Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

ds4593

Well the good news is that my therapist is actually taking me seriously now. So my confidence in continuing to talk to him has increased.

The bad part is that although the last session lasted 30 minutes longer than it should have, zero progress was made.
It was just again “laying foundations” that we have yet to walk on and creating a custom “safety contract”.

He also goes another week to struggle through before I hope to see any progress.

Tell me how

ds4593 wrote:

The bad part is that although the last session lasted 30 minutes longer than it should have, zero progress was made. It was just again “laying foundations†that we have yet to walk on and creating a custom “safety contractâ€.

Glad you're feeling positive about it.

Therapy can take a lonnngggg time.
You're working when you are not in the room as well.
Be thinking about the conversation and your thought processes during them.
In my view, all the answers come from within the patient, the therapist is largely to facilitate the patient finding them.

ds4593

Tell me how wrote: »

Glad you're feeling positive about it.

Therapy can take a lonnngggg time.
You're working when you are not in the room as well.
Be thinking about the conversation and your thought processes during them.
In my view, all the answers come from within the patient, the therapist is largely to facilitate the patient finding them.

Thanks but I wouldn’t go so far to say that I am feeling positive about it. It’s just somewhat nice that it feels like a therapist is finally listening to me. Even if it did take quite a few sessions.

I do understand your “within the patient” quote. I used to be able to relate to it.
For a large part of my life I firmly believed that one should be able to find the answers within them (even without external help).
But I’ve now come to question that. No matter now deep I dig, how long I reflect, or how many different view points I see it from, my answers are always wrong and in most cases, they cause awful issues.

So now I’m looking for someone to help challenge my way of thinking and to essentially get me to thing normally.

I understand that therapy takes time. But in this case I believe that my therapist is taking too long.
Too many sessions have gone by to still be talking about plans and foundations. It’s pretty much talking about “good intentions”.
If the next session doesn’t feel like I’m moving forward then I’m going to look for someone else, yet again.

I don’t care if I’m moving one step forward and two steps back. I just need to know something is happening. At this point every week that no progress is made results in me moving further and further away from where I want to be, which I didn’t think was possible and is a dangerous thing.

Anyway enough negativity out of me for one day.

I will be talking to someone this week about new medication so that is a step in the right direction.

ds4593

ds4593 wrote: »

Thanks but I wouldn’t go so far to say that I am feeling positive about it. It’s just somewhat nice that it feels like a therapist is finally listening to me. Even if it did take quite a few sessions.

I do understand your “within the patient” quote. I used to be able to relate to it.
For a large part of my life I firmly believed that one should be able to find the answers within them (even without external help).
But I’ve now come to question that. No matter now deep I dig, how long I reflect, or how many different view points I see it from, my answers are always wrong and in most cases, they cause awful issues.

The thing is though that it really and truly is the case that the answers lie within yourself. Even when you feel that your thinking is unhelpful and you are stuck in unhealthy thought patterns. Nobody can give you the answers or tell you what to do.

I hear your frustration regarding your therapist. Would you be able to discuss your concerns around progress with him/her?

ds4593

Deleted User wrote: »

The thing is though that it really and truly is the case that the answers lie within yourself. Even when you feel that your thinking is unhelpful and you are stuck in unhealthy thought patterns. Nobody can give you the answers or tell you what to do.

I hear your frustration regarding your therapist. Would you be able to discuss your concerns around progress with him/her?

Part of my issue is that I only know unhealthy though patterns. I don’t have memories of positive life experiences that I can fall back on and use as a framing point for normal thinking.

My concerns with progress are primarily down to the information I provide. I don’t want my GP to know my issues. I also don’t want to be admitted. Anything that could jeopardize getting work, a mortgage, life insurance etc.
As a result I have been underplaying my issues with therapists. But that just lead to not getting the help I needed.
I decided to finally tell the truth (for the most part) and I am now viewed as a high risk. So now the therapist won’t continue to help until he contacts my GP which I am not comfortable with doing.
I’m fine with giving family member details but that’s not enough.

