Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

titan18

wexie wrote:

You don't forget Titan, and you don't have to. But you do have to try to let go of someone wants to be let go.

How though? I've never been able to and I end up just spiraling as I regret everything I do, and if I don't do it, I regret it as well. I just wish she stopped ignoring me and just told me what I did wrong. That and the ability to time travel but neither of those seems likely so I'm fcuked.

wexie

titan18 wrote: »

wexie wrote:

You don't forget Titan, and you don't have to. But you do have to try to let go of someone wants to be let go.

How though? I've never been able to and I end up just spiraling as I regret everything I do, and if I don't do it, I regret it as well. I just wish she stopped ignoring me and just told me what I did wrong. That and the ability to time travel but neither of those seems likely so I'm fcuked.

Ha, time travel would be great indeed and I sure as hell would like that option.

I can't really tell you how I'm afraid. But hopefully I might add a piece of the puzzle.

Do you think anything good will come from continuing to contact this girl if she has indicated she'd prefer you not to? I know things aren't always too clear when women are involved (believe me I know) but think of how you would feel if someone kept contacting you that you had told (or indicated) not to?

If you really feel for this girl... Would you want her to feel uncomfortable? Or worried? Or would you like her to feel safe and happy? Even if it turns out to be without you?

Obviously I don't know the ins and outs of the situation but it sounds like she has indicated she's not looking for any further contact, even if it's unclear at this time why. How would it come across if you don't respect that? How would you feel if you knew someone else made her feel that way?

It sucks, and it sucks big hairy sweaty man ass. But ignoring her wishes won't make things one bit better

I have to go to bed now but I'll check here in the morning. If there's anything I can do to help please don't hesitate. PM me if you want.

In the meantime maybe write her a letter? Don't write it in an email app. Write it in word or notepad.

It might be good to help you clarify and organise your thoughts and feelings.

Take care

Tell me how

titan18 wrote:

How though? I've never been able to and I end up just spiraling as I regret everything I do, and if I don't do it, I regret it as well. I just wish she stopped ignoring me and just told me what I did wrong. That and the ability to time travel but neither of those seems likely so I'm fcuked.

Forgive me if I'm being too judgemental here but I suspect that your continued infatuation with this girl has nothing to do with her.
I think you have fixated on her because of self esteem issues you have about yourself and what value you think you possess. She showed you some attention which was very new for you and something which you feel incapable of having with someone else and so you are trying desperately to get that feeling back.

I say this because, if it is true, maybe recognizing this would make you see that you need to work in your self esteem. If you want to do this, there are ways you can start on your own but also ways a therapist could help you.

If I correctly remember your posts from before, this girl had some mental health issues herself. If this is the case, your contacting her could be difficult for her to deal with. I'm sure that's not something you want to be the cause of.

You can be challenged legally for contacting someone who has requested you do not, on social media as much as in person so you should really try not to.

All of this is judgemental on my part, and I know I'm not qualified to judge you as such. This is purely my opinion and I'm posting hoping it will help you recognize that you need to look internally to overcome the issues you are having.

Tell me how

wexie wrote:

In the meantime maybe write her a letter? Don't write it in an email app. Write it in word or notepad.

This might not be a bad idea. But, do not send it!!!

Writing it might help you but if she does not want to be contacted, you should respect that.

Try_harder

In a bad head space. This is so frustrating

titan18

Tell me how wrote:

Forgive me if I'm being too judgemental here but I suspect that your continued infatuation with this girl has nothing to do with her. I think you have fixated on her because of self esteem issues you have about yourself and what value you think you possess. She showed you some attention which was very new for you and something which you feel incapable of having with someone else and so you are trying desperately to get that feeling back.

That part is true anyway. Not every day a beautiful, funny and intelligent woman takes interest me, and for her to understand depression just made her even better.

As I just made the analogy to my therapist, I like it to finding a diamond. A rich person finds it and it makes no difference, but if a homeless person does, that is the most treasured thing in the world to them. I'm the homeless person in that scenario when it comes to my self esteem and amount of social relationships in my life.

mg1982

Like others have said here titan the best thing to do here is respect her wishes and try to draw a line under it. It might feel right now that you will never meet another woman that you feel strongly about but there will. I was terrible with the opposite sex all through my teens and twenties, it was only when i hit 30 that i had my first relationship. Funny thing is is that when i stopped worrying and obsessing about it that you kind of become more relaxed and things can happen more naturally.

