Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

jsms88

Tell me how wrote: »

Hi jsms88. I would echo what Can I come too... said.
Most people have doubts of some type or another and age is a very common one. It's such an obvious reference point by which to compare ourselves to others. I am 38 and 29 seems very young, there are others who think 38 is very young and so on.

I know. 29 is young in the grander scheme of things. But it's just feels like my 20s have zipped by and I miss those early adult years where I didn't have many responsibilities or pressures. I also kinda feel like I didn't fully take advantage of those years. I could have done more to socialise with people and enjoy life.

Hugo Stiglitz

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Would definitely be worth seeing a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist for the sort of thing you're talking about.

I'm not saying to stop seeing your psychiatrist or to ignore your diagnosis! But even one assessment session with a psychologist could confirm or rule out the concerns you're having.

Stupid question perhaps, how does one go about seeing a psychologist? I was referred from my GP to the psychiatrist initially. Is it a GP referred thing also or can I go about it privately?

Thanks, FA!

jsms88 wrote: »

I know. 29 is young in the grander scheme of things. But it's just feels like my 20s have zipped by and I miss those early adult years where I didn't have many responsibilities or pressures. I also kinda feel like I didn't fully take advantage of those years. I could have done more to socialise with people and enjoy life.

I can relate to what you're saying, J. My depression effectively halted all of the usual things like college, moving out, travelling etc during my 20s and now into my early 30s. It can definitely feel like losing out on an essential part of life.

Tell me how

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

Stupid question perhaps, how does one go about seeing a psychologist? I was referred from my GP to the psychiatrist initially. Is it a GP referred thing also or can I go about it privately?

Post #2 of this thread has guidance on finding a psychologist. You could (should??) ask your Dr if they can recommend anyone. Advantage of that is it keeps your GP in the loop plus your Dr knows your personality and might be able to rule out some.

My experience was it could take going to a couple to try to find the one who's the right fit for you and also, it may take a number of visits to them to see exactly how you click with each other.

You can see them privately.

Foweva Awone

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Stupid question perhaps, how does one go about seeing a psychologist? I was referred from my GP to the psychiatrist initially. Is it a GP referred thing also or can I go about it privately?

Thanks, FA!

Not a stupid question - well I hope not, coz I don't know the answer either!

I spend a lot of time as an inpatient in a private hospital. The psychiatrist deals mostly with the mental illness side of things; the psychologist deals with any issues such as personality disorders, referalls for CBT/DBT etc.

I wouldnt bother with your GP, I'd just Google and ring around and see whether they offer initial assessments without any commitment to a longer term plan.

Sorry I can't be of more help! But I really really think it would be worth looking into.

Tell me how

jsms88 wrote:

I know. 29 is young in the grander scheme of things. But it's just feels like my 20s have zipped by and I miss those early adult years where I didn't have many responsibilities or pressures. I also kinda feel like I didn't fully take advantage of those years. I could have done more to socialise with people and enjoy life.

I know that feeling, I do find myself associating with people a few yrs younger than me, partly I think because of the sense of lost years. Still, those years are gone. There's not much that you would have done then that you can't do now, it maybe just feels like there is because of them time passed.

It's a state of mind thing but what would 50 yr old jsm88 say to 29 yr old jsm88?

Would they say, you missed the boat, or would they say, start now and create experiences you'll look back with fondness as opposed to wistfully.

I'm not suggesting you go hanging out in student unions or whatever but think what would you like to do now, at this time in your life and try to move towards it.

I'm saying it like its easy, it is, but it isn't. I know this. I'm partly talking to myself here, telling myself to act rather than just lament the state of affairs.

Hugo Stiglitz

Tell me how wrote: »

Post #2 of this thread has guidance on finding a psychologist. You could (should??) ask your Dr if they can recommend anyone. Advantage of that is it keeps your GP in the loop plus your Dr knows your personality and might be able to rule out some.

My experience was it could take going to a couple to try to find the one who's the right fit for you and also, it may take a number of visits to them to see exactly how you click with each other.

You can see them privately.

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Not a stupid question - well I hope not, coz I don't know the answer either!

