Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

ds4593

Looks like my last post crossed the charter rules.
For anyone who may be wondering what I said, the details don’t matter. But just for the record. I was only honestly saying what I did yesterday. I wasn’t looking for advice or help. Nor was I putting anybody in an awkward situation.

mg1982

ds4593 wrote: »

Looks like my last post crossed the charter rules.
For anyone who may be wondering what I said, the details don’t matter. But just for the record. I was only honestly saying what I did yesterday. I wasn’t looking for advice or help. Nor was I putting anybody in an awkward situation.

Hi ds i hope your in a better place now, didnt get to read your post before it was deleted. Were you able to to get to see your doctor about the voices.

cookie24

i haven't posted here in about 3 years. it was such a supportive place, so thank you all, especially hugo stiglatz.

anxiety and career still ****ed. have recently turned to drugs and alcohol to stave off anxiety. its odd, i was happy where i was but people left and you get bumped up the ladder, even though you're not capable. theres a name for that in business....people get promoted beyond their capabilities, not sure whats its called.

just a ramble.

Try_harder

The Peter Principle


Dont let it get in on you. Could you have stayed in your old position? Maybe you will do better than you think

DrWu

cookie24 wrote: »

i haven't posted here in about 3 years. it was such a supportive place, so thank you all, especially hugo stiglatz.

anxiety and career still ****ed. have recently turned to drugs and alcohol to stave off anxiety. its odd, i was happy where i was but people left and you get bumped up the ladder, even though you're not capable. theres a name for that in business....people get promoted beyond their capabilities, not sure whats its called.

just a ramble.

Always have an escape option. You may never use it but it's comforting to know it's there. Too often we feel trapped by circumstances when that really isn't the case. Would it be the end of the world if you left your job or asked to be moved to a position that suits you better? Sometimes just realizing these things takes the pressure off you. And remember, you suffer from anxiety so you have limitations. This is ok.

Tell me how

Talk of suicide will be public again for a few days. Two celebrity deaths in the last few days.

Hope the news coverage doesn't upset anyone who's feeling vulnerable.

Also being discussed is news that suicides amongst men in US are up 30% since 1999.

I wonder is there a correlation between the advent of the internet/social media and those figures?

mg1982

I dont know i think since the advent of the smartphone while they can be fantastic devices im just not sure there good for peoples mental health. They are a major distraction and disconnect ourselves from our own feelings and thoughts. In my experience anyway.

RabbleRouser2k

Tell me how wrote: »

Talk of suicide will be public again for a few days. Two celebrity deaths in the last few days.

Hope the news coverage doesn't upset anyone who's feeling vulnerable.

Also being discussed is news that suicides amongst men in US are up 30% since 1999.

I wonder is there a correlation between the advent of the internet/social media and those figures?

Possibly-but similar to here, there was a steady cut in mental health services in the US. And, one can argue, that things like 'male tears' mugs only further stigmatizes male emotions.

Yet nobody wants to discuss it. Instead, we get bandied about phrases like 'toxic masculinity' and talk of 'priviliege'... No focus on the individuals, of their s**tty circumstances.

There's an interesting thing I've seen recently in the US. It's been noted that dogs are far better at scaring off a burglar than a gun. So there's been a greater promotion of adopting a dog from a shelter over buying a gun.

Dogs are also fantastic at boosting mental health and lowering blood pressure. They even promote exercise which helps physical health too.
Many celebrities have spoken about how, at their lowest, they planned to end it all-and then the dog walked in and put their head on their knee or shoulders (Kirk Douglas spoke about this in his book, after his stroke. As did Joan Rivers, after her husband ended his life). I'm not trying to be anti-gun ownership, or pro-dog (I love all animals tbh), but rather noting just the little ways to try and help.

damianch

Glad I found this thread.

Been sufferring with depression, bipolar, arthrithis among other things for about 18 years now. Never been able to get it under control.

Dropped out of Uni twice as a result and lost my business also culminating in massive debt. Lost my mother under tragic circumstances recently (presuming an element of PTSD is playing a part) which has made me spiral deeper than before Haven't left my room in 6 days now and cannot seem to get back on track.

Tried ringing the samaritans a couple of weeks ago during the night for hours, and their number didn't seem to be working ! Emailed and had no response until the following day. Felt like a idiot . Got speaking to someone from a different agency who advised going for a walk. Made me extremely angry so just hung up.