LegacyUser

I found myself in a big 'round-table' discussion yesterday at work. It began with everyone introducing themselves. As it worked its way around the table (about 20 people, mostly strangers), I had such a surge of anxiety. Just as it was approaching my turn, I pretended something was on my phone and left the room. I came back in, and ironically was grand after that, contributing pretty well to proceedings. It is just that initial thing, when I don't know anyone in the room, that terrifies me.

The bizarre/hilarious thing is that I am a (well-regarded) lecturer. It's different though when I am in control of proceedings in a lecture. Meetings with peers, in contrast, have always thrown me

Kitty6277

I hate the way something so small can set me off into a cycle of anxiety, so much so that it affects my whole body. It just turns my stomach and I can't eat, which is what's happening this morning. And the worst part is that I'm worried about nothing, there is no need for me to be this anxious.

wexie

Kitty6277 wrote: »

And the worst part is that I'm worried about nothing, there is no need for me to be this anxious.

Yeah if only there was some freakin logic to it

(well, maybe there is down low but I sure as hell can't see it yet:mad:)

Kitty6277

wexie wrote: »

Yeah if only there was some freakin logic to it

(well, maybe there is down low but I sure as hell can't see it yet:mad:)

For me at the moment, it's a text I sent yesterday evening that hasn't delivered yet (i.e that the person hasn't been online), which it a totally normal thing. But my brain blows it up into "what if they don't wanna talk to you anymore/what if you're annoying/blah blah blah" and to a lesser extent "what if something happened to them?" which is ridiculous because I'm not that insecure, but the illogical part of my brain won't listen to the logical part :mad: Like you know there is no need to be worried, and yet you are.

I apologise, I realise you didn't ask, but it feels kinda good to get it out

wexie

Kitty6277 wrote: »

I apologise, I realise you didn't ask, but it feels kinda good to get it out

There is absolutely no need for apologies.

Can you just ring them? My wife has a tendency to do what you described and I always just tell her to ring and then you'll know.

(of course it may not be appropriate but if it is it will answer everything and may help your anxiety)

Kitty6277

wexie wrote: »

Can you just ring them? My wife has a tendency to do what you described and I always just tell her to ring and then you'll know.

(of course it may not be appropriate but if it is it will answer everything and may help your anxiety)

I've no real need to ring them, I don't have anything particularly important to say, you know? But like if they didn't want to talk to me I'd likely already know, they just probably haven't felt like being online, and then my head is running away with me

DrWu

Week three trying to do this off meds (Bipolar 2 and ADHD). It's been tough but I'm managing. No freaking out over anything that might be a rash (I'm prone to terrible anxiety and worrying) which is good. Still plenty of ideation but no attempts (tried twice in last six months) which is also good. I'm by no means suggesting anyone else tries this, this is purely an individual decision, but so far so good. Hope you're all doing well.

ds4593

Well I don’t feel good.

Putting aside my usual issues of depression. I mentioned a while back about a brief psychotic episode I had. I was hoping that would be the first and last time and the voice I was hearing was telling/ordering me to hurt my loved ones. Not that I would act on it of course. None the less it was extremely disturbing.

Anyway that lasted two weeks and then it stopped. But just less that a week ago (three weeks after the first episode ended) I was under quiet a lot of family stress and out of nowhere that voice came back. It was shouting the stuff (same things as last time), but in a very demanding way, nearly drowning out my own thoughts.
Needless to say when it happened I found it extremely hard to think and function.
It only lasted an hour or so (I believe it’s called “micro psychosis”).

I feel pretty weak mentally now knowing that if my stress levels get too high this voice will come back.

I didn’t think my mental situation could get worse for me and my family. Ah little did I know there is still a long way to fall.

Graces7

Kitty6277 wrote: »

For me at the moment, it's a text I sent yesterday evening that hasn't delivered yet (i.e that the person hasn't been online), which it a totally normal thing. But my brain blows it up into "what if they don't wanna talk to you anymore/what if you're annoying/blah blah blah" and to a lesser extent "what if something happened to them?" which is ridiculous because I'm not that insecure, but the illogical part of my brain won't listen to the logical part :mad: Like you know there is no need to be worried, and yet you are.

