Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

7 Seconds...

kiddums wrote: »

I'm not even fussy about the age too much, I can admit here that I'm that desperate. I have had people I thought were my friends, but I realised over time that quite a lot of them only really talked to me or whatever because they wanted something themselves. I've never had someone that just wants to talk, or hang out, get a pint, go see a film, whatever, without an alterer motive

I know that its not about material things, but I find it very tough to work on myself when I have no one around. All I really want is a handful of good friends, who aren't just using me and actually want to be my friend. It try my best to talk to people online, but most of th people I talk to just become hard work to talk to.

I hope you find what you are looking. There is someone for everyone out there, even just for friendship.

Hugo Stiglitz

Really struggling here at the moment.
I'm in work and am keeping a brave face but I'm anything but.

7 Seconds...

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Really struggling here at the moment.
I'm in work and am keeping a brave face but I'm anything but.

The fact you can put on a brave face, shows exactly how strong & brave you actually are.:)

Ruby31

kiddums wrote: »

I'm not even fussy about the age too much, I can admit here that I'm that desperate. I have had people I thought were my friends, but I realised over time that quite a lot of them only really talked to me or whatever because they wanted something themselves. I've never had someone that just wants to talk, or hang out, get a pint, go see a film, whatever, without an alterer motive

I know that its not about material things, but I find it very tough to work on myself when I have no one around. All I really want is a handful of good friends, who aren't just using me and actually want to be my friend. It try my best to talk to people online, but most of th people I talk to just become hard work to talk to.



I fully understand where you are coming from. I ended up having to psyche myself up, make an appointment over the phone, and go in with my headphones on until I was in with the Dr. He's a family friend so its not too difficult for me. But could you bring someone with you perhaps? The Dr might let them sit in the room too. But in my experience, medical people understand these kinds of mental issues, so don't be worrying about how they will react or anything like that. Just one less thing for you to worry about.

I hope you'e able to get to your GP. Small term pain for the benefit of your future health.:)

Thanks so much! I'll post back again if I manage to make the appointment!

Stonedpilot

Was wrecked with anxiety last 2 days, exhausted. Know it's financial related. Basically I haven't the money to pay for everything that needs to be paid for!.

I'm tipping along, guess I'll be ok. Any tips?. I don't sleep well lately either due to the stress. It's relatively new too.

Hugo Stiglitz

Can I come too... wrote: »

The fact you can put on a brave face, shows exactly how strong & brave you actually are.:)

Thanks for saying that. x

Don't know what do really.

snowflaker

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Really struggling here at the moment.
I'm in work and am keeping a brave face but I'm anything but.

Take care bud. I was fed up at 4, as we have flexitime, I just headed home.

Shpudnik

Very up and down today.

Hugo Stiglitz

snowflaker wrote: »

Take care bud. I was fed up at 4, as we have flexitime, I just headed home.

Thanks, SF.

Everything OK there with yourself today?

Hugo Stiglitz

Shpudnik wrote: »

Very up and down today.

*bro-hugs*

snowflaker

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Thanks, SF.

Everything OK there with yourself today?

Yeah, just work was going round in circles today.

snowflaker

Shpudnik wrote: »

Very up and down today.

Hate them days. take care.

Hugo Stiglitz

snowflaker wrote: »

Yeah, just work was going round in circles today.

They can be the worst for wrecking your head. It's good that you were able to get out of there.

Hopefully tomorrow will be much better.

Ruby31 wrote: »

Has anyone here been too anxious to go their GP? I have social anxiety. I'm fine going to the shops, etc, it's actually talking to people for any length of time that causes my heart to palpitate. I'm losing all my friends one by one. I don't like meeting people one-on-one as there's too much pressure on me to keep making conversation. Anyway, aside from that, I can't even make myself go to my GP about this as I've built it up in my head too much. Help.

A common suggestion is to write down on some paper what you're going through and to hand it to them to read. It might make it easier to make the actually appointment knowing that you won't have to talk so much.

Stonedpilot wrote: »

Was wrecked with anxiety last 2 days, exhausted. Know it's financial related. Basically I haven't the money to pay for everything that needs to be paid for!.

