Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

never_mind

Wilberto wrote: »

If you're close enough to your boss then you could email him asking him for a private meeting whenever they have time, and then tell him then?


I know from my own experience though that even sending any internal emails like that (for me it was a case of me leaving) can still be quite tough. I remember I had the email written and saved in my drafts folder for about 2/3 hours before I eventually hit "send"! :pac:

This.
Also say that you have some good news if you want to frame it in a positive way,... like...

Hi X,

hope you are having a nice week.

I was hoping to catch you at some point for a quick chat... I have a bit of news for you! Could we plan on going out for a coffee soon? I'd prefer it was just me and you. Nothing to be too concerned about!

Thanks a mil
Y

RabbleRouser2k

farmerwifelet wrote: »

aw heartbreaking. Poor dogs hopefully it was accidental to think someone would do that deliberately is just horrible - pure scum.

cried for two days solid when my cat died. Still tear up when i find my dogs id disc in the press. Have two dogs now and their pen is near the road I cant wait to move it in front of the house and to a "safer" location.

It looks like it could have been anything like a dead animal or even a rodent they might have eaten (I don't know, 2 vets we spoke to were baffled as well). The vet suggested taking the dead dog for an autopsy, to figure out what it was. I don't know what to do, tbh. She's passed on, and I'm heartbroken about that, it comes in massive waves. It hit me like a ton of bricks last night, I just broke down crying. She was always there, and if you were getting out of bed in the morning, she'd start barking and making noise with joy and being excited to see me. That's gone now. In my darkest days, she would wait for me to get out of bed...and some days I couldn't. My mom and bro would look after her then.

When my mother was looking after her, going to the bathroom was a job in itsself-as she would bark while in the kitchen, so my mom would have to leave the door open so this little dog would follow her to the toilet, then sit down in the bathroom and wait. My brother would often try and look after her, but she would sneak past him and run down to my mum.
I feel like I have left her down, I feel like we abandoned her. And for a dog like she was, it feels like a betrayal to her.
She has dog toys, and other stuff, around the house. It's been awful.
And I know in the next day or so, it's going to mean a burial too.

On the positive side-the other dog seems to be getting stronger. For the last number of days, she's been drinking liquids, liquid vitamin, and milk. She finished her milk last night, a positive sign. Today, she walked out of her house, and walked up to the kitchen. She ate a few slices of cheese. So my mother suggested boiling some chicken, and making a broth from that, with plenty of salt in it (It's light on her stomach, good for someone who's been sick). She ate the chicken, piece by piece. So far, she's eaten 3 chicken thighs, and the broth (which formed a jelly, which she loved). She's a little unsteady on her back legs, but she's walking. That's more than she did in the last 5 days.
Taking this day by day.

Foweva Awone

Anyone been on Seroquel? I've just been put on a low doses (75mg) for anxiety; only a couple of days in and it's helping so much. Mood swings and paranoia much improved, I feel less impulsive etc. I'm also drowsy a lot of the time but I don't mind that for now! Fingers crossed this will bring me a bit of stability so I can really get stuck in to the therapy side of things again.

farmerwifelet

Rabble - you didn't let her down you are only human. That's the best thing about dogs they love you at your best and worst! At least the other dog is doing well!

I asked my husband to bury my dog down the fields and not tell me where so I don't get upset when I pass the spot. Otherwise I would be in bits every time.

RabbleRouser2k

farmerwifelet wrote: »

Rabble - you didn't let her down you are only human. That's the best thing about dogs they love you at your best and worst! At least the other dog is doing well!

I asked my husband to bury my dog down the fields and not tell me where so I don't get upset when I pass the spot. Otherwise I would be in bits every time.

That's easier said than done. Blame is all I have at the moment. On myself, and whoever did this. Our dogs were two of the kindest little creatures you could meet-it was only two weeks ago I was planning to get a new collar for the little one-now I have to plan where to bury her.
We would often slip her treats-biscuits, ice cream, pieces of our dinner, ice cream, crisps etc. There were doggy bars, and other stuff. She'd often eat stuff that our other dog wouldn't-like she would eat fish and rice, the other dog would not. Some treats she loved, the other dog didn't. And vice versa. That one survived is a better outcome than we could have hoped for, but I'd rather never have gone through this experience.

