Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

damianch

Deleted User wrote: »

Just on the lack of services, while absolutely there are huge problems with mental health care providers in this country, something which is rarely mentioned are the amount of appointments given which are not attended.

I don't think I've seen any figures specifically on mental health, but I know it is around 13% across the HSE in general. One would think with such a huge amount of no shows, appointments would be booked to 110% just as large hotels do with rooms as they know they will have no shows all the time . And at least with appointments , the doc can stay on late on the off chance 5 people turn up instead of 4, with hotels if 110% of people show up you are screwed!

damianch

damianch wrote: »

I don't think I've seen any figures specifically on mental health, but I know it is around 13% across the HSE in general. One would think with such a huge amount of no shows, appointments would be booked to 110% just as large hotels do with rooms as they know they will have no shows all the time . And at least with appointments , the doc can stay on late on the off chance 5 people turn up instead of 4, with hotels if 110% of people show up you are screwed!

I don't know the figures at all but am aware of a few Dublin based private and low cost therapy centres with regular no shows. They make an appointment to see a therapist but don't turn up. That is a slot somebody else could have used. Having been through therapy myself I know it's a big commitment but many don't see this and take an easy come easy go approach.

damianch

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't know the figures at all but am aware of a few Dublin based private and low cost therapy centres with regular no shows. They make an appointment to see a therapist but don't turn up. That is a slot somebody else could have used. Having been through therapy myself I know it's a big commitment but many don't see this and take an easy come easy go approach.

I'd politely disagree having missed many appointments myself. It's not done out of badness, laziness or disregard. Sometimes with depression it can be so bad you can't pick up the phone to cancel because the thoughts of talking someone is so bad. Or what would happen often in my case would be that because my sleep was so interrupted during bad spells, I would try stay awake all night in fear of missing an appointment and then to fall into a deep sleep at 7am.

A common problem I have is that if I have something at 9am the next morning, I get so anxious the night before I cannot sleep and by 2/3am I fear falling asleep as I know I could deep sleep for 12 hours.

Unfortunately its par for the course and part of the illness.

I defintely didn't see it as easy come easy go, and would often find it difficult to attend the follow as a result of the guilt of missing the last appointment .

I understand that. It can be difficult. I found ways that helped such as texting the therapist if I wasn't up to talking or making sure my alarm was set, more than one if necessary so I would be up in time. Thing is that there is another person who we will be impacting by not showing up and that's the therapist. Mine made sure to be there for me and had rent to pay on a room, and time set aside, travel done. Even when I couldn't motivate myself to brush my teeth I got to my appointments.

That was my experience though and I know that the nature of the beast impacts in different ways. It's just important I think to be mindful of others too and respect their time.

Dragons

I had a bad reaction to an ssri and thought I had lost my mind.i repeatedly went to psych ward begging for help and was turned away.a psychiatrist actually told me to come back for help if I ever write a suicide note.then they would take me in.my gp was no help,actually got angry and sent me away.

It took me months to realise I had constant 24/7
Derealization from anxiety.i had it for 7 months straight.complete change in perception,disconnection from reality.doctors would not even acknowledge this so I felt very alone with no one to turn to.

If I didn't have kids I don't know what road I could have went down,but I do so I stayed the course.

My derealization finally went about 2 month's ago.i now have constant anxiety but after what I have been through panic attacks are the lesser of 2 evils.

I'm currently tapering off benzos and gave up smoking 9 days ago.my family got me through the last 10 months

My main point is that I felt alone with no one to turn to.mental health services need to be greatly improved in my opinion.

mg1982

Dragons wrote: »

I had a bad reaction to an ssri and thought I had lost my mind.i repeatedly went to psych ward begging for help and was turned away.a psychiatrist actually told me to come back for help if I ever write a suicide note.then they would take me in.my gp was no help,actually got angry and sent me away.

It took me months to realise I had constant 24/7
Derealization from anxiety.i had it for 7 months straight.complete change in perception,disconnection from reality.doctors would not even acknowledge this so I felt very alone with no one to turn to.

If I didn't have kids I don't know what road I could have went down,but I do so I stayed the course.

My derealization finally went about 2 month's ago.i now have constant anxiety but after what I have been through panic attacks are the lesser of 2 evils.

