Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

I'm really struggling

Jeff2

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm really struggling

Just talk about it helps..

Jeff2

I was in a bad way and boards sent me to a site that made it worse.

Be careful what information you take.


I'm fine now.

SMC92Ian

Just woke from a really nasty nightmare by swinging around and punching a concrete wall... wtf was that.

Kitty6277

I really hate anxiety because you can’t just be nervous about one thing, you have to be nervous about everything all at once. Yesterday was my first day back at work after being away studying abroad for the last 4 months, and naturally, I was a bit nervous about going back. I was texting my boyfriend before I went and then I had to totally read way too much into anything he said (or how he said it) and then I almost managed to convince myself that something was wrong between us and that he was gonna dump me. Had to leave my car in the garage overnight because I thought there may have been a problem (this wasn’t related to anxiety btw) and before I went to pick it up just before work, I had to freak out about what if it had a serious problem, what if I couldn’t drive it to work, what if I couldn’t get a taxi straight away, I’d be late and I was meant to be opening the bar. If I was late what would happen then?

As always, everything was fine, and I panicked over all that for no reason. I couldn’t just say to myself “I’m nervous about starting back” and save all the over thinking, no?

Graces7

Kitty6277 wrote: »

I really hate anxiety because you can’t just be nervous about one thing, you have to be nervous about everything all at once. Yesterday was my first day back at work after being away studying abroad for the last 4 months, and naturally, I was a bit nervous about going back. I was texting my boyfriend before I went and then I had to totally read way too much into anything he said (or how he said it) and then I almost managed to convince myself that something was wrong between us and that he was gonna dump me. Had to leave my car in the garage overnight because I thought there may have been a problem (this wasn’t related to anxiety btw) and before I went to pick it up just before work, I had to freak out about what if it had a serious problem, what if I couldn’t drive it to work, what if I couldn’t get a taxi straight away, I’d be late and I was meant to be opening the bar. If I was late what would happen then?

As always, everything was fine, and I panicked over all that for no reason. I couldn’t just say to myself “I’m nervous about starting back” and save all the over thinking, no?

Thank you for the insight you enabled here. I have only to turn the light off for it all to start.. See it as background music? Can help!

Graces7

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Just get up an eat something-yeah, I know that sounds easier said than done. But just do that. You won't regret it.
But you will regret not eating-even a bowl of cereal fills the void.

Otherwise the low blood sugars can make you more depressed. It's because you start to feel tired and drained.

wise wise words. I have erratic blood sugar levels and have to tell myself this over and over again. Keep chocolate with me at all times.

TG1

Really really struggling at the moment. It's taking all the energy I have just to hold it together and not fall apart every minute of every day.

Am doing everything I can but feeling like this makes the lifestyle changes difficult to stick to. Anyway, there is an end in sight for the biggest stressor in my life next week, so if I make it to that relatively still in one piece hopefully things will start to go in the other direction. So so tough though.

Have some "break glass in case of emergency" medication on top of my daily meds but really trying not to rely on those to get me through this.

jaxxx

You know how some people can't accept criticism? I've discovered I'm the complete opposite. I can't accept praise!

Person: "Jaxxx you're awesome"

Jaxxx: "This person is either lying or mistook some weird pills for M&Ms....."

Earthsnotflat

TG1 wrote: »

Really really struggling at the moment. It's taking all the energy I have just to hold it together and not fall apart every minute of every day.

Am doing everything I can but feeling like this makes the lifestyle changes difficult to stick to. Anyway, there is an end in sight for the biggest stressor in my life next week, so if I make it to that relatively still in one piece hopefully things will start to go in the other direction. So so tough though.

Have some "break glass in case of emergency" medication on top of my daily meds but really trying not to rely on those to get me through this.

It's cliché but sometimes it must be worse before it starts to get better. Just go into survival mode and fight hard, just to breath, it will be easier.
I watched recently documentary about Einstein, and to put it as short as possible, the proof for his theory of general relativity depended on very detailed observation of sun eclipse. He had a German scientist coming for him to Ukraine as there was the best place to observe it then, with his best equipment. A lot depended on this observation, not only theory, but Einstein being sure he would get nobel prize for this had promised the money to his wife and children as per their divorce contract.. Anyway, when time came to observe, the clouds appeared and as if this was not enough, the first world war started and the german scientist got arrested as now the prisoner of war as ukrainian soldiers took him for spy and all his sophisticated equipment confiscated.... Turned out some time later, Einstein realised some mistakes in his calculations and that this eclipse if observed wouldn't had helped him then... Sorry for long digression, I just thought that sometimes it really seems like all universe is against us ,but that's temporary, will pass, so be strong, don't lose hope

veganrun

Not having a great day today. Health anxiety has flared up and it's left me tired, irritable and not able to focus in work. Whole morning has just been a waste as I've been staring at the same thing for about 2 hours and not making any progress.