Years ago, had to bury a pup without me being present-she was killed by a car. I was 15, and it really hurt-I felt my actual heart break. My family chose to bury her without telling me, because I was a wreck, had to go for counselling as well due to already being in a deep depression, and then that incident made it worse.

At times I break down and cry-but I'm told 'suck it up' or 'get over it'...I've never been able to keep a shield up, not for long.

Fuko200

Felt I should give an update regarding my situation, I’m back on medication and was granted disability, and was also told my diagnosis (hopefully it’s not wrong again!).
I was told I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Severe Depression, severe anxiety, insomnia and Schizotypal Disorder.
I told my parents who don’t seem to care much, and I told one of my sisters who told me “So your schizophrenic? (I told her I wasn’t and it’s schizotypal) Ah, please don’t stab us then!” And I felt like I was going to get sick.
I’m on a waiting list for some social worker to talk to be about housing as they feel I’m going to eventually break in my home, and I can’t live at my gfs as they have their own issues. I’m also waiting to have an appointment with someone to help with my disorders now I’m officially diagnosed.

HaloPower

Hi all, new to this thread, and Boards.

I joined specifically to talk to other people who feel the same way as I do.

I'm 23, female and for the past 7 years have wondered what life would be like if I didn't have that termination. My life and mind changed forever. That girl is long gone. I feel as though I don't know who I am anymore. I have one person in my life who knows about my struggles, but only only to a certain extent. We have been together for 8 years and he has been nothing but supportive. Riddled with guilt I don't accept the things he says to make me feel better, only I push him away.

How do you cope with feeling so low and alone? Do you ever feel like you could be gone tomorrow and no one would bat an eyelid? I cry over absolutely everything I just cannot control the tears.

Have been thinking about going to the GP but scared I'll be prescribed something! Anyone who has taken anti-pressants or been prescribed others how did it affect you or does it really make you worse in some cases?

Thanks

RabbleRouser2k

HaloPower wrote: »

Hi all, new to this thread, and Boards.

I joined specifically to talk to other people who feel the same way as I do.

I'm 23, female and for the past 7 years have wondered what life would be like if I didn't have that termination. My life and mind changed forever. That girl is long gone. I feel as though I don't know who I am anymore. I have one person in my life who knows about my struggles, but only only to a certain extent. We have been together for 8 years and he has been nothing but supportive. Riddled with guilt I don't accept the things he says to make me feel better, only I push him away.

How do you cope with feeling so low and alone? Do you ever feel like you could be gone tomorrow and no one would bat an eyelid? I cry over absolutely everything I just cannot control the tears.

Have been thinking about going to the GP but scared I'll be prescribed something! Anyone who has taken anti-pressants or been prescribed others how did it affect you or does it really make you worse in some cases?

Thanks

I'm older than you Halo, and as a guy, i can never know your pain. So I wanted to respond to just offer my 2 cents.

Firstly, you made the right decision for you, at that time. It was a difficult decision. And I'm sorry you had to go through that. But would having a child then really have been the best decision? I've made bad choices too-many I wish I could change but that's the past-it can't hurt you unless you let it. Your partner cares about you, and that's import to moving forward.

The loneliness...well, exercise helps. Fresh air and so on. But remember, you're not alone. You have your boyfriend. The crying may indicate a chemical imbalance, so meds may be needed.

It may help to seek counselling as well as talking to your GP. Anti depressants are water wings, and don't be scared taking them. Everyone takes something at some point, be it an aspirin or an antibiotic for an infection. It takes a few weeks to adjust to em. For a time it may worsen, but after a few weeks it lessens. And lessens. You need to stay in touch with your GP though. Like to adjust doses.

Hope it helps.

HaloPower

Thanks for your input!

In my mind I know I'm not alone. I have my boyfriend, a great family and great friends, but I could be in a room with 1000 people and still feel alone. It's so hard to explain.

I guess I know I made the right decision, it's just the guilt of taking that life away. As well as the fear of karma. When we are ready are we even going to able to have children, and if we don't will he then resent me for making that decision? The battle I'm in is with myself and with myself only.

What would I even start by saying if I went to a gp? How did you approach it?

Tell me how

HaloPower wrote: »

Hi all, new to this thread, and Boards.

I joined specifically to talk to other people who feel the same way as I do.