I'm currently tapering off benzos and gave up smoking 9 days ago.my family got me through the last 10 months

My main point is that I felt alone with no one to turn to.mental health services need to be greatly improved in my opinion.

That must have been an awful experience for you and it just shows when someone is really in a crisis with there mental health the services can be shocking at times. Im glad you pulled through derealisation is very unpleasant.

WinnyThePoo

I've had huge problems with the hse. I've had good communication with charitable people like good samaratans and pieta House. I can't thank them enough.

When I tried to take my life. I survived. The nearest appointment to a doctor was a month fine, the hospital allowed me to leave the hozpital suicidal.

Anyway I tried to check in to a in patient facility, no beds. Come back next day, and I was assured there would be a bed for. No bed, I don't like being told stuff like that. So I'm left leave completly suicidal, not asked how I'm getting home. Hospital is the countryside.

The doctor assured she would move my meeting with an outpatient centre forward. This was a plea by me. No one called a about a meeting. I had to contact the outpatient place (no clue who I was) but and the inpatient place, (a nurse told the inpatient centre had nothing to do with outpatient)this continued on.being a promised a meeting with a doctor in outpatient place. No call to confirm meeting, find out not meeting was made. This happened three times in a space of a week and a half. I was pleading for help. I was ignored. Eventually, I got through to a head guy there, told him what had happened and he hung up on me. I wasn't loud or anything.they didn't ring me back an certainly.


Anyway that doctor who told me she booked me into the outpatient had told me to stop my medication and i would be prescribed a new set of medication. I cancelled my prescription as asked. No meeting never occurred and I ran out of my medication, thankfully my pharmacy where able to sort me out.

There lack of help is painful, I worry any young people

Wanderer78

WinnyThePoo wrote:

There lack of help is painful, I worry any young people

Thank you for sharing your story, and I wish you a speedy recovery, yup our mental health services are in crisis, we must look after one another as best as we can

damianch

WinnyThePoo wrote: »

I've had huge problems with the hse. I've had good communication with charitable people like good samaratans and pieta House. I can't thank them enough.

When I tried to take my life. I survived. The nearest appointment to a doctor was a month fine, the hospital allowed me to leave the hozpital suicidal.

Anyway I tried to check in to a in patient facility, no beds. Come back next day, and I was assured there would be a bed for. No bed, I don't like being told stuff like that. So I'm left leave completly suicidal, not asked how I'm getting home. Hospital is the countryside.

The doctor assured she would move my meeting with an outpatient centre forward. This was a plea by me. No one called a about a meeting. I had to contact the outpatient place (no clue who I was) but and the inpatient place, (a nurse told the inpatient centre had nothing to do with outpatient)this continued on.being a promised a meeting with a doctor in outpatient place. No call to confirm meeting, find out not meeting was made. This happened three times in a space of a week and a half. I was pleading for help. I was ignored. Eventually, I got through to a head guy there, told him what had happened and he hung up on me. I wasn't loud or anything.they didn't ring me back an certainly.


Anyway that doctor who told me she booked me into the outpatient had told me to stop my medication and i would be prescribed a new set of medication. I cancelled my prescription as asked. No meeting never occurred and I ran out of my medication, thankfully my pharmacy where able to sort me out.

There lack of help is painful, I worry any young people

How and where are you now ?

This is horrnedous and exactly what I have been saying about lots of ads of help, but nothing actually there.

*modsnip*

I know things are so ****, and everyone is letting you down. I do feel the same. But put your chin up and remember you were someones little boy one day.

No matter how bad things seem right now, you will have some great fun years in the future. *modsnip*

damianch

damianch wrote: »

How and where are you now ?

This is horrnedous and exactly what I have been saying about lots of ads of help, but nothing actually there.

*modsnip*

I know things are so ****, and everyone is letting you down. I do feel the same. But put your chin up and remember you were someones little boy one day.

No matter how bad things seem right now, you will have some great fun years in the future. *modsnip*

I know you are trying to help but you can't make such a promise to a person who you know nothing about and you can't expect them to promise the same. It's not fair.

damianch

Deleted User wrote: »

I know you are trying to help but you can't make such a promise to a person who you know nothing about and you can't expect them to promise the same. It's not fair.

