my rock to lean on.

jsms88

La.de.da wrote: »

Not doing the best either. Flipping from racing thoughts to what's the point.
It's exhausting.

Me neither. I never enjoy this time of year, don't know why. I'm always less busy with work maybe. Always gets me down.

Stay strong everyone. It will pass... won't it?

Hugo Stiglitz

Hopefully things will improve for us all soon. x

Gremlinertia

I'm so sorry everyone is going through a rough time at the moment.. It will pass, it always does, it's bloody awful but it does piss off again.
I am 38 I've been living with this illness for as long as i can remember, i live with it but it's not me, it's just that damn black spider that lands on my head sometimes.

La.de.da

jsms88 wrote: »

Me neither. I never enjoy this time of year, don't know why. I'm always less busy with work maybe. Always gets me down.

Stay strong everyone. It will pass... won't it?

I will much prefer when we are into Autumn/Winter. This hot humidity isn't helping things either. Everything just feels heavy.



It will pass of course. X

stop animal cruelty

Not good day for my either.
Had alot to drink last night but whats really set me off is so called friends not giving a fuk when they leave tje bar without you, and a family member blanks you, in public in front of everyone.
Was so low. I just want someone on my side.

Hugo Stiglitz

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Not good day for my either.
Had alot to drink last night but whats really set me off is so called friends not giving a fuk when they leave tje bar without you, and a family member blanks you, in public in front of everyone.
Was so low. I just want someone on my side.

Really sorry to hear that. Hopefully it's just one of those rare days.

Trebor176

I saw this link yesterday, and I do fall under some, but not all of the headings.

https://curiousmindmagazine.com/11-things-anxious-person-understand/

veganrun

Trebor176 wrote: »

I saw this link yesterday, and I do fall under some, but not all of the headings.

https://curiousmindmagazine.com/11-things-anxious-person-understand/

I think I've experienced almost all of those.

Sorry to hear everyone is having a bad time. I go though bad spells from time to time, mercifully they tend to be short these days (touch wood). I'm still not fully back to how I'd like to be though. Although part of me thinks it's because I have anxiety and I'm so much more aware of it now.

I turned 40 a couple of months ago and it's been getting me a bit down at times as Im single, funny own a place and seem to be going in circles, but I don't know what I really want. I've also had that dreaded feeling like "oh crap, I'm getting old, time is running out!". I hate that feeling.

Tell me how

veganrun wrote:

I turned 40 a couple of months ago and it's been getting me a bit down at times as Im single, funny own a place and seem to be going in circles, but I don't know what I really want. I've also had that dreaded feeling like "oh crap, I'm getting old, time is running out!". I hate that feeling.

There's 45 yr olds reading this and wishing they were 40 and 50 yr olds wishing they were 45 and so on.

Age is genuinely just a number.

Gremlinertia

I agree there Tell Me How, we are never ok with now. When we are fifteen we want to be twenty. We are basically made to feel we won't be content until we have all of the things when the truth is we don't need it all. I try hard to live as close to now as i can but anxiety derails that often.