Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Tell me how

crispycrisps wrote:

And I'm exhausted. Even getting out of bed and dressed is a struggle

Hi crispycrisps. Sorry to hear that. Has it been that way for long? Do you have someone you can talk to about it.

Shpudnik

Tell me how wrote: »

What do they say when you talk to them? They are the professionals, it can be difficult but they need to be listened to or its a very slippery slope down hill.

I listen to them. They just don't listen to my concerns

Tell me how

Shpudnik wrote:

I listen to them. They just don't listen to my concerns

Well, I'm sure you've an option of getting a 2nd opinion.

LegacyUser

Hey guys - posting in here anonymously as I use the site regularly other than this.

Just spotted this thread today and found it interesting.

My gf suffers from bad anxiety and depression/nausea a lot. I always want to be there for her but there genuinely sometimes I can see she does need to be by herself and to leave her alone.

I'd do anything to make her happy/lift her mood but it can be tough sometimes. She has a small part time job but is looking for full time - doing a lot of interviews and I think a full time job would help her a lot.

I am always there for her and she knows that but I feel like I could do more for her.

Most weekends she does be working and I go home (away from where I am during the week). I will definitely start staying down more... that's a certainty

Any suggestions are more than welcome. I'm touching the point of 'you just don't get it' and I hate that she feels that way sometimes because I want to 'get it' and want to help her as much as I can

TippCashel

Hey guys

Just spotted this thread today and found it interesting.

My gf suffers from bad anxiety and depression/nausea a lot. I always want to be there for her but there genuinely sometimes I can see she does need to be by herself and to leave her alone.

I'd do anything to make her happy/lift her mood but it can be tough sometimes. She has a small part time job but is looking for full time - doing a lot of interviews and I think a full time job would help her a lot.

I am always there for her and she knows that but I feel like I could do more for her.

Most weekends she does be working and I go home (away from where I am during the week). I will definitely start staying down more... that's a certainty

Any suggestions are more than welcome. I'm touching the point of 'you just don't get it' and I hate that she feels that way sometimes because I want to 'get it' and want to help her as much as I can

Shpudnik

Tell me how wrote: »

Well, I'm sure you've an option of getting a 2nd opinion.

Trying my best to get that

Tell me how

TippCashel wrote:

I am always there for her and she knows that but I feel like I could do more for her.

Hi TippCashel.

If you're doing this and she knows it you're doing very well.

None of us know your gf and there's no set rule for what people need.

I'd suggest that when she's in good form, talk to her about how much you'd like to help and if she could tell you what might make things easier, you'd try to do that. I wouldn't be surprised though if she doesn't have an answer.

7 Seconds...

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Can I come too....

Thank you for such a positive post, its given me bit of a lift!

Glad to be of help:)! I am so thankful I found this thread, just knowing I not alone has really given me a boost too.

jsms88

I've woken up this morning a little bit jumpy and worried. Imagining things. I'm trying to breathe and have some perspective.

It's so disappointing after almost a week of feeling really good.

Gremlinertia

jsms88 wrote: »

I've woken up this morning a little bit jumpy and worried. Imagining things. I'm trying to breathe and have some perspective.

It's so disappointing after almost a week of feeling really good.

It's such a disappointing thing and very hard to think of the amount of 'good' time you had and will have again. Breathing is something i use a lot as it's something i can do that will go unnoticed by those around me when i'm having anxiety problems at work or elsewhere when i can't remove myself.. Keep at it, we're here for you

Trebor176

I have finished my second counselling session. Well, third, if the one in January is included. The feelings that I was experiencing about someone have subsided somewhat in the past week, but there is the fear of them resurfacing once again. It's something I can try and control. But, not experiencing these as strongly is encouraging, as I was told.

Today's session was more to do with negative things about myself, such as what if I met someone, who was put off by the fact that I'm still at home with my parents at 31, for example. Or, why am I comparing myself to others around my age, who I know quite well, but are more 'advanced' with various things in their lives than I am?

I have a job interview on Wednesday, so it was more or less giving me some things that I can brush up on, or if any questions towards any negativity the interview, like my weaknesses, to try and answer them with more of a positive spin.

I have felt better during the week, as I might have done for a few weeks prior, or even since January or before. As explained, although I feel better, counselling is not like a light switch. I will need more sessions, even if I feel better overall. I suppose it's just for progress, etc.

7 Seconds...

Trebor176 wrote: »

I have finished my second counselling session. Well, third, if the one in January is included. The feelings that I was experiencing about someone have subsided somewhat in the past week, but there is the fear of them resurfacing once again. It's something I can try and control. But, not experiencing these as strongly is encouraging, as I was told.

