Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Gremlinertia

Tell me how wrote: »

Hardwired from your youth?
Every Sunday evening about 6 I do a mental check to make sure I've my homework done.
Left school 19 years ago

I am pondering that, even though it's arisen lately i wonder did a few recent stressors shake it loose.

mickstupp

Hello Minstrels, my old friends,
I've come to talk with you again...

Gremlinertia

mickstupp wrote: »

Hello Minstrels, my old friends,
I've come to talk with you again...

A monday night shout out as it were?. Count me in..

bridgettedon

My head is going round and round in circles. I'm worrying about something small but making it out to be something important. I miss having counselling. I also just remembered I have a psych apt tomorrow. However I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall with them. I may make a gp appointment to help me somewhat. Seriously though it's like I'm a child. I need constant reassurance. I hate any small bit of criticism. I took up a new hobby. I'm swing between thinking the people critising me are not good at what they do to I'm absolutely terrible. Maybe I'm making a fool of myself. Earlier I was going through crap that happened 10 to 15 years ago during PE in school. I now know why I stopped playing sport years ago.

Euphoria Intensifies

Had a bad weekend, but managed to get up and about today. I've a busy week ahead of me and I just feel so tired and bored of it all tbh.

StripedBoxers

Going through a pretty rough time of it lately and don't know how I am going to get out of it at all. It is horrific.

No fun having someone use your mental health against you and see how happy it makes them to see how miserable you are as a result of their behaviour that they won't make any effort to change.....

Gremlinertia

That says an awful amount about their character. And your strength come to think of it.. Are they someone integral in your life?.

norwegianwood

I'm starting group CBT for social anxiety on Thursday, really hoping it'll help me but I'm so nervous. This has held me back my entire life and I'm so sick of it, I really feel like if I could get rid of this fear I have of social situations my depression and everything else I struggle with would improve..thinking of joining the Toastmasters as well if I make headway with the CBT, although the prospect is terrifying me at the moment. I've waited for years for this to get better on its own and it hasn't so I suppose I'll have to make a real effort.

Gremlinertia

Hey Norwegian, i started a group thing a year ago and anxiety plays a large part in my life.. I won't lie, i felt like being sick the first few sessions due to my nerves but i can now say that it was the best thing I ever ever did. Best of luck to you, the thread is always here for you to decompress when you need..

StripedBoxers

Gremlinertia wrote: »

That says an awful amount about their character. And your strength come to think of it.. Are they someone integral in your life?.

They are unfortunately.

I'm so alone in all this. I literally have no one bar my GP, occupational therapist, and friends.

I've no one close by I can go and stay with, I've no support network around me bar the people I mentioned above.

I feel trapped and alone and I just can't stop crying.

La.de.da

StripedBoxers wrote: »

They are unfortunately.

I'm so alone in all this. I literally have no one bar my GP, occupational therapist, and friends.

I've no one close by I can go and stay with, I've no support network around me bar the people I mentioned above.

I feel trapped and alone and I just can't stop crying.

Stripey, do you mind me asking are you in any kind of therapy.

You have people here your not alone. From the bottom of my heart I can tell you that.

Can I suggest something that works for me when I feel frenzied or overwhelmed.


Get a pen and paper, write down what your feeling, the thoughts on your mind. Even if it's babble and doesn't make sense. I find just writing it and getting it out of my head helps.

StripedBoxers

La.de.da wrote: »

Stripey, do you mind me asking are you in any kind of therapy.

Ask away I attend occupational therapy, seeing my therapist tomorrow, also starting a WRAP group tomorrow and some other groups (for social anxiety) in the next few weeks too.

As for counselling/therapy for my depression, then no, I am currently waiting for an appointment at the end of the month to find out whether I will be put forward for it. So far I have had three appointments over the last 1.5yrs for it and each time I've left with a prescription as the doctor who has to put me forward believes high dosage of medication is the answer instead of counselling.

My own GP and OT have both referred me for counselling/therapy for my depression, so I need this other doctor to "authorize" (can't think of another word for it right now) otherwise I won't get it and I don't know what the next step would be.