I apologise, I realise you didn't ask, but it feels kinda good to get it out

This may not apply to you but! My body clock ( I have ME in severity ) kind of alters mid to late afternoon and my mood and tolerance go awol! I have learned over the years that if anything goes wrong at that time, I go ... bananas. Totally out of proportion to what has happened. So I now usually close down when that starts. People here know re the ME and that I am not available after 4 pm latest. I know why I am overreacting but that does not stop it. so I practice avoidance knowing that in the morning I will see it all differently as I always do < REST is vital, rest and foodi Letting things pass by and waiting .. we have an old wise saying" This too shall pass" and always it does

mg1982

ds4593 wrote: »

Well I don’t feel good.

Putting aside my usual issues of depression. I mentioned a while back about a brief psychotic episode I had. I was hoping that would be the first and last time and the voice I was hearing was telling/ordering me to hurt my loved ones. Not that I would act on it of course. None the less it was extremely disturbing.

Anyway that lasted two weeks and then it stopped. But just less that a week ago (three weeks after the first episode ended) I was under quiet a lot of family stress and out of nowhere that voice came back. It was shouting the stuff (same things as last time), but in a very demanding way, nearly drowning out my own thoughts.
Needless to say when it happened I found it extremely hard to think and function.
It only lasted an hour or so (I believe it’s called “micro psychosis”).

I feel pretty weak mentally now knowing that if my stress levels get too high this voice will come back.

I didn’t think my mental situation could get worse for me and my family. Ah little did I know there is still a long way to fall.

Hi ds. Have you spoken to your doc since about hearing voices or about any medication. I know it can be pretty unsettling feeling when these hallucinations do happen. But remember it doesnt make u bad person its just the nature of the illness, stress can do terrible things.

jaxxx

There's nothing like a personal death to shake the cobwebs of one's labyrinth to the depths where the cold hard truths of the sad realities of life dwell. Born to die. That's pretty much it really, once all the small intermittent fragments of momentery joy are taken out of the equation, which truly only measure in nanoseconds compared to the full canvas of an individual life. Pain. Misery. Disorientation. The worst fate that can befall any conscious organism, to lose that which defines oneself: the spirit, the soul, and become lost in an eternal bottomless black hole. Such is the harsh tragedy that is fate's design for life, no matter the physical form it takes. This design, was it written or is it simply an occurence of a coincidental accident?

The conclusion? Purpose. What purpose does life have. Is there even one? If Earth were to die tomorrow and all forms of life immediately extinguised, what effect would it have on the realm of time and space? Absolutely none. And thus I can arrive only at the profound realisation that life, truly is meaningless. Life, death. Joy, misery. Delight, suffering. Tree. Flower. Mushroom. Bacteria. Human. Cat. Life. All life shares the one thing, simply being one of many. No segregation of classes for special recognition. Everything together, life and death. The stories may be different, but the path is the same. Born to die.

Hmm, don't think I'm in a good place at the moment. Think I'll invest in a punching bag, vent off some steam.

Tell me how

To the poster who posted yesterday evening but has deleted the message.

I saw your post but couldn't respond then. I hope you feel better now. Maybe if you can identify the chain of events which led to your anxiety taking over.

This might help understanding it and could help control it in future.

If you see this, you don't need to respond, I just wanted to offer you a small bit of support.

DrWu

I hear ya Jaxx. I've been struggling with existential angst since I was a kid. I remember three terrifying weeks when I was 8 when the realization hit me; panicking at night, skin crawling, etc. Once you pull that thread and follow it to the end it's pretty damn scary. My parents had to sit up with me night after night until I went to sleep. It went away for about ten or fifteen years and then came back with a vengeance. Now at 44 I sleep with the TV on to keep the thoughts at bay. Sometimes it doesn't work and the reality hits me in a wave of panic (I'm going to be gone forever and there is NOTHING I can do about it - I'll be gone, my child will be gone, then the earth will be consumed by the sun, then the universe will contract and poof, it will all eventually be gone - nothing) and I leap out of bed and pace the hall trying to physically outrun the thought. The effed up flipside of this is I also have bipolar disorder and have attempted suicide twice.