Tell me how

ds4593 wrote:

My concerns with progress are primarily down to the information I provide. I don’t want my GP to know my issues. I also don’t want to be admitted. Anything that could jeopardize getting work, a mortgage, life insurance etc. As a result I have been underplaying my issues with therapists. But that just lead to not getting the help I needed. I decided to finally tell the truth (for the most part) and I am now viewed as a high risk. So now the therapist won’t continue to help until he contacts my GP which I am not comfortable with doing. I’m fine with giving family member details but that’s not enough.

If you are being selective in the information you disclose to professionals, it makes it very difficult for them to treat you adequately.

Personally, I think your GP should know everything. They are bound my patient Dr loyalty in terms of only sharing information when you are comfortable with it.

I am sure you have your reasons which you feel make sense not to disclose everything but I think that will inhibit your efforts to get better. Or delay you doing so at the very least.

Marzipan85

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Yep, and yep.
I have about two friends from secondary school, and one or two from courses I've taken. Which, considering the amount of courses I've done, is pretty significantly poor.
It's often sheer fluke that I do make friends. But they don't stick around. They don't contact me on facebook or twitter either. I know people have their own lives to live, but a 'howya doing' would be appreciated.

I don't even think I could say I have two friends. I have family. And I have a small circle of close acquaintances, but to be honest they're not real friends. Tbh I'm sort of making peace with the fact that I don't really need friends. I'm quite introverted and that's just my natural state. So I wouldn't beat yourself up about not having many friends. One thing you could aim for is more social interaction. Join a club, go to a class. You don't necessarily have to make friends to feel less lonely.

Also re medications, yes they're only a piece of the puzzle, but something you could take into account if you wanted to change them, assuming you have a GP who is good at dealing with mental health.

jaxxx

Living each day like a ticking time bomb just waiting to detonate, my brain that is. Would it just go off already or defuse ffs...

ds4593

jaxxx wrote: »

Living each day like a ticking time bomb just waiting to detonate, my brain that is. Would it just go off already or defuse ffs...

I can understand the feeling. Is stuff building up, or do you think you will defuse yourself?

jaxxx

ds4593 wrote: »

I can understand the feeling. Is stuff building up, or do you think you will defuse yourself?

More like a perpetual paradox of something that will never happen and something that is ongoing. If that makes even the slightest hint of sense..

vg88

moloner4 wrote: »

Depression is sneaking up on me after almost two years of being off the medication. Meeting counselor at work tomorrow to try throw the kitchen sink at it to stop it coming back.

Anyone have any experience with letting work now about history of depression and possible being on the verge of it again?

moloner4 wrote: »

I went and they were quite caring but concerned at the same time. They are making see my local GP next week and they wish to be involved and help.

Hopeful I can nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand

Feel like I only post here when my head dips, but I like to share to other guys who are going through the same.

I thought I got through it, came out of a long term relationship very unexpectedly. The counselor/doctor thought my depression was mild-medium and it was temporary (nearly like mourning) and started to get better over the last few weeks until tonight.

I don't know what happened, for the first time in a long time I feel like it's crippling me by going down veins like poison that I haven't had since the dark days. I think a large relapse is sneaking up on me and there's nothing I can do about it. My good mates I'm nursing them from being semi-suicidal into functional people and my good friend group can't deal with any more as it'll tear them all apart. I can't tell my family, they don't talk about mental health.

Doctor said if it deteriorated from what it did (which it has) I'd need to go straight onto anti-depressants but I just can't go back on them, they numbed me too much and I don't know what I was. If I tell work they'll probably freak out as they know my history and how dark it got before.

I'm an optimistic person generally, but I can't see how positive this can go. Do I just accept that it's going to hit me hard again? Going for a long run, usually that gets the endorphins working for a few hours.

Tell me how

^^^^^
Talk to your Dr. Hopefully, it is a reaction to the end of the relationship (which is understandable) but will not be more serious.
Do you have a therapist, could you go to them to discuss the relationship in a controlled environment.

