Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

ds4593

YFlyer wrote: »

What meditation technique(s) and exercises did you try?

I used to have a large interest in Buddhism, but the main one is Mindfulness.
As for exercise I vary it, but I do both weight lifting and cardio.

Kitty6277

Feeling strangely anxious today. Thought maybe it could be because I had a few things to do, but I've managed to work my way through most of it, but it hasn't really done anything to alleviate my feelings. Just feeling like I want to see one person in particular, but don't want to come across as needy seeing as I only saw him yesterday.

Might see if I can go for a swim later on, that distracts me and usually makes me feel better

Kitty6277

Kitty6277 wrote: »

Feeling strangely anxious today. Thought maybe it could be because I had a few things to do, but I've managed to work my way through most of it, but it hasn't really done anything to alleviate my feelings. Just feeling like I want to see one person in particular, but don't want to come across as needy seeing as I only saw him yesterday.

Might see if I can go for a swim later on, that distracts me and usually makes me feel better

Your post struck a cord with me Kitty. I remember in past relationships of mine feeling anxious in between seeing each other. What if he's changed his mind, will I call him, will I see if he's free, what if he isn't, I miss him, I'm only happy when we're together.

It was actually hellish and yes very needy. For a long time I didn't know how to make myself happy so I looked to relationships to that for me.
The thing is though Kitty they never will. Don't put that expectation, power even, on to another person. We are all fragile and flawed so could never measure up.

Find other ways of managing your anxiety. Having someone in your life should be complimentary, not absolutely necessary and all consuming.

Graces7

Deleted User wrote: »

Your post struck a cord with me Kitty. I remember in past relationships of mine feeling anxious in between seeing each other. What if he's changed his mind, will I call him, will I see if he's free, what if he isn't, I miss him, I'm only happy when we're together.

It was actually hellish and yes very needy. For a long time I didn't know how to make myself happy so I looked to relationships to that for me.
The thing is though Kitty they never will. Don't put that expectation, power even, on to another person. We are all fragile and flawed so could never measure up.

Find other ways of managing your anxiety. Having someone in your life should be complimentary, not absolutely necessary and all consuming.

Dependency is all a part of this. Other folk are stronger, better.. I think you get it! I am almost past that totally now and the boot can be on the other foot in that folk look up to me too much sometimes. I tell them please do not put me on a pedestal as I have no head for heights

Kitty6277

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Your post struck a cord with me Kitty. I remember in past relationships of mine feeling anxious in between seeing each other. What if he's changed his mind, will I call him, will I see if he's free, what if he isn't, I miss him, I'm only happy when we're together.

It was actually hellish and yes very needy. For a long time I didn't know how to make myself happy so I looked to relationships to that for me.
The thing is though Kitty they never will. Don't put that expectation, power even, on to another person. We are all fragile and flawed so could never measure up.

Find other ways of managing your anxiety. Having someone in your life should be complimentary, not absolutely necessary and all consuming.

I used to be like what you said at the start of your post in the beginning of our relationship, but we've been together almost 2 years now, and both of us are in it for the long haul, which I'm well aware of, (and continuously remind myself of when I'm having a bad day). Some days I do still get that horrible anxious "oh my god, what if he decides he doesn't love me anymore/decides to dump me" etc, but that's something that I've largely managed to overcome.

I think maybe the wanting to see him is as a distraction/something to do so I'd be able to push the anxiety to the back of my head. Although my mam brought me out for coffee, so people watching is proving to be a good enough distraction in itself

Kitty6277

Kitty6277 wrote: »

I used to be like what you said at the start of your post in the beginning of our relationship, but we've been together almost 2 years now, and both of us are in it for the long haul, which I'm well aware of, (and continuously remind myself of when I'm having a bad day). Some days I do still get that horrible anxious "oh my god, what if he decides he doesn't love me anymore/decides to dump me" etc, but that's something that I've largely managed to overcome.

