Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Changingtime

Changingtime wrote: »

Hi all,

Long time GAD sufferer. Have been on varied medication (seroxat/paxil, lexapro/escitalopram, inderal/propanolol) but nothing has really worked for me. Counselling and CBT and meditation tried too with limited success. I exercise and diet well.. have a stressful job and busy homelife but no more than most.

The only thing that has worked for me is xanax/benzos (and when I say they work, they make me calm, focussed, able to work and communicate effectively, happy and positive, energised- a godsend!). My GP like many others not keen on benzos other than for emergencies and obviously i can't rely on this for long term management. But they make me realise what life could be like without the constant anxiety so naturally I want to feel that freedom more.

Not looking for medical advice (of course) but am looking for anyone's experiences with real experts in ireland in this mental health area (who are they!) who might be able to help me with a more appropriate medical solution to compliment my exercise and CBT efforts.

As great as my GP is, he is simply not an expert in the field and my research over the years seems to educate him if anything. I am happy to pay for a private psychiatrist if I can get referral / appt) but want to make sure I get someone who really knows this area well, knowing it will cost a bunch too!

So fed up with GAD and want to sort once and for all. Would MASSIVELY appreciate your input!

Hi all,

I ended seeking help and finding a city centre psychiatrist (private) three weeks ago that seemed to be an expert in the field of anxiety.

I am separately seeing a psychotherapist as I don't want to solely focus on medical options.

However, two weeks into a new medication regime, that decision to see someone that eneded up with visits to this psychiatrist is turning into one of the best decisions I have ever made.

In short, my Lexapro was increased from 15mg to 20mg and supplemented by a gradual ramped up dosage of 100mg of pregablin 3 times a day. I am on that level for 5 days now.

The last few days in my workplace have been extremely busy culminating in me delivering a 3 hour presentation/workshop to a very senior audience. While I would always have a level of anxiety, this scenario would have had me at my GP or A&E panicing and begging for benzos.

Instead this week, i have felt stressed but the anxiety is vastly reduced. Not all gone, but I feel normal. No impacts to focus or concentration, sleeping great, and without the constant anxiety draining me, I feel more positive and energised. I'm talking and engage with my family and work colleagues. I'm not hiding or escaping.

I know everyone is different and there is not always a simple cure and if going down the medical treatment route, it can be trial and error and hit and miss and what is hopefully going to work for me (pregablin in particular) may not work for others.. But 2 weeks in I can honestly say I haven't felt better in 10 years.

I wanted to post this to encourage people to not lose faith and to find professional help and keep on fighting.

I'm hoping for me this is the start of the end of anxiety (coupled with psychotherapy, exercise etc). And I'm feeling positive it will be.

Ask for help. You just might get it

Happy to PM or give more details if it helps.

TG1

aluminium wrote: »

I can empathize.

Can I ask is everyone here on regular medication or are you dealing with "it " a different way?

I'm so new to this that for me at the moment it is medication. I was so reluctance to try it as I was on seroxat as a kid and it turned me from an anxious obsessive child to a self harming child, but my gp took it into account and went with a different family of medication for me to start so hopefully this works. But I know it's a long long process of trial and error.

He gave me some anxicalm for a couple of days to "give me a few days to just breathe" and I actually can't remember my "you are rubbish" hamster on his wheel being so quiet, I'll be devastated when the few days are up, but it's good to see what the long term goal of what we are trying to do might be....

wexie

TG1 wrote: »

and I actually can't remember my "you are rubbish" hamster on his wheel being so quiet,

hate that ****er

TG1

wexie wrote: »

hate that ****er

I didn't realise he was there till the anxicalm silenced him.... It's a bit like when they are building close to your office and the noise becomes normal I think! After at least 20 years I was so used to him I didn't notice he was a problem!

Hopefully by accidently stumbling across a gp who has a personal understanding of anxiety and OCD I might be able to quieten him down a bit anyway!

never_mind

aluminium wrote: »

I can empathize.

Can I ask is everyone here on regular medication or are you dealing with "it " a different way?

I am having tried everything. It was a last resort having tried cbt, yoga, diet change etc.

aluminium

aluminium wrote:

Can I ask is everyone here on regular medication or are you dealing with "it " a different way?