I spend a lot of time as an inpatient in a private hospital. The psychiatrist deals mostly with the mental illness side of things; the psychologist deals with any issues such as personality disorders, referalls for CBT/DBT etc.

I wouldnt bother with your GP, I'd just Google and ring around and see whether they offer initial assessments without any commitment to a longer term plan.

Sorry I can't be of more help! But I really really think it would be worth looking into.

Thanks, you two!

I might have actually seen a psychologist before! My psychiatrist sent me to a person for CBT prior to prescribing me medication. This was about 2005 though.

Tell me how

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

I might have actually seen a psychologist before! My psychiatrist sent me to a person for CBT prior to prescribing me medication. This was about 2005 though.

Hugo, if it's that long since you've seen a therapist/psychologist, I would make it a matter of priority to devoting some months to such work. In conjunction with your psychiatrist. Meds should be used when absolutely critical for chemical imbalance reasons or to support someone during a particularly dark time but "talking" therapy is essential, in my view.

That's a completely unqualified opinion mind.

Hugo Stiglitz

Tell me how wrote: »

Hugo, if it's that long since you've seen a therapist/psychologist, I would make it a matter of priority to devoting some months to such work. In conjunction with your psychiatrist. Meds should be used when absolutely critical for chemical imbalance reasons or to support someone during a particularly dark time but "talking" therapy is essential, in my view.

That's a completely unqualified opinion mind.

I've been to several counsellors over the years for the talking therapy. Very good stuff. I have always tending to go in there (and also to my psychiatrist appointments) with my immediate issues. When the immediate issues were resolved or under control, I have always stopped going. I think I now need to probably keep going to a counsellor for the long-term.

Apparently I am chemically imbalanced according to the physiatrist, so have been on various cocktails of meds for years. Nothing really does the trick unfortunately but there are so many variables. I do know that I'm in a much more reliable place on them than I was years ago. I can go to work and largely function as a (somewhat!) productive person. Just to cure that dullness and darkness would be great, but like I said previously, to reach some form of comfortable acceptance would be good. Hopefully the counselling and seeing a psychologist for assessment will help with this and all the various other flaws of mine.

jsms88

Tell me how wrote: »

It's a state of mind thing but what would 50 yr old jsm88 say to 29 yr old jsm88?

Would they say, you missed the boat, or would they say, start now and create experiences you'll look back with fondness.

Thanks Tell Me. You're absolutely right. I need to forget about the number and get out there. It's not too late.

veganrun

The age thing has happened to me too. I recently turned 40 and despise the idea that I might be considered middle aged. I feel like I'm in my 20s, at least in my head. I'm still not happy about it.

I also get a bit down when I see other people moving on with their life and I still feel like I'm drifting a bit. Also when it comes to relationships, it's just tumbleweeds. The last girl I met from a dating site has started seeing someone. That's good for her as we weren't suited to each other but part of me was like "ugh, why don't I ever start dating anyone". I feel like online is my only option as if I bumped into someone in real life I'd have no idea if they are single, interested, or even hows to get from just being polite and friendly to anything more. I literally have no idea how to do that.

Tell me how

jsms88 wrote: »

I know. 29 is young in the grander scheme of things. But it's just feels like my 20s have zipped by and I miss those early adult years where I didn't have many responsibilities or pressures. I also kinda feel like I didn't fully take advantage of those years. I could have done more to socialise with people and enjoy life.

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I can relate to what you're saying, J. My depression effectively halted all of the usual things like college, moving out, travelling etc during my 20s and now into my early 30s. It can definitely feel like losing out on an essential part of life.

Tell me how wrote: »

I know that feeling, I do find myself associating with people a few yrs younger than me, partly I think because of the sense of lost years. Still, those years are gone. There's not much that you would have done then that you can't do now, it maybe just feels like there is because of them time passed.

veganrun wrote: »

The age thing has happened to me too. I recently turned 40 and despise the idea that I might be considered middle aged. I feel like I'm in my 20s, at least in my head. I'm still not happy about it.

Working in my office at moment and on notice board I have an old poster of motivational sayings.