Because I was self employed (for 3 months in 2017) my medical card was cut off and I am not entitled to social welfare. Prior to that I was a full time student. Have been to my doc who has tried to help but actually made the situation worse as he filled out certs for me which in turn had my Father's household benefits package cancelled within the space of a week and threatening letters for TV licenses arrived also. Yet I have still not heard from the social welfare re my application.

It seems that when you are at your worst there really is no one that can help. Just debt collectors looking for money, social welfare offices that don't answer or want you to go and get forms filled that involve trips to the GP (which I cannot afford to do). i've managed to get a weekly allowance from the community welfare officer , but it would barely cover the cost of the GP before food etc.

Funny thing is I am not suicidal and never have been, but I really can see how easy it would be in these situations. I am lucky I at least have a roof over my head.

Tell me how

RabbleRouser2k wrote:

Possibly-but similar to here, there was a steady cut in mental health services in the US. And, one can argue, that things like 'male tears' mugs only further stigmatizes male emotions.

Possibly, cuts certainly don't help but I really think society today creates more problems due to unintended consequences. Marketing, advertisements really enforce a constant image which can make people feel negative about their position or status. There are growing studies on the adverse affects social media has on people because of the perception it creates that everyone else is doing wonderful while they struggle.

I also think another factor in increasing suicide rates is probably more accurate cause of death assignment. It's just a thought but maybe before some deaths were identified as accidental or misadventure as opposed to self inflicted.

Tell me how

damianch wrote:

Been sufferring with depression, bipolar, arthrithis among other things for about 18 years now. Never been able to get it under control.

You've had quite the experience. Welcome.

damianch wrote:

Funny thing is I am not suicidal and never have been, but I really can see how easy it would be in these situations. I am lucky I at least have a roof over my head.

Have you had any particular success with any treatment or any periods where it lessened and you can identify a reason why?

damianch

Tell me how wrote: »

You've had quite the experience. Welcome.



Have you had any particular success with any treatment or any periods where it lessened and you can identify a reason why?

Thanks!

Yes i've had long spells whereby I have completed university , set up a business etc , but for every good thing that happens the fall off at the other side seems to be worse each time. It's hard to pinpoint the reasons why tbh, I guess that's part of the problem. I definitely have the high sides of bi-polar, but the low points are compartively worse imo.

I had wanted to try CBT instead of counselling but the doc basically said it would never happen. There doesn't seem to any counselling/ therapy services available at all. I've been with the psychatrist 3 times over the last year, and they just tweeked the meds each time, so basically I go back every 4 months and all they do is play with dosages. Frustrating as I've been like this since i was 16 years of age.

Tell me how

damianch wrote:

I had wanted to try CBT instead of counselling but the doc basically said it would never happen. There doesn't seem to any counselling/ therapy services available at all. I've been with the psychatrist 3 times over the last year, and they just tweeked the meds each time, so basically I go back every 4 months and all they do is play with dosages. Frustrating as I've been like this since i was 16 years of age.

Yes, mental health care on public health system is very poor.

Private care is expensive, but can be worth it.
I suspect funds are tight. I wonder, would it help to start a saving just for cbt therapy. If you were in a slightly (or better) positive phase and also working, do you think you could put money towards maybe X number of sessions.

I suggest this for 3 reasons.
A - having a plan however long term might give you a positive sense that you're taking control thus helping you in the interim.
B - having such a valid reason to save might be a positive motivation on the work front.
C - even if it took 2 years to save, that's better than the not at all on the public system.

Easier said than done of course.

damianch

Tell me how wrote: »

You've had quite the experience. Welcome.



Have you had any particular success with any treatment or any periods where it lessened and you can identify a reason why?

Tell me how wrote: »

Yes, mental health care on public health system is very poor.

Private care is expensive, but can be worth it.
I suspect funds are tight. I wonder, would it help to start a saving just for cbt therapy. If you were in a slightly (or better) positive phase and also working, do you think you could put money towards maybe X number of sessions.

I suggest this for 3 reasons.
A - having a plan however long term might give you a positive sense that you're taking control thus helping you in the interim.
B - having such a valid reason to save might be a positive motivation on the work front.
C - even if it took 2 years to save, that's better than the not at all on the public system.

Easier said than done of course.

Yes I can see the logic to this. And I will seek out private CBT , it just hasn't been on the priorty list of late as Im unable to work and awaiting social welfare payment or disability allowance application to be acknowledged, but that has been since January when I applied and I am waiting since then. Only income now is from Community Welfare Officer and most of that covers food/bills and trying to get accounts done by accountant from when I was self employed so I can wind the company up. Been to Mabs etc

Medical Card people looked for End of Year Company accounts even thought the company was new and only traded 3 months and accounts weren't due for 12 months. Accountant was looking for full payment before they be done. Medical Card was cut off, despite it still being valid for another year.

