Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Try_harder

So I had the appt yesterday I went but couldnt get out of bed today for work, Cant face the world right now. Means Im missing the trip to London and France but Im not able right now. Im here in my back yard looking at the weeds and the mess and how this represents my life right now the front of my house is reasonable looking but behind that it the mess. I am such a mess right now. I just want to curl up in my duvet and make the world just go away but that will just increase the guilt and worthlessness

Kelly777

Hi try harder that's a pity you missed London and France but I suppose if you are not up to it what can you do. Yes my life is a mess at the moment so I know what you mean. Are you on meds. At least you are managing to hold down your job. Did you just ring in sick for that day. Wat appt did you have? how are you feeling today





quote="Try_harder;106784286"]So I had the appt yesterday I went but couldnt get out of bed today for work, Cant face the world right now. Means Im missing the trip to London and France but Im not able right now. Im here in my back yard looking at the weeds and the mess and how this represents my life right now the front of my house is reasonable looking but behind that it the mess. I am such a mess right now. I just want to curl up in my duvet and make the world just go away but that will just increase the guilt and worthlessness[/quote]

Checkmate19

I have been reading this thread for quite a while and find it very informing. This is going to be quite a longish post to please bear with me.

I'm 42. I have suffered with depression for as long as i can remember. My first real bad bout was when i lived in oz for over a year just after college when i was 21. I came back and got into banking. Was in and out of jobs. Never was the job the reason just the bouts of depression which could last three four months at a time.

When i was around 30 when went to see a psychiatrist ( i had been to one a few times before) and told them im bipolar. My mum is and her sister as well. They said your not and left me on normal depression tablets which i wasn't really taken on a regular basis. Anyone i left another job at 33 and just got a very bad bout of depression. Around when i was 36 i went again to the same psychiatrist and told them i need treating for bipolar and got same reply. About two months later i had a really manic episode. It lasted around three weeks. After that i came down and went really low. I could barely get out of the house due to the shame of the manic episode. I felt embarrassed etc. I didn't do anything bad or hurtful to anyone but more just embarrassed myself. The depression lasted around two years. I was suicidal. Anyone my sis got me down to a mental health clinic and said treat me for bipolar. Gradually i started to improve and the tablets seemed to work. Thank god today i have come out the other end and am in good form. I used to do alot of running and am back doing that.

The only thing is im not working. I used to have a very decent job. I know money is nothing without your health but i feel confident enough to go back to work. At least start slowly. The only thing is that i feel what if things don't work out and the depression was to come back. My mum suffers with bipolar as well. Thank go shes ok at present. But when she's down it effects me as well. Just looking for a bit of advice on weather going back to work is the way forward. I have a business degree and worked in fund admin. As i said feel confident enough to go back to work probably not funds. But the fear is there of the depression coming back. I know this is a long post to thanks for reading.

Tell me how

Checkmate19 wrote: »

I have been reading this thread for quite a while and find it very informing. This is going to be quite a longish post to please bear with me.

I'm 42. I have suffered with depression for as long as i can remember. My first real bad bout was when i lived in oz for over a year just after college when i was 21. I came back and got into banking. Was in and out of jobs. Never was the job the reason just the bouts of depression which could last three four months at a time.

When i was around 30 when went to see a psychiatrist ( i had been to one a few times before) and told them im bipolar. My mum is and her sister as well. They said your not and left me on normal depression tablets which i wasn't really taken on a regular basis. Anyone i left another job at 33 and just got a very bad bout of depression. Around when i was 36 i went again to the same psychiatrist and told them i need treating for bipolar and got same reply. About two months later i had a really manic episode. It lasted around three weeks. After that i came down and went really low. I could barely get out of the house due to the shame of the manic episode. I felt embarrassed etc. I didn't do anything bad or hurtful to anyone but more just embarrassed myself. The depression lasted around two years. I was suicidal. Anyone my sis got me down to a mental health clinic and said treat me for bipolar. Gradually i started to improve and the tablets seemed to work. Thank god today i have come out the other end and am in good form. I used to do alot of running and am back doing that.

