Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

RabbleRouser2k

stargazing123 wrote: »

ya it sure is. Ya my schoolwork is good and once I get studying i do quite well but school is hard for me since I don't have any friends. Everyone is in a group and sometimes although there are 1 or 2 girls that talk to me in class , I feel as though I will always be seen as an outsider. That's where the depression gets at me when I'm alone with my thoughts.

Depression is one of the most isolating conditions you can have-I've lived with it for most of my life.
One of the things about it is that it does make one feel like an outsider. That's okay, tons of people feel like an outsider-you won't be the outsider forever, because you'll make friends with the other outsiders.

I can't speak for others, but for me depression made me feel somewhat immature. I embrace it though, it feels like I didn't leave fantasy behind, that I hold onto my inner kid. I sorta feel like I never left my 17/ 18 year old self behind-that I'm stuck in that phase. Like, I can't relate to people my own age, because I'm too immature.

Forums like these are important-they allow us all to purge our emotions, get everything out there and coming from an angle of understanding.
Welcome to the boards.

northgirl

Was admitted to the Acute Mental HU in CUMH today for severe anxiety. Sharing a room which is really adding to my anxiety. Don't know if I'll sleep tonight. Tired but anxious. Anyone had experiences of admittance here?

RabbleRouser2k

northgirl wrote: »

Was admitted to the Acute Mental HU in CUMH today for severe anxiety. Sharing a room which is really adding to my anxiety. Don't know if I'll sleep tonight. Tired but anxious. Anyone had experiences of admittance here?

Damn-I'm sorry to hear that. Take a few deep breaths, like, just allow your breaths to be slow and take them in. That might help. You may very well get a few hours sleep, I find that even with bad anxiety I can doze off. It burns up so much energy.

Dragons

Has anyone been perscribed pregabalin (lyrica) for anxiety?

Gremlinertia

Dragons wrote: »

Has anyone been perscribed pregabalin (lyrica) for anxiety?

Yup, worked ok for me, changed because i was changing other things and they wouldn't work together

Dragons

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Yup, worked ok for me, changed because i was changing other things and they wouldn't work together

Giving it a try tomorrow.fingers crossed

Gremlinertia

BEst of luck with it

Dragons

Ok everyone.il try not to rant too much as im just tryimg to get a point across.

My situation has gone from fully functional to panic attacks,gad,clostraphobia,agoraphobia in the space of 3 months.

Denial held me back as i was confused about how,why,what was happening to me.i completely let it get control of me.



A member on here that has recovered now,put up a post saying they remember how bad it was and to go tell anxiety to $#@% off!!!

Well today i woke up with more anger than i can describe.i clenched my fists clothed my eyes and pictured my anxiety in my head and screamed at it!
I got upset and overwelmed but f@%# it,im was just sick to death of it affecting me.

So

I went to the hospital appointment alone,
i went shopping and actual took my time alone,
i went out with my kids for first time in weeks
And and
I actually went into a packed shopping centre,queued ages,was able to sit down and watch the new star wars movie in the cinema.

Fell to pieces after i came out but with exhilaration and happiness.

All the weirdness of the world is gone.it will probably come back tomorrow but it cant ever take this good day away from me.

So again before i go to bed.

Anxiety you can just go and f$@% yourself

northgirl

Dragons wrote: »

Ok everyone.il try not to rant too much as im just tryimg to get a point across.

My situation has gone from fully functional to panic attacks,gad,clostraphobia,agoraphobia in the space of 3 months.

Denial held me back as i was confused about how,why,what was happening to me.i completely let it get control of me.



A member on here that has recovered now,put up a post saying they remember how bad it was and to go tell anxiety to $#@% off!!!

Well today i woke up with more anger than i can describe.i clenched my fists clothed my eyes and pictured my anxiety in my head and screamed at it!
I got upset and overwelmed but f@%# it,im was just sick to death of it affecting me.

So

I went to the hospital appointment alone,
i went shopping and actual took my time alone,
i went out with my kids for first time in weeks
And and
I actually went into a packed shopping centre,queued ages,was able to sit down and watch the new star wars movie in the cinema.

