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Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)
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@Fuko, Thanks for the bit of background. I'm posting on my phone at the minute so will respond to you properly when I fire up the auld laptop
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Hi guys, very long time since I've been in here not sure anyone will recognise me anymore?
Just looking for any advice on antidepressants, mainly Citalopram, in terms of pros and cons and whether it's worth taking the plunge and going for it without too much thought? I've suffered from depression and anxiety for more years than I care to mention, it's put my life on hiatus and just got worse and worse. I probably should have been on antidepressants a long, long time ago but there you go. I just want to be able to function again and build my way up from there. Thanks all 0 -
Hi guys, very long time since I've been in here not sure anyone will recognise me anymore? Just looking for any advice on antidepressants, mainly Citalopram, in terms of pros and cons and whether it's worth taking the plunge and going for it without too much thought? I've suffered from depression and anxiety for more years than I care to mention, it's put my life on hiatus and just got worse and worse. I probably should have been on antidepressants a long, long time ago but there you go. I just want to be able to function again and build my way up from there. Thanks all
We'd never forget you, Fr.
Sorry to hear that you're still dealing with the depression and anxiety there.
I can't speak about that particular drug unfortunately. Hopefully someone else will be able to advise you.0 -
Sorry I often confuse therapists with psychiatrists/psychotherapists so I should give a bit more info.
I visit a woman who decides on my care and medication every few months or so,
I used to visit a woman weekly to talk about my issues in a way, and how to cope etc. But most of these sessions would be me crying about not understanding what is causing my issues and other stuff, and when we did talk about coping it was all done on a work sheet like I was in school.
About a month or two ago I told them that I didn't want to talk about all that as to me it felt useless and I felt like I was looked down up on and talked to like I was a child. She said she will talk to the woman who handles my plan about it.
Up until recently I was also in a 'day hospital' where I was to go five times a day to talk about different topics and issues that can cause my issues. I would be in a group setting with other people who were having issues as well, and I would be assigned a nurse and a visit weekly from the person in control of my care plan instead of on a monthly basis.
I also decided not to do this, as my anxiety was feeling worse attending these, and a few people would make me uneasy being near, and also the fact that I seen my 'planners' once out of two months, and pushed to other 'planners' who would know my issues and other stuff, so I felt like there was no privacy regarding my care nor any connection to opening up a bit.
My family and my sisters want me to go to the hospital, as I am suicidal but I do not act on them, but are more like impulses to harm myself. (I used to and had attempted a few, and went to my gp after one who sent me to AE).
I cannot really afford any care etc as I'm unemployed and not on any payments etc, and due to my issues I cannot work as I'm extremely anxious in public and stay inside mostly. My 'planner' has suggested to me to sign onto disability allowance as my issues are covered by it but I'm still waiting on word on these.
I have been in the HSE mental health system and CAMHS since I was about 4-5 but I feel really let down by it all.
Now
I get the impression you are in your early twenties Fuko. It's a stage of life that's "supposed" to be filled with hope and excitement but I know the reality is often different. Sitting down with a complete stranger when you are at your most vulnerable can feel like a mammoth task. I've been there myself. When we're at our lowest it's hard to feel like we deserve the best care so put up with feeling like you described; looked down upon, spoken to like a child, etc. It sounds like you and your therapist aren't a good fit. You need to be able to go in and talk and explore how you feel. This might involve looking at your early childhood and the relationship you have with your parents and any major life events which may have occurred. You mention being in the system from a young age so it can't have been easy for you.
Talk to your psychiatrist about your concerns regarding your counselling. Tell her how you feel about attending the day services. Be in the driving seat of your care Fuko and don't be fobbed off. Ask all of the questions.
Mental health care in this country exists but is a bit fragmented and dependent upon need and financial ability. Wonderful work can be done but they won't reach or connect with every person who walks through their doors. If you are based in Dublin ask your Psychiatrist for a recommendation of a low cost therapy centre. Don't be afraid to shop around.
As for the disability allowance it would be no harm to ring the Department of Social Affairs to see what the story is with your application. I was once lost myself. Some days those moments don't seem all that long ago but we have to keep up the good and know that we deserve a bit of contentment. Sure why not? Don't give up on giving yourself a chance Fuko. Help is out there.0 -
Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »We'd never forget you, Fr.
Sorry to hear that you're still dealing with the depression and anxiety there.
I can't speak about that particular drug unfortunately. Hopefully someone else will be able to advise you.