I'm 23, female and for the past 7 years have wondered what life would be like if I didn't have that termination. My life and mind changed forever. That girl is long gone. I feel as though I don't know who I am anymore. I have one person in my life who knows about my struggles, but only only to a certain extent. We have been together for 8 years and he has been nothing but supportive. Riddled with guilt I don't accept the things he says to make me feel better, only I push him away.

How do you cope with feeling so low and alone? Do you ever feel like you could be gone tomorrow and no one would bat an eyelid? I cry over absolutely everything I just cannot control the tears.

Have been thinking about going to the GP but scared I'll be prescribed something! Anyone who has taken anti-pressants or been prescribed others how did it affect you or does it really make you worse in some cases?

Thanks

Hi HaloPower,

Speaking purely from a depression perspective, I have a experience of being in the position of being so alone and crying daily. I needed professional care and that started with speaking to my GP. I used my GP then to coordinate my care through, psychyatrists, counsellors and in patient care over the coming years. I did end up on medication and at one point thought I would be on it for the rest of my life but thankfully I have been off it now for a couple of years. I have extensively used, and continue to use talk therapy.

Please don't be afraid of medication, therapy or even in-patient care should that be necessary (it usually isn't). The challenge is to get the right mix, in my opinion (unqualified as it is) I think talking therapy is the most beneficial but medication is often absolutely necessary to correct chemical imbalances which some people possess. The challenge with medication is to allow it time to see how it is affecting you in order to get the right dose and then to recognize when it is necessary to increase it or possibly to decrease it as hopefully the case may be. It is absolutely critical to follow the prescriptions given with medication and to not self medicate by increasing or decreasing the dose without the instruction of the prescriber.

I would strongly feel (again an unqualified opinion) that you need specific counselling support for your experience. You were obviously very young when you had to go through that and it seems like you have carried it largely on your own without any professional guidance since then. There is such support out there but it can take time, and particularly given the period over which you have been dealing with this. It may mean sharing your most intimate memories regarding it and so could be very difficult to go through but ultimately I believe it would help you enormously. Given the stories online, and in the news at the moment relating to the 8th amendment, it might provoke a lot of feelings for you when you don't expect them so try to have some way to not let those get on top of you should they happen unexpectedly.

You have taken a very big step in trying to get guidance. I must caution you, that there is no quick fix, finding the right mix of medication and finding the right therapist can take a lot of time but it is necessary and it does work. You are lucky that you have someone who you recognize as being supportive, if you can get support from others through seeking treatment, I would try to avail of them if you feel you can trust them.

Finally, I feel I lost 8 years of my life to depression which sounds dramatic but I feel strongly that this was the case. I lost friendships, wasn't able to form a relationship and frequently spent over 40 hours in bed, only getting up to eat and then going straight back. But, it can lift. I am in a much better place than I was in the past and I notice things daily which give me a joy that for years I didn't see. I got through it because of professional care including those mentioned above and the support of those very close to me. I believe you will get through this and I know from experience that finding the joy in life after being in a place where you wished it was over will make you feel like you might burst with happiness.

This is a long post but I as you came here for help, I'm trying to in the only way I can.

Best of luck on your journey.

HaloPower

Thanks very much Tell me how!

I guess my main worry with medication is that it will make me so bad that I can't leave the house. My work is really important to me and keeps me sane!

My main worry about going to my GP is how I'm going to come out with it. Since I went abroad every time I go to the doctor they look through my history and look at me with so much pity if anything it makes me more anxious. I think about what they think of me because of what I've done. How did you first tell them how you're feeling? I almost feel like I'd be burdening them with my issues.

I know that I really need to speak with a professional I have known that since I was 16 I really don't want to say out loud how I felt when I was there it makes me feel sick now to think about it, but it's been such a long time I know that the emotions shouldn't be this raw! I'll take your advice and think about going to my gp but any advice on how to approach the conversation would be so appreciated!

How do you feel now? Do you still have bad days?

RabbleRouser2k

HaloPower wrote: »

Thanks for your input!

In my mind I know I'm not alone. I have my boyfriend, a great family and great friends, but I could be in a room with 1000 people and still feel alone. It's so hard to explain.

I guess I know I made the right decision, it's just the guilt of taking that life away. As well as the fear of karma. When we are ready are we even going to able to have children, and if we don't will he then resent me for making that decision? The battle I'm in is with myself and with myself only.

What would I even start by saying if I went to a gp? How did you approach it?

No problem.