I think maybe the wanting to see him is as a distraction/something to do so I'd be able to push the anxiety to the back of my head. Although my mam brought me out for coffee, so people watching is proving to be a good enough distraction in itself

It's good that you've overcome those what ifs. Life can change in a heartbeat so we need to be able to deal with that if it happens.
Gentle meditation can be great for the anxiety.

Kelly777

Sorry Gremlinertia I fell asleep last night.
Yes I just have very low energy and I just feel I can't get organised to do anything. I'm 41.
There does not seem to be many people on this thread talking about anxiety and depression... why do you think that is. I thought there wud be lots talking about how they are with it

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I think if you do some research, even reading back over this thread, you'll see that anxiety and depression have severe effects on motivation and energy levels too. I'm late thirties

Gremlinertia

We do tend to talk about it, give yourself time to get used to us Chatting here is very wide ranging, from things that contribute to anxiety or depression to things that are disrupted by the same plus other ailments tied in with the whole.

Kelly777

Hi how are you. I know your feeling as I'm trying everything and nothing seems to be lifting it.
I do CBT . did you ever try that.
like you the only thing working at the moment is consequences on others.
Exercise does not seem to be working for me even though everyone says to do it

ds4593 wrote: »

I used to have a large interest in Buddhism, but the main one is Mindfulness.
As for exercise I vary it, but I do both weight lifting and cardio.

Kelly777

Hi kitty
how are you. do you feel that needy feeling.....what is that as I have that all the time and it's so annoying. is it the anxiety. I think people feel it off you wen you are like that....i mean feel it off me





quote="Kitty6277;106665351"]Feeling strangely anxious today. Thought maybe it could be because I had a few things to do, but I've managed to work my way through most of it, but it hasn't really done anything to alleviate my feelings. Just feeling like I want to see one person in particular, but don't want to come across as needy seeing as I only saw him yesterday.

Might see if I can go for a swim later on, that distracts me and usually makes me feel better[/quote]

Kelly777

Hi Gremlinertia.
I just thought there wud be more people chatting about it. I thought I'd log on today and there wud be a list of posts from different people . maybe if I post a general post asking how people are .
how are you today . are you in work now

Gremlinertia wrote: »

We do tend to talk about it, give yourself time to get used to us Chatting here is very wide ranging, from things that contribute to anxiety or depression to things that are disrupted by the same plus other ailments tied in with the whole.

Gremlinertia

It's hit or miss, it can be quiet at weekends as many have family commitments etc. Busy over winter too as the dark days take a toll on lots of people.. Have you looked at the post at the top of the page with a list of other resources?

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055017579

Kitty6277

Kelly777 wrote: »

Hi kitty
how are you. do you feel that needy feeling.....what is that as I have that all the time and it's so annoying. is it the anxiety. I think people feel it off you wen you are like that....i mean feel it off me

Kitty6277 wrote: »

Feeling strangely anxious today. Thought maybe it could be because I had a few things to do, but I've managed to work my way through most of it, but it hasn't really done anything to alleviate my feelings. Just feeling like I want to see one person in particular, but don't want to come across as needy seeing as I only saw him yesterday.

Might see if I can go for a swim later on, that distracts me and usually makes me feel better

Hi Kelly

For me, it's more when I'm not with a person. Like (back in the days when it used to affect me) I'd be like "oh, they're not texting me back despite being online, maybe they're gone off me/maybe they'll meet someone better than me" etc. Funny enough though, my boyfriend is the only person I used to get that way with, perhaps in part because I tend to be insecure at times and think that he could do better than me (even though I've been told multiple times that it's the other way around). I tend to want to see him a lot, which can be difficult because he likes to just do his own thing, which I've had to learn is in no way a reflection on me, it's just that he likes to chill by himself. A lot of the time it's just overthinking every little detail and blowing it completely out of proportion in my head, and probably the worst part is that you know you're being irrational, but that doesn't make you feel any better.

I hope that makes sense, it's a kinda hard thing to explain.