My OT reckons I need the the therapy as does my GP and both have communicated with the other doctor so I hope this time he will take on board their referrals, and put me forward for it rather than giving me a high dosage of medication that will do nothing bar make me drowsy which isn't what I want.

La.de.da wrote: »

You have people here your not alone. From the bottom of my heart I can tell you that.

Thank you for this. Its very kind of you.

I don't have any family, my dad lives in a different country, and he and I don't have much of a relationship. I have no relationship with the rest of my family and I never will have.

La.de.da wrote: »

Get a pen and paper, write down what your feeling, the thoughts on your mind. Even if it's babble and doesn't make sense. I find just writing it and getting it out of my head helps.

I do this, every day, I write in a journal, it helps, not much but its something I guess.

What I need is a lottery win so I can feck off and make a clean fresh start. Not gonna happen though!!

La.de.da

Hope ya get sorted with some therapy soon boxers. It really does help x

I need to win the lottery too.

I also need to stop eating. Binging a lot lately.

mansize

My sleep pattern is shot, 7am getting to sleep 5pm waking.

If thats not basic avoidance I don't know what is.

StripedBoxers

La.de.da wrote: »

Hope ya get sorted with some therapy soon boxers. It really does help x

I need to win the lottery too.

I also need to stop eating. Binging a lot lately.

Thank you, yeah it does. I've had it before but due to HSE cutbacks my therapist went from community care to primary so now there is only one community care (well publicly anyway) therapist available. Going private I can't afford, not at €180 per session.

Know what you mean about the binging, I've started it myself lately which for me is highly unusual as when I get stressed/upset/annoyed etc I lose my appetite, lately its been the opposite.....

mansize wrote: »

My sleep pattern is shot, 7am getting to sleep 5pm waking.

If thats not basic avoidance I don't know what is.

Hope things improve for you soon, I know all too well the basic avoidance. Horrible phase to go through.

I'm just off to WRAP now. First day and I'm shítting it. Its a bigger group than I am used to, and I don't cope well in large groups normally....:o

StripedBoxers

That was a long day.

Hope everyone is feeling okay tonight x

Euphoria Intensifies

I went to a yoga class tonight, my first ever. It was so relaxing. Kind of hard work too, seeing as I'm very unfit I enjoyed it a lot though. There's a lot of focus on breathing and being mindful. Have any of you lot tried it?

StripedBoxers

I wish some people would stop playing on my anxiety and using it to wind me up.

I am sick of it.

I can't stop shaking right now and know I will probably have one or two panic attacks tonight cos of it. I feel sick.

Redser87

StripedBoxers wrote: »

I wish some people would stop playing on my anxiety and using it to wind me up.

I am sick of it.

I can't stop shaking right now and know I will probably have one or two panic attacks tonight cos of it. I feel sick.

That's awful. I hope you also have good friends who don't do that. Is there anybody you can call?

Gremlinertia

Euphoria, I'd love to have a go at yoga but haven't done so yet. I'm very bad in group situations or at least that's how I feel.. Hoping to get to it eventually though, haven't given up!.

Boxers, i know you said whoever this is would be a part of your life, is there any way you could point out a few words you feel off about in the hope of guiding them away from hurting you?

mansize

Was due to go London today - decided not to- can't face the travelling and the crazy noise of London City atm

StripedBoxers

Redser87 wrote: »

That's awful. I hope you also have good friends who don't do that. Is there anybody you can call?

I was talking to my friends, I'd be lost without them. I have no other family, no, just my friends.

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Boxers, i know you said whoever this is would be a part of your life, is there any way you could point out a few words you feel off about in the hope of guiding them away from hurting you?

I have done this, my OT has offered to speak with them as well to try and explain it and the person is point blank refusing to engage at all.

