Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Crystalberet

Hi, no not at the moment have applied again for it as it's been about two years since I've spoken to someone didn't find it a huge help to be honest

Gremlinertia

Well think about the medication anyway, you can always go back to your gp if you are having issues.. Counselling is difficult and not for everyone, also needs time to find the right counsellor for you. Maybe you can address that in time..

Crystalberet

Thank you, just need to take that first step and find the strength to take the first pill without thinking I'm going to die of anaphylaxis! Got them yesterday and still can't do it, I'm working in restaurant and worrying is my tongue gonna swell or will I get diarrhoea or vomit over everyone or take a panic attack and have to run out! Very hard

Gremlinertia

You can do it, it'll be ok

trixiebust

Hi all, haven't posted in a while but need somewhere to vent. My gorgeous, loving wife has had to be hospitalised again on Monday. She's developed a psychosis - a nasty horrible illnesses that's relentless when it takes hold, it's downright scary infact. It was heartbreaking leaving her there, she was so scared & doesn't want to be there.
My birthday was yesterday, spent alone, worrying about what will become of us.

No one else to say all this to, but I need to let it out somewhere, & this thread is a little release for me.

kg703

trixiebust wrote: »

Hi all, haven't posted in a while but need somewhere to vent. My gorgeous, loving wife has had to be hospitalised again on Monday. She's developed a psychosis - a nasty horrible illnesses that's relentless when it takes hold, it's downright scary infact. It was heartbreaking leaving her there, she was so scared & doesn't want to be there.
My birthday was yesterday, spent alone, worrying about what will become of us.

No one else to say all this to, but I need to let it out somewhere, & this thread is a little release for me.

Its very sad to read this. Look to the future and plan how you will spend your birthday together next year. Hopefully with the help of medication and/or therapy she can come through the other side. I know it's been said before but she's very lucky to have someone so supportive and loving by her side through this horrible time for her.

I just hope that there is someone that's there for you as well, I'm sure it's tough on your own mental health.

trixiebust

kg703 wrote: »

Its very sad to read this. Look to the future and plan how you will spend your birthday together next year. Hopefully with the help of medication and/or therapy she can come through the other side. I know it's been said before but she's very lucky to have someone so supportive and loving by her side through this horrible time for her.

I just hope that there is someone that's there for you as well, I'm sure it's tough on your own mental health.

Thanks for the kind words, it's really appreciated. Now I'm in an unenviable position, because she's a voluntary admission, & is convinced she's well enough to come home tomorrow.

I'm unable to look after her at home myself, I have to seriously consider committing her. I need to consider my own mental health too, these past few weeks have been extremely stressfull for us all.

stargazing123

Crystalberet wrote: »

Hi I have anxiety/panic disorder, It stemmed originally from IBS but has evolved over the last 12 years. I worry about everything , over analyse things all the time and I am constantly in panic mode the last few weeks, can't sleep, always jumping up like I've stopped breathing. Just back from a holiday last weekend and to the doctor yesterday, I am like a basket case when I'm away, afraid to go too far from apartment etc, I thought I was going to die from heart attack so many times due to abnormal ecg which is being looked at , I had insomnia, pacing floors , my family think I'm a nut job, I am 37 , have a husband and 7 year old son who's noticing my behaviour lately so I have decided to go on meds. Was given Sertaline, but I am too frightened to take them in case I have an allergic reaction and die! It's a vicious circle, got them yesterday and spent the day googling side affects etc making myself mad, I can't go on like this anymore as it's causing a strain on my relationship so I need to deal with it, I am Hoping to get the courage in the next few days to take this pill as I have to go back in 5 weeks, I read they are meant to make you feel nauseous and your anxiety worsens as your body gets use to it, worried it will affect my work, don't know what to do 😭

Hi. Sorry to hear about your issues with anxiety. It can be quite overwhelming at times. I have had anxiety three years. I originally was prescribed Sertraline for depression and I can honestly say they have helped immensely. A big tip I can give you is to not diagnose yourself or look up side effects on the Internet because it can cause you to be overcome with worry which really isn't good for your mental health in general. You need to relax (try meditation maybe?) and honestly Sertraline are really good tablets. Don't worry about the side effects you looked up. When I first started taking them I had trouble sleeping and I had fatigue for several days but it eventually all went away. That's just your body getting used to the tablets. They have really helped me with my anxiety and depression and my confidence has improved. Anyway don't worry you will be alright. Hope this helps x

kg703

trixiebust wrote: »

Thanks for the kind words, it's really appreciated. Now I'm in an unenviable position, because she's a voluntary admission, & is convinced she's well enough to come home tomorrow.