Well done on going for run. You're doing the right thing there.

ds4593

@moloner

Do what you can to keep the edge off. Even if it only helps a small bit.
I actually exercise regularly even when I’m in my worst stages. I do it for a few reasons. To stick on headphones and tune out the world and my own thoughts. To focus on something that distracts me from my situation. And because although exercise doesn’t lift my mood in any way. I know that if I don’t do it my mood will drop even more.
But it’s a bit of a double edged sword for me. I also use exercise as a way of dealing with feeling of guilt and hopelessness by intentionally loosing weight which I can’t afford to be doing.

Anyway I’m going off track here.

Yeah, it could be related to your relationship. As you said it was long term and ended suddenly. That can take quite a while to get over and to come to terms with. One week you might feel okay about it, the next you are dealing with unresolved feelings and thoughts. Medication and/or taking may help from going further down the hole. Even just trying to stay social with people can help.

How much these things may help depend on the person. You did say that you could sit back and accept that it may hit you hard. But you also said that you are generally an optimistic person. So try and push though with any available options in an attempt to stop the worse from happening.

ds4593

I had another session with my therapist. No progress, no more aware, no new skills learned. Nothing. Sick of it at this stage as it feels like he doesn’t know how to help me and is just killing time trying to stumble across something that will work.
I’ve been upfront and honest with everything with him so if he can’t help he should just say so. I told him at the end of it that I wouldn’t be seeing him again.

Gremlinertia

Terrible appointment today. Fobbed off and dismissed. Argh.. Head down to calm down now.

Tell me how

ds4593 wrote:

I had another session with my therapist. No progress, no more aware, no new skills learned. Nothing. Sick of it at this stage as it feels like he doesn’t know how to help me and is just killing time trying to stumble across something that will work. I’ve been upfront and honest with everything with him so if he can’t help he should just say so. I told him at the end of it that I wouldn’t be seeing him again.

Gremlinertia wrote:

Terrible appointment today. Fobbed off and dismissed. Argh.. Head down to calm down now.

That's very frustrating.
Hope the next opportunity is better.

Would it be worth saving a text in your phone about today's appointment which you could refer to in future to explain to someone else or remind you why you felt it didn't work.

It won't help today maybe but might when meeting someone else. Just an idea.

Graces7

need a hug.. Bad spell with the M.E and sleep issues .. drained and dark

7 Seconds...

Sending a hug your way Graces7. Hope you feel better soon.

Graces7

Can I come too... wrote: »

Sending a hug your way Graces7. Hope you feel better soon.

Aw thanks! The cat is curling up with me now so a double hug

jaxxx

You know all these new fangled medical treatments, surgeries and transplant type things that they're coming out with these days... Don't suppose they've figured out the mechanics to a brain transplant have they?? Cos I could do with one :pac:

Graces7

Sending everyone flowers for Easter..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D27PRpC_NCw

Had a good phone call with my help. We agree that the long term stresses of the last year, two moves, the battle with ESB etc have finally caught up with me.

Sometimes we all and each I think have to overstretch ourselves to survive and get to a safe place

But sooner or later that catches up with is;payment exacted. With interest! Stress is a miser and a usurer

So a hard time ahead a while but we will come through.. "Time and the hour run through the roughest day.. "

Graces7

jaxxx wrote: »

You know all these new fangled medical treatments, surgeries and transplant type things that they're coming out with these days... Don't suppose they've figured out the mechanics to a brain transplant have they?? Cos I could do with one :pac:

trouble is you might never know whose brain you were getting until it took you over!

veganrun

Bit on edge again today. Why is it if I feel things are going ok and I'm happy that I'm tempting fate. One of my family were feeling a bit under the weather yesterday but they seem fine now but now another one is feeling a bit under the weather. Now I'm feeling tense and anxious thinking about it. It's funny how these types of events make me want to run away somewhere else.

ds4593

I’ve managed to find another therapist after the lack of progress from the last one. And I also managed to get the medication that I wanted to try next after the others had zero positive effects. Duloxetine.

