Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

BohsCeltic

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I have nothing to focus on that's the problem. I lost everything last year. Even my job on Xmas eve.

Sorry to hear that. Have you tried Cognitive Behavior Therapy(CBT) ?
I found it really helpfull for me.
I've been off work sick since the end of March and hoping to go back once Doctor approves.

Try focus on getting a new job. Remember it's small steps.
Please go talk to someone. Even call one of the helplines. Talking is so good.

I am not sure what you have lost but no matter how hard it was and still is you have to try to look forward. I have been there too but never thought of hurting myself.
I know it's easy for people to say to look to the future but sometimes a lot of us don't see much of a future. That's where CBT helps, it helps you turn negative thoughts into positive ones.

Stay safe and take care.

SMC92Ian

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Sorry to hear that. Have you tried Cognitive Behavior Therapy(CBT) ?
I found it really helpfull for me.
I've been off work sick since the end of March and hoping to go back once Doctor approves.

Try focus on getting a new job. Remember it's small steps.
Please go talk to someone. Even call one of the helplines. Talking is so good.

I am not sure what you have lost but no matter how hard it was and still is you have to try to look forward. I have been there too but never thought of hurting myself.
I know it's easy for people to say to look to the future but sometimes a lot of us don't see much of a future. That's where CBT helps, it helps you turn negative thoughts into positive ones.

Stay safe and take care.

I've gone full emo, sucks but it's a coping mechanism, I've never heard of CBT, I've lost my job, then my soul mate, then my friend and now my new job, some ****ing year 2019 was... good times, I've never been one for talking, typical Irish lad here, hide it and keep it all in.

Red Lightning

SMC92Ian wrote:

I've gone full emo, sucks but it's a coping mechanism, I've never heard of CBT, I've lost my job, then my soul mate, then my friend and now my new job, some ****ing year 2019 was... good times, I've never been one for talking, typical Irish lad here, hide it and keep it all in.

Dya mind me asking what 'everything' ya lost? Just want to gauge it before I give my advice.

BohsCeltic

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I've gone full emo, sucks but it's a coping mechanism, I've never heard of CBT, I've lost my job, then my soul mate, then my friend and now my new job, some ****ing year 2019 was... good times, I've never been one for talking, typical Irish lad here, hide it and keep it all in.

I lost a lot last year too. Girlfriend, and two friends who took their own life because they hid their problems.
You are a stronger person if you talk. It's not a weakness. As I have said many times it's a sign of strength that opens up a whole new world that you willl find many people who start to open up to you too.
I have seen people that have everything and always looked happy but I could sense they were hiding something.
When I opened up they came to talk to me.

I think you really need to see your GP if you are feeling this way.

SMC92Ian

BohsCeltic wrote: »

I lost a lot last year too. Girlfriend, and two friends who took their own life because they hid their problems.
You are a stronger person if you talk. It's not a weakness. As I have said many times it's a sign of strength that opens up a whole new world that you willl find many people who start to open up to you too.
I have seen people that have everything and always looked happy but I could sense they were hiding something.
When I opened up they came to talk to me.

I think you really need to see your GP if you are feeling this way.

I opened up once to someone and it was one of the hardest things to do, and guess what? They didn't care and haven't spoken to me since.

BohsCeltic

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I opened up once to someone and it was one of the hardest things to do, and guess what? They didn't care and haven't spoken to me since.

Maybe they have their own problems and are also afraid.
Talk to your doctor at least as it's clear you need some assistance.
Your doctor will listen to you without judging you.

SMC92Ian

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Maybe they have their own problems and are also afraid.
Talk to your doctor at least as it's clear you need some assistance.
Your doctor will listen to you without judging you.

They told me they'd always be there but proved themselves to be liars as they baled, doctors are too expensive also, I'll be grand.

mrmorgan

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I opened up once to someone and it was one of the hardest things to do, and guess what? They didn't care and haven't spoken to me since.

why haven't they spoken to you??

I wouldn't take that as a reason not to talk!!

Tell me how

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I opened up once to someone and it was one of the hardest things to do, and guess what? They didn't care and haven't spoken to me since.

Unfortunately, that can and does happen all too often. I'm not too hard on people who act this way though as I think they often just have no idea how to help or feel that they are expected to and they freeze somewhat.

SMC92Ian wrote: »

They told me they'd always be there but proved themselves to be liars as they baled, doctors are too expensive also, I'll be grand.

There are cost effective ways to get support. Pieta I think do something and the support lines do help a lot of people also.