Fell to pieces after i came out but with exhilaration and happiness.

All the weirdness of the world is gone.it will probably come back tomorrow but it cant ever take this good day away from me.

So again before i go to bed.

Anxiety you can just go and f$@% yourself

Good on you!

northgirl

Apologies if this is the wrong place for the following post but I need some advice with this.

I've struggled for many years with an eating disorder, depression and anxiety, the latter of which has become chronic. I am in the Mental Heath Unit but there's only so much they can do about the diet side and I am worried about managing food when I am discharged. My digestive system is all over the place and I've contacted a dietitian but that won't be until mid-January.

I used to be able to eat wholly and very healthily and essentially what I'm looking for is anyone who knows of or has tips on how to try and start a diet probably involving very small amounts of food during the day. Binging and purging has become a way of life over many years so I can't eat too much or I'll get sick.

All I've eaten today is a slice of toast and I know this isn't a medical advice forum but if I could try to stabilise my diet a little I think I would do a lot better. If anyone had previous experience of this or could offer any support or advice I would really be grateful.

Thanks.

RabbleRouser2k

northgirl wrote: »

Apologies if this is the wrong place for the following post but I need some advice with this.

I've struggled for many years with an eating disorder, depression and anxiety, the latter of which has become chronic. I am in the Mental Heath Unit but there's only so much they can do about the diet side and I am worried about managing food when I am discharged. My digestive system is all over the place and I've contacted a dietitian but that won't be until mid-January.

I used to be able to eat wholly and very healthily and essentially what I'm looking for is anyone who knows of or has tips on how to try and start a diet probably involving very small amounts of food during the day. Binging and purging has become a way of life over many years so I can't eat too much or I'll get sick.

All I've eaten today is a slice of toast and I know this isn't a medical advice forum but if I could try to stabilise my diet a little I think I would do a lot better. If anyone had previous experience of this or could offer any support or advice I would really be grateful.

Thanks.

The best advice I can give is mirror-mirror, it's a website that aims to help those recovering from anorexia. Under the recovery section, they have a normal eating recovery guide, as in how to slowly return to eating, by setting out a meal plan. Something as simple as 'never leave more than 3 hours between meals/ snacks' is one such tip, as well as plenty of fruit and veggies, to build up the immune system.
I don't want to give too much advice because I'm not a dietician or a doctor, and also I don't know who severe your condition is or isn't.
Only you really know that. But that is a very good website to look up for advice, and help. You can even contact them, as they keep all emails confidential, and given them some information on your current situation, such ashow you're looking for a short term relief while awaiting an appointment rather than seeking a full diagnosis.

Best of luck.

veganrun

Just thought I'd check in as it's been a while and I feel a slight rant coming on

So I've been back on the medication now I guess about 2.5 months and things seem better (hope I don't jinx it).  The Dr has me on 30mg citalopram but I'm hoping to reduce it down to 20mg in the next couple of months, but will talk to her first.

I had my review at work this week and it went well.  Last year I had a review and it went kind of bad and my then manager told me I'd be getting a negative score next time if things stayed the same.  I was pretty cheesed off to say the least as I felt it was partly unfair to compare me to someone with tons more experience of a certain skill.  I've also never had a bad review in my life so it was annoying to say the least.  That guy has since left and I have a new manager who seems a lot better and is very supportive and positive.

Now the slight rant.  How do people ever meet someone to date?  I'm starting to wonder is there something wrong with me or am I doing something wrong.  I literally never meet anyone.  At work there's one or two girls I kind of fancy but I don't see anything ever happening with them.  I don't meet anyone outside of work either.  I moved to this city about a year ago with the view of cutting my commute (which I have) and making new friends/meeting people (which I have not).

I've been on dating sites and met a few girls since I moved here but both times, it was obvious neither of us were interested which is fair enough.  I bumped into my neighbour who seems very friendly and always suggests meeting up to do something but nothing has ever happened.  To cut a long story short I couldn't figure out if she was interested but I realised today she wasn't as I met her and a guy coming out of her apartment and it's obvious they're some sort of couple.  I'm not sure if I was even that interested but I felt like an idiot for thinking perhaps she was interested.