Hey persepoly,

I didn't reply to you the other day because I didnt agree with you. I found your response crass, cold and irrelavant . It was like getting a reply from someone pretending to be depressed.

I scrolled back months and years in this forum and found the same. You have an opinion that is strict, yet depression isnt like that.

You told me the other day that basically I should make more of an effort if I am going to miss a coucilling session... Oh I never thought of that.. I should text them you say? What is this text message you speak of. God if only text existed when I was depressed.

I am sure you are great intentioned, but don't tell me what I can and cannot do when you are dropping bat crazy stuff and doing it for years having scrolled back on this forum in all fairness.

I will carry through on what I say, you will just say things that have no academic or medical meaning



I am not sure who you are, and I am not sure who has given you an almighty power to say what I can do or not do.

damianch

damianch wrote: »

Hey persepoly,

I didn't reply to you the other day because I didnt agree with you. I found your response crass, cold and irrelavant . It was like getting a reply from someone pretending to be depressed.

I scrolled back months and years in this forum and found the same. You have an opinion that is strict, yet depression isnt like that.

You told me the other day that basically I should make more of an effort if I am going to miss a coucilling session... Oh I never thought of that.. I should text them you say? What is this text message you speak of. God if only text existed when I was depressed.

I am sure you are great intentioned, but don't tell me what I can and cannot do when you are dropping bat crazy stuff and doing it for years having scrolled back on this forum in all fairness.

I will carry through on what I say, you will just say things that have no academic or medical meaning



I am not sure who you are, and I am not sure who has given you an almighty power to say what I can do or not do.

Thank you for taking such an interest in my posting history. You are of course entitled to your opinion. As are we all. There are vulnerable people on this forum. Some more so than others. My views are based on years of struggle. Please don't make assumptions. The best of luck to you.

Tell me how

damianch wrote:

I didn't reply to you the other day because I didnt agree with you. I found your response crass, cold and irrelavant . It was like getting a reply from someone pretending to be depressed.

damianch, this is a place of support for anyone who wants to join in. But it is not a substitute for professional help and even professionals who post here (and there are some from time to time) recognize that there is only so much that can be done via a public forum.

I must disagree with your assessment of another posters motivations as they too are trying to help.

I hope you get a benefit from joining in here but it's one forum where aggressive arguing or dismissal really doesn't help.

We aren't all going to agree all the time, but another poster might benefit from what someone else has said.

Kurtosis

Mod note

damianch - your last post is not on. The forum charter asks posters to "Please be courteous, civil and post in a constructive way" which you are in breach of. Discussions/debates are fine to have but if these aren't conducted in a respectful manner on this forum, posting rights will be removed. In addition, please be aware that offers of off-thread or offline supports are not permitted, as outlined in the charter. Please read the forum charter before posting again. Do not respond on thread, please PM me/the other mods if you have any queries.

To everyone - lets leave it at that and get back on-topic. Please remember to report any posts which breach the forum charter rather than responding on thread.

Kurt

Dragons

If anyone has read my post I didn't mean to make it so negative.this should be a good place for us to go for reassurance and support.

I'd like to say that I've been through a lot but I am through the worst of it even though it's a daily struggle.

Although I was very unlucky with the help I got,other people I know found they got help and reassurance from the mental health system.

Best wishes to everyone that's fighting the good fight.

mg1982

Dragons wrote: »

If anyone has read my post I didn't mean to make it so negative.this should be a good place for us to go for reassurance and support.

I'd like to say that I've been through a lot but I am through the worst of it even though it's a daily struggle.

Although I was very unlucky with the help I got,other people I know found they got help and reassurance from the mental health system.

Best wishes to everyone that's fighting the good fight.

This is true too the health service is not all bad its just been under resourced for decades and not prioritised by government. There should be a certain standard of service that people can expect when they need it and enough beds in pysch hospitals.

milli milli

Hello I would just like to add a post that might be helpful to others and give some encouragement.

I've had depression since my teens and the last few years (I'm early 40s) I would have some bad episodes at least a few times a year, and especially at Christmas (which is tough because I adore Christmas).