I'm just trying to plough through it on my own. I know that's not the best of ideas but to be honest I'm uncomfortable discussing it.

I know the "it's ok not to feel ok" campaign has probably helped so many people but I find it so frustrating when I manage to pluck up the courage to mention my anxiety to someone I trust and I'm told "oh I get that" and in a way the "popularisation" of mental illness has made me retreat more into myself as I don't want to look like an attention seeker.
(Not judging anyone in particular, just how I feel... And ironically it makes me feel even worse about myself when I know I'm judging people who could be dealing with the very same issues).

I know that was probably a nonsensical ramble but this forum has been a godsend. Anonymity makes me feel free to be honest as I know I'm not looking for attention.

TG1

TG1 wrote: »

I didn't realise he was there till the anxicalm silenced him.... It's a bit like when they are building close to your office and the noise becomes normal I think! After at least 20 years I was so used to him I didn't notice he was a problem!

Hopefully by accidently stumbling across a gp who has a personal understanding of anxiety and OCD I might be able to quieten him down a bit anyway!

I had a similar experience years ago. Amazing isn't it.

TG1

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I had a similar experience years ago. Amazing isn't it.

It really is.

Out of curiosity has anyone here discussed their mental health in work?

I'm so far away from a position where I could at the moment, but just wondering are there workplaces out there that have accepted and accommodated in any way if they could?
It's still so stigmatized but has anyone had experience (good or bad) of talking to their workplace about any mental health issue?

wexie

TG1 wrote: »

It's still so stigmatized but has anyone had experience (good or bad) of talking to their workplace about any mental health issue?

While my judgement is no doubt tainted by my own experiences I wouldn't recommend it unless it is really very necessary.

Perhaps other people have had different experiences but it didn't end well for me.

Have you heard of the term 'fit to fire'?

TG1

wexie wrote: »

While my judgement is no doubt tainted by my own experiences I wouldn't recommend it unless it is really very necessary.

Perhaps other people have had different experiences but it didn't end well for me.

Have you heard of the term 'fit to fire'?

Well, I won't admit what I do for a living, but I will say there is a reason why when I was offered a "work related stress" cert the other day I had an actual panic attack at the thought and refused to take time off.

It's strange when you think about it really, as if the cert said "flu" or something no one would blink at it...

That's why I was hoping to hear good experiences but I'm not sure I will....

Tell me how

TG1 wrote: »

It's strange when you think about it really, as if the cert said "flu" or something no one would blink at it...

I can't see any reason why a cert should state "Work related stress".

Interesting information on the content of a sick cert at the following link

Data Protection issues with ‘Nature of Illness’ on Doctors Certs

Personally I think if the only reason someone would not avail of a cert is because they don't want the nature of their illness to be disclosed to their employer, then there is a risk they may be prolonging their suffering by choosing to continue to work.

aluminium

TG1 wrote: »

It really is.

Out of curiosity has anyone here discussed their mental health in work?

I'm so far away from a position where I could at the moment, but just wondering are there workplaces out there that have accepted and accommodated in any way if they could?
It's still so stigmatized but has anyone had experience (good or bad) of talking to their workplace about any mental health issue?

I'm / was self employed, but I would not discuss my general health with ANYONE never mind mental health.

I recall an interview on RTE radio a few months ago where a retired banker stated that around the beginning of the recession, he went to his Dr with depression / anxiety related issues. He mentioned something about getting a letter about taking some time off. His Dr said that it was no problem but was he (the banker) aware that any chance of promotion would cease.

As a seperate issue my restless legs are so bad this evening iiiiiitttttts gggeetting verry harrd tooooo type onnn the% lapppptooopp

RabbleRouser2k

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm just trying to plough through it on my own. I know that's not the best of ideas but to be honest I'm uncomfortable discussing it.

I know the "it's ok not to feel ok" campaign has probably helped so many people but I find it so frustrating when I manage to pluck up the courage to mention my anxiety to someone I trust and I'm told "oh I get that" and in a way the "popularisation" of mental illness has made me retreat more into myself as I don't want to look like an attention seeker.
(Not judging anyone in particular, just how I feel... And ironically it makes me feel even worse about myself when I know I'm judging people who could be dealing with the very same issues).

