Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

runningbuddy

How you doing today Halloween J?

Gremlinertia

Been the most hectic few weeks for me, needed rapid appointment with outpatients and all. From highs to witnessing a terrible incident earlier in the week I'm just confused and numb and depressed in turn..

Tell me how

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Been the most hectic few weeks for me, needed rapid appointment with outpatients and all. From highs to witnessing a terrible incident earlier in the week I'm just confused and numb and depressed in turn..

Hope you got to offload/get support about the incident appropriately. Stuff like that can eat at you from the inside.

Gremlinertia

Tell me how wrote: »

Hope you got to offload/get support about the incident appropriately. Stuff like that can eat at you from the inside.

The reg i got for my outpatient appointment was a good one thankfully and i got to speak i lot. A lot. I'll need to talk further but have been in touch with Console who were great the last few times things like this happened around me.. Thank you so much for your concern, means a lot.

HalloweenJack

runningbuddy wrote: »

How you doing today Halloween J?

Much better today, thanks.

I'm fidgety and what I'd call positively anxious, full of energy, so it's a pretty dramatic upswing.

runningbuddy

HalloweenJack wrote: »

Much better today, thanks.

I'm fidgety and what I'd call positively anxious, full of energy, so it's a pretty dramatic upswing.

Good you having a better day

okatied

Not sure if I should post this here or not.
Today, for the first time in ages, I think I felt normal, or more precisely, what I think normal is. I was in Liffe y Valley and I didn't get overwhelmed by things when they went wrong. I had a coffee in a cafe with 2 screaming kids and I didn't just walk out. I couldn't find a book in Easons and I asked for help at the new help station. I felt like a functioning member of society for the first time in a very long time.
I finally think I might be coming out the other end 🀞

snowflaker

Guys checking in to wish you all well, I'm in a good place atm, and it feels great, but I'm sure the black dog will return.

But know that things do improve

RabbleRouser2k

alanzo27 wrote: »

I feel awful the last few days. Apologies for the text wall that follows.

I feel like a failure and that I am never going to progress anywhere. Haven't been sleeping well at all. Constant racing mind. If I can't even get part time work in a shop then what hope is there? Even if I was offered a place I would freeze and completely breakdown with fear. I've lost count of how many jobs I have applied for since dropping out of the Level 6 I was in a month ago. Tailoring my CV as best as I could to each job description. Every job I apply for terrifies me with their descriptions and requirements such as "Extremely fast paced environment" and "Must be quick".

I am terrible at multitasking, I am not quick at doing tasks and even simple tasks like answering a phone and interpreting information is a huge struggle. I feel like I am even struggling to speak coherently and that my thought process is completely gone. I have this fear that I would be seen as useless and be fired on the spot on the first day.

I thought I was doing well the last 2 years by doing a course in an area I enjoyed but now it feels like I am not good at anything and that I will never gain employment. It's embarrassing at 25 I should be in a stable career and have a lot of experience behind me, but all I have is a couple of Level 5's and no real work experience. Even what I have learned I feel I have forgotten it all already.

I am not looking for a high paying job. all I am seeking is stability and some sense that I am contributing to society in some way. I'm in a horrible negative cycle at the moment and I can't seem to get out of it. I should be happy that I have a roof over my head and have supportive parents but the fact that I can't provide for myself is making me feel miserable. I have been doing some voluntary work once a week but that is ending next week and I honestly just don't know what to do. I just want to feel like I have a purpose.

I do tend to rant a lot here so I don't blame anyone for not reading this.

You're preaching to choir here. I'm in a similar position to you-but older. No real work experience either, and get mocked a lot for it. I've got a level 6, but no work experience outside of that. I look around me, see all my friends and family having jobs. And fair dues to them. I even know guys and gals who've dropped out of secondary and are doing well for themselves.
I often feel like I never left my teen years-maybe I'm one of the few people who admits it, tbh. Like, I'm incredibly immature-the crap that doesn't bother anyone else bothers me immensely. And I never grew out of that stage either. Like, I'm a massive kid at heart.

I had to sign on because I had no income coming in-and even the folks at the social welfare were looking at me like I was a leper, due to my rather haphazard work experiences. Felt like I was being made fun of, tbh. Only one was understanding, in relation to my issues with mental illness.

Dragons

Hi everyone,
Ive developed GAD,panic attacks and low moods since about 9 weeks ago.i started taking meds 3 weeks ago and feel they have gotten worse.
There isnt anything specific that causes it really.it can come and go randomly but im constantly anxious all the time.
Im just waiting for these meds to kick in and help me a little but so far i just wake up everyday feeling weird.like things just dont seem right.
I think this is just me getting used to the meds settling as its only 3 weeks.
Did anyone else feel like this when first taking medication for anxiety?