I honestly don't know what to say to you. You can intellectualize it all day and reach the same conclusion that you just did. I just decided: try not to let it paralyze you. We have this scabby bit of time on earth, and we spend so much of it scratching around doing things we hate, filling in stupid forms and ticking boxes, panicking about bills, getting threats when we forget to sign something or renew something or say something wrong. It's a short life and we have made it so ridiculous. It's the cosmic joke and humans made it up! lol. Do what you enjoy for the short time you are here and don't feel guilty about it.

Tell me how

jaxxx wrote:

The conclusion? Purpose. What purpose does life have. Is there even one? If Earth were to die tomorrow and all forms of life immediately extinguised, what effect would it have on the realm of time and space? Absolutely none..........


Born to die.

Maybe, but with the opportunity to enjoy it, the people we meet and the world we live in before we do move on. And also the opportunity to love and share the world with those using it at the same time as us.

I'm not being flippant. Everyone asks that question at some point and if you feel uncomfortable with a sense that it's pointless then it can be difficult to move past that.

Nature creates flowers which ultimately wither and die but before that, they look, smell and feel beautiful and give joy and comfort to those that can appreciate them for what they are. We could look at ourselves in a similar fashion. Who can we give joy and comfort to while we are here? If we succeed in this, then life truly has a recognizable point to it.

elvis83

Anxiety is sky high at the minute. Work place stress coupled with a physical illness. Very little sleep over the past 3 days. Have a tight ball deep in my stomach at all times.

I really hate this. Had been doing so well for so long. Had built up confidence levels and was feeling pretty good. Then it all just gets knocked back because of pressure at work.

Sorry, I'm rambling a bit, just need to get thoughts out here

Drumpot

Tell me how wrote: »

Maybe, but with the opportunity to enjoy it, the people we meet and the world we live in before we do move on. And also the opportunity to love and share the world with those using it at the same time as us.

I'm not being flippant. Everyone asks that question at some point and if you feel uncomfortable with a sense that it's pointless then it can be difficult to move past that.

Nature creates flowers which ultimately wither and die but before that, they look, smell and feel beautiful and give joy and comfort to those that can appreciate them for what they are. We could look at ourselves in a similar fashion. Who can we give joy and comfort to while we are here? If we succeed in this, then life truly has a recognizable point to it.

I agree completely.

I can go down that existential rabbit hole that doesn’t ends Up leaving we warm and fuzzy. My dads death is one that really shook me and brought death smack bang To the front of me. It had been lurking a long time , as far back as my early teens when I had that realiszation that I will one day be gone and worse still there may not be the afterlife the Catholic Church promised.

But It’s just a thought and like every thought there is a time to move on. With anxiety I find it’s my instinct is to hold the negative thoughts tightly and allow the good thoughts or feelings flutter in and out at their leisure. So I try (not always successfully) the CBT approach and try to apportion certain time to the things that make me anxious. And I try to move on by accepting that it’s gonna happen whether I think about it or not. I don’t feel intellectualising death has helped me thus far so giving it some time and then moving on helps.

In terms of trying to use it to my benefit, I try and use it to let me reflect on society and the world as we know it. I will die, so I try to look at the world from the eyes as somebody who doesn’t care about societal norms. There are so many idiotic and crazy things about the world I cannot accept and don’t agree with. There are so many things about mankind (politics, financial services industry, concept of justice) that grind my gears but I need not allow these things drive me mad. I can hone in and focus on my life and what I can to change these things and not worry about humanity. If I can influence those I care for that’s enough.

Enlightenment through philosophy and Buddhism teachings compliment my approach. I might be dubious on religion but I know I am part of nature. It’s an irrefutable truth that science wouldn’t challange. I come from the earth and I will go back into the earth. My life energy will not just disappear, it will go back to the comsos. Not perhaps what we have been promised by man made religions but it’s still my life energy carrying on in some capacity. I find reflecting on nature very relaxing and part of that is because I find many things in modern life toxic and alien to me.

Self awareness and consideration for others and your actions is not valued. Considering all sides, not just what you want, is not valued. You need only look at most people debating today’s referendum to see they don’t want to discuss the topic, they just want to argue and tell people why they are right and why anybody who thinks otherwise is wrong!! So I generally stay away from these arenas or cautiously get in and out!