I have a 'one day at a time' attitude about depression because when I'm in a positive mood, I can't imagine how I would go 'back down there' again, but yet I often find myself back down in that deep, dark, desperate hole.
So the reason I am writing this is that I have managed to keep out of that hole for a good 6 months (including having a lovely Christmas).
Nothing external has changed - I didn't get married, or win the lottery, or have a baby! But I changed a few things about myself and reinforced other things in my life. So I would like to share these with you and hopefully it might help someone else.

I gave up alcohol. I wasn't a heavy drinker at all, but after having one ugly hangover too many, I decided to remove this 'poison' from my life. I know that might sound extreme but alcohol is a depressant and a hangover is the last thing a depressed person should contend with. I don't miss it really. I drink caffeine instead and I get a much nicer high from it. Also it is such a great feeling to have a clear head all the time.

I really focused on my health - balanced nutrition and regular exercise. I was always fairly healthy but really being mindful about it is great for keeping your mind focused.

I started a morning routine that I enjoy. Your routine can be anything (I just do stretching/workout/yoga and make a healthy breakfast) but it is such a powerful addition to my life. I have a REASON to get up and I look forward to it. (I do have a job but I'm self-emplyed). I am trying to get as flexible as I can and this routine helps me with this goal. Maybe your routine can involve reading or meditating or a morning run or whatever you really enjoy?

I try and practice gratitude as much as I can. I think everyone knows how transformative this can be. Also feeling thanks for the simple things in life that we all have - sunshine on your face, air in your lungs, hearing the birds singing, seeing the beautiful flowers growing.

I avoid drama and conflicts as much as I can and try and keep a peaceful life. And I no longer bother with Facebook if I can help it.
Also I try and plan things in the future to look forward to.

Apart from that there has been a few bad days where I could feel myself slipping but practicing all the above things has given me the mental strength to stop it in its tracks.
Also I try to see the positive side of a negative situation.

Now I know next week I could be back at square one, as I said, it's a 'one day at a time' thing, but personally I feel mentally strong and I thought I wouldn't be able to say that about myself. I hope this post gives encouragement to some of you going through a hard time.

Try_harder

Anxiety levels through the roof today 😞

theblacknight

Try_harder wrote: »

Anxiety levels through the roof today 😞

Have you looked into meditation at all? I found it helped me a lot... it's not a quick or easy solution, but it makes a difference and has many other benefits.


I actually just wrote a blog post on this yesterday, you might find something useful in there.

Changingtime

Hi all,

Long time GAD sufferer. Have been on varied medication (seroxat/paxil, lexapro/escitalopram, inderal/propanolol) but nothing has really worked for me. Counselling and CBT and meditation tried too with limited success. I exercise and diet well.. have a stressful job and busy homelife but no more than most.

The only thing that has worked for me is xanax/benzos (and when I say they work, they make me calm, focussed, able to work and communicate effectively, happy and positive, energised- a godsend!). My GP like many others not keen on benzos other than for emergencies and obviously i can't rely on this for long term management. But they make me realise what life could be like without the constant anxiety so naturally I want to feel that freedom more.

Not looking for medical advice (of course) but am looking for anyone's experiences with real experts in ireland in this mental health area (who are they!) who might be able to help me with a more appropriate medical solution to compliment my exercise and CBT efforts.

As great as my GP is, he is simply not an expert in the field and my research over the years seems to educate him if anything. I am happy to pay for a private psychiatrist if I can get referral / appt) but want to make sure I get someone who really knows this area well, knowing it will cost a bunch too!

So fed up with GAD and want to sort once and for all. Would MASSIVELY appreciate your input!

mg1982

I have never been down the private route myself so i dont know any docs who specialise in GAD. But you will find it very hard to get any doc to perscribe benzos over a long period of time because of there addictive nature. Because we live on a small island country we dont have that kind of cutting edge expertise as you might find in larger nations when it comes to treatment of mental health. In my opinion anyway.

Changingtime

mg1982 wrote: »

I have never been down the private route myself so i dont know any docs who specialise in GAD. But you will find it very hard to get any doc to perscribe benzos over a long period of time because of there addictive nature. Because we live on a small island country we dont have that kind of cutting edge expertise as you might find in larger nations when it comes to treatment of mental health. In my opinion anyway.