I'm unable to look after her at home myself, I have to seriously consider committing her. I need to consider my own mental health too, these past few weeks have been extremely stressfull for us all.

I can only imagine how hard that must be, you are doing it for her, but if she is suffering from psychosis, her delusions may only see you turning against her. What a situation to be in

You do need to look after your own mental health though because if you are both suffering, you will be unable to help each other. Do what you need to do and dont let the pressure and guilt overcome you. This is because you love each other!

I'm rooting for you both

pool27m

Hi everyone, think this forum is a great idea and will help many people.
My problem is my relationship ,for the first couple of years my girl friend had a very high sex drive, then she changed her birth control and there was a change in her and her libido was non existent.She also became more angry and it was as if i was walking on egg shell at times. But i loved her and proposed, she said yeah and we were both delighted.
now after booking a wedding after she had a very stressful two weeks with work and exams, she broke down and said she was having doubts about our relationship.She moved back in with her parents for a bit of space,I met up with her a week after this and she said she is having mental health problems and is unsure about us,she thinks we have lost our connection and shes holding me back.She said it might take her a couple of weeks to get better and i told her to take her time and then we can figure if there is still a us after.
Id love to be there to help her, at the minute we arent even texting, I have read that i should not text first and that i should wait for her? Im effectively in limbo and all i care about is getting her back happy even if it means we arent together
Just want to know if its normal for people with depression to push loved ones away and how long do i wait to text her?

Tell me how

pool27m wrote:

Just want to know if its normal for people with depression to push loved ones away and how long do i wait to text her?

Hi pool27m.

Unfortunately, it is a trait but usually through avoiding contact, and creating a distance between them and people they were previously close to rather than them saying they need time apart.

Has your gf been diagnosed and is now receiving treatment for depression? Mental health issues are wide ranging and depression is only one diagnosis possible within it.

I don't think anyone can say when to text her. For now, she has asked for space and I think you need to respect that. Hard and all as that might be.

If she is dealing with mental health difficulties, it depends on so many elements and there is no definite time frame for a cure.

Maybe, text her sibling or parent and let them know you are ready to talk to her, whenever she is ready. They can pass on the message and she'll contact you. If she wishes to.

trixiebust

kg703 wrote: »

I can only imagine how hard that must be, you are doing it for her, but if she is suffering from psychosis, her delusions may only see you turning against her. What a situation to be in

You do need to look after your own mental health though because if you are both suffering, you will be unable to help each other. Do what you need to do and dont let the pressure and guilt overcome you. This is because you love each other!

I'm rooting for you both

Thanks. Have a ( small ) bit of positive news for once. Visited her yesterday, & seemed much calmer in herself. Convinced her to stay put for the time being & she was agreeable. I was dreading going in to visit, but thankfully it all worked out ok.

Gremlinertia

Trixie hope all is going ok there.

How are the rest of you?

I've been weighed down with anxiety again of late, but at least it's kinda consistent.. Lately i'm getting intrusive thoughts of a depressed nature, i get violent ones at times and can muddle through that but these intense flairs of despair are new and scary.

Drumpot

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Trixie hope all is going ok there.

How are the rest of you?

I've been weighed down with anxiety again of late, but at least it's kinda consistent.. Lately i'm getting intrusive thoughts of a depressed nature, i get violent ones at times and can muddle through that but these intense flairs of despair are new and scary.

Sometimes I feel like I have it sorted and other times I feel right back at the start... I had a couple of weeks (where I was sick with the flu) where I actually felt little to no anxiety. I think it might of been because I was able to not have to deal with anybody in the outside world. There is a difference between unhealthy isolation and content solitude!

Do you ever get headaches, nausea, eyesight blurry and draining fatigue ? Not sure if its a migraine but I seem to get a lot of those symptoms. I am not sure if its a case of getting anxious, not sleeping/resting and then get the headaches or if its feeling unwell, not resting and then anxiety (or both).

Think I will start keeping a diary of foods eaten, stressful events, anxiety, sleep and exercise. I should of done this years ago, but I don't know what the triggers are and forget very quickly what was going on when just before anxiety kicks in.

Some days I get relief and it feels like (I imagine) what life is life for normal people who don't suffer this affliction.

kg703

I know for sure what I eat has a bad effect on my mental health. I put on a good bit of weight since my wedding last year and any evening where I've been eating lots of sugary food or bread, I wake up feeling awful the next day - like I have a hangover and it sticks with me all day, leaving me lethargic and feeling miserable.

But the sugar addiction is real - I eat well nearly every day until it comes to about 8pm and binge on sugary crap.

Then spend the next day feeling miserable.

Vicious cycle.