Hugo!
Nice to see such a familiar face! How's it going?
Ta, no worries. I can't even remember if I'd admitted to the depression and anxiety fully when we used to talk, I guess as I was in this thread I was aware of something and maybe even talking it up to myself but I think only recently I've actually accepted it? Not that I was all ashamed, quite the opposite in fact...fully accepting it was actually a weight off my mind and ironically, being so anti meds before, feeling even that tiny bit better makes me want to try medication far more now as I know just how long I've been going without the glimmer of light poking through
May I ask what you've been on, if anything?
P.S. Good to see your mod credentials these days!!0 -
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Deleted User wrote: »Now
I get the impression you are in your early twenties Fuko. It's a stage of life that's "supposed" to be filled with hope and excitement but I know the reality is often different. Sitting down with a complete stranger when you are at your most vulnerable can feel like a mammoth task. I've been there myself. When we're at our lowest it's hard to feel like we deserve the best care so put up with feeling like you described; looked down upon, spoken to like a child, etc. It sounds like you and your therapist aren't a good fit. You need to be able to go in and talk and explore how you feel. This might involve looking at your early childhood and the relationship you have with your parents and any major life events which may have occurred. You mention being in the system from a young age so it can't have been easy for you.
Talk to your psychiatrist about your concerns regarding your counselling. Tell her how you feel about attending the day services. Be in the driving seat of your care Fuko and don't be fobbed off. Ask all of the questions.
Mental health care in this country exists but is a bit fragmented and dependent upon need and financial ability. Wonderful work can be done but they won't reach or connect with every person who walks through their doors. If you are based in Dublin ask your Psychiatrist for a recommendation of a low cost therapy centre. Don't be afraid to shop around.
As for the disability allowance it would be no harm to ring the Department of Social Affairs to see what the story is with your application. I was once lost myself. Some days those moments don't seem all that long ago but we have to keep up the good and know that we deserve a bit of contentment. Sure why not? Don't give up on giving yourself a chance Fuko. Help is out there.
Thank you for the wonder advice Perse, I actually am only 20 and I've had more issues then years of living! I actually suffered from abuse within the family and due to these I've become extremely secluded from others, and I've suffered from abuse from partners from a young age too. I'll tell my psychiatrist about these and other things as well. I mainly started into the system since I wasn't able to speak, and I couldn't understand certain things which were wrong and also saw things differently than my family, resulting in the abuse.
I'll get back into contact with the department as I've been calling for the last few days but have been on hold for a while.
Thanks for the words and advice, it means a lot.0 -
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Hi guys, very long time since I've been in here not sure anyone will recognise me anymore? Just looking for any advice on antidepressants, mainly Citalopram, in terms of pros and cons and whether it's worth taking the plunge and going for it without too much thought? I've suffered from depression and anxiety for more years than I care to mention, it's put my life on hiatus and just got worse and worse. I probably should have been on antidepressants a long, long time ago but there you go. I just want to be able to function again and build my way up from there. Thanks all
Hi fr. You would be best having a chat with your doctor regarding citalopram. There are loads of different experiences with antidepressants depending on the person. I think I was on Citalopram very briefly before changing to Lexapro. This was in my twenties so can barely remember. Ask your doctor for their advice.0 -
Thank you for the wonder advice Perse, I actually am only 20 and I've had more issues then years of living! I actually suffered from abuse within the family and due to these I've become extremely secluded from others, and I've suffered from abuse from partners from a young age too. I'll tell my psychiatrist about these and other things as well. I mainly started into the system since I wasn't able to speak, and I couldn't understand certain things which were wrong and also saw things differently than my family, resulting in the abuse.
I'll get back into contact with the department as I've been calling for the last few days but have been on hold for a while.
Thanks for the words and advice, it means a lot.
I'm sorry you experienced that Just mind yourself x
And all of you who post here. I rarely put finger to key here but I do read the thread and one thing I notice missing is fun. I know, how the hell can there be fun when you feel so sad? When the daily task of living is a struggle. But you know sometimes finding a bit of silliness and posting an auld cat meme or two can do wonders for the spirit. I of course remain illiterate to the ways of embedding images so I'll leave it to the more techno minded among you
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Many thanks. I don't know what your docs are like over there but here on the NHS (England) I'm not sure they are amazing to be honest with you. When this all first started (not that it was as bad as now I don't think) I saw two different doctors and one prescribed Citalopram and the other Fluoxetine. I believe these are two "mild", widely used antidepressants but obviously they still have plenty of potential faults also! Thanks again.