Another incident there now and they tried to turn it back on me, when they could as I pointed out everything they had done and that I hadn't done anything to warrant or deserve it, they are now ignoring me because they can't get their own way.

mansize wrote: »

Was due to go London today - decided not to- can't face the travelling and the crazy noise of London City atm

Hope you are okay Mansize, hope you had a good day whatever you did

Gremlinertia

Boxers you seem to have done all you can with this person, may just have to accept that it's and old dog that can't learn new tricks situation and work with your healthcare people on not taking everything they say on board. Well done though, you tackled far better than i would have ever done..

StripedBoxers

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Boxers you seem to have done all you can with this person, may just have to accept that it's and old dog that can't learn new tricks situation and work with your healthcare people on not taking everything they say on board. Well done though, you tackled far better than i would have ever done..

I have Grem, I just find it so hard that every day I am put down in some way, have my illnesses played on and used against me. I walk on eggshells constantly.

I'm so tired of it all. So so tired.

I remain calm because I don't have the energy to flip out.

Gremlinertia

I feel for you. Illness of any type can be draining enough without added aggravation, glad you found the thread for offloading at least. Always an ear here..

StripedBoxers

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I feel for you. Illness of any type can be draining enough without added aggravation, glad you found the thread for offloading at least. Always an ear here..

Thanks Grem.

What makes it worse is, the person who is playing on and using my illnesses against me, themselves has both illnesses, but yet still doesn't care and just plays on mine all the time.

Gremlinertia

Some people tend to lash out Boxers, it's the unfortunate fact that usually it's those closest who get hurt.. Dealing with something similar here myself at the moment and it's very hard when someone says something harsh. All i'm doing is ploughing on, weathering the storm as it were..

apone

Hi Guys
I read this thread regularly and now realise i too have depression,
For years and years now I have avoided social contact, avoid meeting friends or anyone really that i have to converse with.
I avoid anything that will bring me in contact with people.
I don't have confidence, ive turned down numerous friends and relationships because i just feel i'm not good company.
I work because i need the money and if i didnt need this i probably wouldnt leave the house.

i think i should talk to my doctor but am so afraid to bring this up, maybe i can go to a different doctor?
i feel for me anti-depressants is the only way, there is no way i could even talk with a therapist or try cbt.

so medication would be the only option, if the doctor suggests anything else i will probably tell him/her yes no problem, but i know i will leave the surgery and never follow through and be in a worse situation than before.
My anxiety /depression is so bad i cannot face anything other than medication at this point.

Thanks for listening.

bridgettedon

apone wrote: »

Hi Guys
I read this thread regularly and now realise i too have depression,
For years and years now I have avoided social contact, avoid meeting friends or anyone really that i have to converse with.
I avoid anything that will bring me in contact with people.
I don't have confidence, ive turned down numerous friends and relationships because i just feel i'm not good company.
I work because i need the money and if i didnt need this i probably wouldnt leave the house.

i think i should talk to my doctor but am so afraid to bring this up, maybe i can go to a different doctor?
i feel for me anti-depressants is the only way, there is no way i could even talk with a therapist or try cbt.

so medication would be the only option, if the doctor suggests anything else i will probably tell him/her yes no problem, but i know i will leave the surgery and never follow through and be in a worse situation than before.
My anxiety /depression is so bad i cannot face anything other than medication at this point.

Thanks for listening.

Just take the first step for now. I would encourage you go to your regular doctor as you will have built a relationship with them but if you feel you can't, then go to another doctor. See what the doctor says. Best of luck. Don't worry about counselling for now. Be honest with the doctor about how you feel about counselling, it may help them see how this affects your life.

apone

bridgettedon wrote: »

Just take the first step for now. I would encourage you go to your regular doctor as you will have built a relationship with them but if you feel you can't, then go to another doctor. See what the doctor says. Best of luck. Don't worry about counselling for now. Be honest with the doctor about how you feel about counselling, it may help them see how this affects your life.

Thanks, I'll try and do as you say, it's been too many years like this at this point.
I've tried lifestyle changes and such but it doesnt work, if i could just be lifted out of the dark hole for a while and try and build a few relationships.