I know that was probably a nonsensical ramble but this forum has been a godsend. Anonymity makes me feel free to be honest as I know I'm not looking for attention.

I understand that-to use a comparison, or analogy, I think mental health is, hopefully, going to get similar treatment to tattoos. Before you weren't gonna rise up in the world with a dodgy tattoo. Now you could very well be president.
But the times are incredibly slow to change, and there is still stigma. The 'Ok to not feel ok' helps-but there's still stigma.

I think anonymity is a blessing in disguise, tbh. I know I have spoken to people about my issues, but you get mixed responses. Some people are great, others are... I think lepers get a better response, tbh. There is also the 'Irish' response to everything-not discounting feelings, but rather like saying 'ah sure we all get headaches' to someone with chronic migraines.

Tbh, it's frustrating how in one respect you have people 'diagnosing' themselves as mentally ill, but much different to someone who's been diagnosed and prescribed medication.

aluminium

Quick question, a few weeks ago, I lost my libido.
Ive looked everywhere and cant find it,

TG1

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Tbh, it's frustrating how in one respect you have people 'diagnosing' themselves as mentally ill, but much different to someone who's been diagnosed and prescribed medication.

I have to disagree with this. I have generalised anxiety and a compulsive disorder. I have that diagnosis as of Tuesday and am on medication as of Tuesday.

I knew I had both of these since I was 10. When I told my mother, she googled both and came back to me saying "well, yeh, obviously you have them."

It took me falling apart and collapsing into tears 6 times in a month at work to seek help, even though I had ignored very obvious symptoms for 20+ years because "I can deal on my own, I don't want to be on medication for ever"

So some people don't have a diagnosis, but do have an illness, and to be honest while I understand the frustration of people trivialising it, I think a lot of people genuinely do go undiagnosed.

wexie

aluminium wrote: »

Quick question, a few weeks ago, I lost my libido.
Ive looked everywhere and cant find it,

A lot of medication can interfere with the plumbing

If you're on medication that is, talk to your gp and they can prescribe Cialis or something.

RabbleRouser2k

TG1 wrote: »

I have to disagree with this. I have generalised anxiety and a compulsive disorder. I have that diagnosis as of Tuesday and am on medication as of Tuesday.

I knew I had both of these since I was 10. When I told my mother, she googled both and came back to me saying "well, yeh, obviously you have them."

It took me falling apart and collapsing into tears 6 times in a month at work to seek help, even though I had ignored very obvious symptoms for 20+ years because "I can deal on my own, I don't want to be on medication for ever"

So some people don't have a diagnosis, but do have an illness, and to be honest while I understand the frustration of people trivialising it, I think a lot of people genuinely do go undiagnosed.

Oh I knew something was wrong with me for as long as I could remember-it's just there was no 'name' for it. I was sometimes even told 'ah you don't have that, because someone I know does and they have this, this, and this'.

But then we see people doing the 'I'm so OCD'... or 'this has made me so depressed'... and it just minimizes the genuine depression and psychological distress people go through while suffering from mental illness.

For me, I was 'luckier' than most-I was diagnosed at 15 after about 3-4 years of crap building up and building up. But in the years after, I developed anxiety as well as OCD and depression.

But people 'diagnosing' themselves is far different to 'being diagnosed'. To use a physiological ailment example, It's why we have so many people going 'gluten free' because they think they are gluten intolerant. But when most go to a doctor, and get diagnosed, there's no gluten intolerance.

aluminium

wexie wrote: »

A lot of medication can interfere with the plumbing

If you're on medication that is, talk to your gp and they can prescribe Cialis or something.

Cialis headaches are not worth the trouble. And then theres the heart burn:)

Loss of libido has to do with the medication, cialis only facilitates ED.

RabbleRouser2k

aluminium wrote: »

Cialis headaches are not worth the trouble. And then theres the heart burn:)

Loss of libido has to do with the medication, cialis only facilitates ED.

Yeah, can depend on the medication. Some folks get that side effect, unfortunately.

You can avail of some medications-be it viagra or cialis via online, reputable and legal sources, in case of embarassment.