I'm tipping along, guess I'll be ok. Any tips?. I don't sleep well lately either due to the stress. It's relatively new too.

So sorry to hear that, SP. It sounds so horrible to have that kind of stress.

Would MABS be an option?

Regarding sleep, I find that there can be some good videos on YouTube to help you nod off. Also, there's an iPhone app (probably on Android too) called MyNoise. It's like a whitenoise generator. It produces sounds like rain falling etc. Can be great to relax you.

veganrun

What is it with companies and this seemingly endless need to give demos and presentations. It has an element of having to sing for your supper about it.

trixiebust

Ruby31 wrote:

Has anyone here been too anxious to go their GP? I have social anxiety. I'm fine going to the shops, etc, it's actually talking to people for any length of time that causes my heart to palpitate. I'm losing all my friends one by one. I don't like meeting people one-on-one as there's too much pressure on me to keep making conversation. Anyway, aside from that, I can't even make myself go to my GP about this as I've built it up in my head too much. Help.

Thank you. I'm running out of meds, and had been putting off making the call for another appointment, for a few days now. Just rang & appointment set up now. Small victories & all that.

Gremlinertia

I finally got over myself and got measured for a bra today. Well done Trixie i know how damn hard it is to do things.. Hope everyone is doing ok today.

Hugo Stiglitz

Hoping that today will be a kind one for you all.

Ruby31

trixiebust wrote: »

Thank you. I'm running out of meds, and had been putting off making the call for another appointment, for a few days now. Just rang & appointment set up now. Small victories & all that.

I'm glad to hear that! I emailed my GP's secretary this morning (I'm not great on the phone) and made an appointment for next Wednesday. I know I'm going to be a blubbering mess though

I'm going to do as suggested and write some stuff down beforehand and just hand it to the doctor.

Hugo Stiglitz

Ruby31 wrote: »

I'm glad to hear that! I emailed my GP's secretary this morning (I'm not great on the phone) and made an appointment for next Wednesday. I know I'm going to be a blubbering mess though

I'm going to do as suggested and write some stuff down beforehand and just hand it to the doctor.

If you cry, it's nothing to be ashamed about. I've bawled my eyes out in front of my psychiatrist and counsellors before. Felt great afterwards though!

Shpudnik

Thought I was doing well today but my mood has just dropped suddenly and no I'm just here crying to myself.

trixiebust

Ruby31 wrote:

I'm glad to hear that! I emailed my GP's secretary this morning (I'm not great on the phone) and made an appointment for next Wednesday. I know I'm going to be a blubbering mess though

Oh, I hate the phone too. I had to make contact, at least we both did it.

LegacyUser

I have literally read every single post on this thread over the last 24 hours or so.

I have reached crisis point. Have been struggling with anxiety and depression since I was a child due to a trauma, and though I've sought treatment and been on and off meds for most of that time, I never really got to the bottom of it.

Over the last 2 years things have really come to a head. I had a baby, quit my job as it was a toxic environment for me and decided to change careers. Just as things seemed to be moving on that, our landlord gave us notice to quit and me, my husband and baby had to move in with my mother in a tiny two bed council flat. I've basically been unable to work since then, and my meds have been increased.

I saw two psychiatrists last year. The first was through the public system and basically said there was nothing wring with me and I should engage in counselling and then wean off my meds. The second said I had clinical depression and an adjustment disorder due to my childhood. She gave me something to help me sleep a bit better, which worked, but caused massive weight gain (Olanzapine). She said there was no need for me to come back to her. I've been in psychotherapy for over a year, and have had ups and downs as is to be expected, but this is a very very desperate down.

In the last year I've been admitted to a&e twice for overdoses, most recently two weeks ago. I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I am in deep trouble. Right now I am staving off engaging in very distructive coping mechanisms and relying on my husband to keep going. My toddler has been sent to stay with his parents.

After a very dodgy and scary weekend,I ended up back at the GPs finally convinced to ask for a referral for inpatient care. I felt like I had taken back some control and though I am scared sh1tless of the work ahead of me and the unknown, felt that I was taking positive steps which helped abate the... other feelings.