But I really finding it hard to cope. These steps (and all previous steps) feel like they are only prolonging the inevitable.
Every single element of my life where I try to make things better, try to function normally, try to shut out the dark thoughts, or simply try to not cause pain to people close to me. Just every part of it fails or makes things even worse.

Just finding it hard to cope.

carzony

Hey all,

Just checking in for the first time in at least a year.

My Anxiety is still a daily struggle with hot flashes, struggles to breathe, Panic feeling, and lately new side effects that are starting to reveal themselves. I am at least able to hold down a full time job and have had little absences since starting nearly 2 years ago. My biggest issue now is travelling in vehicles or public transport or even being far away from home.

I am able to get to work in my own car but cannot go anywhere without driving myself. It's left me extremely restricted and i'm kinda stuck in my current job simply out of convince.

LegacyUser

Been suffering on and off the past few years with depression.

Did nothing to begin with, typical head in the sand stuff.

Last few years been on meds and counselling. Neither is working atm, onto second counsellor and made the decision with a very helpful gp to come off the meds.
I have been a horrible bastard at home, humours, no energy, no sex drive, awful husband and not much better of a father.

Though coming off the pills-
Efexor XL 150 might help but the weaning off process is horrendous atm. Slowly coming off them but hitting a darkness im not able for. The head zaps I expected but feels so much worse.

Easter holidays with the kids and it should be fun but im in tatters

Pretty sure ive ruined my marriage and im really struggling to have th energy to pick myself up and go again.

whodini

Hi, I've never posted here before but trying to be more proactive about dealing with my anxiety, mostly health and some unexplained panic symptoms, so I hope it's okay to join in the conversation. I'm a 40 year old female and have been dealing with physical manifestations of panic/anxiety for 2.5 years now. I would be interested to know if anyone gets GI/digestive issues related to their anxiety or depression?
I hope everyone is having a good day/evening.

Tell me how

whodini wrote:

Hi, I've never posted here before but trying to be more proactive about dealing with my anxiety, mostly health and some unexplained panic symptoms, so I hope it's okay to join in the conversation. I'm a 40 year old female and have been dealing with physical manifestations of panic/anxiety for 2.5 years now. I would be interested to know if anyone gets GI/digestive issues related to their anxiety or depression? I hope everyone is having a good day/evening.

Welcome. Hope you get some comfort from the thread.

RabbleRouser2k

whodini wrote: »

Hi, I've never posted here before but trying to be more proactive about dealing with my anxiety, mostly health and some unexplained panic symptoms, so I hope it's okay to join in the conversation. I'm a 40 year old female and have been dealing with physical manifestations of panic/anxiety for 2.5 years now. I would be interested to know if anyone gets GI/digestive issues related to their anxiety or depression?
I hope everyone is having a good day/evening.

Yep-and yep. Going all the way back to my teens. I would get every stomach problem, and general stomach anxiety. Had no idea why, but even on the day of my LC results, I had to get them online, because I couldn't go to get them in person (stomach flared up-was going back and forth to the toilet).

Medication has helped, but that's not for everyone.

Graces7

Graces7 wrote: »

Sending everyone flowers for Easter..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D27PRpC_NCw

Had a good phone call with my help. We agree that the long term stresses of the last year, two moves, the battle with ESB etc have finally caught up with me.

Sometimes we all and each I think have to overstretch ourselves to survive and get to a safe place

But sooner or later that catches up with is;payment exacted. With interest! Stress is a miser and a usurer

So a hard time ahead a while but we will come through.. "Time and the hour run through the roughest day.. "

Thanks everyone for support..

I know I need to totally reorganise my life so I am no longer permanently running on fumes! So this is as it needs to be. Sleeping many hours a day now and just pottering meaningfully.. 12 hours and more last night. Rip Van Winkle move over...
Needing to find shopping help as it makes for a too long day else.. cannot do that. Maybe need a goat and hens!

Just .. exhausted .. but at least I know what is wrong with me and that means a huge amount.