Earthsnotflat

Hello, first time posting in this thread, I just wanted to say it's awful to be depressed, not that it's some discovery.. I never wanted any meds, and probably will never take any.. it's like.. undergoing surgery without anesthesia, life is raw. Sometimes I feel happy, I wonder if this is part of depression or am I really getting better, or maybe Im bipolar..I used to be normal many years ago I think, but then life happened :-)

Tell me how

Earthsnotflat wrote: »

Hello, first time posting in this thread, I just wanted to say it's awful to be depressed, not that it's some discovery.. I never wanted any meds, and probably will never take any.. it's like.. undergoing surgery without anesthesia, life is raw. Sometimes I feel happy, I wonder if this is part of depression or am I really getting better, or maybe Im bipolar..I used to be normal many years ago I think, but then life happened :-)

Hi and welcome.
Hope you get some benefit from posting and reading here.

Have you been treated for depression? Hopefully your quality of life is not too bad most of the time. You are right being depressed is a terrible feeling.

Earthsnotflat

Tell me how wrote: »

Hi and welcome.
Hope you get some benefit from posting and reading here.

Have you been treated for depression? Hopefully your quality of life is not too bad most of the time. You are right being depressed is a terrible feeling.

Thank you, no I've never been treated, im scared of meds, used to have them prescribed once but didn't take any. Well I think what I went through was so bad but I made it, and I think I'm on the better side now. But it was like war zone as I'm sure everyone who ever dealt with depression is well aware of. You have to have someone on your side.anyways I'll keep reading, fight the good fight everyone, there is light and way out of this

BohsCeltic

SMC92Ian wrote: »

They told me they'd always be there but proved themselves to be liars as they baled, doctors are too expensive also, I'll be grand.

You won't be grand. That's the typical Irish attitude. Just remember it's ok not to be ok. You can go to emergency department in hospital and not have to pay to get seen to and there are many 24 hour lines open to talk to people.

If you heard what I went through you'd probably think that I am worse off than you . I fought back like any person can do.
It's a battle alright but it can be won.
I'm living proof of it.

Checkmate19

Originally Posted by SMC92Ian View Post
They told me they'd always be there but proved themselves to be liars as they baled, doctors are too expensive also, I'll be grand.


Because one person didn't listen doesn't mean the next won't. There are many avenues you can take. Doctors will get you on the right meds if you need them and you go from there. Things will always seem bad at the time but you can pull through. Six years ago i was in an attic ready to pull the plug and didn't. Lost my best mate 42 yesterday.

SMC92Ian

Checkmate19 wrote: »

Originally Posted by SMC92Ian View Post
They told me they'd always be there but proved themselves to be liars as they baled, doctors are too expensive also, I'll be grand.


Because one person didn't listen doesn't mean the next won't. There are many avenues you can take. Doctors will get you on the right meds if you need them and you go from there. Things will always seem bad at the time but you can pull through. Six years ago i was in an attic ready to pull the plug and didn't. Lost my best mate 42 yesterday.

I won't go near drugs, they can **** you up even more or turn you into a zombie. Sorry for you loss too.

The Lost Sheep

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I won't go near drugs, they can **** you up even more or turn you into a zombie. Sorry for you loss too.

I totally disagree with you re meds. They can really help you with relaxing and focusing on other ways to help your situation.
But your first aim should be through talk therapy etc

batgoat

The Lost Sheep wrote: »

I totally disagree with you re meds. They can really help you with relaxing and focusing on other ways to help your situation.
But your first aim should be through talk therapy etc

Also meds can make a person more open to talk therapy depending on the situation.

Tell me how

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I won't go near drugs, they can **** you up even more or turn you into a zombie. Sorry for you loss too.

The Lost Sheep wrote: »

I totally disagree with you re meds. They can really help you with relaxing and focusing on other ways to help your situation.
But your first aim should be through talk therapy etc

batgoat wrote: »

Also meds can make a person more open to talk therapy depending on the situation.

We as patients can have an opinion on whether we like to use them or not but we really need to listen to those qualified in this area.

A good Dr/Psychiatrist will listen to the patients fears and experience and will prescribe accordingly. They will also describe exactly why they are prescribing whatever it is they feel is best, the likely benefits and side affects as well. They will usually ramp up and ramp down prescribed doses so as to have gradual impact so as to not make the patient feel uncomfortable.

lbc2019

Appt with psychologist went well. Have rest of day off. Going to see my new nephew

lbc2019

SMC92Ian wrote: »

Checkmate19 wrote: »

Originally Posted by SMC92Ian View Post
They told me they'd always be there but proved themselves to be liars as they baled, doctors are too expensive also, I'll be grand.


