Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Dragons

chatticusfinch wrote: »

It's the time of year for introspection and taking stock, and I'm so utterly disappointed in how things have turned out so far for me. I once had potential and promise, and now I'm struggling to find a happy day. It's that insidious jealous depression, that one that makes you pathetically loathe anyone doing well for themselves, and I hate myself for it. I just want to have a little luck, a little something to go right for me. Right now, it just feels like I'm falling down a gorge, and hitting every rock on the way down.

I've stopped telling myself next year will be better. Hope doesn't come that easy to me anymore.

I feel the same.ive hit rock bottom at the minute.
But i have to believe things will get better.
Ehen your at the bottom of this big dark hole,the only way is up.it will just take time

AnneFrank

Dragons wrote: »

I feel the same.ive hit rock bottom at the minute.
But i have to believe things will get better.
Ehen your at the bottom of this big dark hole,the only way is up.it will just take time

Me too, year 12 in solitide

bobsman

Today is the toughest day when you suffer with depression folks, remember, it is only one day (as another kind poster pointed out to me on another thread).

hairyslug

Am in a horrible spiral at the moment and what's making it worse is that I can see it happening but I feel powerless to stop it.
I have the happy face for the kids but that's about it, I can see myself from the outside that I'm in a shirt humour, grumpy and have distanced myself from everyone, not physically but socially.

My dads 2nd anniversary was a few weeks back but strange enough, it's my mother's death that is affecting me this year, she's gone 2 1/2 years. It hit me like a brick about 2 weeks ago, started with a dream and I haven't been able to shake the feeling.

There are times today where I can smile and be polite but I know I'm being quite rude at others, not verbally but just not interacting, again it annoys me that I see myself do it but am powerless to help.

Anyway, happy Christmas all, we take it 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day at a time.

Tell me how

hairyslug wrote:

There are times today where I can smile and be polite but I know I'm being quite rude at others, not verbally but just not interacting, again it annoys me that I see myself do it but am powerless to help.

Hi hairyslug. Hope you have someone who knows what you're dealing with and can give you a hug to help you get through it.

Gremlinertia

Hugs to all here, not an easy day.

Dragons

A long hard day but....
Its nearly over now☺☺☺
And each day that passes the sun stays up that little big longer.

bobsman

Don't know if this appeals to any of ye but I find Netflix helps a little. Switches the old brain off for an hour or two getting stuck into a series.

This day has been hell but getting through it for the kids sake and looking forward to going to bed with my iPad and switching off :rolleyes:

wonderfullife

Hey guys just wanted to wish everyone a happy New Year. Obviously I know how tough it can be battling anxiety and depression, and I'm sure a lot of us have physical health issues traceable to anxiety and depression or external issues with debt, unemployment, loneliness contributing to them. It's not easy going.

I don't consider myself to have any real friends but strangely I found comfort in considering a lot of posters on this site as friends. We may never meet or know each others names, but it's always been reassuring to know someone has taken the time to read how I am feeling.

I've decided to try focus on rebuilding my life from scratch, going to try start with small building blocks and tiny steps. The amount of time I spend on here and on twitter is probably time I can do better with, so they're the first to go.

Just remember, if things ever get too much and dark thoughts are being considered... there's always someone who cares - even if it's a random stranger on this site

trixiebust

Please keep an extra eye on the loved ones, you may feel struggle through this time of year. I'm currently awaiting an ambulance for such a person, who has slipped so dramatically in 72 hours, it has become scary, & I was left with no other option.

RubyGlee

Christmas has hit me hard. The few weeks before went through one of my “phases” drank too much , spent all my money on useless and unneeded things and did some other things I’m ashamed off. The “spell” broke Stephens day and I can feel myself sinking to the dark place. Signed up for as much overtime as I could. Plan is to focus on work and not leave the house try and sell some of the tat to get by.
I have promised myself if it get bads I’ll
Go to the doctor but the thoughts of that makes me nauseous

RabbleRouser2k

trixiebust wrote: »

Please keep an extra eye on the loved ones, you may feel struggle through this time of year. I'm currently awaiting an ambulance for such a person, who has slipped so dramatically in 72 hours, it has become scary, & I was left with no other option.

My sympathies. Yeah, it's important to keep an eye out for everything from bins to animals.

Thunder and lightning was here last night, made it really hard to sleep, and had to go outside when the wind and rain was there because it tipped over the bins.
Spent the day sleeping till the evening because I couldn't sleep with the thunder and hail stones that was there until this morning.
We're keeping an eye out for relatives here too, some of them have lost power, while we've been lucky to only be without it for half an hour.

veganrun

Anxiety has flared up today. Usually it’s health anxiety and I think that’s mostly what it is but a bit of a bad nights sleep hasn’t helped. I’ve been doing reasonably well since going back on the medication, I just hate feeling this way as I feel drained. I feel like doing anything big would overwhelm me.

Wish I could go back to how I used to be.

chatticusfinch

this inter christmas limbo is the worst. People are annoying me left right and center.

trixiebust

So the loved one I posted about last night, has got a100km taxi ride home, paid for by the HSE. Nobody from the hospital she was in thought to even ring, & let me know she had discharged herself. Just landed home out of the blue, when she's very clearly unwell. I'm at a complete loss....

