Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

jsms88

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Do you find that the quiet alone time are when hits hard?

Anytime I have some freedom to think. The busier I am and the less thinking I do the better.

jsms88

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I've gone so far past the point where I can change my life.

It’s never to late to make a positive change. Trust me, I know what it feels like to think that it’s all done and there’s no point in trying to change anything. But it’s always worth trying to make things better, even if it’s just a small change.

Hugo Stiglitz

Can I come too... wrote: »

Yes you can, and you said to me yesterday take baby steps. What part of your life would you like to change?

[Post edited]

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hugo, life really can change any time, i was in a bad way up until my mid thirties, all the vices in play, not a stitch of self care, nothing but work really.. Out of nowhere i find a girl who likes me and do dbt and things have taken on a new colour i guess. It's not all rainbows by any stretch but life is more tolerable and at times enjoyable now. Stay with it man.

I'm happy that you found someone to share your life with, and also that things are more manageable there. x

Deleted User wrote: »

Hugo, let me be honest with you. At times I find your posts frustrating because I know the potential you have. Yet you don't see it. I've met you. You are funny and engaging. You are well able to chat and be social.

I'll tell you what I do when depression rears it's head. I listen to myself when it comes to what I want. If staying in bed is calling then that's what I do. If I need to cry then I cry. Eat icecream, sleep, hide. That's what works for me. Other little things which helps is driving instead of getting the train. Sometimes I can't deal with all the strangers around me so I find comfort in jumping in the car. At no point do I berate myself for my choices because I know they help me.

Then I come out the other side. I always do. I'm so very lucky to have the ability to see all the positives in my life Hugo and I really believe that can help lift you out. Your family, your physical health, your talents. You have so much to hold on to. Don't let your life pass you by x

I can't help but feel that you only caught a tiny glimpse of a somewhat happy me. Believe me, I'd love to be like that more often!
Thank you for the kind words though, P. I appreciate you saying them.

I'm sorry that my posts are frustrating. I tend to moan a lot. I know that this is extremely off putting but yet I continue to do it. It's almost like a compulsion. It's a huge part of my issues.

It's great to hear that you're able to get through it. Long may it last. x

jsms88 wrote: »

It’s never to late to make a positive change. Trust me, I know what it feels like to think that it’s all done and there’s no point in trying to change anything. But it’s always worth trying to make things better, even if it’s just a small change.

Even if my depression/anxiety/misc. was magically cured tomorrow, I'd ultimately still be in the same situation as I am now.

I understand that this all coming across as being defeatist and negative, but I honestly just feel that this is how it is. To think otherwise would just be setting myself up for disappointment.

Sorry for the huge post of replies.
I suppose that all this personality stuff doesn't really belong in this thread here. I just wanted to vent a little. Sorry.

titan18

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

You sound like me, so I'll be no help to you, but I'm in the exact same thought process as yourself. It's quite sh1te.

frulewis

So went through a really bad spell last year, had a bit of a breakdown or close to it, moved back home took the meds counselling etc and up until last week I really felt like I was back to somewhat normal, working away etc... Then bam its back with a bang anxious about stupid stuff, paranoid thoughts and feeling so irrationally angry then unbelievably sad, lost and depressed. I'm pure sick of this s##ite now, sick of it!!! I can't afford to move back out of home, my job is monotonous bullsh#t and I can't seem to make sense of what to do or why this stupid f'in brain of mine won't just let up and leave me the hell alone!!
Rant over

Hugo Stiglitz

titan18 wrote: »

You sound like me, so I'll be no help to you, but I'm in the exact same thought process as yourself. It's quite sh1te.

Sorry to hear that, Titan.

Who knows, you might be able to break free of this though. Don't give up on it just yet.

frulewis wrote: »

So went through a really bad spell last year, had a bit of a breakdown or close to it, moved back home took the meds counselling etc and up until last week I really felt like I was back to somewhat normal, working away etc... Then bam its back with a bang anxious about stupid stuff, paranoid thoughts and feeling so irrationally angry then unbelievably sad, lost and depressed. I'm pure sick of this s##ite now, sick of it!!! I can't afford to move back out of home, my job is monotonous bullsh#t and I can't seem to make sense of what to do or why this stupid f'in brain of mine won't just let up and leave me the hell alone!!
Rant over

So sorry to hear that you're going through all that, Frulewis.