Then I was thinking, how did people meet before the internet?  It's a relatively recent invention and the human race has prospered well enough until internet dating came along.  But it bugs me that I never ever meet anyone and even if I did, I wouldn't know how to progress from being friendly to anything else.  With internet dating it's obvious why both people are there but when you meet someone away from that context, I find it difficult to know what to do.

Like tonight the residents association where I live are having a meeting and small party and I thought about going but backed out.  I don't know anyone there and didn't really want to go on my own and part of my mind went "But you could meet some people there and become friendly and stuff" then the other part of my brain goes "Come on, you think that EVERY time and it NEVER happens, catch yourself on".

I'm 40 and starting to think I'll be single forever.  Everyone on my team at work is married or in relationships and I just seem to be drifting along invisible to everyone.

Gremlinertia

Hi Vegan, it really is hard to meet people, think the biggest problem for me was always overthinking every move i made, word i said even little gestures. Is there anything you personally are in to?. My like of reading fiction and quiet drinks while reading helped me meet similar people through facebook mainly o it wasn't a formal club..

RabbleRouser2k

Giving some update on my dental stuff. Got the veneer rebonded, but it still feels strange-probably gonna be a crown in the New Year.
It's weird-feels like it moves at times. But the dentist has said, if it doesn't take, he'll do a crown. But he'll take the cost of the crown from the veneer, so it won't cost as much.
Talking it over with family has relieved my 'toothless joe' fears. I think that is my anxiety talking again. Ugh.

veganrun wrote: »

Just thought I'd check in as it's been a while and I feel a slight rant coming on

Now the slight rant.  How do people ever meet someone to date?  I'm starting to wonder is there something wrong with me or am I doing something wrong.  I literally never meet anyone.  At work there's one or two girls I kind of fancy but I don't see anything ever happening with them.  I don't meet anyone outside of work either.  I moved to this city about a year ago with the view of cutting my commute (which I have) and making new friends/meeting people (which I have not).

I've been on dating sites and met a few girls since I moved here but both times, it was obvious neither of us were interested which is fair enough.  I bumped into my neighbour who seems very friendly and always suggests meeting up to do something but nothing has ever happened.  To cut a long story short I couldn't figure out if she was interested but I realised today she wasn't as I met her and a guy coming out of her apartment and it's obvious they're some sort of couple.  I'm not sure if I was even that interested but I felt like an idiot for thinking perhaps she was interested.

I'm 40 and starting to think I'll be single forever.  Everyone on my team at work is married or in relationships and I just seem to be drifting along invisible to everyone.

I don't know and cannot answer that-I know myself, that I've completely missed the signs when a girl was interested in me, even when I was interested in her too...dumb as fudge tbh.
And there've been a few who I looked back on and was like 'oh damn...she felt it too...fudge!!!'

Like, a good few years ago, there was an 18 year old girl who I had a serious crush on (I was 23/24). Well, I thought she was interested in other guys, tho she showed interest in a guy who was in his late 30s/ possibly early 40s, most were her age, or in their 20s. Well, I remember being good friends with her, even demonstrating my (Admittedly limited) French. (She was Belgian).
Well, I thought it was unrequited feelings, tbh.

Fast forward a few years later, another girl. This time, totally friends, on my part. Like, she has a boyfriend, I want nothing more than friendship (she's pretty, but not my type)-too busy with work and stuff. Well, I think 'oh yeah, she's a friend, drinking buddy etc'...well, I slowly discovered that she wanted to be 'more than friends'...but I'm not a two timer, never was, never will.
So I had to end the friendship, excuses as to why were 'oh work has me swamped' etc. I think it upset her, swear I heard crying on one occassion.
But it wouldn't be fair to the other guy either.