Gremlinertia

trixiebust wrote: »

So the loved one I posted about last night, has got a100km taxi ride home, paid for by the HSE. Nobody from the hospital she was in thought to even ring, & let me know she had discharged herself. Just landed home out of the blue, when she's very clearly unwell. I'm at a complete loss....

Don't lose faith, you are doing what you can and that person is lucky to have you in their corner.. You need to mind yourself now so you can keep on.. I hope you have supports for you.

trixiebust

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Don't lose faith, you are doing what you can and that person is lucky to have you in their corner.. You need to mind yourself now so you can keep on.. I hope you have supports for you.

Thanks, it means a lot. She would do exactly the same for me without hesitation, so we're lucky to have each other. No other real support, & each time we have interacted with services, it seems to get worse every time.

An emergency doctor who called yesterday, described symptoms as "a developing psychosis" & would require hospitalisation. But, still able to check out of hospital no problems, no contact made with family. It's baffling.

Tell me how

trixiebust wrote:

An emergency doctor who called yesterday, described symptoms as "a developing psychosis" & would require hospitalisation. But, still able to check out of hospital no problems, no contact made with family. It's baffling.

Do you have an idea of what the next steps are? Best case scenario?

trixiebust

Tell me how wrote: »

Do you have an idea of what the next steps are? Best case scenario?

No idea tbh. Even when the ambulance arrived yesterday, she was convinced there were press photographer's outside waiting. She's very ill, & I'm appalled she was left leave, without the hospital even contacting me. I tried ringing the hospital before she discharged herself but could never get through, phone just kept ringing out.

Tell me how

trixiebust wrote:

No idea tbh. Even when the ambulance arrived yesterday, she was convinced there were press photographer's outside waiting. She's very ill, & I'm appalled she was left leave, without the hospital even contacting me. I tried ringing the hospital before she discharged herself but could never get through, phone just kept ringing out.

Are you a friend or family member?
Maybe they couldn't communicate directly with you for such a reason.

Have they a primary point of contact such as a gp to try to recommend more appropriate care?

trixiebust

Tell me how wrote: »

Are you a friend or family member?
Maybe they couldn't communicate directly with you for such a reason.

Have they a primary point of contact such as a gp to try to recommend more appropriate care?

I'm her next of kin. She visited her own GP yesterday, who prescribed sleeping tablets. When they didn't work, I had to ring an emergency doctor to the house, who said she needed hospitalisation. After a 5 hour wait for an ambulance, she went to hospital.

Not once did I hear from the hospital about her today, & she landed home having had a taxi arranged by the hospital.

7 Seconds...

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy & successful 2018. Happy New Year to you all and Thank You for putting up with me in 2017.:)

RabbleRouser2k

So did anyone stay up until the early hours of the morning, like 9am, and then go to bed late? Just me then? And no, there were no parties. I was indoors due to the weather.

Well, I managed to pretty much tick off everyone, I imagine. I was meant to help my brother outside today, and couldn't drag myself out of bed. Instead, I slept until the early hours, as in the AM's.
I'm depressing myself even more thinking about it, tbh. I know they are angry, or worried, or both-probably both.

I can't keep doing this, tbh. It feels like the more time passes, the weaker and more useless I become.
I stress my mom out, I think-it's like, how useless I feel cannot be put into words.i dont get up, i stay in bed some days and the world carries on without me. People literally close the door and carry on. And its unfair on them. I'm more of a burden now than i was as a child.

I don't know about everyone else, but ever since losing my dad over ten years ago, time feels more more swift. Like...grains of sand, gone forever, before you know it. Chances disappear, people fade away.
Its weird, seeing people talking about being stuck in bed with the flu on new years is my only consolation. I'm not mocking their misfortune, just have this weird feeling of solidarity, of not being the only one who cant get out of bed.

Gremlinertia

Massive spiral down in the last few hours, i can feel my face all folded down and my head seems too heavy to hold up.. Anxiety started in just there too so i'm fidgety and finding it hard to try help myself in any way. F**K YOU depression

Tell me how

Sorry to hear that. Are you at work Gremlinertia?

Can you talk to someone just to occupy your mind?

Any idea what brought it on?

Gremlinertia

It'll be ok, just wildly uncomfortable in my own head and skin right now. There isn't anyone here but changed to peaceful playlist, trying to concentrate on breathing. No idea what brought it on

Tell me how

Gremlinertia wrote:

It'll be ok, just wildly uncomfortable in my own head and skin right now. There isn't anyone here but changed to peaceful playlist, trying to concentrate on breathing. No idea what brought it on

In those moments I sometimes listen to podcasts from people talking about depression. Found it supportive to hear someone talk about what I was experiencing.

BBC player has very well produced content

Gremlinertia

Concentration a problem for words, may try later thank you

Dragons

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Concentration a problem for words, may try later thank you

you seem to be a great person for perking other people up on here.wish i could do the same.
old family guy episodes sometimes help to get my focus out of my head for a while.hope you wake up feeling better tomorrow

Tell me how

How're things tonight Gremlinertia?