RabbleRouser2k

Dragons wrote: »

Hi everyone,
Ive developed GAD,panic attacks and low moods since about 9 weeks ago.i started taking meds 3 weeks ago and feel they have gotten worse.
There isnt anything specific that causes it really.it can come and go randomly but im constantly anxious all the time.
Im just waiting for these meds to kick in and help me a little but so far i just wake up everyday feeling weird.like things just dont seem right.
I think this is just me getting used to the meds settling as its only 3 weeks.
Did anyone else feel like this when first taking medication for anxiety?

Yes-most definitely. For me it was two weeks to just feel a little better, and 3 weeks to start to feel the benefits. After that it was a day by day affair, and (pardon the cliche) an emotional rollercoaster. It's not like taking an apsirin, where you feel the benefit almost straight away.
It takes time.

Tell me how

Dragons wrote:

Did anyone else feel like this when first taking medication for anxiety?

My experience is with depression medication but here's something I think applies to both.

The graph of effect of medication is not necessarily a straight line upwards. It can be like a sine wave or even more dramatic with significant changes from one day to next, like daily temperatures, up and down.

The hope is that the general trend is upwards. I think it's important to remember this when speaking to the presciber because if you've had 2 or 3 low days at the time of visiting them, if they were preceded by 3, 4 good days, then it may be best not to change the meds.

Dragons

I actually had a talk with my psychiatrist yesterday and he said they should be working by now and asked if i wanted to switch.
Im 3 weeks in now so going to keep on going and hope for the best.
I dont mind even having bad days when i know i have an anxiety disorder but on the really down days when i think im never going to get better i loose faith.i feel like im so out of sink with normal people.
But gonna struggle through and see how it goes.
Its only scary as 10 weeks ago i was fully functional,taking my kids and working full time.now im just visiting them and im out of work so my whole life has been changed by this.
Im just praying for a change soon.
Thank you for your comments

Gremlinertia

Take your time Dragons, may have to switch dosage or meds yet. Have to say it's very impressive how comprehensively and quickly you've tackled this.. I wasted many, many years, well done to you, stay the course, someone is always here, welcome to the thread..

Dragons

Thanks very much.
This mess started with me getting migranes.

i started getting worried about them so doc gave me citalopram,said it would stop the migranes.5 weeks later i had lost nearly 2 stone,hadnt slept or ate properly,started having panic attacks,depression and got GAD.

I went to local psychiatric hospital and refused to leave till they took me in.they gave me a few different ssri's over 3 days and i was worse.
Then they gave me mirtazapine and i slept 10 hours straight.started eating again the day after that so got kicked out and now its 3 weeks later.

Still seems mad looking back now

Dragons

Feel a lot more like myself today.
Out for a jog and all😊
My cloudy head seems to have lifted a bit today and i can focus more on what im doing instead of what im thinking.

Tell me how

Dragons wrote: »

Feel a lot more like myself today.
Out for a jog and all��
My cloudy head seems to have lifted a bit today and i can focus more on what im doing instead of what im thinking.

That's great news. Glad to hear it.

misstearheus

Hi guys! Not sure if I've ever posted here actually. This could be my first one. Don't have Depression But I read this Thread a lot, in unity with ye all.. I came across some Adult relaxing Colouring-Books in Lidl last week, they had some cool Patterns in them. Just thought would mention it as I see ye post about them here an odd time.

chatticusfinch

Grappled a bit about writing this, but I can't sleep, so here goes.

I've had depression a long time, maybe 15 years by now, and for the most part, I'm high functioning, as I'm sure a lot of my fellow depressed people are. I could get up, go to school, work, whatever. It was always there, of course, at the back of my mind, but you had to get on with it, and on and on and on...

Lately though, **** me, things have not been easy. I had a serious health scare, my personal life and professional life are in the ****, and it's getting to hard just being depressed. I'm not a danger to myself, or anything, and it is something i've had treatment for in the past. I know my depression and I'm accepting of it, to a degree.

I just hate it. I hate how long lasting it is, I hate how invisible it is, I hate how people will either look at you as a pathetic thing, or ignore it. I hate how you can't really talk to people about it. (that whole talk to someone bull**** really annoys me. Talk to someone qualified, yes, but I guarantee that you'll lose friends if you disclose a mental illness, I sure have)

Like it's becoming a question now of do things get better? Or do you just get better at coping? Obviously, this brings with it a lot of thought. Can depression truly be cured, or is it just the chemical makeup of whatever messed up brain you got. I'm just worn down lately, and these are the nights that can be tough.

Rant over.