You were able to get through it before so you might be able to do it again.

never_mind

Been a dark few weeks... best mate is going through cancer scare, OH has had a few deaths in fam, another close friend is going through a lot of stuff. Feel like I am being lent on to the extreme and finding it hard. My anxiety is going nuts.

Hugo Stiglitz

never_mind wrote: »

Been a dark few weeks... best mate is going through cancer scare, OH has had a few deaths in fam, another close friend is going through a lot of stuff. Feel like I am being lent on to the extreme and finding it hard. My anxiety is going nuts.

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully things will sort themselves out soon.

never_mind

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully things will sort themselves out soon.

You too, Hugo, how are you feeling today?

Hugo Stiglitz

never_mind wrote: »

You too, Hugo, how are you feeling today?

Not too bad here at the moment, thanks.

Kept busy in work.

Yourself?

Gremlinertia

Feeling a bit groundless today. Not sure how to better describe it.. Just not really here at all. Except for anxiety which is being very real and annoying..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Feeling a bit groundless today. Not sure how to better describe it.. Just not really here at all. Except for anxiety which is being very real and annoying..

Hopefully you'll be back to yourself soon. x

Gremlinertia

Anxiety getting big now. Back into work in a minute and I've been off for a bit. Always feel like I'm out of my depth heading back in.. How have you been Hugo?.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Anxiety getting big now. Back into work in a minute and I've been off for a bit. Always feel like I'm out of my depth heading back in.. How have you been Hugo?.

I'm busy here in work which is keeping my occupied and not wandering, which is good.
Hopefully work will go well for you this evening. x

RabbleRouser2k

Was anyone as disturbed as I was about that journalist and the sexual abuses he committed? I apologise for going OT, I don't do it often, but his blaming 'depression' made me want to punch him.
He knew what he was doing, he's an adult. I would have no issue if it was like a normal relationship between consulting adults (say she was 18 or 19) but this was anything but normal. And I sincerely believe he has done this before. It seems like it. So his Mental illness claims I'm not buying.

Sorry, when I hear these cases and the stigma it perpetuates-I get frustrated. I've had differing reactions from people when I tell them about my own depression and problems. Like, some are totally fine with it-they empathise too when they know you're getting treatment and that you're essentially a danger to you, nobody else. But others...it's like you're a zombie.

veganrun

Awful, awful night. There's like a humming sound coming from somewhere/something and I can't tell if I'm imagining it/only me hearing it or whether it's actually coming from something in the apartment complex and it's triggered my anxiety/panic.

I had a few bad anxiety attacks during the night, haven't had those in years. I guess the citalopram hasn't kicked in again yet or maybe this is the start of it.

About to head to work. Had to take a valium to calm me down earlier.

veganrun

So wish I had stayed on the medication. This last couple of weeks have been the worst I've had in a few years.

Doing my usual thing of wanting to move home. My lease is up in about 8 weeks. I think if I'm still feeling down and full of anxiety, I might move home then and go back to commuting.

Thought I had turned a corner anxiety wise since going back on medication last Friday but I guess it's too soon yet.

Hugo Stiglitz

veganrun wrote: »

So wish I had stayed on the medication. This last couple of weeks have been the worst I've had in a few years.

Doing my usual thing of wanting to move home. My lease is up in about 8 weeks. I think if I'm still feeling down and full of anxiety, I might move home then and go back to commuting.

Thought I had turned a corner anxiety wise since going back on medication last Friday but I guess it's too soon yet.

It'll most likely take a while to kick in fully. You're doing great so far. Just got to ride out the last bit of anxiety. You can do this.

veganrun

I'd been doing well this last couple of days then last night, boom, it was back. Now I'm tired and miserable as I've been awake since about 4.30am.

