Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

TG1

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

I know that feeling well

*Hugs *

Thanks, Hugs much needed at the moment. Today I couldn't even go up to my landlord to pay my rent because I genuinely used everything I had to get through work. I really thought I was making progress but suddenly I'm right back in a hole again.

It's the first time I'm really tackling this so I guess I'm just surprised at the yo yo feeling of it all. I really thought I had it in hand and could take on the world but suddenly I'm right back to square one.

I'm sure it's just a rough spot but it's tough. Anyway, enough whinging!

Cleopatra_

I feel so alone in this world. I know that there are people who love me and care about me but it's like I can't feel it. I feel detached from everyone and I can't see a point to anything at all. I feel like I'm annoying people too so I go from wanting to get in touch to not replying to them. I just can't seem to regulate my emotions at all and it's driving me nuts. I'm worried people will stay away from me if they think I'm unstable.

Tell me how

Cleopatra_ wrote: »

I feel so alone in this world. I know that there are people who love me and care about me but it's like I can't feel it. I feel detached from everyone and I can't see a point to anything at all. I feel like I'm annoying people too so I go from wanting to get in touch to not replying to them. I just can't seem to regulate my emotions at all and it's driving me nuts. I'm worried people will stay away from me if they think I'm unstable.

I can relate to this somewhat.

Have you discussed this with someone? Could you let (at least one) of those close to you what you are experiencing and ask that they tell you how it makes them feel.

You might be seeing an issue where they don't feel there is one, or at the very least, they might be aware of it and touch base with you on it before it gets out of hand.

Cleopatra_

Tell me how wrote: »

I can relate to this somewhat.

Have you discussed this with someone? Could you let (at least one) of those close to you what you are experiencing and ask that they tell you how it makes them feel.

You might be seeing an issue where they don't feel there is one, or at the very least, they might be aware of it and touch base with you on it before it gets out of hand.

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it. It's comforting to know someone can relate even though I'm sorry you have similar difficulties.



I discussed this with my partner and a good friend of mine. I suppose I feel guilt telling people I'm close to because they can't alleviate what I'm feeling and I don't want them to think they aren't ''enough'' for me because they are reaching out to me.



I'm seeing a therapist so I'm hoping to get this issue addressed along with others. In the mean time I guess I just have to get a handle on myself.

Gremlinertia

Hope you're doing ok Cleo

Cleopatra_

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hope you're doing ok Cleo

Thanks for checking in Grem. Today is a better day

I hope all is well with you.

Gremlinertia

Things alright, anniversary season though, snuck up on me as usual.

Mam of 4

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Things alright, anniversary season though, snuck up on me as usual.

Take it easy on yourself Grem , it's difficult enough dealing with the anniversaries , without the dark dreary weather to make it seem even bleaker .

Maybe that's just me though

Had a relapse on Monday that carried over til Tuesday. Now work have sent me home until I'm evaluated by the company doctor. Ugh. Can't seem to find the energy to even leave the bed.

BigWheel

Hi All, Please please be kind to yourselves. You are worth so much more than your illness. It is an illness it is something you deal with and you are so strong in dealing with it!! I was speaking with my Mum this evening and tried to explain that it is something I have to deal with but is not me or of me. I hope this makes some sense, you deserve to take care of yourselves & realise just how strong & awesome you all are. Thanks for sharing, that takes real courage. Hugs xx BW

La.de.da

Not being able to sleep is a pain. Chronic phases of insomnia lately. Really has a knock on affect on everything else...., diet, energy. Can barely hold a conversation.

I don't know what is causing it. I have a routine,no caffeine after 1pm. Reading at night, taking a bath... even sleeping pills don't work.

There must be some underlying stress or something else I'm not dealing to well with or maybe it's a just a phase.

Gremlinertia

You have my sympathy, can't remember the last time i felt refreshed

BohsCeltic

4am now and i am wide awake. On the plus side i am fighting something i will win. My GP gave me the go ahead to start back work in 10 day's time having being off for 9 months.
I have valium to take but that's not the road i won't to go down.
This is my first post on this thread so i have a lot of reading and catching up to do.

I find myself sleeping during the day so obviously its hard to sleep then at night, hopefully when i am back in work i will get back to my normal routine.
For far too long i have cared and helped many people instead of actually helping myself, The time is now to concentrate on myself, Because if i cannot help myself i cannot help other people.
Hope that makes some sense.

BohsCeltic

Maybe i should give a little bit of an introduction seeing as i'm still wide awake.
38 year old male suffering from anxiety and depression. I have being suffering from anxiety since a young age but i was strong enough to be able to get through it without medication.
Depression only really kicked in just over two years ago, yes before that i would have up and down day's but that's fairly common in most people.