But now my insurance says my depression is a pre-exisiting condition. We've only had it for 2 1/2 years, so I guess they're right. I was linked in with services a teenager, but am still convinved that they did more harm than good at the time and problemetised me in my family setting, which had caused bigger problems from me internalising this later in life. But after finally asking for help, proper help that I need because I am in a dangerous situation, and after the hospital agreeing to take me so readily, I feel at a complete loss.

Policies are policies. I could be waiting weeks to get into the public service and I don't dare to think about how much worse things might get between now and then. All I've managed to do this weekend is watch the harry potter movies over and over. And I 've taken to sitting in the shower and letting the water flow over me. This from someone who is unable to get out of bed and shower and brush teeth and get dressed. It seems more depressing somehow.

My GPs office recommended presenting myself at A&E at my local hospital, but I feel unless there is something *obviously wrong* requiring medical attention, that they will ignore me. Added to that is a phobia of the place as my father had a long drawn out illness and we as a family spent many stressful nights/weeks/months in there fighting to get proper care for him.

I'm sorry for the rant. I'm just at a loss, I had gotten used to the idea of being in a safe environment with medical people on hand for me while I go through this an attempt to start the recovery process, and I feel like the rug has been well and truly pulled from under me.

Thank you all for your open and honset conversations with one another and the support you have shown one another. Just reading through this (mammoth) thread has been therapeutic to some extent.

Much love to you all, and I wish you all well in your struggles. xx

Shpudnik

I feel so alone.

veganrun

Health anxiety is up again. Have had the cold this last few days and my ears feel blocked or something today, one side a bit more than the other and it's driving me insane and can't stop thinking about it.

veganrun

veganrun wrote: »

Health anxiety is up again. Have had the cold this last few days and my ears feel blocked or something today, one side a bit more than the other and it's driving me insane and can't stop thinking about it.

Losing my mind here . Having to sit through 5 hours of droning monotonous meetings hasn't helped.

7 Seconds...

veganrun wrote: »

Losing my mind here . Having to sit through 5 hours of droning monotonous meetings hasn't helped.

How are you feeling now? Hoping things improved for ya.

veganrun

Ugh, so-so. Can't believe how I'm reacting to this. It's probably nothing and just because I have had the cold this last few days but when I focus on these things, I can really spiral. Been off the citalopram about a month now too.

My head is all over the place. I only seem to focus on my hearing now and all sorts of negative thoughts overwhelm me, like why am I like this? Why can't I be normal or how I was 10 years ago. Is this my existence now, feeling this way, my hearing like this. Normal people don't overreact like this.

When I feel like this I always want to run away. Even now I'm thinking, "pack some stuff and start moving home at the weekend and then move back home permanently when your lease is up in 2 months". Even thinking about racing off to the doctor although I'm guessing they'd say there's nothing wrong, but then I'm always afraid they will want to do tests.

I also have a big presentation to do at work next week and have a new manager starting and I'm not looking forward to either.

Just starting to feel down now and I can tell as I've no appetite and have barely ate today, which always happens when my mood goes like this.

7 Seconds...

veganrun wrote: »

I also have a big presentation to do at work next week and have a new manager starting and I'm not looking forward to either.

I think you are being a little hard on yourself, the above is enough to put anyone's head in a spin. I wouldn't think about moving home until you have at least giving the new manager a chance & least then you'll know you tried.

veganrun

I guess I just hate the way I blow things out of all proportion and can't stay calm. A psychologist one told me that I was a bit unique in that I had the ability to rationalize things despite the anxiety, when most people he sees didn't have that ability. Problem is that I don't listen to the rational thoughts and if I do it's only after I've completely worn out all catastrophic thoughts and have effectively ran out of anxiety. However that can take several hours or even a few days.

I also hate that when something like this sets me off I feel overwhelmed and feel like I won't be able to move forward with my life. Any plans I had might as well be thrown in the bin. Feel like I can't cope and that I'm mentally broken.

I don't have many regrets in my life but I'm convinced a horrible job I had was the straw that broke the camel's back. If I could go back in time, I would not have taken that job or stayed as long in it.

veganrun

Had hoped a nights sleep would have got rid of this blocked/ringing sensation but hasnt.

I don't have a GP here and my regular one is 50 miles away. Might just need to take some time off work and go see them.