Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

StripedBoxers

bridgettedon wrote: »

Well that is pretty mean. It is out of jealously but I think they are forgetting that you are a person with feelings if you get me. Can I say I've never given someone 'the look', no I probably can't. I am envious of slim people but I don't try to be nasty with it. It's crazy how obsessed we are with body image these days.

Yeah it is. Yeah that's it exactly to be honest.

My former friend is overweight and has on many occasions said she wants to lose weight and I have tried to help her (she asked for my help) and she just gave up each time.

After my ex and I broke up I lost a lot of weight from not eating and being super stressed with other stuff going on in my life and this particular day I was feeling quite down at having lost the weight and she said to me that "being that skinny isn't attractive, no one wants to cuddle a stick as there's nothing to cuddle". It really stung me.

The looks etc I don't let them get to me, some of the times I've found that people will give a look without even realising it and genuinely don't mean it, but there's the ones who'll look you up and down with a filthy look on their faces.

As for the comments, they are deliberate in my experience, and quite frankly, there is no excuse for it.

I always say "think about what you are going to say, and think about how you'd feel if it was said to you, then decide whether to say it or not."

If it would offend/upset/annoy me, I won't say it cos chances are it will offend/annoy/upset whoever you say it to or say it about.......

bridgettedon

StripedBoxers wrote: »

Yeah it is. Yeah that's it exactly to be honest.

My former friend is overweight and has on many occasions said she wants to lose weight and I have tried to help her (she asked for my help) and she just gave up each time.

After my ex and I broke up I lost a lot of weight from not eating and being super stressed with other stuff going on in my life and this particular day I was feeling quite down at having lost the weight and she said to me that "being that skinny isn't attractive, no one wants to cuddle a stick as there's nothing to cuddle". It really stung me.

The looks etc I don't let them get to me, some of the times I've found that people will give a look without even realising it and genuinely don't mean it, but there's the ones who'll look you up and down with a filthy look on their faces.

As for the comments, they are deliberate in my experience, and quite frankly, there is no excuse for it.

I always say "think about what you are going to say, and think about how you'd feel if it was said to you, then decide whether to say it or not."

If it would offend/upset/annoy me, I won't say it cos chances are it will offend/annoy/upset whoever you say it to or say it about.......

That's actually a good saying. Yah that comment your friend said to you after you had split from your bf was nasty. Talk about hitting a person when they down. Ignore people who give you filthy looks, it really does say more about them than you.

I just never realised how difficult it is for some people to gain weight. It seems that everyone's body shape is critised nowadays. It's kinda sad really when you think about it. There are so many issues in the world yet we focus so much on our bodies and its perceived flaws.

Shint0

I used get a lot of bitchy comments from teenage girls/20 something women. Guys would say 'sure she would get drunk on a wine gum'. I can laugh at it now and laugh at myself but back then I was a sensitive little soul. I was on lithium for 15 years. Turns out I never needed to be on it at all but that's a whole other story. I gained a few pounds but never huge flucuations in weight. Within about two weeks of coming off lithium those extra few pounds just fell off but I know some people can gain huge weight on some meds.

StripedBoxers

bridgettedon wrote: »

That's actually a good saying. Yah that comment your friend said to you after you had split from your bf was nasty. Talk about hitting a person when they down. Ignore people who give you filthy looks, it really does say more about them than you.

I just never realised how difficult it is for some people to gain weight. It seems that everyone's body shape is critised nowadays. It's kinda sad really when you think about it. There are so many issues in the world yet we focus so much on our bodies and its perceived flaws.

Yeah it does say more about them than me, still at times it stings though.

Yeah no matter what shape or size you are, you are criticised, no matter what you look like, wear, walk, dance etc there will always be someone to criticise you, always. I find it draining tbh.