But if you have a heart problem, then avoid.

aluminium

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Yeah, can depend on the medication. Some folks get that side effect, unfortunately.

You can avail of some medications-be it viagra or cialis via online, reputable and legal sources, in case of embarassment.

But if you have a heart problem, then avoid.

I had a heart attack two years ago, got done in the Mater. My meds are over the threshold for the drug refund scheme so I was able to get the cialis for free. I got a box every month for about six months. I used one box - never again.

I started therapy today, we'll see how it runs. I was 4 weeks on 10mg lexapro and will be on 20mgs from tomorrow. Id say I will have another couple of weeks of the side effects

PTH2009

Few things where I think my depression stems from (im not going to make sense in some parts so I apologise in advance)

Low voice/confidence issues- I think my low speaking voice really kills my confidence and puts me down. I would get really frustrated when people say 'What he say', 'i don't knw what he said' and I have to repeat myself. I work in let's say a pretty demanding retail job and serve all walks of life. I get frustrated at myself for my low voice and i can't improve on it and it's natural too me

Aspergers- id have slight Aspergers and my particular vices are loud and sudden noises ie Sneezing/Coughing/people talking loud really get too me. I'd find it hard to keep eye contact with people. I'd be a very future person in that I'm always planning for holidays/gigs/matches etc that are weeks/months away and people find that odd. Sometimes I go into my own world and start thinking about stuff and it can happen out of now where. I feel I can be in a relationship as I knw my symptoms

Social media- I don't do social media well but can't go cold turkey on it. I'm a decent looking guy and I'm never successful on dating apps and that would really drive my confidence down as lesser people i knw always get matches/chats etc. I have issues with certain fetishes (which i wont disclose here) and can't keep them to myself and do/say stupid things on FB/Instgram and I really need to distract myself from them as it could get out of hand and cause issues. I dont do Snapchat or stuff like thst as I hate cameras

Alcohol- I do enjoy a drink but I feel since I lost weight I'm drinking more and it's hitting my system faster not knowing it's doing it. 80% of the time I'd go out on my own (normally the lesser busy nights) and it can be frustrating as I'd be constantly looking at FB/message boards etc and places would be generally quite with nothing much going on. I feel relaxed to an extent. A lot of my friends would never invite me a long to things cause they have girlfriends/my low voice issues. I love staff/group nights out cause I'm out in a group for a change and don't feel any stranger as when I'm on my own. I knw what drinks agree with me and what don't so I don't like be told 'Don't be drinking that', 'you be sick' etc. It's all about mood/feelings when I'm drinking I don't like negative conversations/lads acting the prick and bullying me cause they knw I'll react. I don't do drugs and a lot people i knw do. Would i do drugs If I was offered them ?? Prob yes Why ? Cause I feel they will aid me as I see people having such a good time and craic when there on them and people love there company, I want some of that but then I feel I could drop dead/get paranoid (I had a few puffs of hash a few times and I always felt paranoid and down)/lose the head etc. I get down in myself when im refused entry/service in a place cause I'm too drunk and that starts a downturn on my night

I'm not in a gym but i do weights at home and 3 times a week do 200 push ups daily. I feel exercise helps me a bit. In 2013/14/15 i was prescribed anti depressants/rispiridone and they made me gain weight and other bad side effects and I never want to go back on them or visit that free public mental health doctors office again (the long waits/general 10 min chats ah take this and come back in 2 months etc)

I feel I have a lot to offer life, I can find a girlfriend somehow, find a more steady job and be happy. I'm a huge gig goer and been all over the Ireland/UK for gigs and feel that's more left in the tank even if my bucket list is empty, sporting spectator lifr still has a lot left even if some of the teams I support are ****e lol . I'll be 30 In 2 years and it's still young enough (When I was young I would of hoped to be married and have kids by then) but not to be

Peace out I'll try and keep ye updated here on stuff but I'll be around other forums on the site

TG1

Started what is supposed to be an ongoing course of meds yesterday. Just slept through a whole day. So so tired and feeling a little dopey when not sleeping.

Really really hoping this is just an adjustment period.

aluminium

TG1 wrote: »

Started what is supposed to be an ongoing course of meds yesterday. Just slept through a whole day. So so tired and feeling a little dopey when not sleeping.

