Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Shpudnik

Went from being OK to having no motivation and feeling down very quickly.

veganrun

Thanks Can. I told them to have it next week as I want it over and done with. Although now I'm wondering will the old agency want an inspection too as the new one is taking over from 1st of October. I can't imagine they would as it doesn't make sense for them to as they will no longer be managing the property.

Part of me would like to own a place so I don't have this type of thing to deal with and to have something for when I retire. But I'm so indecisive and sometimes unwilling to settle in one place. I can never figure out if it's boredom, the grass is always greener or something else. I would like to own my own place, I just don't know where. Part of me wants to go back to Dublin.

That's a bummer Shpud. I hate it when that happens. I read a quote somewhere that said "whatever you are worrying most likely won't matter in a month's time and will be forgotten about". Might help. I know I thought of that today when something at work really got my back up and I started to stress about it.

7 Seconds...

Start of Rant.

A & D I am going to stop saying I'm fine when I clearly am not fine. Hello Everyone my name is Can I come too... and my life has been going down the f**king pan ever since I was born!

I would love to be fine one day and hopefully soon I will be. But in the mean time I have a lot of letting go to do. I have made some big and small mistake in my life. I have hurt and I have been hurt. And I am the person who has often made the same mistake more than once but I have finally thankfully learn t a few valuable life lessons. Some & most of these mistakes and hurts are still effecting my life and sadly my son's life today. I grow up and continue to live in a small where your someone if you have money. As I come from a family with very little money we are and still are looked down on (I could write all day about how we have been treated:(). I have wanted to leave for years, but my parents would never help me do so. I have been laugh at my whole life and I've just realize that my own mother has just been laughing along with them. I could cry all day.

She has and never will forgive me for getting pregnant at 18 let alone being born, she would have been very happy had I been a boy. I often joke I have been a disappointment to her ever since the midwife said its a girl:D! Not being able to leave this place and I suppose deep down knowing all along I wasn't loved by the two people (who are the reason I am here in the first place) made me go down a not very nice path which I am still on and trying to get off, but that they are more than happy for me to stay on. The problem is to the outside world they look like brilliant parents.

To be fair on my mother she has her own problems but for some reason she blames them on me and I'm tired of never knowing if she is talking to me or not, but in all honesty I don't think she has ever really loved me anyway and it probably would have been easier on her if I have died instead of getting pregnant as I wasn't the first daughter to get pregnant so young. I just wished I had realized this before I told her about personal stuff that has added to my A&D, as I think her knowing this stuff has just made her hate me even more. But its all or nothing with her.

I would love to be loved for just once in my life, for people to get to know the real me and to keep me a chance. I had the chance of what could have been the best relationship of my life last year but because of my lack of confidence and the way I grow up I felt I wasn't good enough for him and that he could a lot better than me. I acted completely childish(I'm 35) towards him by not talking to him, & not to excuse myself but deep down I was tired of being hurt and I think I thought I'd hurt him first before he could do it to me. I have tired to say sorry twice but both time were a disaster and I just came off as a babbling idiot (nothing new there:D) but he won't come near since. It's true what they loving someone is easy it's letting them love you back that's the hard part. My A&D has taken my job, my life, my happiness and my friend away from me & I want them back!

F**K YOU A&D you are nothing but a evil C**T, it's you I hate not myself, you are the fault in my life not me so PLEASE do me one single favor & F**K OFF! Without you I would be really happy right now. Without you my son would have the best Mom he deserves, without you I would be able to love myself and let people love me back in return. I know deep down I am very lucky compare to lots of people out there and I am trying to be more grateful, but to be honest compare to lot of people I am very unlucky and it much easier be grateful and think happy thoughts when everything is going well. My life is not going well. I'm tired of feeling sh*tty, I'm tired of hating myself. I am tired talking things over, I am tired of been yet again on my meds, & I am tired of hoping something will change. I want/need a miracle! I want someone on my side.

End of Rant!

Tell me how

^^^^^

Hope that helped Can I come too.
It can be good to get things off your chest, even if only temporarily.

Can you recognize anything that you could possibly work on improving and try to put those that you can't behind you, or if not at least put them aside?

Tiniest little things can make such a positive difference, hopefully you'll have one such thing in your life soon. Might just be a good day or a hug or smile from someone but I hope you get it.