Shpudnik

Feel like going to therapy today was a waste of time

veganrun

Shpudnik wrote: »

Feel like going to therapy today was a waste of time

Sorry to hear that. Was feeling awful earlier myself, not sure I've bounced back yet either. Felt like I needed therapy or something.

RabbleRouser2k

Welp,I went in today to sign on to unemployment assistance...and boy did I feel useless. Also had to get the new Social services card, that wasn't too bad.

Been under the weather for the last few days. Like, not too bad-more of a dose of really bad sniffles with a fever, and seem to sweat at any bit of heat. So it's weird bug. And it's making my anxiety/ OCD go a tad haywire. (Sort of like 'panic and stress out!-nah, you're fine-panic and stress out!') Lousy bugs seem to always do this to me. (Also, if I seem random or all over the place, when I'm ill, I often do that).

Anyways, my employment history is a bit spotty-at best. Like, I've worked for people who either decide 'nah, it's not good enough, no money to you', or internship doesn't yield a job. So that kind of stuff leads to low self esteem, demoralised, and depressed. (Being in therapy for a good chunk of time screwed me over too).
Which sucks, to say the least.
So the lady I was speaking to was all like 'you haven't paid in stamps, you're this age...what have you been doing for the last 12 months...' And I just had to write it out, as additional information-'bout of illness (depression)'.
Feels like the more I try and step forward, the farther back I go. Ugh.

Fuko200

I've been really irritated and snappy the last few days towards my family and my gf, not sure if hormones or what. Just everything is setting me off and I feel so dead inside. Like, no matter what I do I can't feel happy.
My gf is leaving on a holiday to visit family next week and I m terrified of being alone with my family incase arguments happen again. My doctors appointment is soon too so idk what to do.
Only semi good news is I'm going to attempt to apply for a job but I'm too nervous and already feel like getting sick from anxiety.

Hugo Stiglitz

I'm going to try faking it until I make it.

never_mind

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I'm going to try faking it until I make it.

That's the way I have been getting by in life. Sometimes I make it and have to fake it after lol

never_mind

Fuko200 wrote: »

I've been really irritated and snappy the last few days towards my family and my gf, not sure if hormones or what. Just everything is setting me off and I feel so dead inside. Like, no matter what I do I can't feel happy.
My gf is leaving on a holiday to visit family next week and I m terrified of being alone with my family incase arguments happen again. My doctors appointment is soon too so idk what to do.
Only semi good news is I'm going to attempt to apply for a job but I'm too nervous and already feel like getting sick from anxiety.

I get like this when applying to things... but if you do it enough you suddenly realise that you're just a number for HR.

trixiebust

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

I'm going to try faking it until I make it.

Go for it Hugo. My own personal motto atm is " whatever gets me through the day ".

Hope everyone else is doing ok too.

Gremlinertia

Days really grind but keep at it.. There are good ones

LegacyUser

Found myself needing to post here for the 1st time.
Hello Everyone!

I have recently started treatment for depression and my GP has started me on Zoloft.
Too soon to see any improvement yet but fingers crossed.

I suppose it has been building and coming for years. I previously had coping strategies and a stubborn "power through" streak that all stopped working for me towards the end of Aug.
I'm now the point where powering through has left me broken.
Depression coupled with anxiety is a revelation to me!

I never knew how debilitating it could be. The depression itself as many here know is hard, I cant remember the last moment of "selfish" happiness I have had.
Wearing a mask(One that I'm continuing to wear here by posting anon I suppose) and being the person who supports rather than the person who needs it, has worn me out and left me fairly close to actual burnout.

That said, its probably the onset of anxiety that pushed me over the edge.
I never realized how debilitating it actually could be!

Anyway, heres to the 1st step on the journey to recovery and may all who find themselves posting here get there and get the help they need.

TrustedApple

Been a ok week so far. Work as agreed to sending me to the USA for much needed training.

But quite sleepy this week as I am I work for 8.30 and leave at 5.30 I do have a hour lunch so lucky.

I end up pushing myself to be the best I can as I all ways have in my mind that I will get fired today ha the good old over thinking