I know when I eat better and exercise more it significantly increases my mood but for some reason Im avoiding it all.

oreoexpress

I agree with the above poster, food can have such a powerful impact on my mental health too (Apologies for the intrusion, I am a new boards user and I am a Social Anxiety sufferer). I find that when I have been in a routine of consistently eating good, home cooked meals full of vitamins and minerals, I feel so much more positive. I guess this is reaping the benefits of the energy that these nutrients provide. But, like the above poster said, why is it so hard to stick to this, all the while knowing how bad sugary, fatty foods can make us feel? It is such a psychological thing, and I feel that so many of us possess this need to get our satisfaction from foods. Maybe it is linked to feeling anxious and depressed, and the only way to feel better is by having a safe place to go to in food to provide a bit of instant relief from the difficulties life can throw at us!? I would really love to know more above this! I guess it's such a complex matter, otherwise there wouldn't be such an obesity crisis in the country. It's quite an interesting topic!

SnitchenBubs

Anxiety has been a big problem in my life the last few years, I think it probably all started in my late teens over stomach issues I was having at the time and it just snowballed from there. I've picked up countless things in the years since, too many to go into, to worry about and here I am now.

I've lost count how many times ive gone doctor over various things, all in a never ending search for reassurance, works for a bit but never lasts. Its gotten very bad the last couple of years, some seriously low points. I actually went to the doctor again today over something, I don't have the skills to adequately describe the sense of fear and dread I had all last night anticipating the visit, never slept a wink, it really is something else how powerful anxiety can be, I believed as sure as night follows day that I was sick with something serious/terminal, again I was told its all in my head but I have lasting physical symptoms from all the stress and anxiety.

I spent hours yesterday googling stuff, again today but not as much. I've never been diagnosed with anything, I find the public mental health system to be very bad and of no real use other than to prescribe medication, my last visit was about 6 months but ive gone doctor numerous times in between. I've an appointment coming up soon, as I said they've never diagnosed me with anything, I researched anxiety and came across GAD, I literally tick off every box when it comes to it say the last couple of years it's scary, but im no doctor.

Anyway sorry for the rant just needed to get it off my chest, I'm lucky I have a good support network at home, its suffice to say id probably of been dead long ago if not for them, they helped me far more than the services ever did.

trixiebust

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Trixie hope all is going ok there.

How are the rest of you?

I've been weighed down with anxiety again of late, but at least it's kinda consistent.. Lately i'm getting intrusive thoughts of a depressed nature, i get violent ones at times and can muddle through that but these intense flairs of despair are new and scary.

Hi Grem,

She's still in hospital, & will be for another few weeks. One day I visit, I think there's progress, other days I'm not so sure. I can relate to those kind of thoughts too - have been getting them a bit myself lately, its the unknown with her illness that makes me anxious.

Gremlinertia

Demon of a downer still, exhausted because I'm semi awake with realistic dreams and struggling to shake them when properly awake. All I can say is ARGH..

Hope that all of you guys are doing better than that..

Foweva Awone

Back in hospital for a quick meds review, should be a short stay this time thankfully, hopefully just about a week or so.

The staff here haven't seen me since November, they're blown away with my progress since then! (They've known me the last few years, some of them know me better than I know myself at this stage.) I know I've been doing well, but it's nice to get affirmation from people who haven't seen me in a while.

koumi

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Demon of a downer still, exhausted because I'm semi awake with realistic dreams and struggling to shake them when properly awake. All I can say is ARGH..

Hope that all of you guys are doing better than that..

Hope you feel better soon.

feel like I've shaken off a couple of demons myself, had follow up with doc last week and attended second counselling session today. Being able to go outside, or at least wanting to go outside is a good feeling and feel like I'm in a relatively safe space when I'm there.

Like many others here I'm working on dietary needs a lot over last couple of weeks and with the evenings gaining a bit of a stretch in them, seem to have a lot more motivation to get some exercise in. Have been off meds 6 weeks now so finally just about cleared system and have been using a variety of vitamins and supplements to aid me in getting back to full cognition. I highly recommend good quality EPA which practically ameliorated brain fog in space of two weeks and kinda looking forward to having lent as an excuse to ditch meats and sweets for a couple of weeks. The food calender is prepared .

Other than that am doing relatively ok.

trixiebust

Found a really good video that explains psychosis. Helped me understand the illness a bit more anyway...


https://m.youtube.com/watch?t=1294s&v=KcZ_F1eua-I

koumi

Had a bit of breakthrough in terms of phobias today. I have had a fear of (large) dogs which had been getting steadily worse and coupled with agoraphobia these last few months I hadn't been able to take my own dog for proper walk and been limited to quick treks to the green at the end of the road and short trips by car to relatives. I know it sounds counter intuitive given fear of dogs that I have one myself but it's something that only became an issue after she came to live with us. She's a small dog and while she doesn't need the extensive walking of a larger breed, I felt bad that she was missing out on regular strolls.