AliciaS

Went to my work party this weekend. I was dreading it all week. But I probably stayed longer than I should of. I ended up feeling left out and out of place. Spend a good portion of the day crying over it. I don't even know if I am right to be annoyed over it or am I seeing something that isn't there. fcuk social anxiety.

Tell me how

AliciaS wrote:

Went to my work party this weekend. I was dreading it all week. But I probably stayed longer than I should of. I ended up feeling left out and out of place. Spend a good portion of the day crying over it. I don't even know if I am right to be annoyed over it or am I seeing something that isn't there. fcuk social anxiety.

Really well done for going AliciaS.
I mean that. I really admire people who do things which they expect to be a test. I don't think you have any need to feel annoyed or upset at yourself for finding it difficult.

Next time, could you arrange to meet someone else who will be there for a drink first, to make it a little easier to connect with someone?

Gremlinertia

I second Tell Me How, well done for going. I don't have a works do, in the event there was one i'd be the person volunteering to work for it.. Social anxiety is a messy pig of a thing. I spend days, sometimes weeks going over what are usually imagined slights and mistakes, i was recently at a wedding, part of the the wedding party. Thought at many points i would faint or be sick, i shook like for a leaf for well over half the day. Somehow i got through (i think helping a friend at one point helped me) but i replayed everything in my head for a week after. Turns out nothing went wrong my anxiety just messed up my view..
So, in a very long winded way i want to say the same as you AliciaS, fcuk social anxiety

Dragons

Is 6 weeks long enough to wait for meds to start kicking in or do some take longer for full effect?

Tell me how

Dragons wrote:

Is 6 weeks long enough to wait for meds to start kicking in or do some take longer for full effect?

Dragons, we take meds to improve our mood but it is very challenging to get the perfect prescription immediately because A everyone's exact chemical makeup and requirements are different and B, the way each person reacts to them is also unique. Also, there is the fact that each med can be administered in doses of several different sizes and combinations, each which can take time to affect your body and then mood.

As well as these points, everyday life's trials and tribulations affect our mood so when you put these 5 (and there's more) things together it is very difficult to know whether meds are the perfect fit and dose for you.

Yes, after 6 weeks you should see some effect of the meds but that, in no way, means that they will continue to have the same effect on you after that time.

From reading your posts, I fear that maybe you are discounting some meds, or the prescriptions you are on quite quickly. I'm not judging you, and maybe I'm wrong in the way I've interpreted your messages but from my experience, the patient needs to be honest and balanced in reporting their form but then leaving it nearly entirely to the Dr to determine whether they are on the right dose or not.

I understand that you're married, I wonder if it "might" be an idea to maybe ask your wife to score your mood daily as she sees/interprets it to see whether there is a pattern of improvement/worsening which you might be too close to see at the moment.

Dragons

Tell me how wrote: »

Dragons, we take meds to improve our mood but it is very challenging to get the perfect prescription immediately because A everyone's exact chemical makeup and requirements are different and B, the way each person reacts to them is also unique. Also, there is the fact that each med can be administered in doses of several different sizes and combinations, each which can take time to affect your body and then mood.

As well as these points, everyday life's trials and tribulations affect our mood so when you put these 5 (and there's more) things together it is very difficult to know whether meds are the perfect fit and dose for you.

Yes, after 6 weeks you should see some effect of the meds but that, in no way, means that they will continue to have the same effect on you after that time.

From reading your posts, I fear that maybe you are discounting some meds, or the prescriptions you are on quite quickly. I'm not judging you, and maybe I'm wrong in the way I've interpreted your messages but from my experience, the patient needs to be honest and balanced in reporting their form but then leaving it nearly entirely to the Dr to determine whether they are on the right dose or not.

I understand that you're married, I wonder if it "might" be an idea to maybe ask your wife to score your mood daily as she sees/interprets it to see whether there is a pattern of improvement/worsening which you might be too close to see at the moment.