This is important because my problem is that I am very sensitive , physically and emotionally. I react to things with powerful feelings. So I protect myself by trying to ground myself in nature through sitting and reading (currently a philosophical book called “the age of absurdity”). Or I try and go for a walk, usually down to the beach. Or I watch my children, dog or rabbits just naturally play. This helps separate me from the hysteria of the world for a few moments.

Wings2018

I'm from Athlone and feeling very down lately. Does anyone attend Grow Support Group. Do you find it any good

veganrun

My anxiety is kind of under control at the moment but I still overthink and worry a lot. I decided to come this weekend even though I had plans/options to do other things. I thought coming home would be good but one of my family is a bit under the weather. They were at the Dr yesterday and got some antibiotics etc but now I'm constantly thinking about it. I then went and googled stuff too which has kind of made it worse. Then I think to myself "had I just stayed in the city, I wouldn't know about this and wouldn't be worried". Why am I like this?

veganrun

Awful dose of anxiety/panic last night and into this morning, first time in months. The usual trigger as well (health anxiety). I'm absolutely wrecked now and have zero patience.

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/if-the-worst-came-to-the-worst/


Something some of you may like

stargazing123

Hey i'm not sure is this the right forum to post this in but i said i'd give it a go. I have anxiety and depression.I am also highly sensitive. Basically i've been thinking about certain things that could help me to become happier with myself and just have a positive view of things. I am doing the leaving cert in a week but i left school in january (doing the lc as external candidate). I left school because of depression. I was mentally bullied for two years by my year group (i skipped ty) . I was excluded from everything,I had no friends and on a good day one or two people would talk to me but usually nobody talked to me. I dreaded going to school in the mornings and would rather have stayed in bed but i really wanted to do the lc and just get out of the school so i went anyway. I hit rock bottom when I began having suicidal thoughts. I was prescribed antidepressants by my doctor. I'm still on them . Anyway long story short the mental bullying ruined my self esteem and confidence with socialising. I have my boyfriend to talk to though which helps a lot. I'm just wondering do any of you have suggestions on how I can improve my self esteem and just be happy in general.???? Everytime I see a picture of those girls I just burst into tears because I am reminded of how they treated me. I want that to stop and stop caring what people think. Sorry this post is so long:) Thank you .

ds4593

mg1982 wrote: »

Hi ds. Have you spoken to your doc since about hearing voices or about any medication. I know it can be pretty unsettling feeling when these hallucinations do happen. But remember it doesnt make u bad person its just the nature of the illness, stress can do terrible things.

Hi mg.

How are you getting on?

No I haven’t spoke to my doctor about it. I told my therapist about it but I only told her about the first time.

MOD edit as per charter rules

elvis83

stargazing123 wrote: »

Hey i'm not sure is this the right forum to post this in but i said i'd give it a go. I have anxiety and depression.I am also highly sensitive. Basically i've been thinking about certain things that could help me to become happier with myself and just have a positive view of things. I am doing the leaving cert in a week but i left school in january (doing the lc as external candidate). I left school because of depression. I was mentally bullied for two years by my year group (i skipped ty) . I was excluded from everything,I had no friends and on a good day one or two people would talk to me but usually nobody talked to me. I dreaded going to school in the mornings and would rather have stayed in bed but i really wanted to do the lc and just get out of the school so i went anyway. I hit rock bottom when I began having suicidal thoughts. I was prescribed antidepressants by my doctor. I'm still on them . Anyway long story short the mental bullying ruined my self esteem and confidence with socialising. I have my boyfriend to talk to though which helps a lot. I'm just wondering do any of you have suggestions on how I can improve my self esteem and just be happy in general.???? Everytime I see a picture of those girls I just burst into tears because I am reminded of how they treated me. I want that to stop and stop caring what people think. Sorry this post is so long:) Thank you .

I really feel for you. I know things seem tough at the minute but believe me it will get better.

You will get your confidence back.

You will get your self esteem back.

Tell yourself those two simple things every single day. One day those bullies will be just a tiny dot in your past that you will never really think about. You'll be a better person, and I have no doubt that they will still be the horrible people they are now, because that time of person doesn't ever learn or grow.

Please be well and look after yourself.