One of them is "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were"

It's been attributed to different people but the point is still valid. Age is a frame of mind more than a number.

Foweva Awone

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I've been to several counsellors over the years for the talking therapy. Very good stuff. I have always tending to go in there (and also to my psychiatrist appointments) with my immediate issues. When the immediate issues were resolved or under control, I have always stopped going. I think I now need to probably keep going to a counsellor for the long-term.

Do you go to Aware meetings? Never been myself, but some people find group talking better than one-to-ones (or vice versa) ... someone else here might be better able to advise!

I do know a lot of people who attend them and find them absolutely invaluable though. There's something about the whole realisation that, "I'm not the only one who thinks like this!"

Hugo Stiglitz

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Do you go to Aware meetings? Never been myself, but some people find group talking better than one-to-ones (or vice versa) ... someone else here might be better able to advise!

I do know a lot of people who attend them and find them absolutely invaluable though. There's something about the whole realisation that, "I'm not the only one who thinks like this!"

I have tried them in the past when I was really bad. They were ok, but I couldn't feel like I could connect when them, if that makes any sense. I'm very much a loner, so that could be part of the problem. Being a loner is a part of my problems in general!

veganrun

Feeling a bit down this evening, not sure why. I should be happy as it's the weekend but I'm feeling a bit blue. Work has been a bit stressful this last few days. I also have an apartment inspection on Monday and a surveyor showing up for the landlord so that's on my mind a bit even though the place is fine.

Hugo Stiglitz

veganrun wrote: »

Feeling a bit down this evening, not sure why. I should be happy as it's the weekend but I'm feeling a bit blue.

Same here. My mood has plummeted in the last hour.

titan18

Work and life been quite stressful lately and ended up fcuking up royally in work today, and it's something that could end up with HR involved. It's not great, but I was put under some pressure today, and had just come from hospital with my psychiatrist and telling him about my thoughts and relapse, and just buckled and did something incredibly stupid in work which ended up offending someone who went to their manager, and landing someone else in trouble too. Ended up having to leave my desk for like an hour as I tried to calm myself down cos I ended up crying and shaking over it, but I'm even still in tears thinking about it and it's about 13 hours later. It's going to eat me over the whole weekend as I await to see what happens Monday. Someone really needs to invent a time machine soon with the amount of stuff I'm doing lately, I just seem to be getting worse and worse

jsms88

titan18 wrote: »

Someone really needs to invent a time machine soon with the amount of stuff I'm doing lately, I just seem to be getting worse and worse

Amen to this! Wouldn't it be great if we could wipe out our mistakes?

You'll be ok. Just explain your side of story honestly if called upon. People get stressed and lash out all the time. Besides, some people get offended these days if someone sneezes too loudly.

I don't know what you did but i must say it seems a bit strange that an adults first reaction is run off to report you to manager for something you said. It's not school. Most adults try to deal with stuff themselves first.

Gremlinertia

Went to a funeral yesterday, a child, baby actually, I'm still very shaken (how the hell were the family standing) I'm now feeling guilty, think it's like a kind of survivor guilt. Of course I feel guilty on top of that for thinking of myself and so I'm very down and agitated..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Went to a funeral yesterday, a child, baby actually, I'm still very shaken (how the hell were the family standing) I'm now feeling guilty, think it's like a kind of survivor guilt. Of course I feel guilty on top of that for thinking of myself and so I'm very down and agitated..

Sorry to hear that, Grem.

I went to a child's funeral back when I was about 11. It still plays on my mind from time to time after all these years.

You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. I hope it passes soon.

titan18

jsms88 wrote: »

Amen to this! Wouldn't it be great if we could wipe out our mistakes?

You'll be ok. Just explain your side of story honestly if called upon. People get stressed and lash out all the time. Besides, some people get offended these days if someone sneezes too loudly.

I don't know what you did but i must say it seems a bit strange that an adults first reaction is run off to report you to manager for something you said. It's not school. Most adults try to deal with stuff themselves first.

