Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Shpudnik

Today was a really good day

Tell me how

Shpudnik wrote: »

Today was a really good day

Delighted fr you Shpudnik!!!
That you had a good day and that you were able to recognize it as such. It really does help deal with mental health problems to recognize positive moments.
They can be used to combat the negative "things will never improve" the next time they are there even if it doesn't beat it completely.

trixiebust

Shpudnik wrote:

Today was a really good day

Good for you, & try to take that forward to tomorrow. It's excellent you can recognise some positivity in yourself.

veganrun

Great Shpudnik.

I never seem to have great days as in I'm bouncing off the walls with happiness. But I was never really like that, as far as I can remember. I've always been sort of restrained and reserved.

Been feeling a bit run down this last couple of days, like I'm about to get a cold or something but it hasn't struck. People around me at work are dosed so I'm surprised I haven't caught anything yet. But then that triggers my health anxiety, why am I feeling this way, what if this, what if that.

I think being aware you have anxiety is almost worse as it hypes everything up and you over analyse more and start thinking is it your anxiety or something real, which makes you more anxious.

titan18

Everything good in my life just ends. There's a girl I like who worked with me, and I was chatting away to her. She went out sick from work in July, and ended up leaving company as a result. I was trying to chat away to her on Facebook, and then she ended up deleting her Facebook account, so eventually contacted her on LinkedIn to see what was up.

Eventually, got her number, and contacted her on whatsapp where she told me she was in St Pats with depression and anxiety. I obviously don't care about that, as well, I struggle myself, so told her that, and she can contact me anytime she wants, and she was "Thank you so much, you've no idea how much that means to me xx". So, I asked her anything I can do for her, or would you like to talk about what makes you depressed or anything, and she never responded. I asked her following day was everything ok, and then she blocked me on whatsapp and blocked me on LinkedIn.

I really don't know if I did something wrong, or if she felt under pressure and just doesn't want to talk, or has something happened to her. I don't know should I try and contact her via other ways to make sure she's fine, or just leave it all alone. My counsellor said I should leave it alone as she might just need space, but really not sure as could be she needs help. I know the lack of logic that goes on in our minds when depressed and the pushing people away, and it's not good really, and at least from myself, I get worse when the people don't make an attempt, so really not sure what I should do here, if anyone here can help

Tell me how

I would definitely not get in touch right now. Being an inpatient in St Pats is serious and she needs to be receiving all her care from her care team right now.

If you try other ways to contact her, it's more akin to stalking than supporting.

You did the right thing in offering support and she knows that but she is not able to take on a relationship right now. Even a platonic supportive one.

When I was in St Pats I told my mother I'd talk to her when I got out because I just couldn't handle having to think about her being upset. I didn't even have room for the love and support she had for me.

Gremlinertia

Tell Me How has said it all there really, the phrase 'bring a horse to water' comes to mind, you have done all you can, up to that person now, i do think you are great for following up..

titan18

That's what I was thinking alright, just worried if it's what I'd tend to do and push someone away but hoping they come after to show they'd care. Not logical of course, but when is anything we do when depressed.

Is there a point that I should contact her though, like a week or so, or leave her alone to come back, but then she might not think people care.

snowflaker

Today was a good day workwise for me too! In good form - just home

Tell me how

titan18 wrote: »

That's what I was thinking alright, just worried if it's what I'd tend to do and push someone away but hoping they come after to show they'd care. Not logical of course, but when is anything we do when depressed.

Is there a point that I should contact her though, like a week or so, or leave her alone to come back, but then she might not think people care.

I don't think so titan18.

Maybe in a few months or so (4-6) but really, she has made the decision that she does not want to be in contact right now and you have to respect that.
I mention that time frame as she could be in hospital for a long time and her healing will continue when she leaves.

She knows you care and right now I bet she'd be thankful for the space that she has tried to create. If you contact her soon, it could put pressure on her and make her she feel bad that she cannot avail of your support. This could delay her making progress.

Also, the number one thing in helping someone with mental health is to look after your own mental health. If it is difficult to help someone and causes you trouble in trying to do so then you won't be truly able to help them.

This has already come in to your sessions with your therapist and it is upsetting for you dealing with it. It's admirable that you want to help someone but it is perfectly Ok to not actively be in contact.

titan18

Tell me how wrote: »

I don't think so titan18.

Maybe in a few months or so (4-6) but really, she has made the decision that she does not want to be in contact right now and you have to respect that.
I mention that time frame as she could be in hospital for a long time and her healing will continue when she leaves.

She knows you care and right now I bet she'd be thankful for the space that she has tried to create. If you contact her soon, it could put pressure on her and make her she feel bad that she cannot avail of your support. This could delay her making progress.

Also, the number one thing in helping someone with mental health is to look after your own mental health. If it is difficult to help someone and causes you trouble in trying to do so then you won't be truly able to help them.

This has already come in to your sessions with your therapist and it is upsetting for you dealing with it. It's admirable that you want to help someone but it is perfectly Ok to not actively be in contact.

Tbf, not being selfless here, but having someone to care about would help me more than any number of therapy sessions or psychiatrists can ever possibly give me. I like her and care if she's ok, and afraid I'll lose anything I have if I ignore her and she is doing what I do. But then the opposite makes sense, in that she's not ready for anything, she's vulnerable atm and I don't want to pressure her incase it causes a bad reaction with her anxiety and depression.

