Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Gremlinertia

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

You sure you don't mean 'Brintellix'? There might be a generic form of it, in the chemist, which can be cheaper. Similar to all the generic 'Fluoxetine' brands out there.

It was only approved (in America at least) a few years ago so generics won't be available for some years yet. Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4296590/
Two of my friends are on it however their respective doctors asked specifically if they were on medical cards before prescribing because of the expense

cristali

Had my app yesterday, I have to say she's brilliant, I should've never stopped 4 years ago to go to her, been sleeping most of yesterday and today, I feel so tired although I'm not doing anything unusual. She gave me a relaxation cd, to do a list with 10 treats I do for myself without costing any money and she told me to eat coz I wasn't eating in a couple of days, was feeling nausea only thinking about food . . Is this common ?

RabbleRouser2k

cristali wrote: »

Had my app yesterday, I have to say she's brilliant, I should've never stopped 4 years ago to go to her, been sleeping most of yesterday and today, I feel so tired although I'm not doing anything unusual. She gave me a relaxation cd, to do a list with 10 treats I do for myself without costing any money and she told me to eat coz I wasn't eating in a couple of days, was feeling nausea only thinking about food . . Is this common ?

Yep-it's pretty common, not eating I mean. At my worst, I was often on one meal a day. Or I could lose my appetite after cooking the food, and just nibble on it.

Shpud2

After feeling a lot better for a week or two I've finally come back down to earth. Feel like I'm no good at my job. Like I'll never be loved. Like I'll never be good enough. Can't sleep so just got these thoughts for company

Gremlinertia

I hear ya Shpud, endless cycles.. Sometimes i manage to ruin my mood or day just by thinking that i'll be down again. I hope you get some sleep.

LonelyBoy84

Last few days I’ve been pretty good. Not getting real anxious, mind feeling quite quiet. Not feeling totally calm/happy, but at least close to normal. **** sleep last night. Woke up this morning anxious as hell & burst into tears I’m so sick of this

DrWu

Starting a new job in October. I haven't worked since having a breakdown in January. It's only part-time and one I should be delighted to have - but I'm up the walls. I cant sleep, my hands are shaking and I wake up and go to sleep worrying about it. Back in foul humour at home as well. So unlike me. I was always so confident.

cristali

LonelyBoy84 wrote: »

Last few days I’ve been pretty good. Not getting real anxious, mind feeling quite quiet. Not feeling totally calm/happy, but at least close to normal. **** sleep last night. Woke up this morning anxious as hell & burst into tears I’m so sick of this

Same here, had a pretty good afternoon/evening yesterday then went to bed and had ****e dreams and woke up feeling ****e, went for a walk with my dog and now going again for another walk, took half of xanax to clear my head a bit, I cried a bit. I completely understand you being sick of this

Trebor176

Friday night went well enough. It was nice to spend the time with friends, those that didn't go up to the singles night part.

Three of the singles night organisers (three girls) have been good friends of mine, but two still won't even a knowledge me. One of them gave me a big hug, and at the end of the night, and told me she didn't hold a grudge. One wasn't there, and the other ignored me.

A guy they are very close to, and had been a friend of mine too completely blanked me, and acknowledged the few sitting around me. This was picked up on, and they know the story. It was deemed unfair, even though I am partially at fault for what happened!

I met a few yesterday evening for a game of crazy golf. It is rare for me to be out for two nights in a row, but I had a great time. It gave me a chance to get to know a few I hadn't otherwise chatted to at length before.

We met up with others in town after. The guy from Friday made a brief appearance, again not even acknowledging me. He had told one or two others about me, and how I had more or less messed around a girl we know. Sort of true, but I dodged a bullet!

Nobody else has any issue with me. I get on great with those that I do know from the groups. However, it is not pleasant hearing about events, or a group that I have been excluded from. Because I am no longer in a particular group, I am not told of social gatherings. It is all a bit OTT, as this has been going on for the last couple of months.

Despite trying to rectify things, it hasn't helped! Others think it is ridiculous the way I am being treated. But, I can't stop them from socialising with those that are against me.

Overall, despite some worries during the week about Friday, I have had two great nights out with friends. I am putting on a brave face about the others I have fallen out with saying that I more or less couldn't give a toss. However, inside, it gets to me still.

LonelyBoy84

I’m so much worse in the morning. Are other people the same?

cristali

I'm the same, I find mornings difficult, I'm struggling with my own thoughts, worries, I listen to mindfulness, but I'm just one day in. I'm dreading this week coming coz I'm gonna be by myself at home until 3 when I collect my son from school.

LonelyBoy84

The mindfulness is good & deffo helps. But I used to wake up and be pretty happy (especially if I didn’t have work to go to!) Now I’m anxious & find it near impossible to get up during the week!

titan18

I find nights are worse than mornings tbh. Mornings I'm too tired to even think about it.

RabbleRouser2k

titan18 wrote: »

I find nights are worse than mornings tbh. Mornings I'm too tired to even think about it.

Nights sort of allow me to vent, mornings are a total b!tch to me. Always have been.

I'm a night owl, which is a habit I wish I could break, but it's ingrained in me. From working late hours, to being a carer.

twirlagig

Hi all, after what is probably about 2 years or so of not feeling myself I finally broke down in a visit to my doctor today. Was only meant to be there for a blood pressure check up, but a co-worker advised me yesterday to just let the doctor know how I was really feeling inside.
I had just sat down and she asked me how I’ve been feeling since last visit and I just broke down and said I’m really not ok. It took a lot to blurt out everything to her... she let me talk and listened properly to me.
She was kinda against prescribing me something and suggested counseling instead. I really don’t feel able to open up to anyone fully in the present state I’m in and told her so. So, she has prescribed 50mg Seretral a day, with a review in a month from today.
I’m ok with that, will see how it goes and if these tablets help to keep the edge off a bit, I think I’ll feel more like opening up to someone then. Just for now, I want a bit of relief.
I’ve been reading this thread for months, so for the first time I’m just saying hello

Tell me how

twirlagig wrote: »

Hi all, after what is probably about 2 years or so of not feeling myself I finally broke down in a visit to my doctor today. Was only meant to be there for a blood pressure check up, but a co-worker advised me yesterday to just let the doctor know how I was really feeling inside.
I had just sat down and she asked me how I’ve been feeling since last visit and I just broke down and said I’m really not ok. It took a lot to blurt out everything to her... she let me talk and listened properly to me.
She was kinda against prescribing me something and suggested counseling instead. I really don’t feel able to open up to anyone fully in the present state I’m in and told her so. So, she has prescribed 50mg Seretral a day, with a review in a month from today.
I’m ok with that, will see how it goes and if these tablets help to keep the edge off a bit, I think I’ll feel more like opening up to someone then. Just for now, I want a bit of relief.
I’ve been reading this thread for months, so for the first time I’m just saying hello

Hello and welcome. Sounds like you have a good GP. Some rush to throw meds at the patient too quickly in my view. Hopefully the Seretral will get you through this period so ye can both consider more permanent treatment whether that be meds or otherwise.

Best of luck.

Stargazer7

titan18 wrote: »

I find nights are worse than mornings tbh. Mornings I'm too tired to even think about it.

I started to dread nighttime because I knew it was the time I was supposed to sleep but couldn't and felt at my most anxious. One thing that actually helped break that wall down was doing night shift work as it got rid of my fixation that I *should* be asleep at nighttime. Totally accidental side effect of the work but I feel grateful for it.

Back to normal(ish) hours and the difficulty with nights has returned. Just trying to get sleep where I can.

twirlagig

Tell me how wrote: »

Hello and welcome. Sounds like you have a good GP. Some rush to throw meds at the patient too quickly in my view. Hopefully the Seretral will get you through this period so ye can both consider more permanent treatment whether that be meds or otherwise.

Best of luck.

Thank you Tell me how... I appreciate your reply. I even feel better right now. Since that opening up to the doctor this morning I’ve since confided in 3 more important people in my life this evening.
I guess it IS good to talk

LonelyBoy84

Definitely good to talk. I'd nearly go so far as to say that when I'm down/anxious, talking is more effective for me than medication. It kinda shines a light on it, normalizes it and nearly takes away its power

Big Vern

Had a review in work today with my boss, so much going on at home with family etc, i kinda broke down a bit in front of them. Really struggling with my job at present, everything seems to be getting on top of me, just cant seem to get a handle on my work at all, even simple things.

Was good to let it all out, my boss was very understanding and they are going to look at things to find a solution.

As people have said its good to talk, to tell someone where you are at.
If i had of said nothing, no its all fine, id still be in the same position in a few months, probably worse!

Shpud2

Why does every ****ing time I feel like things are getting back to normal and something resembling "good" things go to **** :mad:

Drumpot

Shpud2 wrote: »

Why does every ****ing time I feel like things are getting back to normal and something resembling "good" things go to **** :mad:

Yeh, ive noticed a personal shift the last week or so. I have sleep Apnea and I am trying to work out if part of it is that the weather has changed from being relatively warm to relatively wet. I do wonder if this affects my rhespiratory system and I don't sleep aswell. .