The only thing is im not working. I used to have a very decent job. I know money is nothing without your health but i feel confident enough to go back to work. At least start slowly. The only thing is that i feel what if things don't work out and the depression was to come back. My mum suffers with bipolar as well. Thank go shes ok at present. But when she's down it effects me as well. Just looking for a bit of advice on weather going back to work is the way forward. I have a business degree and worked in fund admin. As i said feel confident enough to go back to work probably not funds. But the fear is there of the depression coming back. I know this is a long post to thanks for reading.

Well done on getting to this point where you can start to consider returning to work. It will definitely bring challenges I expect but also massive benefits which will outweigh the challenges hopefully.

The depression might come back, but that might happen anyway.

With your degree and experience, you should be able to identify plenty roles which you can apply for. I think part of the challenge will be to identify the most appropriate role which will support you building up experience in the workplace again at an appropriate pace. Job sharing or reduced hours at the start maybe? A small office or quiet environment might also suit but it's really your preference.

I would suggest keeping a mood diary as you consider going back to work and for the first several weeks or months in the new job. This doesn't have to be very detailed but something which will allow for quick understanding of what your mood has been over a particular time.
For example. If you score your general mood each day on a scale of 1 - 10 (1: really don't want to be here! 10: Cloud 9). You could look back and see a trend which would help see the impact of considering going back to work and then doing so.

You are not obliged to disclose that you are bi-polar and personally, I would keep it private until you are entirely comfortable with your new colleagues, if at all. I suggest this purely to allow you to integrate without fear that your illness is impacting on how you do so. You can always tell people later, but if you tell them at the outset, you can't un-tell them. It is a very personal thing and that would be just my view.

Well done again, hope these tentative steps work out well for you.

Checkmate19

Cheers for the advice. The mood diary sounds like a good thing.

Fuko200

Last 3 days have been really hard, family making remarks on my weight and messy appearence, i know i look like a wreck but i struggle to even get out of bed and just feel like crying and clawing at my throat since it keeps closing up from holding back tears. My gf is out of work since they didnt renew her contract and shes trying to help me and i feel like utter sh!te for making her do so.
I wanna scream at everyone to just shut up, absolutely everything is setting me off.
I dont know if i should go on meds again or what, they dont exactly help and make me feel worse.

tantan2

Fuko200 wrote: »

Last 3 days have been really hard, family making remarks on my weight and messy appearence, i know i look like a wreck but i struggle to even get out of bed and just feel like crying and clawing at my throat since it keeps closing up from holding back tears. My gf is out of work since they didnt renew her contract and shes trying to help me and i feel like utter sh!te for making her do so.
I wanna scream at everyone to just shut up, absolutely everything is setting me off.
I dont know if i should go on meds again or what, they dont exactly help and make me feel worse.

If nothing else is working then it's time to take the medication route, you won't get a medal trying to struggle trough on your own.

Unfortunately most of the meds have side effects and some make you feel worse before getting better, I'm after being on numerous meds over the last 2 years and we are still trying to find a combination that works, it's a really long road, you do lose heart but you have to travel on it to get yourself better

Fuko200

tantan2 wrote: »

Fuko200 wrote: »

Last 3 days have been really hard, family making remarks on my weight and messy appearence, i know i look like a wreck but i struggle to even get out of bed and just feel like crying and clawing at my throat since it keeps closing up from holding back tears. My gf is out of work since they didnt renew her contract and shes trying to help me and i feel like utter sh!te for making her do so.
I wanna scream at everyone to just shut up, absolutely everything is setting me off.
I dont know if i should go on meds again or what, they dont exactly help and make me feel worse.

If nothing else is working then it's time to take the medication route, you won't get a medal trying to struggle trough on your own.

Unfortunately most of the meds have side effects and some make you feel worse before getting better, I'm after being on numerous meds over the last 2 years and we are still trying to find a combination that works, it's a really long road, you do lose heart but you have to travel on it to get yourself better

Ive been on meds on and off for the last 7-8 years and it seems like every combo i try fails me. I dont notice them working and just the side effects.

tantan2

Yeah I know it seems so disheartening, I've been on and off them 22yrs, only started at the psych hospital a year and half ago, starting new meds again on Friday, I look at it like I have to keep trying... Something is bound to work

worded

Some music to sooth the soul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbGVJbxO4A8

DrWu

Hi folks, I've just been diagnosed with Rapid Cycling Bipolar II. My psychiatrist has put me on Lamictal.