Today's session was more to do with negative things about myself, such as what if I met someone, who was put off by the fact that I'm still at home with my parents at 31, for example. Or, why am I comparing myself to others around my age, who I know quite well, but are more 'advanced' with various things in their lives than I am?

I have a job interview on Wednesday, so it was more or less giving me some things that I can brush up on, or if any questions towards any negativity the interview, like my weaknesses, to try and answer them with more of a positive spin.

I have felt better during the week, as I might have done for a few weeks prior, or even since January or before. As explained, although I feel better, counselling is not like a light switch. I will need more sessions, even if I feel better overall. I suppose it's just for progress, etc.

Best of luck on Wednesday. Not be blunt but if the person you meet is put off by you living at home and doesn't take the time to get to know based on that fact then they are not the one for you and YOU CAN DO A LOT BETTER.

I also worry way too much about what people think and again it only wrecks my own head. As I said before we all a cross to carry and just because people look to be doing well on the surface doesn't mean there life a bed of roses, 9 of out 10 it probably isn't.

Keep thinking positive and the sun is shine for you again! Hope you have a good day and weekend.:):):):):):):)

Trebor176

Can I come too... wrote: »

Best of luck on Wednesday. Not be blunt but if the person you meet is put off by you living at home and doesn't take the time to get to know based on that fact then they are not the one for you and YOU CAN DO A LOT BETTER.

I also worry way too much about what people think and again it only wrecks my own head. As I said before we all a cross to carry and just because people look to be doing well on the surface doesn't mean there life a bed of roses, 9 of out 10 it probably isn't.

Keep thinking positive and the sun is shine for you again! Hope you have a good day and weekend.:):):):):):):)

Yeah, that's true, and it has been said to be before. But, maybe it's kind of been holding be back asking someone out a bit. But, knowing the current economic situation with so many my age or older still at home, or having to move back home, due to high rents, or being unable to afford a home, it kind of makes me feel better about myself in that respect.

That's another thing that I was told. As you say, although that may be doing well career-wise or relationship-wise, there's probably the negative stuff behind closed doors. We're all flawed. Nobody is perfect! Maybe I thought I saw perfection in someone I dated, not even thinking about what flaws there could be.

Many thanks for that. I'm going to focus more on Wednesday, and just more important things currently, such as my career, etc. Enjoy your weekend too

7 Seconds...

Hope everyone has a good day and weekend:):):):):)!

7 Seconds...

Trebor176 wrote: »

Yeah, that's true, and it has been said to be before. But, maybe it's kind of been holding be back asking someone out a bit. But, knowing the current economic situation with so many my age or older still at home, or having to move back home, due to high rents, or being unable to afford a home, it kind of makes me feel better about myself in that respect.

That's another thing that I was told. As you say, although that may be doing well career-wise or relationship-wise, there's probably the negative stuff behind closed doors. We're all flawed. Nobody is perfect! Maybe I thought I saw perfection in someone I dated, not even thinking about what flaws there could be.

Many thanks for that. I'm going to focus more on Wednesday, and just more important things currently, such as my career, etc. Enjoy your weekend too

Your welcome!:) Best of Luck again for Wednesday. And yes you right none of us are perfect, I need to remind myself of this as well.

Drumpot

Going to CBT on off for years ... Where I am now is the same on paper but completely different to where I was emotionally 7-8 years ago.

On paper, most things are going really well for me right now but I have had crippling anxiety for the last week or so. My wife thinks I get anxious when things are going well and I'm not comfortable not having something to worry about. She's not wrong but I think there are other things contributing to it.

I am addressing long term issues I have had with my job. Some of it is upskilking and reviewing my own deficiencies which makes me uncomfortable. I've fretted and avoided these things for years (mostly my poor organisation and administrating skills), but I am actively trying to address them.

I heard some therapists on Radio 1 (one which I attended for therapy) talking about how people who define or value themselves with their career as a barometer are destined to go through low points. I think it's sad that many of us define success by how we perceive our job or career is going. Even if we know that we should work to live not the other way around it's hard not to be influenced by a society that's extremely shallow on a mass scale.

I don't take medication , don't self medicate (including a drink to wind down!) and try to not push away the anxiety. I try to work with the tools I have learned over the years. Try and change tasks between work, house chores and something fun. Get some exercise. Breathing techniques like mentioned. Some me time that isn't me sitting on my own ruminating on my problem.

I find I really enjoy the days that are ok or good because I appreciate them. I don't fear the bad days because I know they will pass. Even in my poor sleep days when I am lieing in bed awake and worried about how tired I will be the next day, I have better ways of dealing With it then I used to and they aren't so bad anymore!