Because one person didn't listen doesn't mean the next won't. There are many avenues you can take. Doctors will get you on the right meds if you need them and you go from there. Things will always seem bad at the time but you can pull through. Six years ago i was in an attic ready to pull the plug and didn't. Lost my best mate 42 yesterday.

I won't go near drugs, they can **** you up even more or turn you into a zombie. Sorry for you loss too.

Sorry I find that comment very judgmental, medication may not be suitable for everyone - but they work for a lot especially in more severe circumstances

TG1

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I won't go near drugs, they can **** you up even more or turn you into a zombie. Sorry for you loss too.

Had a really really bad experience with a type of medication as an adolescent, and it took me so long to work up the courage to go to someone again but I did.
It took him a bit to convince me to give medication a go, but at the moment I'm glad I did. It's evened me out a bit if nothing else, and allowed me to realise that there is hope for turning my anxiety hamster and his wheel in my head off. We haven't found the perfect balance or near to it but I have more hope than I've had in 20 years...

SMC92Ian

The Lost Sheep wrote: »

I totally disagree with you re meds. They can really help you with relaxing and focusing on other ways to help your situation.
But your first aim should be through talk therapy etc

Maybe some day, I'm embarrassed and can't open up, it's too hard.

Tell me how

SMC92Ian wrote: »

Maybe some day, I'm embarrassed and can't open up, it's too hard.

It really is so beneficial if you can get to this point.
Therapists are usually so so understanding I would be confident that if you get over the initial discomfort and find one you click with that it will be change your life.

Maybe try going to one in a different town/city to which you are living if it makes it easier.


Just to add, and this is not judging you, but if you won't go near meds and cannot open up to therapy, you really are in a difficult position.

I know that you know this and are living it every day but I really hope you build up the confidence and belief to get the professional help which is out there.

Earthsnotflat

Thats the scary thing about depression and anxiety, you desperately need help and I believe that meds can bring that help but you're just too afraid to take them, that's my case. For me, it was the thought of this initial period when maybe they didn't start to work yet or you need different one or different dosage but you might have some unpleasant side effects, so for me it would be one burden too many too bear.. especially in worse day, but as it is with depression it might be in my head only, anyways, there are cases when it's better to risk side effects than someone's life so good to know there are meds to turn to..

Tell me how

Earthsnotflat wrote: »

Thats the scary thing about depression and anxiety, you desperately need help and I believe that meds can bring that help but you're just too afraid to take them, that's my case. For me, it was the thought of this initial period when maybe they didn't start to work yet or you need different one or different dosage but you might have some unpleasant side effects, so for me it would be one burden too many too bear.. especially in worse day, but as it is with depression it might be in my head only, anyways, there are cases when it's better to risk side effects than someone's life so good to know there are meds to turn to..

I think that meds are predominantly used to raise people to a level where they can start to do other things to help themselves, talk therapy, exercise, sleep etc.

Not all Dr's will prescribe meds immediately, they will assess the patient and then try something. It could be meds first, or it could be suggesting exercise, or it could be to visit a therapist.

The Lost Sheep

Tell me how wrote: »

I think that meds are predominantly used to raise people to a level where they can start to do other things to help themselves, talk therapy, exercise, sleep etc.

I disagree from personal experience. increased exercise, involved in talk therapy individual&group CBT etc years before i started taking meds but then again it will depend on personal circumstances but i feel meds should be down the line behind other alternatives

Not all Dr's will prescribe meds immediately, they will assess the patient and then try something. It could be meds first, or it could be suggesting exercise, or it could be to visit a therapist.

Thankfully that is case now.

Checkmate19

Well once i got on the right meds it got me to a level where i come improve. Meds i think are used to help stabilise you so you can function and then doing normal things like excerise, talking to people becomes easier and the normal things get easier.

SMC92Ian

I wasn't dissing people who are on meds, I just don't like tablets, I never take them, even for flu, headaches, etc.

TG1

Checkmate19 wrote: »

Well once i got on the right meds it got me to a level where i come improve. Meds i think are used to help stabilise you so you can function and then doing normal things like excerise, talking to people becomes easier and the normal things get easier.

I'm quite new to the meds thing and am definitely not quite right with dosages etc. yet but this is already what I've found. They just even everything out a bit and suddenly not everything is a problem, so what is actually a problem that needs to be dealt with becomes a bit clearer....

Checkmate19

Meds i think your correct allow to the ability to get better by stablising you. I think they balance the chemicals and you have the right platform to get better. Tablets won't get you better they give you the tools to get better. The only way you are going to feel better is when you start enjoying things in life that you did before or new things. Tablets i feel for me have allowed me to get there. That's my experience anyway.