I am absolutely terrified of the side effects (I'm talking about the rash of doom!!!). I'm a bit of a hypochondriac to start with and I know I will be constantly freaking out and panicking about every itch or hive I get.

Any thoughts? Thank you.

tantan2

DrWu wrote: »

Hi folks, I've just been diagnosed with Rapid Cycling Bipolar II. My psychiatrist has put me on Lamictal.

I am absolutely terrified of the side effects (I'm talking about the rash of doom!!!). I'm a bit of a hypochondriac to start with and I know I will be constantly freaking out and panicking about every itch or hive I get.

Any thoughts? Thank you.

Hi,
I'm in the process of weening off Lamictal, I was put on it 2 months ago.
I am on Lithium for the rapid cycling and the lamictal was to help pull me up out of the depression.

like you I'm a hypochondriac,

apparently you only get the rash if you go up on the meds to fast, anyway I didn't get any rash.

What I did get was a deeper depression that didn't cycle at all, it was even worse each time I tirated, I looked that up on line and the deep depression would be a side effect that isn't normal but if you feel yourself getting low each time you increase the dose try tell yourself it's only going to last a few days

I hope this med works for you,
Feel better x

Tell me how

It really must be very difficult for hypochondriacs. You go on Google diagnosing a sore toe and next thing you're convinced it's much more serious.

Do your Dr's know about your hypochondriac tendencies? Hopefully they will explain the very small likelihood of side effects and will be the judge of them should they occur.

Confidence in your Dr would hopefully ease some of your fears.

Wanderer78

Great program on rte last night about mental health, I ll post a link later, very moving and upsetting though

edit: an upsetting watch but worth it

https://www.rte.ie/player/ie/show/the-big-picture-30003873/10871452/

DrWu

tantan2 wrote: »

Hi,
I'm in the process of weening off Lamictal, I was put on it 2 months ago.
I am on Lithium for the rapid cycling and the lamictal was to help pull me up out of the depression.

like you I'm a hypochondriac,

apparently you only get the rash if you go up on the meds to fast, anyway I didn't get any rash.

What I did get was a deeper depression that didn't cycle at all, it was even worse each time I tirated, I looked that up on line and the deep depression would be a side effect that isn't normal but if you feel yourself getting low each time you increase the dose try tell yourself it's only going to last a few days

I hope this med works for you,
Feel better x

Hi tantan2,

Thank you so much for your reply. I think I'm going to call the clinic on Monday and have a chat with them about it. I know I would be a nervous wreck on Lamictal - I get hayfever and little rashes are not uncommon for me - I would be calling the clinic and presenting at the hospital at all hours. That said the last 6 months have been a ****-show of epic proportions with suicide attempts and crazy behaviour.

Ugh...

ds4593

I don’t suffer from this now. But a month ago I felt that I had symptoms of psychotic depression, primarily in the form of voices/suggestions. This is the first time that I have displayed psychotic symptoms along side my ongoing depression. It lasted around two weeks.
It scared me quite a lot due to the nature of the voices. I wanted to commit myself to hospital because of the voices, but I had an important job to do and I was worried that I wouldn’t be let out in time.
I was also scared of mentioning it to my wife as she is already finding it hard enough to cope with my other issues. This feels like I crossed the “crazy” line along with a potentially more dangerous line, and I’m sure my wife would also see it that way.
I am mainly looking for advice for if this happens again.
If I go to my GP will they be able to give me anti-psychotic drugs or would they refer me to a hospital that deals specifically with people with mental issues?
Also would I be committed if I looked for help while suffering from psychotic depression and if I was, is there a set minimum time you need to stay in the hospital?

tantan2

DrWu wrote: »

tantan2 wrote: »

Hi,
I'm in the process of weening off Lamictal, I was put on it 2 months ago.
I am on Lithium for the rapid cycling and the lamictal was to help pull me up out of the depression.

like you I'm a hypochondriac,

apparently you only get the rash if you go up on the meds to fast, anyway I didn't get any rash.