Thanks. Not looking for benzos at all- just for an expert to help work with me to see if ssri/ssni/beta blockers or anything else might help.

wexie

Changingtime wrote: »

Hi all,

Long time GAD sufferer. Have been on varied medication (seroxat/paxil, lexapro/escitalopram, inderal/propanolol) but nothing has really worked for me. Counselling and CBT and meditation tried too with limited success. I exercise and diet well.. have a stressful job and busy homelife but no more than most.

The only thing that has worked for me is xanax/benzos (and when I say they work, they make me calm, focussed, able to work and communicate effectively, happy and positive, energised- a godsend!). My GP like many others not keen on benzos other than for emergencies and obviously i can't rely on this for long term management. But they make me realise what life could be like without the constant anxiety so naturally I want to feel that freedom more.

Not looking for medical advice (of course) but am looking for anyone's experiences with real experts in ireland in this mental health area (who are they!) who might be able to help me with a more appropriate medical solution to compliment my exercise and CBT efforts.

As great as my GP is, he is simply not an expert in the field and my research over the years seems to educate him if anything. I am happy to pay for a private psychiatrist if I can get referral / appt) but want to make sure I get someone who really knows this area well, knowing it will cost a bunch too!

So fed up with GAD and want to sort once and for all. Would MASSIVELY appreciate your input!

Depending on where you are in the country you could try a Dean clinic. The waiting lists are pretty long though (think 2+ months) but from what I understand they are all very very experienced psychiatrists, most of whom (I think) spend their time between hospitals and the Dean clinic.

jaxxx

Life is.... funny. Not the obvious 'haha' funny (obviously), more the 'odd' kinda funny. Ya know? Few weeks back something snapped and I started caring again. Started eating healthily, started to go for walks every day even just 30 minutes. Few weeks later.... all that positive thinking is seeping away as quickly as it came. The bloody heat isn't helping either, if anything it's p!ssing me off even more.

DrWu

Anyone been on Lamictal (Lamotrigine)? This rash of doom thing scares the sheet out of me.

stargazing123

jaxxx wrote: »

Life is.... funny. Not the obvious 'haha' funny (obviously), more the 'odd' kinda funny. Ya know? Few weeks back something snapped and I started caring again. Started eating healthily, started to go for walks every day even just 30 minutes. Few weeks later.... all that positive thinking is seeping away as quickly as it came. The bloody heat isn't helping either, if anything it's p!ssing me off even more.

I know what you mean. I get those moments where one week I'm working out five days a week, eating protein foods, loads of fruit, living healthy and then on one day I just feel pissed off. I just want to stay in bed all day and do nothing. It's normal to get like that just keep doing things that lift Ur mood. I find that with all the lovely weather we're getting that just lying out the back sunbathing while listening to music makes me instantly feel much happier in myself.

mg1982

DrWu wrote: »

Anyone been on Lamictal (Lamotrigine)? This rash of doom thing scares the sheet out of me.

I was on it for a few months the rash thing is very rare. They start you off on very low dose and you work up gradually week by week. Some people it really helps so its worth a go.

Graces7

jaxxx wrote: »

Life is.... funny. Not the obvious 'haha' funny (obviously), more the 'odd' kinda funny. Ya know? Few weeks back something snapped and I started caring again. Started eating healthily, started to go for walks every day even just 30 minutes. Few weeks later.... all that positive thinking is seeping away as quickly as it came. The bloody heat isn't helping either, if anything it's p!ssing me off even more.

Same here; I find too that mood and energy have their own rhythms. I have M.e Just enjoy the better ties and avoid doing too much in them.. if you do too much? agree re the heat but many are loving i t

DrWu

mg1982 wrote: »

I was on it for a few months the rash thing is very rare. They start you off on very low dose and you work up gradually week by week. Some people it really helps so its worth a go.

Thanks for that. My Psych started me on 25mgs, going up to 50 after 2 weeks, then 100. I thought the initial dose of 25mgs was quite high - I've heard of people who were started on as low as 5mgs.

ds4593

Making absolutely no progress with therapy. It actually feels like every step I take forward I take two steps back.
I’m at the max dose of yet another medication and like all the rest it does nothing.
I now have very severe body scars trying to deal with suicidal intentions and even a recent attempt that only my therapist knows about.
Oh yeah, and then there is the ever increasing voice in my head issuing aggressive commands at me.
My wife doesn’t want to let me out of her sight in case I do something, but at the same time I’m convinced that she hates everything about me.