7 Seconds...

Tell me how wrote: »

^^^^^

Hope that helped Can I ask.
It can be good to get things off your chest, even if only temporarily.

Can you recognize anything that you could possibly work on improving and try to put those that you can't behind you, or if not at least put them aside?

Tiniest little things can make such a positive difference, hopefully you'll have one such thing in your life soon. Might just be a good day or a hug or smile from someone but I hope you get it.

Thank You. Being able to write it down has really helped but I just can't stop crying and I keep making stupid mistakes, but to be honest I think I have been acting out as in a way of a cry for help. I will probably end upping my doze when I go back to the doctor, which I was hoping to avoid this time but I'll have to admit defeat but at least I'm taking them. My son is sixteen so I have decided I am going to tell him why things are so wrong and hopefully he will understand a bit better why things are the way they are. I have been putting if off as it involves using the word rape but as it just the two of us and he is getting older I think he deserves to know. I won't tell him it all yet just some of it, and it might help me too.

Tell me how

^^^^^

It sounds like you're dealing with a tremendous amount. You mention your Dr, I hope therapy as well as meds are an option for you. I know it can be difficult to access such services but there are ways.

I would think this would be particularly helpful if you intend having such a conversation with your son. You need help, there's absolutely no shame in this being the case or acknowledging it.

7 Seconds...

No I am not talking to anyone at the moment. I have been to a few over the years, but sadly they would all sort lead to no where. Its hard to explain I would go to counseling and be working towards improving our lives but then come home to unsupportive parents who wouldn't help me. We are thanking living on our own for the past six years, but it's all or nothing with my mother, it's not call at all or she's calls a number of time a day, so my life still wasn't my own even when we moved out first. Thank God for this thread & boards, it definitely does make things easier. Thank you to you and everyone on here:).

When I broke up with my son's dad, mam kinda took his side by telling me I couldn't look after him, but I didn't realize it at the time. Now 13 years now, I am left to it all without any help from him and when I asked there is just a row, so I have stopped. He got marry 6 years ago which is fine by me but our son didn't take it so well and stopped wanting to sleep at his, but they just thought I was stopping him. He stopped helping financially, I lost my job and we have been finding it really stuff since then. He did T.Y last year and It just took more out of the pot than I thought & I can't seem to refill it. I don't know if he knows his dad's doesn't help so I am going to tell this also and that I have applied for D. Allowance as I am struggling to cope, but hopefully will get a job soon. Thank You again.:)

Shpudnik

Pain is absolutely breaking my spirit this evening

7 Seconds...

Shpudnik wrote: »

Pain is absolutely breaking my spirit this evening

Don't if I am allow ask so forgive If I am not. But what would you like to do when you finish school?

Shpudnik

Can I come too... wrote: »

Don't if I am allow ask so forgive If I am not. But what would you like to do when you finish school?

Work in aviation

7 Seconds...

Shpudnik wrote: »

Work in aviation

I know its really hard, but when your down, try if you can to focus as much as possible on this goal as you can. Positively Imagine yourself reaching this goal in the best possible way & outcome. School day can be really tough when your going through them, but hopefully one day you'll come back and see how quickly these years actually go by.:)!

Can I come too, you've been through the mill you poor thing. A young woman doing her best to raise her son alone. You wrote a lot about your mother and how lack of support from her was why you stopped counselling. Well maybe you don't need her support to get help. Counselling is something you do for you. To help you. To give you the tools to cope with life and maybe explore your inner self a bit.

Don't let a mother who you feel hasn't shown you love stand in the way of that. I'd also think a little more before talking to your son. He is young and going through all that being 16 brings. Ask yourself how much he really needs to know right now. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. That's all any of us can do really

Shpudnik

Can I come too... wrote: »

I know its really hard, but when your down, try if you can to focus as much as possible on this goal as you can. Positively Imagine yourself reaching this goal in the best possible way & outcome. School day can be really tough when your going through them, but hopefully one day you'll come back and see how quickly these years actually go by.:)!

I actually really enjoy school. I enjoy being there.

7 Seconds...

Deleted User wrote: »

Can I come too, you've been through the mill you poor thing. A young woman doing her best to raise her son alone. You wrote a lot about your mother and how lack of support from her was why you stopped counselling. Well maybe you don't need her support to get help. Counselling is something you do for you. To help you. To give you the tools to cope with life and maybe explore your inner self a bit.