Its just a difference between different docs opinions ive been getting.
I started 6 weeks ago on a high dose.was told by 1 that its a 4 week wait and that if i wasnt imporving to ween off.
Then the higher up told me to stay because they can take six weeks.
My anxiety disorder is relatively new as in only a few months this time round so hard to judge weather the meds are helping as i have gotten worse.
I feel a lot worse than when i started but am having less panic attacks also.
Im just hoping that they kick in a little bit more over the next couple weeks.

Tell me how

Dragons wrote:

I feel a lot worse than when i started but am having less panic attacks also.

Relax. Whatever the reason, this is good. I hope you're using or considering talk therapy or meditation/relaxation techniques such as mindfulness also.

I don't know in particular why you feel they should kick in more in coming weeks. They are not drugs to give someone a high, they are to get us to normal function and behaviours and the reality is that in that space life still has it's ups and downs.

Gremlinertia

Take your time Dragons, anxiety makes us over think. Things are not exact with the mind, meds and other types of therapy.

Dragons

Tell me how wrote: »

Relax. Whatever the reason, this is good. I hope you're using or considering talk therapy or meditation/relaxation techniques such as mindfulness also.

I don't know in particular why you feel they should kick in more in coming weeks. They are not drugs to give someone a high, they are to get us to normal function and behaviours and the reality is that in that space life still has it's ups and downs.

Im not expecting miracles or a "high" off them.the reason im hoping they kick in more is that im still having panic attacks(less of them)but still have constant extreme,cant go back to work,cant stay anywhere for more than 2 hours without having to leave anxiety.
So being told by docs to stay on the same dose i was hoping i would get a bit more relief from them in the coming weeks.
Im doing counciling and cbt and have seen a psychologist.

RabbleRouser2k

Dragons wrote: »

Im not expecting miracles or a "high" off them.the reason im hoping they kick in more is that im still having panic attacks(less of them)but still have constant extreme,cant go back to work,cant stay anywhere for more than 2 hours without having to leave anxiety.
So being told by docs to stay on the same dose i was hoping i would get a bit more relief from them in the coming weeks.
Im doing counciling and cbt and have seen a psychologist.

As long as you're not getting worse, I think you have to give it time. As you say, you're having less attacks. That's a benefit, for sure.
If it was the opposite effect, as in more attacks, more stress, more anxiety, than it would be more important to seek advice from your doctors.

That's why you have to take the ebbs and flows of the meds. I know when I started taking the right medications, for a number of weeks, I was often sleeping in the armchair. Turns out I was lacking vitamins too, consulted with my GP, and went on a multivitamin too.

titan18

Yay, it's the most wonderful time of the year. *Vomits*

Nothing more depressing than walking out of work and you can't wait to already get back as it at least stops the loneliness and thinking

Gremlinertia

I'm working through mostly but I also go to either the hospital or a nursing home near me to visit. This year I have three people to visit during the afternoon

Tell me how

Gremlinertia wrote:

I'm working through mostly but I also go to either the hospital or a nursing home near me to visit. This year I have three people to visit during the afternoon

That's incredibly thoughtful Gremlinertia.

I know you benefit from the act as well but it's lovely to think of others in this way.

Tell me how

Hope everyone is doing ok and gets through the next few days with little discomfort.

It can be a very trying time of the year for a lot of people so don't worry if it is difficult.

I was quite low this morning but am going to try to manage myself so that feeling doesn't grow if I can.

chatticusfinch

It's the time of year for introspection and taking stock, and I'm so utterly disappointed in how things have turned out so far for me. I once had potential and promise, and now I'm struggling to find a happy day. It's that insidious jealous depression, that one that makes you pathetically loathe anyone doing well for themselves, and I hate myself for it. I just want to have a little luck, a little something to go right for me. Right now, it just feels like I'm falling down a gorge, and hitting every rock on the way down.

I've stopped telling myself next year will be better. Hope doesn't come that easy to me anymore.

Gremlinertia

The things we think during this time of year in particular can really grind us into the ground.. I don't know your circumstances Chatticus but if you can take time out, watch silly things on telly, eat whatever for dinner and distract yourself a bit it might help.. I choose to work it, not always easy but it's proven the best way through for me.. I hope you can get through the next few days ok..