I have had a lot of family deaths over the years, people who i was really close to so that didn't help. I got a promotion in work and it was quite a stressfull role.
I met a girl while travelling through Thailand and that's when i think the real problem started to manifest. We got on so well but it was always hard to have to say goodbye. I'm talking about seeing her 5 times in 2 years but countless hours everyday on skype and messenger. It's a lot of air miles too.
I always tried to hide my feelings but then i just said feck it i am not afraid of letting people know. It's amazing how many other people feel the same but try and hide it. I am quite open about everything, if you are not honest then how can you ever get help.

I lost interest in many things, just wanting to be alone e.t.c and neglecting responsibilities.

I now have a job offer in Thailand, my family and friends don't want me to go but i think it might do me good, if it doesn't work out i can still come back home. I don't have any children but my family and friends are really close to me. Yes i will miss them, same as i would miss my two dogs (if you don't have a dog believe me they can be so helpfull when you are feeling down).

It's a hard call to make, also i was dealing with my depression by drinking everyday, a stupid thing to do because it just makes you feel worse in the long term. I was just trying to block everything, like living in a fantasy world.
It got so bad that my girlfriend said to me that she see's me drinking so much but never seen me drunk. I had built up a tolerance to it. I wasn't eating right and my mood was more aggressive, definitely not the person i used to be.

You can only learn from your mistakes and i find myself quite lucky that i am addressing my problems rather than hiding them.
Oiche Mhaith

The One Doctor

St John's Wort does a huge amount to help me feel better now. I did all the research, the Cochrane review, everything, which reassured me.

Only issue was that I had to go up North to get it.

It got so bad that my girlfriend said to me that she see's me drinking so much but never seen me drunk. I had built up a tolerance to it. I wasn't eating right and my mood was more aggressive, definitely not the person i used to be.

Drinking heavily always makes for a worse mood.

BohsCeltic

The One Doctor wrote: »

St John's Wort does a huge amount to help me feel better now. I did all the research, the Cochrane review, everything, which reassured me.

Only issue was that I had to go up North to get it.



Drinking heavily always makes for a worse mood.

Yes it does but thankfully i responded to it by being open to my GP, family friends and HR in my job about it.
I'll admit it is hard but the hardest part is always admitting that you have a problem. I've taken massive steps to get back on track. The reality is it's only myself that can fix these problems but having support helps too.

Graces7

La.de.da wrote: »

Not being able to sleep is a pain. Chronic phases of insomnia lately. Really has a knock on affect on everything else...., diet, energy. Can barely hold a conversation.

I don't know what is causing it. I have a routine,no caffeine after 1pm. Reading at night, taking a bath... even sleeping pills don't work.

There must be some underlying stress or something else I'm not dealing to well with or maybe it's a just a phase.

small thought. worrying and reasoning re insomnia does more harm that not sleeping itself. Learned that the hard way. Trust me. Accept and work within it? Just now as part of the M.E / SAD I have hypersomnia... Maybe we should share! Rip van Winkle is an amateur.. And we are near the equinox which affects health? I just read and knit abed...

BohsCeltic

Just when you feel like things are improving there is always something to put you back down.
I got a phone call yesterday evening to be told that a good friend of mine had just taken his own life, He was in his early 30's. My brain starts racing thinking why did he never tell anyone how he was feeling and why i didn't notice all the warning signs.
Feel absolutely gutted.

Gremlinertia

So sorry to hear that, try not to let it drag you to dark places, i know, nearly impossible but if you can meet some people, be nice to yourself and if you need support contact friends or services
Personally it's just turned the eighth anniversary of two of my friends who also killed themselves, the pain remains but it gets more tolerable in time..

BohsCeltic

Gremlinertia wrote: »

So sorry to hear that, try not to let it drag you to dark places, i know, nearly impossible but if you can meet some people, be nice to yourself and if you need support contact friends or services
Personally it's just turned the eighth anniversary of two of my friends who also killed themselves, the pain remains but it gets more tolerable in time..

Thank you.
You are absolutely right in what you say. I'm pretty sure that having done CBT therapy it is now really kicking in.
Instead of locking myself away i am dealing with it. I cannot change anything that has already happened. It's time to just step up and be there for family and friends.

titan18

Hate work Christmas parties. Had mine Saturday night and spent the night in my head. Would have been better off not turning up than actually going and spending the night trying to not cry.

Graces7

singing the winter blues out here... not like me, but the SAD aspect of CFS.ME is at its dreadful zenith.