Don't let a mother who you feel hasn't shown you love stand in the way of that. I'd also think a little more before talking to your son. He is young and going through all that being 16 brings. Ask yourself how much he really needs to know right now. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. That's all any of us can do really

Thank You. I am going to look into counselling again. Thank God for my neighbour I somehow told him in passing that I had stopped taking my meds,( back on them since July) & he wouldn't let up till he finally got sat down and told me to stop caring about what other people think which I do too much off.
I don't really want to have that conversation with him if I am truly honest, but I just feel I am spiraling out of control again, speeding in the car etc. but I think again it been a cry for help. I want things to change for the better I really do, but I just feel stuck & I don't know how to fix things.

7 Seconds...

Shpudnik wrote: »

I actually really enjoy school. I enjoy being there.

Good I am really glad to hear that. Keep believing in yourself, love yourself & be kind to everyone around you & you will reach your goals:).

Can I come too...

Can I come too... wrote: »

Thank You. I am going to look into counselling again. Thank God for my neighbour I somehow told him in passing that I had stopped taking my meds,( back on them since July) & he wouldn't let up till he finally got sat down and told me to stop caring about what other people think which I do too much off.
I don't really want to have that conversation with him if I am truly honest, but I just feel I am spiraling out of control again, speeding in the car etc. but I think again it been a cry for help. I want things to change for the better I really do, but I just feel stuck & I don't know how to fix things.

Do what feels right for you and your son x
I understand the stuck feeling. I really do. Sometimes I wish I could just jump in my car and drive and drive. Find that little house in the middle of nowhere I always dream of.

Maybe you don't need to know how to fix anything right now. Maybe you need to start going easy on yourself and not entering in to battle every day

7 Seconds...

I know money can't buy happiness or bring the right people in my life or cure my A&D, but at the moment it would really make a huge different to us. I love my son to bits & hes the reason I am still above ground, but I just get so mad and disappointed in my own life that I am afraid it is spilling over on to his. I can't do anything about it.

He didn't have contact with his dad for ages, but they are back talking on the phone, so we'll wait & see. Even though I don't want to get back with his dad, I do find my getting jealous of how he has been able to move on without any worries & can cancel contact at short notice & he still get to smile & be happy. Sorry Ranting again!

wally1990

Just dropping in and looking for advice

My GF is 24 and has 'developed' anxiety and I need help dealing with it

She has started attended CBT recently and refuses to take medication (hates tablets and only masks an underline problem she says) I agree with her

Basically she just worried about everything with respect to health !

Examples

She heard my grandad passed away from a heart attack and then constantly thinks she has heart problems
She constantly checking her pulse
Downloading apps and checking pulse
Fingers to the throat

Also if she gets a pain in her arm/hand she starts thinking its cancers or something

Basically in short she constantly thinks she has ill health.

She went has numerous health checks and there is absolutely nothing wrong (bloods/ECG/cat scans etc)

She is driving herself mad from these worries.

I love her to bits but it's extremely tiring listening to 'what if I have X' every day and googling symptom etc

If she hears someone is depressed or dies due to X reasons, she becomes obsessed and thinks whatever it is will happen to her

She is driving herself mad. I've told her to remove herself from 'bad news' , negative social interactions , ignore health discussions with friends etc

There is only so much times I can tell her there is nothing wrong .

She constantly thinks she 'feels weird' or has pains In arms / headaches etc but every test is always clear


I don't know how to deal with this to be honest ?

It's very frustrating listening to the problems all the time and I don't mean to sound insensitive or insulting because I know she can't help it but her family are noticing and even rollin their eyes to her when she speaks about health

I'm listening to her every day and never get angry or anything but there is only so much I can listen to becaus I know nothing to wrong
I try to reiterate this to her but it clearly doesn't help her



Does anyone have any advice on how I should deal with someone like this ?

7 Seconds...

Thanks Again for all help. I think it's time I logged off for tonight, but really glad I have been to it get all off my chest. Thank You.:)

Tell me how

wally1990 wrote:

Does anyone have any advice on how I should deal with someone like this ?

Let her know that you're there to support her but that you're finding it difficult.