Ah you are across the water. I was on Lexapro 20mg for a few years and the only negative affect it had for me was miniscule to zero sex drive. It's the brand name for Escitalopram. Fluoxetine is Prozac and considered an older drug. Then you have Sertraline which is sold under the names Zoloft and Lustral. All have their own properties and individual experiences. Good luck 0 -
Deleted User wrote: »Ah you are across the water. I was on Lexapro 20mg for a few years and the only negative affect it had for me was miniscule to zero sex drive. It's the brand name for Escitalopram. Fluoxetine is Prozac and considered an older drug. Then you have Sertraline which is sold under the names Zoloft and Lustral. All have their own properties and individual experiences. Good luck
Thanks for this Across the water indeed I've just had enough really - I think I've become so used to feeling like this, that I don't even really get upset anymore it's just I need a way out kind of thing! I literally can't do anything with my life, writing this even takes it out of me (crazy but true). I've come to the conclusion that if you're at rock bottom anyway the only way is up, even if the side effects of the meds are bad. And even if one doesn't work or work straight away, my feeling is that I've so unable to function as I'd like to (ironically I'm highly ambitious and semi- positive despite all this), literally anything I take would surely give me some sort of 'bounce' and a grip off from the floor if that makes any sense? And I could go from there. As things stand, I get so anxious, so empty, so irrational...but one thing is that I am aware of it all, and even though I've wasted so many years of my 20s on this (quickly heading towards the 30s now), I don't feel I've had to deal with as awful a time as others. For instance I've never been one to not be able to get outta bed and face the day kinda thing...quite the opposite in fact, I used to like staying up far too much (maybe delaying the next day so perhaps that was an indication too...) Apologies for the ramble, as I said this is a struggle 0 -
Hugo! Nice to see such a familiar face! How's it going?
Ta, no worries. I can't even remember if I'd admitted to the depression and anxiety fully when we used to talk, I guess as I was in this thread I was aware of something and maybe even talking it up to myself but I think only recently I've actually accepted it? Not that I was all ashamed, quite the opposite in fact...fully accepting it was actually a weight off my mind and ironically, being so anti meds before, feeling even that tiny bit better makes me want to try medication far more now as I know just how long I've been going without the glimmer of light poking through
May I ask what you've been on, if anything?
P.S. Good to see your mod credentials these days!!
You know, before seeking out help for all this many years ago, I hid myself away from the world and was utterly miserable, and I mean truly utterly. Only when I accepted that my emotions weren't normal and sought out help (albeit gradually!) things became much better. I still have my issues but nothing like what they were before. Jesus, even just forming that sentence made my eyes water up, but in a happy way.
Regarding meds, I've tasted many. All the usual stuff like prozac, Venlafaxine, imipramine, mirap, pregabalin etc. Totally depends on the person and issues.
Re: becoming a hmod. I totally sold out! Haha :pac:Deleted User wrote: »And all of you who post here. I rarely put finger to key here but I do read the thread and one thing I notice missing is fun. I know, how the hell can there be fun when you feel so sad? When the daily task of living is a struggle. But you know sometimes finding a bit of silliness and posting an auld cat meme or two can do wonders for the spirit. I of course remain illiterate to the ways of embedding images so I'll leave it to the more techno minded among you
I try to distract myself with comedy and memes etc all the time. Often, it's one of the things that can actually lift me out of a funk. 0 -
Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »You know, before seeking out help for all this many years ago, I hid myself away from the world and was utterly miserable, and I mean truly utterly. Only when I accepted that my emotions weren't normal and sought out help (albeit gradually!) things became much better. I still have my issues but nothing like what they were before. Jesus, even just forming that sentence made my eyes water up, but in a happy way.
Regarding meds, I've tasted many. All the usual stuff like prozac, Venlafaxine, imipramine, mirap, pregabalin etc. Totally depends on the person and issues.
Re: becoming a hmod. I totally sold out! Haha :pac:
Thanks Hugo. So glad you have made so much progress. And you definitely did sell out :pac:
See the thing is, I have no mental energy. I can read away and barely take things in, and post the occasional jokey post, but when it comes to anything which requires concentration I'm just drained...even posting here again. I have to write letters to the doctors. Not sure I can do another. I just need meds at this point. What do I say. Two different ones prescribed Citalopram amd Fluoxetine (Prozac) in the past..0 -
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