Shint0 wrote: »

I used get a lot of bitchy comments from teenage girls/20 something women. Guys would say 'sure she would get drunk on a wine gum'. I can laugh at it now and laugh at myself but back then I was a sensitive little soul. I was on lithium for 15 years. Turns out I never needed to be on it at all but that's a whole other story. I gained a few pounds but never huge flucuations in weight. Within about two weeks of coming off lithium those extra few pounds just fell off but I know some people can gain huge weight on some meds.

I've gotten the comments/looks from those in their teens and twenties too, its quite common for that age group in my experience.

One More Toy

Can i be so bold to ask for people's experiences with treatment resistant depression?

We're extra meds added on top of what you were taking?

I have my first psychiatric appointment next month and I'm curious as to what to expect

bridgettedon

StripedBoxers wrote: »

Yeah no matter what shape or size you are, you are criticised, no matter what you look like, wear, walk, dance etc there will always be someone to criticise you, always. I find it draining tbh.

I agree so much with this statement. I try to stay away from negativity as much as possible. It just brings my mood really down. People commenting on others clothes, appearance, personality, actions. It gets boring. It also makes me paranoid that others could be saying the same things about me.

carzony

Think my medication is starting to lose it's effect, Seem to be getting panic a little more often. On a different note, Was walking the dogs and witnessed a girl I used to go out with kissing another guy.. Gotta say that was tough, even though we've not been together for atleast 3-4 years..

Shint0

One More Toy wrote: »

Can i be so bold to ask for people's experiences with treatment resistant depression?

We're extra meds added on top of what you were taking?

I have my first psychiatric appointment next month and I'm curious as to what to expect

To be honest it can all depend on what registrar or consultant you get assigned to. Attitudes among doctors can vary hugely. You might be lucky and get somebody who is sympathetic and willing to explore options with you while others can have an even more detrimental effect. Hopefully you will experience the former and not the latter.

La.de.da

bridgettedon wrote: »

I agree so much with this statement. I try to stay away from negativity as much as possible. It just brings my mood really down. People commenting on others clothes, appearance, personality, actions. It gets boring. It also makes me paranoid that others could be saying the same things about me.

Having been bullied horribly throughout my childhood and adolescents for being over weight. Still am but not to the same extent.. It really angers me to see or hear people gossip about another person's size or appearance.

No two people in this world are the same. I really try not to compare myself to other women. I wear what clothes, makeup I feel like. Dye & style my hair the way I want. But I still get hung up on how I look. I guess it's deep rooted from years back.

I'd still panic passing groups of teens it's mad.

Gremlinertia

One More Toy, it's hard to know how it'll go, i've been on a combination of medication and talk therapies for about 18 months now, i think that dual approach has worked for me.. One thing i would say is bring pen and paper with you and have any things you want to say written down so you get the most out of the appointment, best of luck with it..

One More Toy

carzony wrote: »

Think my medication is starting to lose it's effect, Seem to be getting panic a little more often. On a different note, Was walking the dogs and witnessed a girl I used to go out with kissing another guy.. Gotta say that was tough, even though we've not been together for atleast 3-4 years..

I feel you there buddy. One of the many reasons I deleted my social media presence.

Anyway I'm sure it was her loss :-)

One More Toy

carzony wrote: »

Think my medication is starting to lose it's effect, Seem to be getting panic a little more often. On a different note, Was walking the dogs and witnessed a girl I used to go out with kissing another guy.. Gotta say that was tough, even though we've not been together for atleast 3-4 years..

Also with regards to the medication, 100% make sure you're taking it same time every day, I was liberal to the extent of a couple of hours give or take and that screwed me up

carzony

One More Toy wrote: »

Also with regards to the medication, 100% make sure you're taking it same time every day, I was liberal to the extent of a couple of hours give or take and that screwed me up

The time I take it has always been very,very different. Sometimes early,late,afternoon but i'll have to remember to take it early in future.

In regards to social media, It really doesnt help with the mental health does it? I somtimes find myself very down looking at others only to remember a lot of it is hyped up crap..