Suggest that she talk to her GP about her hypochondriac behavior.

jsms88

I'm feeling really down with the last week. I recently turned 29 and for some reason I'm feeling really old. Im thinking back on things and can't believe how fast the years have gone. I'm questioning what I'm doing with my life. Have I picked the right career? Am I making proper use of my life? I'm looking at all the students heading off to college this week and I'm really jealous of them. I think I'm scared of growing up.... up until I turned 29 I still felt like a young fella but now with 30 on the horizon, I just feel really down. And on top of that, there's my usual anxiety about the uncertainly of the future and all the bad things that could happen.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I'd love if someone could just give me some perspective....

veganrun

wally1990 wrote: »

Just dropping in and looking for advice

My GF is 24 and has 'developed' anxiety and I need help dealing with it

She has started attended CBT recently and refuses to take medication (hates tablets and only masks an underline problem she says) I agree with her

Basically she just worried about everything with respect to health !

Examples

She heard my grandad passed away from a heart attack and then constantly thinks she has heart problems
She constantly checking her pulse
Downloading apps and checking pulse
Fingers to the throat

Also if she gets a pain in her arm/hand she starts thinking its cancers or something

Basically in short she constantly thinks she has ill health.

She went has numerous health checks and there is absolutely nothing wrong (bloods/ECG/cat scans etc)

She is driving herself mad from these worries.

I love her to bits but it's extremely tiring listening to 'what if I have X' every day and googling symptom etc

If she hears someone is depressed or dies due to X reasons, she becomes obsessed and thinks whatever it is will happen to her

She is driving herself mad. I've told her to remove herself from 'bad news' , negative social interactions , ignore health discussions with friends etc

There is only so much times I can tell her there is nothing wrong .

She constantly thinks she 'feels weird' or has pains In arms / headaches etc but every test is always clear


I don't know how to deal with this to be honest ?

It's very frustrating listening to the problems all the time and I don't mean to sound insensitive or insulting because I know she can't help it but her family are noticing and even rollin their eyes to her when she speaks about health

I'm listening to her every day and never get angry or anything but there is only so much I can listen to becaus I know nothing to wrong
I try to reiterate this to her but it clearly doesn't help her



Does anyone have any advice on how I should deal with someone like this ?

This link might be useful, there's a PDF at the bottom.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypochondria/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I have health anxiety and while I know most of the fears are irrational, it doesn't stop me worrying. I was always a worrier but for me the trigger for it getting worse about health was when my father passed away from cancer. I can still remember clearly events from that time and worry that if I go to the doctor and they want blood tests, it will be the same for me.

Like your GF I went through a period of going to the doctor for reassurance only to start doubting what they said a short time later. I think I'm slightly better now but not as much as I'd like to be. One CBT person said to me if I had the conditions I was worried about I'd most likely be dead already. Another one made a good point that we aren't doctors. We don't have the skill or knowledge to diagnose anything. So until a doctor writes down "you have X" then don't worry about it. Easier said than done but it's true.

It's hard to apply logic to it but for me I kind of try to avoid certain articles on the internet, some news etc if I think it's going to start me worrying. But I still have this almost need to read some story if someone relatively young dies. It's not good as then it makes me worry. I need to work on that.

All I can say Wally is don't think your GF is doing this on purpose. It's an automatic reflex, like pulling your hand away from something hot. As someone who suffers from the same thing it happens automatically and I don't have a lot of control over it. I just try to fight it with logical thoughts or if I can, when I notice it kicking off, I kind of say out loud to myself "No, Stop!". For me I can best describe it as a runaway train, out of control and hard to stop.

7 Seconds...

jsms88 wrote: »

I'm feeling really down with the last week. I recently turned 29 and for some reason I'm feeling really old. Im thinking back on things and can't believe how fast the years have gone. I'm questioning what I'm doing with my life. Have I picked the right career? Am I making proper use of my life? I'm looking at all the students heading off to college this week and I'm really jealous of them. I think I'm scared of growing up.... up until I turned 29 I still felt like a young fella but now with 30 on the horizon, I just feel really down. And on top of that, there's my usual anxiety about the uncertainly of the future and all the bad things that could happen.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I'd love if someone could just give me some perspective....

I think the age thing happens to us all at some stage. At first I felt twice my age, I am the opposite now, I forget that 10 years have already pass since all the sh*t happen and everything came tumbling down. I have to remind myself sometimes I am 35 not mid 20's, but feeling young for me at the moment isn't a bad thing.