Social Welfare I applied for in Jan wrote to me in March to say I was 1 credit short for receiving a payment. However that was because I was in Uni and they didn't take into account 2017 because P60 hadnt been issued. So I sent off the P60 showing I have more than enough credits, but they havent come back to me and its now June. Have spent about 130 euro just trying to ring them and speak to someone .

Tell me how

damianch wrote:

Social Welfare I applied for in Jan wrote to me in March to say I was 1 credit short for receiving a payment. However that was because I was in Uni and they didn't take into account 2017 because P60 hadnt been issued. So I sent off the P60 showing I have more than enough credits, but they havent come back to me and its now June. Have spent about 130 euro just trying to ring them and speak to someone .

Most case officers don't want to deny somebody what they're entitled to, it's just sometimes there's confusion.

Go in to your local intreo office. Be polite, have your forms, have your list of questions. And don't waste your breath arguing with the wrong person ie (administrator at front desk).

damianch

Tell me how wrote: »

Most case officers don't want to deny somebody what they're entitled to, it's just sometimes there's confusion.

Go in to your local intreo office. Be polite, have your forms, have your list of questions. And don't waste your breath arguing with the wrong person ie (administrator at front desk).

Because of where I live all claims for Disability go to Dublin and must be done over the phone. (Sorry if I sound pedantic, but thats just how it is. The local intreo centre near me are really nice and helpful, but said there is no point in meeting anyone there as I would have to talk to the people in Dublin)

I will ring them again on Monday though as it seems to be a long time with no correspondence.

Just with the depression etc, it's hard to try and start on a new task when things like this are outstanding. It's all I can think about and is draining.

Tell me how

damianch wrote:

Just with the depression etc, it's hard to try and start on a new task when things like this are outstanding. It's all I can think about and is draining.

Draining is the word. You know what you want to do, you know how to do it, you know it needs to be done and yet, you might not do it because you didn't get up for 2 days. Very very demoralising.

Hopefully you'll get somewhere with social. Maybe, if you do get them on the phone, you ask for a face to face and travel to Dublin.

Gremlinertia

Wow Damianch, well, welcome to the thread anyway, what a rigmarole. The delays in both the health and social welfare system are incredible and have definitely exacerbated my own issues.. You sound like you have as much done as possible i just hope things sort themselves soon in those regards. Being able to concentrate on yourself will be so helpful.
Doing not so great myself, though i'm working so there's that..

damianch

Tell me how wrote: »

Draining is the word. You know what you want to do, you know how to do it, you know it needs to be done and yet, you might not do it because you didn't get up for 2 days. Very very demoralising.

Hopefully you'll get somewhere with social. Maybe, if you do get them on the phone, you ask for a face to face and travel to Dublin.

It's more couldn't get up rather than didn't. And it's been 6 days now ! Yes that wouldn't be a bad idea. Thanks for some great advice all the same. greatly appreciated

damianch

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Wow Damianch, well, welcome to the thread anyway, what a rigmarole. The delays in both the health and social welfare system are incredible and have definitely exacerbated my own issues.. You sound like you have as much done as possible i just hope things sort themselves soon in those regards. Being able to concentrate on yourself will be so helpful.
Doing not so great myself, though i'm working so there's that..

Thank you!

Yes the delays on welfare side seems to exacerbate the mental health issues massively. It's a situation that can only get better.

It must be so hard to work as well as managing everything? I thought working for myself would help, but did the opposite.

linpoo

damianch wrote: »

Thanks!

Yes i've had long spells whereby I have completed university , set up a business etc , but for every good thing that happens the fall off at the other side seems to be worse each time. It's hard to pinpoint the reasons why tbh, I guess that's part of the problem. I definitely have the high sides of bi-polar, but the low points are compartively worse imo.

I had wanted to try CBT instead of counselling but the doc basically said it would never happen. There doesn't seem to any counselling/ therapy services available at all. I've been with the psychatrist 3 times over the last year, and they just tweeked the meds each time, so basically I go back every 4 months and all they do is play with dosages. Frustrating as I've been like this since i was 16 years of age.

Aware do CBT courses all over the country for €20. They run over a few weeks.....in case you are interested.

damianch

linpoo wrote: »

Aware do CBT courses all over the country for €20. They run over a few weeks.....in case you are interested.