It's not so hard to explain-that's depression, that's mental illness. I know the feeling you have-cos I've had it. And I still do from time to time.

Sadly, that's a part of every choice in life-regret. I have many. (My dog dying by poisoning a week ago is one I carry massive guilt about-I could have done more, I feel. No matter how much I tried. As I do for many of my dogs who have passed-sorry if this analogy is insulting, I don't mean it to be. It's on my mind because I had to bury my dog today, the one who was poisoned. It was a sombre moment.) Also, I've done college, twice, and left in the final year of both programs. Eight years, nothing to show for it. Major regrets.

A life ended is far better than a life where one feels like a burden. At 15, you made a decision-and nobody can really know if it was the 'right' decision-it was just a decision. But beating yourself up over it is going to get you nowhere. And if Karma is going to come after you for that, then it's got it's priorities mixed up- there are warmongers who lived
to old age.

Well, the first time I ever went to a GP, I was 15-that time I was suffering from depression. I went with my mother(due to my age), but when I've gone since hitting 18, I went on my own. Broaching it, I told them how I was feeling, that I thought it was depression, and that I was struggling to cope, often going to bed in the middle of the day to avoid speaking to anyone. I even got blood tests, just as a precaution (he wanted to rule out other possible causes). It's less stressful than you may imagine. I mean, people go to their doctor with ailments that are much more embarrassing or difficult to deal with-mental illness shouldn't be seen as a major taboo. If you need your boyfriend to go with you, I would take him.

StoodUpTooFast

I had a really bad episode tonight.

I'm living abroad temporarily for work, and I just snapped. Trivial annoyances really set me off these days, and tonight it just got too much. I trashed the apartment. I beat myself silly by hitting myself with my fists, smacking items off my self, throwing myself into the wall. I looked in the mirror and hated the sight of how fat I am and just punched my stomach relentlessly for about 60 seconds.

What do you do when you don't want to live anymore, yet you know you can never take that last step? I have 4 people in the world that I care about. The thought of them being upset or in pain means that I would never kill myself, yet I want to do it so much. The whole "permanent solution" argument doesn't help because that's what makes it so appealling. I want a solution, and I don't want it to be temporary. But I don't want to upset anyone.

I hate how suicide is viewed. How people view it as "selfish to inflict pain on those around you" yet I'm expected to carry on living a hidden, miserable life in pain to keep them happy. And I know it's hypocritical because I won't do it (I guess it's like criticising people for buying the latest Apple products, yet queuing up myself to buy it anyway).

How do you cope with not wanting to live but not being able to do anything about it?

RabbleRouser2k

StoodUpTooFast wrote: »

I had a really bad episode tonight.

I'm living abroad temporarily for work, and I just snapped. Trivial annoyances really set me off these days, and tonight it just got too much. I trashed the apartment. I beat myself silly by hitting myself with my fists, smacking items off my self, throwing myself into the wall. I looked in the mirror and hated the sight of how fat I am and just punched my stomach relentlessly for about 60 seconds.

What do you do when you don't want to live anymore, yet you know you can never take that last step? I have 4 people in the world that I care about. The thought of them being upset or in pain means that I would never kill myself, yet I want to do it so much. The whole "permanent solution" argument doesn't help because that's what makes it so appealling. I want a solution, and I don't want it to be temporary. But I don't want to upset anyone.

I hate how suicide is viewed. How people view it as "selfish to inflict pain on those around you" yet I'm expected to carry on living a hidden, miserable life in pain to keep them happy. And I know it's hypocritical because I won't do it (I guess it's like criticising people for buying the latest Apple products, yet queuing up myself to buy it anyway).

How do you cope with not wanting to live but not being able to do anything about it?

It might be time to look into therapy, StoodUpTooFast. And possible medication. Self harming and having severe suicidal thoughts is an indicator that something is wrong. From what you describe, that sounds like you had a nervous or emotional breakdown. And those are not fun.

If even one person cares about you, whether it's a parent or a post man, then there is a reason to keep fighting and stay around. When I was a teenager, and being fat, the thought of my embarrassed parents not being able to lift my coffin at a funeral was literally the only thing that stopped me ending my own life. That was all it took. (I'm still a heavy guy-also tall tho, so that hides it a little. ) Another thing that stops me is that I have been to two funerals that were the results of suicide.