StripedBoxers

bridgettedon wrote: »

I agree so much with this statement. I try to stay away from negativity as much as possible. It just brings my mood really down. People commenting on others clothes, appearance, personality, actions. It gets boring. It also makes me paranoid that others could be saying the same things about me.

Yeah me too, I hate negativity, I don't understand the need or want some people have to go around criticising others, it makes no sense to me, the people who do it are usually the first to get annoyed, huffy and offended if the same is done to/said about them, yet see nothing wrong with doing it to others. It's a horribly viscous cycle.

If they bítch to you, they bítch about you, in my experience anyway.

La.de.da wrote: »

Having been bullied horribly throughout my childhood and adolescents for being over weight. Still am but not to the same extent.. It really angers me to see or hear people gossip about another person's size or appearance.

No two people in this world are the same. I really try not to compare myself to other women. I wear what clothes, makeup I feel like. Dye & style my hair the way I want. But I still get hung up on how I look. I guess it's deep rooted from years back.

I'd still panic passing groups of teens it's mad.

This is the same for me. I was bullied severely in secondary school, absolutely destroyed my confidence, the bullying caused me to develop social anxiety and it's what caused my depression to start as well.

I hate walking by groups of teens too, and some times I will cross the street to avoid walking by groups of people (teens, adults, kids etc). Just depends on my mood/anxiety on the day to be honest.

One More Toy

carzony wrote: »

The time I take it has always been very,very different. Sometimes early,late,afternoon but i'll have to remember to take it early in future.

In regards to social media, It really doesnt help with the mental health does it? I somtimes find myself very down looking at others only to remember a lot of it is hyped up crap..

It can be difficult to remember, I make a point of putting it out beside my wallet the night before so I won't leave the house without it. I read somewhere that taking it at varying times can cause an imbalance in uptake, I really suggest taking it same time every day, setting an alarm if you have to.

Yes it doesn't but you have to remember that social media is a highlight reel of people's lives, and a self projection of how those people with to be viewed by the 788 'friends' the have on Facebook

carzony

One More Toy wrote: »

Yes it doesn't but you have to remember that social media is a highlight reel of people's lives, and a self projection of how those people with to be viewed by the 788 'friends' the have on Facebook

You can even see most of the photos that go on there are edited. A friend showed me a little app that does anything you want like whiten your teeth, give you different skin colour, improve your complection ect.. If you didnt know that it'd start making you feel very self conscious.

Lately i'm starting to think social media is causing more problems than it's worth.

Gremlinertia

I take my meds at the same time in work, it's become automatic, have an alarm set for days off. Have to set a reminder for picking up new script as well my memory is dire..

carzony

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I take my meds at the same time in work, it's become automatic, have an alarm set for days off. Have to set a reminder for picking up new script as well my memory is dire..

My sleeping pattern can be all over the place and that mainly determines when I take the tabs. Tonight was the first time in a while I start feeling very intense panic. Really bring me back to a bad place. Things have gotten a little better since starting that medication but I know the problem has not been truly solved:(

Gremlinertia

I work nights so finding the right window for meds time took a while. It's so hard when motivation is at nil and memory is frazzled.. Try it if you can though, my phone alarm is what i live by mostly..

carzony

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I work nights so finding the right window for meds time took a while. It's so hard when motivation is at nil and memory is frazzled.. Try it if you can though, my phone alarm is what i live by mostly..

I think working night would be the way to go for me to. I don't think i'd be able to cope long-term with early morning and all that comes with it traffic, people, tiredness....

Gremlinertia

Same here, just seems to work out better for me, i was never a morning person anyway.. I'm professional in my work and usually left alone because of that.. I used to use nights to hide, it was an excuse to avoid everything and everyone but i'm working on that element of myself..

Shint0

carzony wrote: »

Lately i'm starting to think social media is causing more problems than it's worth.