That sounds great! I have just emailed there. thanks a million

linpoo

damianch wrote: »

That sounds great! I have just emailed there. thanks a million

It's called lifeskills group meeting. Looks to be €30 now unless unemployed etc but it's refundable.
I did it a few years ago, found it very beneficial.

damianch

linpoo wrote: »

It's called lifeskills group meeting. Looks to be €30 now unless unemployed etc but it's refundable.
I did it a few years ago, found it very beneficial.

Just looked into and seemingly it is not suitable for someone who has suffered a recent bereavement . But I will keep looking ! thanks again for the advice

Tell me how

damianch wrote:

Just looked into and seemingly it is not suitable for someone who has suffered a recent bereavement . But I will keep looking ! thanks again for the advice

Still talk to them.

I'd imagine that that might be there as people who have never suffered with depression before need a different type of therapy than cbt but you're a long term sufferer who just happens to also have recently experienced a bereavement.

The reasons you have for considering cbt precede the bereavement. If I understand you correctly.

damianch

Tell me how wrote: »

The reasons you have for considering cbt precede the bereavement. If I understand you correctly.

Yes good point! I have emailed them anyway and will explain the situation

RabbleRouser2k

Tell me how wrote: »

Possibly, cuts certainly don't help but I really think society today creates more problems due to unintended consequences. Marketing, advertisements really enforce a constant image which can make people feel negative about their position or status. There are growing studies on the adverse affects social media has on people because of the perception it creates that everyone else is doing wonderful while they struggle.

I also think another factor in increasing suicide rates is probably more accurate cause of death assignment. It's just a thought but maybe before some deaths were identified as accidental or misadventure as opposed to self inflicted.

Certainly worth looking into. I know that social media, advertising etc can create this false sense of 'everyones lives are better than mine' ...and certainly some recent suicides showed this. I thought Anthony Bourdain had a great life-I was wrong, for sure on that one. I also think he may have felt he 'couldn't talk' because his girlfriend, Asia Argento, was going through some bad stuff herself. But that sums up Mental illness-it's biological, beyond someone's control.

The cause of death...I know there were car accidents that are now believed to be suicides. And I definitely believe we're not getting the correct suicide rates or depression rates for women.
There's always been ignorance towards mental illness--the 'get over it' mentality.

damianch

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

The cause of death...I know there were car accidents that are now believed to be suicides. And I definitely believe we're not getting the correct suicide rates or depression rates for women.
There's always been ignorance towards mental illness--the 'get over it' mentality.

I think you raised a great point. So many suicides go un/mis recorded for a plethora or reasons.

But I also think the advertising of availabilty of supports for those with mental illness and the pleas by agencies/celebs/schools etc to "Speak Out" is often over advertised and suggests so many supports are available if one should just lift the phone or speak to someone. When in practice this is far from the truth.

There is no joined up thinking when it comes to mental health services, social welfare services etc. Counselling is virtually no existant via the HSE and must be provided by external charities.

I often wondered when listening to the debates on the 8th amendment , how women in need of such immediate & prerequisite counselling will be able to avail of these services , yet those who are in danger of harm or suicide can rarely be accommodated within the current system for months if at all.

Advertising availability of mental health services is great the existence of them is questionable

I'm not sure if it is actually on the rise or if it is a case of there being more reporting. However I do believe that social media creates a disconnect from ourselves and each other. Living life through selfies and status updates can be a way of distracting and moving away from who you are. Getting caught up in how others perceive you, constant comparisons etc. This will eat away at your self-esteem if you aren't careful.

Certainly mental illness is not just biological and there can be a myriad of reasons why a person finds themselves so unwell that they contemplate ending it all. That deep despair can get in to your bones and become part of your identity. How does one go about challenging that? Stripping away all of the toxic pieces to get to the person underneath? This is difficult stuff and I don't think there are any easy explainations or solutions. One person has the resilience to keep going in the face of loss, abuse, illness yet another says goodbye because their business went under.

What we can do is look at how we cope with life. Do we have people who we can rely on, are there things we like to do, what gives us happiness, who do we love, are we able to appreciate the life we have, see the good. If we have foundation blocks already in place, giving us strength, then it will be far easier to get through. We find ourselves with our own internal anchor. That's the key I think. That no matter what happens, who comes or goes, you can remain your own anchor.

Just on the lack of services, while absolutely there are huge problems with mental health care providers in this country, something which is rarely mentioned are the amount of appointments given which are not attended.