It was two too many. The devastated friends, family and loved ones. People literally having to be carried out of the church at one because of the sheer overpowering panic attacks and sadness...it's horrible. Truly horrible.

Tell me how

StoodUpTooFast wrote: »

How do you cope with not wanting to live but not being able to do anything about it?

You try to recognize that feelings of not wanting to live, are part of the illness and can and will go away.

You reach out to anyone who can support you in receiving care. You are unwell, it is not your fault and not something which is incurable. If you can, start by talking to your Dr. If you find it difficult, print out the message you posted here and bring it with you. Good luck.

Tell me how

HaloPower wrote: »

Thanks very much Tell me how!

I guess my main worry with medication is that it will make me so bad that I can't leave the house. My work is really important to me and keeps me sane!

My main worry about going to my GP is how I'm going to come out with it. Since I went abroad every time I go to the doctor they look through my history and look at me with so much pity if anything it makes me more anxious. I think about what they think of me because of what I've done. How did you first tell them how you're feeling? I almost feel like I'd be burdening them with my issues.

I know that I really need to speak with a professional I have known that since I was 16 I really don't want to say out loud how I felt when I was there it makes me feel sick now to think about it, but it's been such a long time I know that the emotions shouldn't be this raw! I'll take your advice and think about going to my gp but any advice on how to approach the conversation would be so appreciated!

How do you feel now? Do you still have bad days?

The idea with medication is to ramp up the dose gradually so it does not become debilitating in other aspects of your life. If you explain your concerns to your Dr, they will keep in mind that it is important for you to be able to maintain elements of your life which currently help you. At one point, when I was very ill, my Dr wanted to sign me off work on sick leave but the only thing I was able to do was go to work so I continued to do so and my Dr supported me through that.

I started my conversation with my GP by telling them I had been finding it difficult to sleep, wasn't able to enjoy things and some days couldn't get out of bed. It started from there.

Some people do find it difficult and feel that they are embarrassed and as a consequence, don't tell the Dr the full story or make light of it. This is a natural behavior but can delay getting the right care. It's nearly more important to be truthful with this than other illnesses because there are very few tests which can be performed to determine the extent of the problem. Some people struggle with telling their Dr of their darkest thoughts but it is necessary. If you feel that you will get there but not be able to speak, maybe bring your BF with you, or write out in advance what you want to say and hand them the note.

alanzo27

I feel awful the last few days. Apologies for the text wall that follows.

I feel like a failure and that I am never going to progress anywhere. Haven't been sleeping well at all. Constant racing mind. If I can't even get part time work in a shop then what hope is there? Even if I was offered a place I would freeze and completely breakdown with fear. I've lost count of how many jobs I have applied for since dropping out of the Level 6 I was in a month ago. Tailoring my CV as best as I could to each job description. Every job I apply for terrifies me with their descriptions and requirements such as "Extremely fast paced environment" and "Must be quick".

I am terrible at multitasking, I am not quick at doing tasks and even simple tasks like answering a phone and interpreting information is a huge struggle. I feel like I am even struggling to speak coherently and that my thought process is completely gone. I have this fear that I would be seen as useless and be fired on the spot on the first day.

I thought I was doing well the last 2 years by doing a course in an area I enjoyed but now it feels like I am not good at anything and that I will never gain employment. It's embarrassing at 25 I should be in a stable career and have a lot of experience behind me, but all I have is a couple of Level 5's and no real work experience. Even what I have learned I feel I have forgotten it all already.

I am not looking for a high paying job. all I am seeking is stability and some sense that I am contributing to society in some way. I'm in a horrible negative cycle at the moment and I can't seem to get out of it. I should be happy that I have a roof over my head and have supportive parents but the fact that I can't provide for myself is making me feel miserable. I have been doing some voluntary work once a week but that is ending next week and I honestly just don't know what to do. I just want to feel like I have a purpose.

I do tend to rant a lot here so I don't blame anyone for not reading this.

titan18

What are people's thoughts? Tell your manager about your depression or keep them out of it, if you don't know how they'll react.

Also, @Alanzo, don't worry, I've read your post, and whilst I definitely understand where you're coming from, having a job comes with it's own set of issues too. Would you try volunteering work maybe? Looking at your profile, you're into computing, so maybe something like small scale web development for non-profits (not even really web dev, think of something like Wordpress if you're creative), or computer repair for them. Even it's something like doing social media for local organisations, managing a web presence. All things that are easy enough to do when you know your way around a PC, and builds up some experience and relationships that you might be able to use for a paying job down the line. Maybe you have family or parents have friends that could help you get a start like that.