I decided to take a walk to meet family member earlier and bring dog along and didn't experience the kind of fear that I would have in the past, it was a total breeze. We stopped for coffee and met other doggos along the way and managed perfectly fine. The whole experience was incredibly enjoyable, really a breath of fresh air.

I don't know what changed that made it possible to do that, I hadn't been working on phobias or anything in particular that would have reduced the fear in that situation but I'm feeling less fearful in general. I wouldn't call it a surge of confidence, more like a release of some burdens which has brought about a sense of ease and I'm sitting here at 3am trying to figure out what I did that made that happen. Might be the book I'm reading at the minute or maybe counselling has brought about a quiet refocus of energy, but there's a feeling of closure with regard to some issues that had most likely been the source of much of my anxiety and it's brought with it a sense of relief. (like knowing your abuser had finally been caught and you no longer have to look over your shoulder everytime you leave your house)

La.de.da

Rough few weeks. Very withdrawn from all aspects of life.

Tell me how

La.de.da wrote:

Rough few weeks. Very withdrawn from all aspects of life.

That's sad to hear. Can you break out of the rut anyway? Do you have support that knows what you're going through?

La.de.da

La.de.da wrote: »

Rough few weeks. Very withdrawn from all aspects of life.

Sometimes life becomes too much to bare. There is no joy left in it. How you feel right now La isn't great but it's real and where you're at. I used to fight my feelings and tell myself to "get it together". Yes there are times when I need to give myself a good push but mostly now I just let the feelings be. If I'm isolating myself then so be it. That's what I need to do right now.

Allow yourself to just be who you are right now. It's ok. There can be huge freedom in this acceptance. I understand. And I don't mean that as a kind of platitude. I really do understand. The loneliness, emptiness, sadness. You will have your ups and your downs but you are going to be ok La.

xx

worded

Very relaxing soulful track

Best listened to with earphones

https://youtu.be/hYvMR4u-LEM

koumi

hope everyone is doing ok today

koumi

Just wanted to write for a bit. I understand it can be difficult for many people who post here, especially when in the throes of anxiety or depression and one of the reasons why I was reluctant to post here initially was because I didn't want to find myself posting about my misery on a regular basis
I also wanted to be sure that I had all the correct supports in place while dealing with my own issues, which I suspect most people here already do or have (if you don't go and get them, they are available) I'm not saying it's easy but under the circumstances most very necessary in order to process things better.

I also understand that this might be one of few avenues for discussion for people in the same boat so, in saying that, I wanted to keep my posts positive and focused on my progress, where I could discuss or communicate with others who might be able to relate or even find something useful or helpful too. But never as a way of ignoring the pain or suffering others might be experiencing at the same time. If you are one of those my heart goes out to you.

One of the affects of my anxiety is selective mutism. It's a bit of an awkward thing and has affected a lot of different areas in my life. Communication is such a vital tool in getting help so it was a bit of a double whammy, when you can't express that. Writing is great for me because it makes me feel less dumb, literally. I have the freedom to express myself and communicate my thoughts much more clearly than I can in real time and verbally. (although I know one day I'm going to do that) I don't know if others experience this too but I'd love to hear from you if you do.

Also, today I received a posture corrector because I've been so bent over (because burdens) that my internal organs are just squashed and it's been like getting glasses, before you got them you never realised how nice it was to be able to stand up straight. Such a relief on my organs too, I highly recommend getting one if you have been mentally fixed in the fetal position a lot. I can actually breathe properly too.

I have lots to do this week in terms of getting organized and attending appointments and counselling at some stage so at least have some stuff to keep my eyes ahead and setting realistic goals to get to the next stage of getting back on my feet. I hope you are all hanging in there and keeping a light on.

Tell me how

When I was deep in depression and on meds, I used have incredibly detailed and layered dreams which would feel as long as a film. I always thought it was the meds.

Something rocked me a bit yesterday and I woke at 4 last night (this morning) and couldn't sleep again until about half seven. I then had a similar dream. Same as before, very detailed and the characters in it treated me in a way that fuels the negativity from yesterday.
Not on meds at the moment.

This makes me think of two things.

A - The mind is an incredible, incredible thing.
B - Why does it formulate scenarios which makes us feel more vulnerable, what does "it" gain from doing so? Why not a dream which would increase confidence instead of one which strips away of any you do have and tells you it's false. Surely it would be more self-preserving for the mind to behave in that way.

Going for a cycle now before the dark thoughts tell me not to bother.