Kelly777

Hi all
I'm just wondering if any of you are bad at the moment with depression and anxiety and what you find good especially for anxiety.
I was going to try hypnotherapy so I'm wondering if anyone has tried it and find it good.
I'm doing counselling and CBT and mediatation at the moment but I am still very bad with anxiety.
my problem is worrying about something that may happen in the future and I have ptsd from an event in the past. looking to see if there is anything else I can try
Thanks guys

Kelly777

[
ok great thanks for that.




quote="Gremlinertia;106669830"]It's hit or miss, it can be quiet at weekends as many have family commitments etc. Busy over winter too as the dark days take a toll on lots of people.. Have you looked at the post at the top of the page with a list of other resources?

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055017579[/quote]

Gremlinertia

You already seem to be trying a few things together Kelly what do your current therapists/practitioners think of adding to that?. Battling anxiety issues takes time unfortunately, i'm still bad frequently when a thought gets stuck in my head..

Kelly777

ah I see kitty. I know what you are talking about. mine is a needy feeling alot of the time and I think it's the anxiety . thanks for you message xx

Kitty6277 wrote: »

Hi Kelly

For me, it's more when I'm not with a person. Like (back in the days when it used to affect me) I'd be like "oh, they're not texting me back despite being online, maybe they're gone off me/maybe they'll meet someone better than me" etc. Funny enough though, my boyfriend is the only person I used to get that way with, perhaps in part because I tend to be insecure at times and think that he could do better than me (even though I've been told multiple times that it's the other way around). I tend to want to see him a lot, which can be difficult because he likes to just do his own thing, which I've had to learn is in no way a reflection on me, it's just that he likes to chill by himself. A lot of the time it's just overthinking every little detail and blowing it completely out of proportion in my head, and probably the worst part is that you know you're being irrational, but that doesn't make you feel any better.

I hope that makes sense, it's a kinda hard thing to explain.

Kelly777

yes I'm just trying everything in desperation to get control over it but they don't seem to be working. I think it's cos the anxiety is caused be something that may happen in my future......and I've no control over it happening or not......so I can't control anxiety . if it was a generalised anxiety I think I cud control it more. I just don't know if I can get over it as I have this lurking in my future.......if you get me.
if I didn't think I wud be fine !!!!

Gremlinertia wrote: »

You already seem to be trying a few things together Kelly what do your current therapists/practitioners think of adding to that?. Battling anxiety issues takes time unfortunately, i'm still bad frequently when a thought gets stuck in my head..

Gremlinertia

Kelly777 wrote: »

if I didn't think I wud be fine !!!!

That bit is nearly every one of us, all i can ever do is tackle the current symptoms of anxiety, trying to really realise i can neither prevent nor control the future is the key understanding for me.. It doesn't work all the time, sometimes not at all but with practice it works enough to give some relief.. The meditation stuff about being in the moment is so important

Kitty6277

Gremlinertia wrote: »

You already seem to be trying a few things together Kelly what do your current therapists/practitioners think of adding to that?. Battling anxiety issues takes time unfortunately, i'm still bad frequently when a thought gets stuck in my head..

I can be the same Grem, if I get one of those terrible 'what ifs' stuck in my head, I have to think of every which way around it, which is exhausting

Kelly777 wrote: »

ah I see kitty. I know what you are talking about. mine is a needy feeling alot of the time and I think it's the anxiety . thanks for you message xx

I'm fairly sure mine is anxiety related too, if it's not the entire cause of it, it certainly doesn't make it any better.