Tell me how

alanzo27 wrote: »

I feel awful the last few days. Apologies for the text wall that follows.

I feel like a failure and that I am never going to progress anywhere. Haven't been sleeping well at all. Constant racing mind. If I can't even get part time work in a shop then what hope is there? Even if I was offered a place I would freeze and completely breakdown with fear. I've lost count of how many jobs I have applied for since dropping out of the Level 6 I was in a month ago. Tailoring my CV as best as I could to each job description. Every job I apply for terrifies me with their descriptions and requirements such as "Extremely fast paced environment" and "Must be quick".

I am terrible at multitasking, I am not quick at doing tasks and even simple tasks like answering a phone and interpreting information is a huge struggle. I feel like I am even struggling to speak coherently and that my thought process is completely gone. I have this fear that I would be seen as useless and be fired on the spot on the first day.

I thought I was doing well the last 2 years by doing a course in an area I enjoyed but now it feels like I am not good at anything and that I will never gain employment. It's embarrassing at 25 I should be in a stable career and have a lot of experience behind me, but all I have is a couple of Level 5's and no real work experience. Even what I have learned I feel I have forgotten it all already.

I am not looking for a high paying job. all I am seeking is stability and some sense that I am contributing to society in some way. I'm in a horrible negative cycle at the moment and I can't seem to get out of it. I should be happy that I have a roof over my head and have supportive parents but the fact that I can't provide for myself is making me feel miserable. I have been doing some voluntary work once a week but that is ending next week and I honestly just don't know what to do. I just want to feel like I have a purpose.

I do tend to rant a lot here so I don't blame anyone for not reading this.

Hi alanzo27.

I think you are being very hard on yourself and it seems your self esteem is at rock bottom. Don't worry about not being in a particular place in your life, there is no rule and everyone walks different paths at different times.
Could you get work in a place where you could build up your confidence, somewhere where there might not be huge pressure? Such as in a charity shop for example. Just to build up your confidence.

Give yourself some credit for wanting and trying to make things better for yourself, don't put pressure on that it has to happen quickly and absolutely try not to put pressure on yourself by using words like "should". There is no should, you do what you can, as you can and if it is difficult today, try again tomorrow.

Take care.

Tell me how

titan18 wrote: »

What are people's thoughts? Tell your manager about your depression or keep them out of it, if you don't know how they'll react.

Hi titan18.
Is your depression affecting how you do your job? If so, I would probably tell them that you are dealing with personal issues but do not divulge any more than what you are comfortable with.

if you tell them, and things are difficult at work, you may feel under more pressure because you think they are watching you more closely, or if they get stern with you over something, you might think it is related to your issues. It really is a personal thing but in my case, I didn't tell my boss until my illness was affecting my ability to do my job. I was lucky enough that he was very supportive.

One thing I would say though is that if you do tell them that you ask them to keep it in confidence between you and them.

veganrun

Anyone here think they are a bit awkward and weird socially? I was invited to the afters of a wedding of a work colleague. I was a bit nervous going, not sure why. I guess it’s my first or second social gathering since my anxiety flared up a number of weeks back.

Even though I was sitting at a table of several people I knew from work, I somehow after a while ended up sitting there talking to no-one. The one or two I had been chatting to went to the bar for ages and the rest were talking amongst themselves.

In my head I started thinking “why is this happening, why am I Billy no mates again, they must think I’m boring and/or a loser”. Then I start wondering why I never meet any women to date. It’s literally zero. I’ve been on internet dating sites and met/dated women from those but that’s it. I kind of feel like a bit of a failure that I’ve never met someone “in the real world” so to speak. I mean I literally almost never encounter women that I can start talking to, except at work. Even then there’s only a couple at work that I’d be interested in and I’m not sure it’s a good idea to pursue it anyway for differing reasons. I wouldn’t even know what to do and go from just idle chit chat to anything else. With internet dating it’s easy as everyone is single and is there to meet someone. Offline you’ve no idea who’s single, who’s not or how to go from being friendly to something more. At least that’s how it is for me.