Could you do a night course or a part time course along with what your doing now, and maybe it will help you figure out if you really do want to go back to college or is just the grass is greener situation. At the very least you will be able to say you tried. Best of luck:)!

Tell me how

jsms88 wrote: »

I'm feeling really down with the last week. I recently turned 29 and for some reason I'm feeling really old. Im thinking back on things and can't believe how fast the years have gone. I'm questioning what I'm doing with my life. Have I picked the right career? Am I making proper use of my life? I'm looking at all the students heading off to college this week and I'm really jealous of them. I think I'm scared of growing up.... up until I turned 29 I still felt like a young fella but now with 30 on the horizon, I just feel really down. And on top of that, there's my usual anxiety about the uncertainly of the future and all the bad things that could happen.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I'd love if someone could just give me some perspective....

Hi jsms88. I would echo what Can I come too... said.
Most people have doubts of some type or another and age is a very common one. It's such an obvious reference point by which to compare ourselves to others. I am 38 and 29 seems very young, there are others who think 38 is very young and so on.

The thing is, that there are so many other factors which come in to play which then impact on a persons happiness or satisfaction at a particular stage in their life and age is only a minor part. I know of people who have made radical career changes in their 20's, 30's, 40's and beyond. A guy who started an apprenticeship at 42 for example!

A lot of the students going off to college are full of doubts and fears as well as the hopes they carry. It's normal and part of life.

I would encourage anyone to explore what might make them happy without feeling judgmental that they haven't done so previously or that everyone else seems to be in a better place compared to them.

You'll find 100's of threads on boards of people with doubts about their position in life. It is very normal and should be used as a positive catalyst to explore change, not as a fact that change is required.

kiddums

Hopefully this is the one place that gets how difficult posting here is.

I just found this post, no idea this ever existed. I've struggled with anxiety my whole life, and I've had depression for about 15 years now, but 4 years ago it got bad enough for me to finally see a councilor and a Dr.

But over the summer, things have seemed to go very downhill for me, and for no real reason. I know the past month is probably due to the fact that I'm going to be moving town soon, I've never lived outside my hometown before, and the thought of going somewhere new with no friends is driving my anxiety nuts.

I don't really know what to say....Hi, I guess.

trixiebust

kiddums wrote:

Hopefully this is the one place that gets how difficult posting here is.

kiddums wrote:

I just found this post, no idea this ever existed. I've struggled with anxiety my whole life, and I've had depression for about 15 years now, but 4 years ago it got bad enough for me to finally see a councilor and a Dr.

New here myself, lurking for ages though. Thread is a great help, keeps my sanity to know I'm not alone. My world can feel pretty small most days, posting here opens it up a little bit more. Welcome

7 Seconds...

Not a 100%, but feeling a lot better today than I did yesterday. Have rang and put my name down for counseling in the place I went to before. Fingers crossed they be able to see me, it a step in the right direction anyway. Thanks again for you all and this thread.

Hope everyone is having an alright day:).

Shpudnik

Really sick today. Haven't been able to move out of bed. Mood is absolutely terrible

Foweva Awone

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

There's also a lot of personality related stuff and other distressing things that I don't post about on here to tackle. I fear that my original diagnosis of clinical depression might be wrong altogether. I've tried enquiring about this on several occasions with the various psychiatric clinics, but they all tend to dismiss me without really asking me anything. Not sure how else to go about finding out.

Would definitely be worth seeing a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist for the sort of thing you're talking about.

I'm not saying to stop seeing your psychiatrist or to ignore your diagnosis! But even one assessment session with a psychologist could confirm or rule out the concerns you're having.

jsms88

Can I come too... wrote: »

I think the age thing happens to us all at some stage. At first I felt twice my age, I am the opposite now, I forget that 10 years have already pass since all the sh*t happen and everything came tumbling down. I have to remind myself sometimes I am 35 not mid 20's, but feeling young for me at the moment isn't a bad thing.

Could you do a night course or a part time course along with what your doing now, and maybe it will help you figure out if you really do want to go back to college or is just the grass is greener situation. At the very least you will be able to say you tried. Best of luck:)!

It's not that I'm jealous of being in college per se, just being back at the start and not out in the big bad world I think. A night course isn't a bad idea though. Just to take me back to what I remember as a safer place. Thanks.