Kelly777

that is very good Gremlinertia that you cannot prevent or control the future. I need to get to understand and accept that.......if I cud only accept that. yes I might be starting mindfulness. the problem is it's a 6 week course but my husband works shift and will not be there for some of the weeks. I think if I cud be more in the moment it wud be very good.
just wondering do you feel very angry inside and frustrated. I'm wondering is this part of depression and anxiety.
I think I feel very angry cos I want to be able to change wat happened and wat cud happen and I can't so I am angry and frustrated. can you relate to this

Gremlinertia wrote: »

That bit is nearly every one of us, all i can ever do is tackle the current symptoms of anxiety, trying to really realise i can neither prevent nor control the future is the key understanding for me.. It doesn't work all the time, sometimes not at all but with practice it works enough to give some relief.. The meditation stuff about being in the moment is so important

Gremlinertia

Kelly777 wrote: »

that is very good Gremlinertia that you cannot prevent or control the future. I need to get to understand and accept that.......if I cud only accept that. yes I might be starting mindfulness. the problem is it's a 6 week course but my husband works shift and will not be there for some of the weeks. I think if I cud be more in the moment it wud be very good.
just wondering do you feel very angry inside and frustrated. I'm wondering is this part of depression and anxiety.
I think I feel very angry cos I want to be able to change wat happened and wat cud happen and I can't so I am angry and frustrated. can you relate to this

Mindfulness and meditations can be practiced anytime really.. Yeah i have dealt with some real difficult anger issues over the years, medication and therapy have helped but i still get a disproportionate amount of rage at simple things sometimes.

Kelly777

yes that's exactly what it is real rage that doesn't warrant the amount of it. I have kids and when they are misbehaving I can get so angry but 3 years ago I wudnt have been like that.
Also do you find the anxiety gets less at night. I find the night wen it's dark is nice as anxiety decreases

do you have kids


quote="Gremlinertia;106670163"]Mindfulness and meditations can be practiced anytime really.. Yeah i have dealt with some real difficult anger issues over the years, medication and therapy have helped but i still get a disproportionate amount of rage at simple things sometimes.[/quote]

Gremlinertia

I don't really have times where i feel things, anger or anxiety or whatever can happen at any time..

Kelly777

I do feel a bit better at night when it's dark. my anxiety decreases.
Do you have kids if you don't mind me asking






quote="Gremlinertia;106670500"]I don't really have times where i feel things, anger or anxiety or whatever can happen at any time..[/quote]

Gremlinertia

No kids, spent my whole life single, too angry and depressed to get close to people..

Kelly777

Really that is terrible on you.
And you are great to be able to hold down job. I cudnt hold down job at the moment I'm too bad. did you ever feel like you have had enough!!!

Gremlinertia wrote: »

No kids, spent my whole life single, too angry and depressed to get close to people..

Gremlinertia

Working has always helped me, i have often hit a wall mentally but if i plug away at some monotonous task like washing the dishes and cleaning the house or doing the endless paperwork that comes with being an adult i can kinda drift through those patches

Kelly777

good on you for holding down a job.
lately I've been thinking that life is not worth it if I'm going to feel like this . I've felt the same for the last 3 years and I'm just sick of it now . the only reason I'm carrying on is for the kids and husband. I can't believe I'm in this situation. before the tramatic event happening if I heard of anyone ending it I cudnt understand how they cud feel that low , but now I do. its very easy to go down but very hard to come back up.
I feel terrible as I feel I'm a poor excuse for a mum. all I want in this life is for my kids to be happy and have a normal life, but I ask how they cud with a mum like me.
I used to think I was a good mum before the event but now I'm terrible. I have a lot of triggers and they stop me communicating with the kids.
I'm gone very quiet in myself and I don't talk alot to the kids, which was never like me.
I've turned into someone I don't know. then I'm snapping at them as I'm angry inside. ah it's all just a mess







quote="Gremlinertia;106670747"]Working has always helped me, i have often hit a wall mentally but if i plug away at some monotonous task like washing the dishes and cleaning the house or doing the endless paperwork that comes with being an adult i can kinda drift through those patches[/quote]

Gremlinertia

It can change, you need to believe it will, put as much time as you can into mindfulness/meditation as you can while doing ordinary tasks. Stop and take time to breathe and look around.. Nature, music and reading are three things i can almost always relay on..