Two people ganged up and basically told me what to do for my job despite me being the expert, I messaged my manager on facebook saying this is bull****, and we both cursed them out as would be usual. He said he'd sort it when he's back on Monday. I then told one of the people who ganged up that my manager would speak to them as they shouldn't be telling me what to do, and they started attacking me going I shouldn't have done that and I didn't tell my manager the full story (which I had) and she was going to get her manager now. I said I did, and (not thinking) look I'll prove it, and got my phone to show her facebook (where she saw the curses and insults and freaked out).

Course, I also didn't react well to it, and been eating at me since, and pretty much ruined the first night out I had in 4 months last night, as can't get it out of my head.

Hugo Stiglitz

titan18 wrote: »

Two people ganged up and basically told me what to do for my job despite me being the expert, I messaged my manager on facebook saying this is bull****, and we both cursed them out as would be usual. He said he'd sort it when he's back on Monday. I then told one of the people who ganged up that my manager would speak to them as they shouldn't be telling me what to do, and they started attacking me going I shouldn't have done that and I didn't tell my manager the full story (which I had) and she was going to get her manager now. I said I did, and (not thinking) look I'll prove it, and got my phone to show her facebook (where she saw the curses and insults and freaked out).

Course, I also didn't react well to it, and been eating at me since, and pretty much ruined the first night out I had in 4 months last night, as can't get it out of my head.

Sorry to hear of your ordeal there, Titan.

Shpudnik

Feel like the loneliest person in the world tonight.

Tell me how

Shpudnik wrote:

Feel like the loneliest person in the world tonight.

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully it's a passing feeling.

Funny how?

In the pub against since 3. On my 12th pint I'd say. Could not sit still at home. Drove around for three hours but still didn't clear.

I don't know if rehab or doctor is next stage.

I would think doctor. Just 500 thoughts going through my head and worrying about work

I'm only happy with a pint in front of me.

Was planning on watching soccer all day. Spent 3k on beer since may and in a decent job.

Gremlinertia

Hey Funny How, i have a tendency to do that though i've reined it in since i went to doc and got medication and referred to psychiatry unit at hospital.. It can be done, the racing thoughts drove me batsh*t sometimes but i'm better able to cope now with meds and counselling, i still have times when my brain spins a bit too much (if that makes sense)

Be good to yourself tomorrow, alcohol being a depressant means you'll probably feel down and/or angry with yourself.. Then make a doctor's appointment whenever you feel ready to, best of luck!.

titan18

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

Sorry to hear of your ordeal there, Titan.

Sure, my fault as usual. Be better if I was just put down

Gremlinertia

Titan, you did nothing another person wouldn't do in the same situation, let the manager's sort it out amongst themselves and they will just have a quiet word with each of ye and it's done, it's an indiscretion at worst.
Breathe, what's happened has happened, stressing now doesn't change it.. I know, so much easier said than done but keep telling yourself that..

titan18

Gremlinertia wrote:

Titan, you did nothing another person wouldn't do in the same situation, let the manager's sort it out amongst themselves and they will just have a quiet word with each of ye and it's done, it's an indiscretion at worst. Breathe, what's happened has happened, stressing now doesn't change it.. I know, so much easier said than done but keep telling yourself that..

I really don't think someone else would show Facebook messages to someone else. That was just me being an idiot.

Gremlinertia

titan18 wrote: »

I really don't think someone else would show Facebook messages to someone else. That was just me being an idiot.

Fcuk ups like that happen all the time, my face still burns at the time i managed to 'reply to all' on a bitchy e-mail. Thing is we often catastrophise them more and we are definitely harder on ourselves

Wilberto

titan18 wrote: »

I really don't think someone else would show Facebook messages to someone else. That was just me being an idiot.

I just think that in your haste to prove yourself right, you're mind went blank about all the *other* details in the messages. That can very easily happen. It's similar to someone being so eager to show someone very exciting pictures that they took on their phone that they forgot that there's other more private photos that they mightn't want them to see.


I know it's clearly hard to get into this mindset, but what's done is done really. Looking at the type of people you're up against, they mightn't even take any notice of that aspect of the message. Not to mention the fact that the messages are probably not half as bad as what your own mind is telling you. I know that that's always the case with me regarding most things.