RabbleRouser2k

I know this is an odd question to ask-but does anyone ever get a 'wonky' bladder during times of stress?Like seriously stressful situations (where your stress skyrockets)? What I mean is, for the last three weeks, with everything that happened (dogs being poisoned and other stuff) my urine control went crazy on me. Now, this has happened before, about 10 years ago during a family illness when a family member was dying.
I couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough-too often having an accident on my way to the toilet (felt like it went from 'urge to pee-then peed myself').
It may just be me, or it may be a mild kidney/ bladder infection. I dunno.
Took paracetamol for the last few days, and it's improved an awful lot. Even a running tap won't trigger a disaster now.
Just wondering this happens to anyone else?

murria

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

I know this is an odd question to ask-but does anyone ever get a 'wonky' bladder during times of stress?Like seriously stressful situations (where your stress skyrockets)? What I mean is, for the last three weeks, with everything that happened (dogs being poisoned and other stuff) my urine control went crazy on me. Now, this has happened before, about 10 years ago during a family illness when a family member was dying.
I couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough-too often having an accident on my way to the toilet (felt like it went from 'urge to pee-then peed myself').
It may just be me, or it may be a mild kidney/ bladder infection. I dunno.
Took paracetamol for the last few days, and it's improved an awful lot. Even a running tap won't trigger a disaster now.
Just wondering this happens to anyone else?

This used to happen to me all the time. At moments of minor panic, lost car park ticket, lost keys, I immediately needed to pee and in cases of more serious stress I was on and off the toilet all the time. I was told it was to do with the flight or fight response we have when we perceive danger. I learnt to manage it with CBT and mindfulness, although I do still get it in the minor moments a bit, but that might also be to do with the fact that I'm a middle aged woman .

Dragons

chatticusfinch wrote: »

Grappled a bit about writing this, but I can't sleep, so here goes.

I've had depression a long time, maybe 15 years by now, and for the most part, I'm high functioning, as I'm sure a lot of my fellow depressed people are. I could get up, go to school, work, whatever. It was always there, of course, at the back of my mind, but you had to get on with it, and on and on and on...

Lately though, **** me, things have not been easy. I had a serious health scare, my personal life and professional life are in the ****, and it's getting to hard just being depressed. I'm not a danger to myself, or anything, and it is something i've had treatment for in the past. I know my depression and I'm accepting of it, to a degree.

I just hate it. I hate how long lasting it is, I hate how invisible it is, I hate how people will either look at you as a pathetic thing, or ignore it. I hate how you can't really talk to people about it. (that whole talk to someone bull**** really annoys me. Talk to someone qualified, yes, but I guarantee that you'll lose friends if you disclose a mental illness, I sure have)

Like it's becoming a question now of do things get better? Or do you just get better at coping? Obviously, this brings with it a lot of thought. Can depression truly be cured, or is it just the chemical makeup of whatever messed up brain you got. I'm just worn down lately, and these are the nights that can be tough.

Rant over.

Im going through it too.
Im sorry I havnt got any grand advice for you.
Ive lost friends who either didnt understand or just didnt care.
I living each day with the hope that tomorrow will be a good day.i am hoping things can get better.
just dont ever think you are alone with this struggle.

I walk through a crowd and often wonder how many of the people around me are feeling the same but are afraid to say it to someone.

I hope your feeling better today

Tell me how

chatticusfinch wrote: »

Grappled a bit about writing this, but I can't sleep, so here goes.

I've had depression a long time, maybe 15 years by now, and for the most part, I'm high functioning, as I'm sure a lot of my fellow depressed people are. I could get up, go to school, work, whatever. It was always there, of course, at the back of my mind, but you had to get on with it, and on and on and on...

Lately though, **** me, things have not been easy. I had a serious health scare, my personal life and professional life are in the ****, and it's getting to hard just being depressed. I'm not a danger to myself, or anything, and it is something i've had treatment for in the past. I know my depression and I'm accepting of it, to a degree.

I just hate it. I hate how long lasting it is, I hate how invisible it is, I hate how people will either look at you as a pathetic thing, or ignore it. I hate how you can't really talk to people about it. (that whole talk to someone bull**** really annoys me. Talk to someone qualified, yes, but I guarantee that you'll lose friends if you disclose a mental illness, I sure have)

Like it's becoming a question now of do things get better? Or do you just get better at coping? Obviously, this brings with it a lot of thought. Can depression truly be cured, or is it just the chemical makeup of whatever messed up brain you got. I'm just worn down lately, and these are the nights that can be tough.

Rant over.

I firmly believe it can be cured to the point where it absolutely stops affecting your life in negative ways. I don't know if that means it is gone completely, I do believe that people who have suffered from it are more susceptible to it returning.