Really really hoping this is just an adjustment period.

I think Im about 6 weeks in on meds, which were adjusted 11 days ago. Fo some reason Im comatose today. Got up at 5 took a couple of tablets, went back to bed, woke at 9 got up at ten. 12 O Clock sat in chair eating a sandwich woke up at 3 with sandwich on my lap. Moved over to the sofa woke up at 5 .

There is an adjustment period, Im still adjusting. If your ssri or snri is causing you to sleep during the day you can take them at night instead of the morning.

TG1

aluminium wrote: »

I think Im about 6 weeks in on meds, which were adjusted 11 days ago. Fo some reason Im comatose today. Got up at 5 took a couple of tablets, went back to bed, woke at 9 got up at ten. 12 O Clock sat in chair eating a sandwich woke up at 3 with sandwich on my lap. Moved over to the sofa woke up at 5 .

There is an adjustment period, Im still adjusting. If your ssri or snri is causing you to sleep during the day you can take them at night instead of the morning.

Good to hear there is an adjustment, Im I only on a low dosage of a prolonged release so I took it Friday evening for the first time.

I think it was a combo of being wrecked from ignoring advice about time off work, coming off the diazepam perscribed for a couple of days and starting the snri.
Took the second dose yesterday evening and slept well last night but woke up there and feel less dopey woozy and dizzy, and don't feel like I'll sleep again which is closer to my normal pattern so hopefully yesterday was just a combination of everything hitting me together.

carzony

I had the week off work last week and slept for most of it.

Things are going well but a high level of anxiety day to day had become normal. I have been thinking of going back on beta-blockers for a long time now.

The everyday stress seems to be havin an effect on my looks also, staring to go bald very quickly, which does not run in the family.

RabbleRouser2k

The 'sleeping for day' thing I get too-but it's only recently. I've started taking a few vitamins to help me out, since I can often get like that when I'm run down. That said, some times it can be just a day where crap triggers me-like, just makes me feel like absolute muck. Or it can be plans went awry...or a whole host of things.

So the 'sleeping all day' thing is pretty common. I always feel like crap afterwards. I spent Saturday in bed, and got up today, Sunday, at 10am.

I'm beginning to think it may be a reaction to something. I had an upset stomach yesterday, so maybe that played into it.

Try_harder

Spent most of this weekend in bed.
Not looking forward to work tomorrow

aluminium

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

The 'sleeping for day' thing I get too-but it's only recently. I've started taking a few vitamins to help me out, since I can often get like that when I'm run down. That said, some times it can be just a day where crap triggers me-like, just makes me feel like absolute muck. Or it can be plans went awry...or a whole host of things.

So the 'sleeping all day' thing is pretty common. I always feel like crap afterwards. I spent Saturday in bed, and got up today, Sunday, at 10am.

I'm beginning to think it may be a reaction to something. I had an upset stomach yesterday, so maybe that played into it.

Interesting, at night I get broken sleep. Ill take a stilnoct and it will knock me out. However it does not keep me asleep. When I get up in the morning, the usual daily ablutions take place.
However when I fall asleep during the day, its a very deep sleep. I will sleep for exactly one hour. It can take a few hours to fully wakeup, its like waking up after a drunken sleep without the hangover.

Gremlinertia

I have always slept badly. Waking after an hour or two or having lucid type dreams that leave me agitated and confused when i awake in a usually startled manner.. Working nights seems to suit me better and luckily i can do that at least currently. The sheer number of things that impact on mood is frightening at times.

RabbleRouser2k

aluminium wrote: »

Interesting, at night I get broken sleep. Ill take a stilnoct and it will knock me out. However it does not keep me asleep. When I get up in the morning, the usual daily ablutions take place.
However when I fall asleep during the day, its a very deep sleep. I will sleep for exactly one hour. It can take a few hours to fully wakeup, its like waking up after a drunken sleep without the hangover.

Yeah, it can be similar for me. I can wake up, then fall asleep, then wake up again.

I sometimes have moments where it's like, I can't face the day-and I should get up, but don't. Like. I end up feeling inadequate, a complete failure. So I stay in bed.