Tell me how

titan18 wrote: »

Tbf, not being selfless here, but having someone to care about would help me more than any number of therapy sessions or psychiatrists can ever possibly give me. I like her and care if she's ok, and afraid I'll lose anything I have if I ignore her and she is doing what I do. But then the opposite makes sense, in that she's not ready for anything, she's vulnerable atm and I don't want to pressure her incase it causes a bad reaction with her anxiety and depression.

I'm not trying to be harsh but it would be very selfish to try to reach out to this person (albeit with good intentions) after they have asked you not to.

Irrespective of her readiness and potential impact by you reaching out, she has cut ties with you and you have to respect that. That is the end of it. The ball is not in your court on this in any way at this point. And I say that with understanding of how you care for her.

titan18

Tell me how wrote: »

I'm not trying to be harsh but it would be very selfish to try to reach out to this person (albeit with good intentions) after they have asked you not to.

Irrespective of her readiness and potential impact by you reaching out, she has cut ties with you and you have to respect that. That is the end of it. The ball is not in your court on this in any way at this point. And I say that with understanding of how you care for her.

Is it not a bit weird that she gave me her number, told me what was wrong and then blocked one day later? I'm not going to contact her though, just confused by it, and well, doesn't feel great of course, but it's understandable to a point. I'm just going to continue checking rip.ie hoping I never see her name there when I check for it, and hope she gets on to me

Tell me how

titan18 wrote: »

Is it not a bit weird that she gave me her number, told me what was wrong and then blocked one day later?

Doesn't matter. Whatever the reason, that is what has happened.

On the day she gave you the number she may have felt strong enough to do so but the following day realised she wasn't.

Romantic relationships can go from waking up beside each other to never talking from that day forward. There is no rule book as to how we behave.

I know this is very difficult for you, but try to distract yourself and give her her space.

P.S. I'm going offline now so won;t be able to respond to you until later. I won't be ignoring your posts

titan18

Tell me how wrote:

Doesn't matter. Whatever the reason, that is what has happened.

On the day she gave you the number she may have felt strong enough to do so but the following day realised she wasn't.

Romantic relationships can go from waking up beside each other to never talking from that day forward. There is no rule book as to how we behave.

I know this is very difficult for you, but try to distract yourself and give her her space.

P.S. I'm going offline now so won;t be able to respond to you until later. I won't be ignoring your posts

Ya, that makes sense. Hopefully she gets better then and gets on to me, or if not, just gets better and is happy.

veganrun

Ever feel like you don't want to make future plans as you are worried you might get sick or lose your job? I often think like that. I'm considering buying a place and while I'm not in a position to do so at this moment, I start to think if I make plans I am tempting fate. Like my lease is up in 2 months and I briefly thought about signing a new one and then thought "I don't want to do that as if I get into trouble at work, lose my job then I won't be able to move out and save myself money, instead I will go bankrupt".

Or if I feel unwell the health anxiety kicks in and I start to think I don't want to make plans incase I get really ill. I'm hyper sensitive to how I feel. If I have a headache I start to worry, if I have any sort of sensation or pain anywhere unless it's from something obvious like hanging my knee against something, my mind starts to wander.

Even now this evening I started to think "Do I feel ok in my head or do I feel off".

Shpudnik

Bad mood came back this evening and it has me screwed. Was very bad with anxiety today too. It's all gone downhill

Hugo Stiglitz

This brutal Friday night low mood and rumination seems to be becoming a regular occurance.

veganrun

Health anxiety fully kicking in today

Shpudnik

So low today. Nothing can help me. People shouting at me. It's all a mess.

veganrun

Sorry to hear that Shpud. Is it work?

Shpudnik

veganrun wrote: »

Sorry to hear that Shpud. Is it work?

No no. Work was hard today cause I was flat out the whole time and did have people shouting at me bit it was more people I know giving out to me earlier

Hugo Stiglitz

Finding weekends really rough lately. Absolutely nothing to do.

Tell me how

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

Finding weekends really rough lately. Absolutely nothing to do.

That's tough Hugo.

Could you try cinema or something?

Hugo Stiglitz

Tell me how wrote: »

That's tough Hugo.

Could you try cinema or something?

It's not so much that there's nothing to do, it's just that there's nobody to do it with.

Tell me how

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

It's not so much that there's nothing to do, it's just that there's nobody to do it with.

I know that feeling.
I'm on holidays on my own and while I'm enjoying it, it would be so much better to be able share it with someone.

Hugo Stiglitz

Ah, it is what it is I guess. Too much wrong to fix.

Tell me how

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

Ah, it is what it is I guess. Too much wrong to fix.

Absolutely not.

If someone else said that about themselves, you'd tell them they were wrong.

I don't like the word "fix". It implies something is broken. Change is a much kinder word. And it doesn't all have to change in go.

I'm a good few years older than you and while I wish things were different it's enough right now that they're better than last year which was better than the year before.

Shpudnik

I ****ed up

crispycrisps

I'm broken.

I think I need to be admitted to hospital