I also agree with the narrative around "just talk". I think that helps a huge number of people who are going through difficult times but when those difficult times have actually moved in to diagnosed depression talking needs to be very focused. I feel that if a depressed person was to speak entirely truthfully to a non-qualified person with no experience of depression, it could easily negatively impact that persons health because it is very difficult to know how to deal with it.

Depression can absolutely be exacerbated by situational events and it sounds like you are dealing with very difficult times as well as with the illness. When those events happen, I think it is important to recognize that you may be vulnerable to a dark spell. I use my therapist to help me through these. I might tell them I've something coming up in a few weeks and make a precautionary appointment which I can cancel if I don't feel the need to use it. This safety net has been a massive help for me.

I hope you have some support function which you can use during this time. If it helps, post/rant here as much as you want.

This thread seems to help different people in different ways, hopefully it might work for you in some way.

,mnb

chatticusfinch you make a very good point. The adds say "Talk to someone". Yes it is important to open up. But as you say the person just might not understand, just might not get it. This has happened me numerous times leaving me feeling embarrassed really. Also, talking helps but it doesn't mean your problems will go away. Maybe if you had a particular thing you worried about and talking eased your burden it could make you feel OK. But talking is only part of the solution for most people.
This thing that annoys me about the media now is that depression is wrapped up in a nice story. "I had this problem...Then I got help..Now I'm OK. " It's the story the public want to hear. Clean and simple. But for many people living with mental illness it's a medium term or long term battle.
The last 2 years have been really hard for me. I've been mostly depressed. It used to be that I would be OK for a while, then depressed for a short while, then OK. Now it is more persistent. I see a psychotherapist, psychiatrist, GP, I do exercise, meditation, eat healthily and drink in moderation. And I'm still not getting better. I'm waiting on an appointment with the Dean Clinic when I hope to see a new psychiatrist and ditch my current one. Fingers crossed. What are peoples experience of the Dean Clinic, is it good?

Tell me how

,mnb wrote: »

I'm waiting on an appointment with the Dean Clinic when I hope to see a new psychiatrist and ditch my current one. Fingers crossed. What are peoples experience of the Dean Clinic, is it good?

I had a positive experience of my time in St Pats which the Dean Clinics operate under. I was an inpatient though so may be different to what you are doing.

RabbleRouser2k

murria wrote: »

This used to happen to me all the time. At moments of minor panic, lost car park ticket, lost keys, I immediately needed to pee and in cases of more serious stress I was on and off the toilet all the time. I was told it was to do with the flight or fight response we have when we perceive danger. I learnt to manage it with CBT and mindfulness, although I do still get it in the minor moments a bit, but that might also be to do with the fact that I'm a middle aged woman .

Yeah, seems to have be something stress related. I know the nights have gotten colder too, but I found that this is something that's just snuck up on me. I think I wasn't minding myself, tbh (some very stressful situations that came out of nowhere). I've found taking some over the counter medications have helped enormously, been prone to an accident or two still, but nowhere near as bad. But it's more embarrassing than anything, having to shove the clothes into the wash after due to something I wish I should be able to control is entirely frustrating.
Like I said before, I had it ten years ago-didn't have it again until this situation. Ugh. I think there was something else going on too-a chill in the kidneys or something. Paracetamols and other stuff helped, a lot.

Dragons

Hi folks.
Ive been taking antidepressants for 3 and a half weeks for extreme anxiety.i also have the smallest dose of xanax for emergencies.
The side effects have finally gone but i dont think i have felt any benefits from them yet.
Ive had a few better days recently but ive still had to take a xanax.
The difference is that 2 weeks ago a xanax only took the edge off where as now i can get my thoughts on what im doing instead of how im feeling.
I still mostly have constant anxiety.

Im basically asking should i be getting some benefits by now?

Is it still early days?

Is the side effects going and my med not making me feel zonked anymore a good sign?

Thanks in advance

Gremlinertia

It can take a while to find your level, usually a gp will start out low and you may be reviewed monthly to monitor progress, btw love your name Dragons

Tell me how

Dragons wrote:

Im basically asking should i be getting some benefits by now?

Is it still early days?

Is the side effects going and my med not making me feel zonked anymore a good sign?

Hi Dragons.

Have you had the chance to ask these questions of your Dr?

They really are best placed to discuss it in the proper context.

If you get some answers here, it might mean you don't ask the same questions of them but I think it's important they hear of your experience.

Dragons

I will defo say to doc on my next appointment but wanted to ask on forum as was hopeing to get some advice from people that went through this.

The gp's say it should sfart working straight away,the fact sheet that comes with the tablets says 4 -8 weeks so thought peoples experience might be a better source for info