And of course things are ganging up on me. Car trouble that means I will be without transport sooner than later which means totally island bound.

I was getting calmly organised then the whole situation escalated and doubt I will even get out before Christmas.

This will be the end of driving and that aspect of independence. There is no way a "new" car can be sourced financially .. I had organised a couple of fulfilling days out but they have crashed. Not the car! Just it is dying. Old car, old driver..

It is a huge change after.. I think well over 50 years of driving.
singing the winter blues .....very weary of it. a great mountain ahead.

Tell me how

Graces7 wrote: »

singing the winter blues out here... not like me, but the SAD aspect of CFS.ME is at its dreadful zenith.

And of course things are ganging up on me. Car trouble that means I will be without transport sooner than later which means totally island bound.

I was getting calmly organised then the whole situation escalated and doubt I will even get out before Christmas.

This will be the end of driving and that aspect of independence. There is no way a "new" car can be sourced financially .. I had organised a couple of fulfilling days out but they have crashed. Not the car! Just it is dying. Old car, old driver..

It is a huge change after.. I think well over 50 years of driving.
singing the winter blues .....very weary of it. a great mountain ahead.

Sorry to hear it.

Hopefully it's not the end of the road for you and driving. I hope too there's a sunny day or two even it the weather is still quite cold, to counter the SAD symptoms. E

Graces7

Tell me how wrote: »

Sorry to hear it.

Hopefully it's not the end of the road for you and driving. I hope too there's a sunny day or two even it the weather is still quite cold, to counter the SAD symptoms. E

Does not work like that; it is the intensity/quality of the light; what they call LUX . It will only start to revert after the shortest day. The cold does not matter. It starts in august for that reason.

What is so hard now is that of course no one really knows what the M.E does and they are expecting me to make the running, decisions etc. Feel as if a huge heap of stones is being laid on me one by one.

I have until Thursday now I think. Just so drained and dark

Bears have the right idea...

titan18

titan18 wrote: »

Hate work Christmas parties. Had mine Saturday night and spent the night in my head. Would have been better off not turning up than actually going and spending the night trying to not cry.

Ended up asking one of the girls in work out today. Have had a crush on her for about 2 and a half years and been trying to ask her out for a while. Thougjt she liked me but she just gave me a polite no today saying she's too busy with friends and family to get coffee with me or dinner.

titan18

titan18 wrote:

Ended up asking one of the girls in work out today. Have had a crush on her for about 2 and a half years and been trying to ask her out for a while. Thougjt she liked me but she just gave me a polite no today saying she's too busy with friends and family to get coffee with me or dinner.

Shìt. Chin up chief. Never nice to get rebuffed. Fair play for trying though.

Tell me how

titan18 wrote: »

Ended up asking one of the girls in work out today. Have had a crush on her for about 2 and a half years and been trying to ask her out for a while. Thougjt she liked me but she just gave me a polite no today saying she's too busy with friends and family to get coffee with me or dinner.

Deleted User wrote: »

Shìt. Chin up chief. Never nice to get rebuffed. Fair play for trying though.

Exactly. Very well done. Make sure to run in to her tomorrow and say hello. Don't feel that you can't chat with her just because she said no.

Well done for trying.

RabbleRouser2k

Tell me how wrote: »

Exactly. Very well done. Make sure to run in to her tomorrow and say hello. Don't feel that you can't chat with her just because she said no.

Well done for trying.

As others said, well done for trying. The important thing to do is to not let it bother you, and let her think it doesn't bother you. Also, a good thing to do is to just go around and chat to other girls in the office. Let her see you talking to them too, and just a 5 or ten minute conversation, doesn't have to be a huge deal.
Even smiling a lot like you've something to be happy about.

After a while she'll start to wonder why you're happy so much of the time-even if it's a case of you saying you've got plans or whatever, being vague or whatever.

Have this constant warm feeling behind my cheeks, like I'm about to cry, but can't cry. Not sure if it is a symptom or cause of anxiety. It has been driving me crazy throughout 2018.

batgoat

So got a new job a few months back, moved to Limerick and had been pretty unhappy where I was. Couple of problems cropped up straight out, an existing illness started causing me problems so when I moved, I wasn't exactly in peak health. I was pretty terrible tbh. So I've only started recovering from fatigue in the last 3 weeks. Not perfect but better. Then as I got further involved in my job, I've sort of figured that it's a bit of a dead end for me.

So now I'm in a new place, struggling to meet anyone in my age group(late 20s) and just pretty miserable all round. Had hoped this change would help but it's ending up making me more miserable.