My hobbies tend to lead me to be a bit isolated. I took up a martial art that does require interacting with others but I have only went a handful of times and not enough to become friendly even with the guys and it’s about 98% male anyway.

I bumped into my neighbour and got somewhat friendly with her and we swapped numbers and she has suggested going cycling together a few times which I’ve said yes to but which has not happened. Anytime I text her she usually replies straight away but unless I initiate contact, I never hear from her. To prove my point, the last time we were in contact was August. I have deliberately not made contact as It was always me contacting her. I don’t even know if I’m that interested anyway but it’s more to prove a point about my general social weirdness.

I never used to think this way but I guess I’ve been overthinking more and more this past few years since the anxiety started.

runningbuddy

Have any of ye taken advantage of Employee Assistance Program in work? Am having my first counselling session next week. I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, which has gong through the roof past 2 weeks .

Might be worth consider for some of ye. I can empathise, it's a C**t of an illness x

Tell me how

veganrun wrote:

Anyone here think they are a bit awkward and weird socially? I was invited to the afters of a wedding of a work colleague. I was a bit nervous going, not sure why. I guess it’s my first or second social gathering since my anxiety flared up a number of weeks back.

Hi veganrun.

Most people, if they're being honest, feel awkward in social occasions in some way or another so go easy on yourself in that respect.

You look to have a lot of things going for you obviously struggle to deal with the slant anxiety puts on them.

Are you seeing a therapist to get help with your issues?

trixiebust

Another wall of text.... apologies in advance

After living through 2 years of torture with neighbors, losing myself & very nearly my marriage in that time, I summoned up some courage a few days ago & stood up to the bullies.

I showed them up for what they really are, & left them dumfounded at the door. So much so, all they had left was insults. That my stepdaughter was in care, & she was taken from us. Which couldn't be further from the truth if they tried. Infact, yesterday she informed me she wants to do law with social justice next year in DCU
About how they work & pay their mortgage, while we don't, equating to them being able to do as they please at all hours day or night.
Then they told me they would "get me".
I retorted by telling them how they think I'm the crazy one, but I have just confirmed my own suspicions, it was never me, but these two all along.

Eventually ended up ringing the guards, after that threat. They were some help, & the constant noise has calmed down ( for now ). Feeling like I have slayed an inner demon here, so a little proud of myself

greenfield21

Does anybody here do stupid things when driving that you think about over and over after it happens. Its Probably my anxiety thinking about the consequence of hurting someone. Id nearly consider giving up driving because of it. This is probably nothing got to do with this thread ha.

jsms88

greenfield21 wrote: »

Does anybody here do stupid things when driving that you think about over and over after it happens. Its Probably my anxiety thinking about the consequence of hurting someone. Id nearly consider giving up driving because of it. This is probably nothing got to do with this thread ha.

Yeah, it’s anxiety... Panicking about the possible consequences of something. It’s perfectly relevant.

I don’t have any issues with it when driving but I do worry like this about lots of other things on a daily basis. It can be exhausting (and frustrating of course).

veganrun

Tell me how wrote: »

veganrun wrote:

Anyone here think they are a bit awkward and weird socially? I was invited to the afters of a wedding of a work colleague. I was a bit nervous going, not sure why. I guess it’s my first or second social gathering since my anxiety flared up a number of weeks back.

Hi veganrun.

Most people, if they're being honest, feel awkward in social occasions in some way or another so go easy on yourself in that respect.

You look to have a lot of things going for you obviously struggle to deal with the slant anxiety puts on them.

Are you seeing a therapist to get help with your issues?

I have tried CBT before but not sure if it worked for me. I can rationalise things, I just don’t listen to those rational thoughts.

Someone suggested psychotherapy instead. To be honest I don’t really know what that is and if it would make any difference.

veganrun

veganrun wrote: »

I have tried CBT before but not sure if it worked for me. I can rationalise things, I just don’t listen to those rational thoughts.

Someone suggested psychotherapy instead. To be honest I don’t really know what that is and if it would make any difference.

How would you feel about doing a bit of research into different forms of therapy just to get a feel for them?

HalloweenJack

Anybody ever get that heavy feeling inside your head? Like you can literally feel the black clouds rolling around inside your skull?

That's where I'm at right now.

runningbuddy

Yes, h'ween jack, have been there. That usually follows on from chronic anxiety :mad:

Effexor dose uppped this week so will see. I feel your pain :eek: