Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

wexie

One More Toy wrote: »

Thanks for your reply. It's just general anxiety facing the day ahead, I'm keeping hydrated and decaffeinated. Would you recommend a helpline that I could talk to someone?

I can't to be honest, never spoke to any of them myself.

Do you know if your employer has an employee assistance program?

There are a number of helplines listed in the first post of this thread as well.

Trebor176

Tell me how wrote: »

Trebor176, that all sounds very exhausting. Also, it seems to me (purely my opinion) that now that others are talking to you about whether or not this person might be interested in you, you are always going to be paying attention to others views and words.

A relationship is difficult enough with just 2 without trying to listen to several others opinions on it.

Could you ask this girl out with the view that whether she says yes or no, you will accept her answer and only focus on her words.

Could you try to meet someone outside of your current circle so that it is just between you and them, without others influencing it at the start.

We did date briefly, and I had been rejected twice. The second rejection was perhaps the nail in the coffin, so to speak.

Things have been said behind my back, and I know that for a fact. Messages between me and her were shared too.

This is someone, who never attended social events that I was at, due to anxiety. We had a mutual friend, and I only discovered that they were friends when we were introduced, and set up with one another. So, when things went pear-shaped, I fell out with the mutual friend, and a handful of others, who I considered good friends.

With me out of their group, so to speak, the girl I dated is now attending a lot of events, such as the one on Saturday. The way I have been feeling is certainly not being helped now, as I am likely to see her at a lot more social gatherings. She is now "in" with a number of friends of mine. Well, those I have got to know from social groups.

Deleted User wrote: »

I think Trebor has already had something with this girl but she is no longer interested.

@Trebor, I know you mentioned on here before that you were attending a therapist for support regarding a previous relationship you had. Would you consider going back? It seems that you're fixating a bit again. Please try for some perspective here. I know what its like to be rejected and the disappointment of your hopes not panning out. Thing is though it doesn't matter what you say or do. If that woman or that man isn't interested then thats the end of it.

I have been attending the counsellor on and off lately, and will be going back on Saturday. It has to be done!

Tell me how

Trebor176 wrote: »

We did date briefly, and I had been rejected twice. The second rejection was perhaps the nail in the coffin, so to speak.

Things have been said behind my back, and I know that for a fact. Messages between me and her were shared too.

This is someone, who never attended social events that I was at, due to anxiety. We had a mutual friend, and I only discovered that they were friends when we were introduced, and set up with one another. So, when things went pear-shaped, I fell out with the mutual friend, and a handful of others, who I considered good friends.

With me out of their group, so to speak, the girl I dated is now attending a lot of events, such as the one on Saturday. The way I have been feeling is certainly not being helped now, as I am likely to see her at a lot more social gatherings. She is now "in" with a number of friends of mine. Well, those I have got to know from social groups.

As I said previously, it sounds exhausting and I think you are so deep in thoughts around it that it is not doing you any good.

I hope you find a way to move past it.

Shpud2

God I hate myself sometimes

RabbleRouser2k

Trebor176 wrote: »

We did date briefly, and I had been rejected twice. The second rejection was perhaps the nail in the coffin, so to speak.

Things have been said behind my back, and I know that for a fact. Messages between me and her were shared too.

This is someone, who never attended social events that I was at, due to anxiety. We had a mutual friend, and I only discovered that they were friends when we were introduced, and set up with one another. So, when things went pear-shaped, I fell out with the mutual friend, and a handful of others, who I considered good friends.

With me out of their group, so to speak, the girl I dated is now attending a lot of events, such as the one on Saturday. The way I have been feeling is certainly not being helped now, as I am likely to see her at a lot more social gatherings. She is now "in" with a number of friends of mine. Well, those I have got to know from social groups.



I have been attending the counsellor on and off lately, and will be going back on Saturday. It has to be done!

It's awful when that happens-it's worse than a bad breakup.

I had a similar experience in my life- a girl who was interested in me (but had a boyfriend-so I was not gonna get involved in that disaster) got vindictive when I did not step into the fray when her boyfriend dumped her.
Seriously bad, speaking ill of me and so forth, and some reckless behaviour on her part.
I've had to cut off contact with very few people in my life, she was one of them.

It might be time to cut her out of your life. If she's hindering your health, be it mind or body, then leave her.

Also, keep up with the counselling sessions. I had to miss one last week (I can't drive, and the person giving me a lift to them was caught in a last minute job, so I had to cancel. Gotta pay the darn cancellation fee now, tho. Ugh). I've been feeling like crap since then-that and a few other things bothered the s**t outta me.
It's important to talk to someone.

caipin

Tonight is a bad one. Been trying to finish college for 8 years now and if it's not my mental health messing things up it's my financial state as a result of my mental health. Really starting to feel like I'm not gonna make anything of myself.

Trebor176

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

It's awful when that happens-it's worse than a bad breakup.

I had a similar experience in my life- a girl who was interested in me (but had a boyfriend-so I was not gonna get involved in that disaster) got vindictive when I did not step into the fray when her boyfriend dumped her.
Seriously bad, speaking ill of me and so forth, and some reckless behaviour on her part.
I've had to cut off contact with very few people in my life, she was one of them.

It might be time to cut her out of your life. If she's hindering your health, be it mind or body, then leave her.

Also, keep up with the counselling sessions. I had to miss one last week (I can't drive, and the person giving me a lift to them was caught in a last minute job, so I had to cancel. Gotta pay the darn cancellation fee now, tho. Ugh). I've been feeling like crap since then-that and a few other things bothered the s**t outta me.
It's important to talk to someone.

It sounds like you dodged a bullet there with her. You were best off cutting her out.

I'm sure there has been bad mouthing about me behind the scenes, and part of me thinks there is more to all this.

Cutting out isn't so easy. The only way to do that is not to attend any social outings with the friends I do get on well with. I know she is likely to be at them. I do have one coming up soon, and it's a case of having to go, as I have a ticket booked. Though, I don't think she will be at it, due to work. If the others go for drinks after, she may make an appearance.

Part of me is thinking of shunning the gatherings for now. It may reflect badly on me, if I keep cancelling. I can't say out straight that it's because she will be there, as that would make me look bad.

I have been doing the counselling on and off for nearly two years now. I started going back more regularly when all this s**t with herself and the others started affecting me. I first started going when I felt really low. Very out of character thanks to rejection. She's someone I let myself fall for early on, but that's another story.

I hope the counselling goes well for you. It's good to talk to someone, if you feel you can't share with those closer to you.

aluminium

Does anyone think their condition is hereditary

?

Or is it reactionary? is anyone else in the family suffer (or in some odd cases) enjoy their situation?

aluminium

Does anyone think their condition is heredity, situational or reactionary?

RabbleRouser2k

caipin wrote: »

Tonight is a bad one. Been trying to finish college for 8 years now and if it's not my mental health messing things up it's my financial state as a result of my mental health. Really starting to feel like I'm not gonna make anything of myself.

Some of the most successful folks I know didn't even do the Junior Cert. They're in their 20s, working great jobs.

As for the financial stuff...that's always the worst thing. Absolutely horrible. I can't really help you with that, unfortunately. But talk it out with someone, even if it's family or friends. They can often help you out with understanding and offering solutions.

Trebor176 wrote: »

It sounds like you dodged a bullet there with her. You were best off cutting her out.

I'm sure there has been bad mouthing about me behind the scenes, and part of me thinks there is more to all this.

Cutting out isn't so easy. The only way to do that is not to attend any social outings with the friends I do get on well with. I know she is likely to be at them. I do have one coming up soon, and it's a case of having to go, as I have a ticket booked. Though, I don't think she will be at it, due to work. If the others go for drinks after, she may make an appearance.

Part of me is thinking of shunning the gatherings for now. It may reflect badly on me, if I keep cancelling. I can't say out straight that it's because she will be there, as that would make me look bad.

I have been doing the counselling on and off for nearly two years now. I started going back more regularly when all this s**t with herself and the others started affecting me. I first started going when I felt really low. Very out of character thanks to rejection. She's someone I let myself fall for early on, but that's another story.

I hope the counselling goes well for you. It's good to talk to someone, if you feel you can't share with those closer to you.

Thank you. Yeah, when I had to cancel my appointment, it seemed like everything went to crap. Gonna have to discuss so much at the next session. Tbh, everything seemed to get bad this past fortnight.

Yeah, I felt horrible, and then when the badmouthing started, I was pretty grateful she was gone from my life.
I've dealt with badmouthing before, everything from how I walk to my 'scent'. (Bathroom was being done up, didn't have access to a shower for about two weeks, and deodorant can only do so much. But it didn't stop supposed friends speaking behind my back).

Well, you can excuse yourself, or say things like 'work' or whatever is keeping you busy. Somethings can really creep up on you, with work I mean, so its a good excuse. Or you can just be vague, ask if you can meet em for lunch or a coffee during the week, and say no more. They don't need to know everything about your private life.
Or if you do to places where she is, just keep your distance, a simple 'hiya', then do the 'Oh, haven't seen so and so in a while, gonna go talk to them' and move along.

Sometimes a rejection can be down to so much of our past. But either way, it's not healthy to keep hanging around her if she makes you feel bad-like, if she's going to badmouth you, then don't even give her ammunition-and it seems like she uses meetings with you as ammo.

RabbleRouser2k

aluminium wrote: »

Does anyone think their condition is heredity, situational or reactionary?

I suspect it might be hereditary. My brother noticed some things in me that he said my dad had too. But sometimes it can be down to the parents not dealing with their own issues, and passing it on to their kids.

And in much of my dad's side of the family, there's issues with alcohol addiction-a few have even been to rehab. My dad didn't have addiction issues, but he could finish a bottle of brandy off no problem, on his own I mean.

On my mom's side-there's been addiction there too. A cousin went to rehab. The reason I bring it up is because much of addiction is trying to feel 'numb' from pain. And depression is often just pain.

aluminium

i went to bed at 12.30, took a sleeping tablet. slept for 20 mins, now im on boards,

RABBLEROUSER , my father was always down. made everyone miserable. never diagnosed with anything. i moved away as a young lad because of it. kind of street angel house devil. By christ when he got his hands on a bottle of whiskey - there was a price to pay - and we paid it.

he died 6 months ago. A slow prolonged miserable death.Despite everything i stayed with him till he stopped breathing.
im still dealing with that - on many levels.

Ah! thats what xanax is for

Try_harder

aluminium wrote: »

i went to bed at 12.30, took a sleeping tablet. slept for 20 mins, now im on boards,

RABBLEROUSER , my father was always down. made everyone miserable. never diagnosed with anything. i moved away as a young lad because of it. kind of street angel house devil. By christ when he got his hands on a bottle of whiskey - there was a price to pay - and we paid it.

he died 6 months ago. A slow prolonged miserable death.Despite everything i stayed with him till he stopped breathing.
im still dealing with that - on many levels.

Ah! thats what xanax is for

Take care x

elvis83

God damn alcohol. Anxiety and paranoia have been sky high since a feed of beer on Saturday. Who did I say what to, who did I offend, who did I fall out with. Massive guilt on me and not even sure why.

I hate my brain at times

RabbleRouser2k

aluminium wrote: »

i went to bed at 12.30, took a sleeping tablet. slept for 20 mins, now im on boards,

RABBLEROUSER , my father was always down. made everyone miserable. never diagnosed with anything. i moved away as a young lad because of it. kind of street angel house devil. By christ when he got his hands on a bottle of whiskey - there was a price to pay - and we paid it.

he died 6 months ago. A slow prolonged miserable death.Despite everything i stayed with him till he stopped breathing.
im still dealing with that - on many levels.

Ah! thats what xanax is for

Yeah, my dad was similar. He worked all his life, since he was a teenager, and if you sat down for a break for 5 minutes, expect a negative comment. He seemed to live to put me down, and then if I said anything back, he'd be worse.
Never looked after his health. He was a farmer, if a cow or calf coughed in the wrong tune, he'd be into the vet straight away, to get something for em.
With himself-he'd make a hot whiskey and call it a night.

His cancer could probably have been caught sooner if he just did an annual checkup. The 'grateful' thing is he didn't have a prolonged death filled with pain.

I'm sorry for your loss-6 months is still raw, to be sure.

elvis83 wrote: »

God damn alcohol. Anxiety and paranoia have been sky high since a feed of beer on Saturday. Who did I say what to, who did I offend, who did I fall out with. Massive guilt on me and not even sure why.

I hate my brain at times

I've had similar, so I changed my beverage. I used to drink dry stouts, and
after a few I'd feel drained and dehydrated (they're cheaper, but still). So I switched to beers, and drinking more liquids (non-alcohol) on a night out.

It helped me- I make an excuse like 'Oh, I've got a meeting, so I have to cut back'.
My anxiety was a lot less after nights out.

One More Toy

Didn't make it to work today, glued to the bed with anxiety, going to the gp shortly to see what can be done, current meds are useless

One More Toy

Does anyone know if St. Pats is fee paying? If so how much roughly?

wexie

One More Toy wrote: »

Does anyone know if St. Pats is fee paying? If so how much roughly?

I believe they do take public patients but I'm not too sure to be honest.

Tell me how

One More Toy wrote: »

Does anyone know if St. Pats is fee paying? If so how much roughly?

For inpatient treatment?
5 years ago, the fees were in the region of €650/night. If you wanted to be treated as an inpatient and were willing to pay out of your own pocket, you had to deposit €20k with them ahead of being admitted.

If this sounds expensive? That's because it is. Very. Any hospital stay is unfortunately.

Could you build up your own health insurance so as to be able to go that route?

Shpud2

I find it very hard to keep my mood consistent. I'll have a small high and then a massive low and it is so frustrating

Gremlinertia

Shpud2 wrote: »

I find it very hard to keep my mood consistent. I'll have a small high and then a massive low and it is so frustrating

So similar to me, after not being bothered to look after myself for ages I finally went and got a haircut yesterday. No big deal but it was an accomplishment for me.. Mood lifted a bit. Then boom, back in a pit again. Ugh.

Hope today treats you better..

TG1

Well, I'm just back from my gp and now have a brand new GAD diagnosis so I thought I'd check out this thread.

Not that surprised to be honest as I know I've been battling it since I was a teenager. Was great to have a chat, put a name on it and talk through what I've lost because of it and what I might get back now that I'm finally dealing with it.

I'm hoping this is the start of something better for me, but Im also a little sceptical, as even after a chat with a super supportive gp who I was very lucky to stumble upon accidentally today I'm still not convinced that the whole issue isn't just me and my inability to deal with the world.

I'm not in a rush to tell a lot of people, so reading this thread has been a bit of a comfort to see other people dealing with similar stuff, so just wanted to say thanks to you all for that, good to know I'm not the only one!

aluminium

TG1 wrote: »

I'm not in a rush to tell a lot of people, so reading this thread has been a bit of a comfort to see other people dealing with similar stuff, so just wanted to say thanks to you all for that, good to know I'm not the only one!

I can empathize.

Can I ask is everyone here on regular medication or are you dealing with "it " a different way?

aluminium

one more question, has anyone used the Laya mental health service for access to Councillors or psycho therapists?

Shpud2

aluminium wrote: »

I can empathize.

Can I ask is everyone here on regular medication or are you dealing with "it " a different way?

aluminium wrote: »

one more question, has anyone used the Laya mental health service for access to Councillors or psycho therapists?

No and no are the answers from me.

I'm at the stage where I feel like fighting the depression is meaningless and I should just accept my fate.

wexie

aluminium wrote: »

I can empathize.

Can I ask is everyone here on regular medication or are you dealing with "it " a different way?

No medication as it just hasn't worked for me sadly. I'm seriously considering revisiting this but my GP has told me 'he's just a GP' which is fair enough I guess, the local mental health team is probably doing more harm than good and have a crazy waiting list and realistically the only way to see my private psychiatrist is going back in the hospital. Insurance won't cover 120 euro to go see him but they'll cover 500+ euro a day to go back into hospital

So I'm seeing a private psychologist, not too sure how much this is going to help, hopefully time will tell.

While it's easy enough to know all the things you could/should be doing....actually doing them is something else altogether :mad:

wexie

TG1 wrote: »

I'm hoping this is the start of something better for me, but Im also a little sceptical, as even after a chat with a super supportive gp who I was very lucky to stumble upon accidentally today I'm still not convinced that the whole issue isn't just me and my inability to deal with the world.

While I appreciate the difference you're trying to make there (I'm trying to work something similar out) realistically I'm not sure there's much of a difference between them.

What I mean by that is that whether its GAD or your inability to deal with the world the solution is more likely than not along the same lines.

It's very easy to get stuck in figuring out exactly what the problem is (believe me I know) and in the meantime loose sight of the fact that the solution could be largely the same. ie counseling, therapy, selfcare, learning to change behaviours and thinking patterns, coping mechanisms etc. etc.

One More Toy

Going to my first CBT session shortly, a bit nervous and apprehensive

wexie

One More Toy wrote: »

Going to my first CBT session shortly, a bit nervous and apprehensive

Good luck!

Gremlinertia

One More Toy wrote: »

Going to my first CBT session shortly, a bit nervous and apprehensive

Best of luck