What I did get was a deeper depression that didn't cycle at all, it was even worse each time I tirated, I looked that up on line and the deep depression would be a side effect that isn't normal but if you feel yourself getting low each time you increase the dose try tell yourself it's only going to last a few days

I hope this med works for you,
Feel better x

Hi tantan2,

Thank you so much for your reply. I think I'm going to call the clinic on Monday and have a chat with them about it. I know I would be a nervous wreck on Lamictal - I get hayfever and little rashes are not uncommon for me - I would be calling the clinic and presenting at the hospital at all hours. That said the last 6 months have been a ****-show of epic proportions with suicide attempts and crazy behaviour.

Ugh...

That is the best thing for you to do, a professional will ease your concerns.
Lamictal is supposed to be a wonder drug, really hope it works for you.

I just started my new meds just now, I'm terrified here too.....
I'm probably not the best person to be advising anyone 😊😊

DrWu

tantan2 wrote: »

That is the best thing for you to do, a professional will ease your concerns.
Lamictal is supposed to be a wonder drug, really hope it works for you.

I just started my new meds just now, I'm terrified here too.....
I'm probably not the best person to be advising anyone ����

I hope it goes well for you. Let me know how you get on with them. I'm going to see if they'll put me on something with less scary side effects. I had a notion to try and fight this thing without meds but I tip into the "upside down" so quickly these days that I know I'm kidding myself. Something as small as a misconstrued comment or the sun going behind a cloud, and I can feel the world turn on me.

tantan2

Hi all,
Just looking for a little bit of advice, I was put on Lithium 9 months ago but the depression hasn't lifted.

They then added in Prozac but the anxiety is horrendous so much so I haven't left my house alone in the last month not even to get shopping.

Quetiapine/ Seroquel has now been added are 25mg at night and 25mg in morning with a further 50mg to be used as I need it.

I'd love to hear from others on Seroquel and their experience, I took it last night and slept great, took it this morning and I'm shattered all day and spent alot of it in bed ( something I know I shouldn't be doing)

How can this drug be given to help sleep at night time and then we are expected to take it in the morning and be expected to stay awake all day

My default when unwell is to stay in bed, i have been struggling with not taking naps in the day time, if I stay on the Quetiapine for a while does the grogginess ease?

Thanks for reading xx

Gremlinertia

Been on it a few years, you will acclimatise in time but initial grogginess is tough alright

tantan2

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Been on it a few years, you will acclimatise in time but initial grogginess is tough alright

Thanks so much for replying x

Kelly777

is it just me or has the layout of this thread page changed in the last few days or am I doing something wrong

Kelly777

hi how are you. has the layout of site changed in last few days. thanks

Gremlinertia

Kelly, i haven't noticed anything different anyway..

Kelly777

ok thanks grem. my layout is different I don't know why. how are you

Gremlinertia

Changing from phone to computer or another device could do it..

I'm ok, anxiety and mood swings doing their dastardly dance in my head as always but managing.. You?

Tell me how

Kelly777 wrote:

is it just me or has the layout of this thread page changed in the last few days or am I doing something wrong

Are you on PC?

Are you on "Responsive" or "Legacy" site?

Scroll to bottom of page to view/select.

Kelly777

Tell me how wrote: »

Kelly777 wrote:

is it just me or has the layout of this thread page changed in the last few days or am I doing something wrong

Are you on PC?

Are you on "Responsive" or "Legacy" site?

Scroll to bottom of page to view/select.

I am on responsive . I'm not good with this lol. I'm on my mobile phone. thanks for the help

Kelly777

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Changing from phone to computer or another device could do it..

I'm ok, anxiety and mood swings doing their dastardly dance in my head as always but managing.. You?

hi grem
oh I know the feeling. my doc just put me on new meds for anxiety. it's called buspar .....have you heard of it or ever been on it.

Kelly777

Hi all
my doc just put me on new meds for anxiety. it's called buspar. has anyone ever heard of it. I really hope it works