Prioritising my mental health helped me more then anything. No excusss. "I don't have the money" (but can go out with friends once a month). "I don't know where to start!", here is as good a start as any, ask for advice or tips. You see I found that I procrastinated a lot and was comfortable being a "helpless victim" and made no headway for a long time. I am not insulting myself because that was all I knew and if this was easy it wouldn't be a problem for so many of us...

Only by investing heavily (time more then money) in my mental health have I really reaped the rewards. I now have a more fulfilling life that is not determined by people, places, things or (job) status.

La.de.da

That's a great post Drumpot.

Not defining one's self based on society says is the greatest liberation for mental health.
This is where CBT became invaluable for myself.

You do not have to follow suit with others. Some people want the money,career flash holidays and house. Some see their days simpler, and that's perfectly ok too.

There's no value can be put on contentment and piece of mind.

Tell me how

La.de.da wrote:

There's no value can be put on contentment and piece of mind.

That's the ultimate success for those that achieve it, in my view.

AliciaS

Hi guys I have posted here before but under a different user name. I have suffered with depression for many years. Have gotten therapy and am on anti depressants. I am in a much better place than I was a few years ago. Im holding down a full time job, get on with my family, have a good friend and in a relationship. I see how far I have come in terms of those aspects of my life. I don't think I'm still depressed. I don't get really low.

Instead I feel like I'm on a constant feeling of ok. I get upset and I can smile or laugh. But I never feel happy. I remember times when I was younger feeling happy but i haven't felt like that in a long time. I thought it was down to age. I'm 30but now I think there is more to it. I feel like sometimes I should feel happy when good things happen but it seems there is always a reason I'm not happy. For example that person is annoying me, this didn't happen or that didn't happen. It's strange. I spent so much time getting better and I feel let down.

I am still seeing the use mental health services every few months. I don't feel confident in their abilities to help me as it is a different psychiatrist each time and sometimes their lack of knowledge worries me.

I feel like it is the anti depressants. I'm on 100mg. I tried to reduce the dose a few years ago but it didnt go well. At my last pysch appointment the doctor recommened I start reducing the dose which I think is my next step

Has anyone ever felt like this?

Sorry for the long post.

Perhaps ongoing therapy with the one professional might help? When it comes to happiness it is such a subjective state and one I no longer chase. These days I'm ok with being ok

Mind yourself with the meds. Reducing your dose should never be done without your doctors input.

7 Seconds...

Deleted User wrote: »

Perhaps ongoing therapy with the one professional might help? When it comes to happiness it is such a subjective state and one I no longer chase. These days I'm ok with being ok

Mind yourself with the meds. Reducing your dose should never be done without your doctors input.

Very good advice, would echo this as well. Mind yourself and Best of luck.

Shpudnik

Few months of hard work trying to build up strength and all destroyed in one second.

Gremlinertia

Shpudnik wrote: »

Few months of hard work trying to build up strength and all destroyed in one second.

Sorry to hear you'rre down, possibly it's more of a setback as opposed to destroyed though?.

Shpudnik

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Sorry to hear you'rre down, possibly it's more of a setback as opposed to destroyed though?.

Nope. Completely destroyed. Obliterated. Turned to dust

Gremlinertia

I know how that feels, even when something turns out not to be permanent the pain it all causes initially is fcukin huge.. Look after yourself only for the next day. And please do think more about contacting someone professional, maybe go through your school.. It's impossible to offer much more than a venting board here..

Shpudnik

Anxiety getting to me today

7 Seconds...

Shpudnik wrote: »

Anxiety getting to me today

I know the feeling I am the very same today, it's tough but we are better keeping positive and focusing on the positives than the negatives. One day soon we will get to look back and realize it was all worth it.:):):)

jsms88

Be strong folks. We'll get there! As hard as it may seem, positivity.

Hugo Stiglitz

Shpudnik wrote: »

Anxiety getting to me today

Can I come too... wrote: »

I know the feeling I am the very same today, it's tough but we are better keeping positive and focusing on the positives than the negatives. One day soon we will get to look back and realize it was all worth it.:):):)

jsms88 wrote: »

Be strong folks. We'll get there! As hard as it may seem, positivity.

Keep good thoughts in your minds as much as you can. I'm trying to visualise a happier life as much as possible instead of focusing on the doom and gloom like I usually do. I don't know if it will help but surely it's better than embracing the spiral of negativity.

Ye can do it.

Tell me how

Fair play to Sinead O'Connor on asking for help. Hopefully she gets the right kind. Poor lady has been struggling for quite a while.