Social comparison theory has always been around i.e. people basing their happiness on how they compare to others such as trying to keeping up with the neighbours or if someone got a B in their exam and they are delighted. Then they find out their classmate got an A and they no longer feel so thrilled about their own results. Social media only facilitates it but doesn't determine our free will. I drive a really nice car, for example, a real head turner and I know there are a lot of jealous eyes on it and others have upgraded their own cars not long after I got mine. I would happily give it away to reset the button and not deal with all the crap I have gone through in my life.

Gremlinertia

Oneupmanship is unfortunately a big part of the society we are in today. People with low self esteem and/or other issues are stomped on and left for dust.. It was a big part of my life for years and years but i've left some of it behind in the last while. Think age has had a big say in that..

carzony

I really do that I have to admit, Constantly comparing myself to others and it's rare i'm winning the comparison Again, i think facebook has drilled that into me or it could just be the way i see things..

Gremlinertia

carzony wrote: »

I really do that I have to admit, Constantly comparing myself to others and it's rare i'm winning the comparison Again, i think facebook has drilled that into me or it could just be the way i see things..

You know when you see computer games advertised (bear with me) that there is very often small print saying 'not actual gameplay' on the screen?. That's how i remind myself to look at fb pages. They are the shiny 'advertised' version of the life.. Which you or i then compare to to our own lives, usually cast in a negative light already. Sure how can we compete when we have already stacked the deck against ourselves?

Lady is a tramp

One More Toy wrote: »

Can i be so bold to ask for people's experiences with treatment resistant depression?

We're extra meds added on top of what you were taking?

I have my first psychiatric appointment next month and I'm curious as to what to expect

I find meds do feck all for my depression and anxiety. I've been through in-patient treatment for alcoholism a few times now, and when I had to do things like art-therapy and mindfulness, they really benefited my mental health. Even though I'd have been very skeptical about them! So I guess my advice would be to have a very open mind about alternative therapies.

Also, I find any form of group therapy very beneficial. The RO-DBT course I mentioned is highly recommended for TRD, and I'm finding it great listening to people who think like I do.

Gremlinertia

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

I find meds do feck all for my depression and anxiety. I've been through in-patient treatment for alcoholism a few times now, and when I had to do things like art-therapy and mindfulness, they really benefited my mental health. Even though I'd have been very skeptical about them! So I guess my advice would be to have a very open mind about alternative therapies.

Also, I find any form of group therapy very beneficial. The RO-DBT course I mentioned is highly recommended for TRD, and I'm finding it great listening to people who think like I do.

I did DBT which has large elements of mindfulness in it, mostly in group but one to one therapy too. It was brilliant, i am finding it a little difficult to keep it up now i'm finished that course but i found it so beneficial that i do try to keep at it.. The idea of a group initially horrified me but after a few weeks i relaxed when i realised i wasn't some sort of alien. As you said, hearing others who think like you is such a relief..

FortySeven

carzony wrote: »

My sleeping pattern can be all over the place and that mainly determines when I take the tabs. Tonight was the first time in a while I start feeling very intense panic. Really bring me back to a bad place. Things have gotten a little better since starting that medication but I know the problem has not been truly solved:(

You might find your sleep patterns become more regular if you take meds at the same time daily. Pick a time you are generally awake and set a daily alarm on your phone.

bridgettedon

I'm glad the social media concept has come up. I find myself comparing my life to others without realising. It also made me realise that just because another person has loads of 'friends' on fb that doesn't mean those friends are there on a day to day basis.

Also I need to start taking my meds as the same time daily. It can vary by quite a few hours most days.

Once again thanks guys.

Shint0

bridgettedon wrote: »

I'm glad the social media concept has come up. I find myself comparing my life to others without realising.

I totally understand that because we are all social animals and it's natural to do that. I suppose we can only try to control our own reactions. We are all unique and everybody follows a different path in life. Mine was always the road less taken so it's something I have had to battle a long time ago and try to find peace with long before social media became a ubiquitous presence. Regardless of what others are up to in their lives I still struggle with my own issues. I'm pretty much done with mental health services as my last experience was very negative so I will continue to try to soldier on.