Im getting as much exercise as I have ever got and work is ok. But I am hitting a real low and have high anxiety levels that I felt had sort of gone for a few months . .

Graces7

Shpud2 wrote: »

Why does every ****ing time I feel like things are getting back to normal and something resembling "good" things go to **** :mad:

May be that when you feel good you start doing far too much? Think about it. Then you overdo and down you go?

Shpud2

Graces7 wrote: »

May be that when you feel good you start doing far too much? Think about it. Then you overdo and down you go?

No it wasn't that. I just felt like I was getting better but really I'm not.

Tell me how

Shpud2 wrote: »

No it wasn't that. I just felt like I was getting better but really I'm not.

The experience of many with depression is like this. it would be great if once we start to improve and that every day will be better than the one before.

In an ideal world our form would be like the graph below, constantly improving.



But in reality, it is more like this graph with swings upward and downward, hopefully though, the general trend is in an upward direction.



Think of the downward turn in the 2nd graphic of your sudden dip in form.

It can be demoralizing to have good days and then suddenly be low again but it is a very common experience.
Hopefully tomorrow is better.

RabbleRouser2k

Big Vern wrote: »

Had a review in work today with my boss, so much going on at home with family etc, i kinda broke down a bit in front of them. Really struggling with my job at present, everything seems to be getting on top of me, just cant seem to get a handle on my work at all, even simple things.

Was good to let it all out, my boss was very understanding and they are going to look at things to find a solution.

As people have said its good to talk, to tell someone where you are at.
If i had of said nothing, no its all fine, id still be in the same position in a few months, probably worse!

Someone I used to work for had a friend who worked in 'Freshco' (name taken from Corrie, because I don't wanna use the real company name).

Well, this person, her marriage was falling/ had fallen apart, she was relocating out of the house, someone she was close to was dying, , and the work load was getting on top of her.
She made some error at work-a major one, like, one that would have cost the company a couple of thousand, easily. But her supervisor caught the mistake, rectified it-and she was called into a meeting.

She broke down and told them her problems. Well, they gave her time off work, helped with funeral costs, and had someone help her out with her work while she was getting her finances and so on sorted.

Companies can be very understanding-they know folks aren't robots, and that s**t can hit the fan.
Talk to your bosses. It's worth it.

Shpud2

Tell me how wrote: »

The experience of many with depression is like this. it would be great if once we start to improve and that every day will be better than the one before.

In an ideal world our form would be like the graph below, constantly improving.



But in reality, it is more like this graph with swings upward and downward, hopefully though, the general trend is in an upward direction.



Think of the downward turn in the 2nd graphic of your sudden dip in form.

It can be demoralizing to have good days and then suddenly be low again but it is a very common experience.
Hopefully tomorrow is better.

I guess you're right but it just seems I'm always going back down to where I started. Even tonight I was shown to be a socially awkward emotional wreck who will never be accepted.

Tell me how

Shpud2 wrote: »

I guess you're right but it just seems I'm always going back down to where I started. Even tonight I was shown to be a socially awkward emotional wreck who will never be accepted.

I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have someone close to you or a therapist who you could discuss those issues such as whatever happened last night with?

I would bet that it's your perception (which can seem as fact but rarely is) that you will never be accepted and that someone might be able to support you in working through it.

Shpud2

Tell me how wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have someone close to you or a therapist who you could discuss those issues such as whatever happened last night with?

I would bet that it's your perception (which can seem as fact but rarely is) that you will never be accepted and that someone might be able to support you in working through it.

I do have a therapist i can talk to but that won't be until Monday week.

I don't think it's my perception though because as illustrated last night i will never be able to fit in with the people where I live. And until then i have to deal with those people all the time and i hate that and i won't be able to work through that.

Tell me how

Shpud2 wrote: »

I do have a therapist i can talk to but that won't be until Monday week.

I don't think it's my perception though because as illustrated last night i will never be able to fit in with the people where I live. And until then i have to deal with those people all the time and i hate that and i won't be able to work through that.

Well, maybe write a summary of last night and take that to your therapist with your sense that you will never be able to fit in. Writing it while it's fresh in your mind might help to communicate it easier to the therapist. it might also indicate statements which are much more influenced by your self-esteem rather than fact.

In the mean time, maybe try to engage with these people on a purely functional level, don't think about or try specifically to fit in or to step back. Just get through the week.