I keep thinking it but I often wish I could go back in time and be the person I was in my mid 20's. I always was a worrier and a bit nervous but back then I was much more relaxed compared to now.

I am on medication and it keeps me level most of the time but I still get the odd bad day.

TG1

Very very anxious at the moment, and your story was good to read earthsnotflat! Trying to breathe through it for the day but all getting a bit on top of me right now.

TG1

Hit a point of absolute mental exhaustion. Came home yesterday and slept for about 16 hours straight. Everything is now out of whack, I'm achey, tired, sick.

I just feel like going back to bed and covering my head for the day. trying to muster up enthusiasm to go for a walk now hoping that might sort me a bit.

BohsCeltic

TG1 wrote: »

Hit a point of absolute mental exhaustion. Came home yesterday and slept for about 16 hours straight. Everything is now out of whack, I'm achey, tired, sick.

I just feel like going back to bed and covering my head for the day. trying to muster up enthusiasm to go for a walk now hoping that might sort me a bit.

I know the feeling. I wake up feeling tired achey and sweat much. Now i know this can be due to citalapram as my friends wife has the same symptoms.
But today i brought my Nephew to the shops just to get out for a bit. Tomorrow my friend will call and we will go for a walk with our dogs. Dogs are so great, I'd be lost without my two.
It's hard for me as i have been out from work since last year so financial pressure from bank isn't helping me either.
All the letters that i am afraid to open.

I have added pressure of my ex constantly texting from her friends or family phone. I am having strange dreams and a lot of them she is in.
I miss her but i am listening to my family and friends as she was never good enough for me. That's there words not mine. I feel cheated after everything i done for her.

My Godson is staying later with me so we will watch the Rugby then get a takeaway(I don't even feel hungry but know i have to try force food down me) .

Tell me how

BohsCeltic wrote: »

I know the feeling. I wake up feeling tired achey and sweat much. Now i know this can be due to citalapram as my friends wife has the same symptoms.
But today i brought my Nephew to the shops just to get out for a bit. Tomorrow my friend will call and we will go for a walk with our dogs. Dogs are so great, I'd be lost without my two.
It's hard for me as i have been out from work since last year so financial pressure from bank isn't helping me either.
All the letters that i am afraid to open.

I have added pressure of my ex constantly texting from her friends or family phone. I am having strange dreams and a lot of them she is in.
I miss her but i am listening to my family and friends as she was never good enough for me. That's there words not mine. I feel cheated after everything i done for her.

My Godson is staying later with me so we will watch the Rugby then get a takeaway(I don't even feel hungry but know i have to try force food down me) .

Sounds like you are doing some things which are difficult for you but you know you will be in the better for doing anyway.

Would it be a massive deal to change your mobile number or would your ex get your new one ten minutes after you activate it?
Also, could you ask a friend to sit with you and open the post, some are probably from the same company so they can be grouped together and plan on how to deal with them. All advice is to engage with companies as early as possible. Services such as MABS are said to give good advice as well.

Hope ye enjoyed the takeaway.

BohsCeltic

Tell me how wrote: »

Sounds like you are doing some things which are difficult for you but you know you will be in the better for doing anyway.

Would it be a massive deal to change your mobile number or would your ex get your new one ten minutes after you activate it?
Also, could you ask a friend to sit with you and open the post, some are probably from the same company so they can be grouped together and plan on how to deal with them. All advice is to engage with companies as early as possible. Services such as MABS are said to give good advice as well.

Hope ye enjoyed the takeaway.

Thank you. I have good family and friends. I mean really good. Because i am a good person. I'm clever enough to know that and so is everyone else but sometimes emotions take over.
I don't want to change my number for one person. I tried to change someones life for better. She gets €10 a day working on rice farm. I've seen her on messenger and skype video chat working but cannot understand why she is trying to hurt someone who actually wants to help. She is not Irish so it's hard to communicate properly.

Like i fly 10000 miles many times and try to get a visa for her to come here (which is difficult).
My brain is melted by this. I'm trying to give someone a great life and we do get on really well but my family and friends told me she is not good enough for me.
Sometimes i think i am better off being a bad person to get more respect but that is not me.
Cruel world we live in. But at least I have the fighting Irish Spirit.

Emanine

I've always suffered from Depression, but the anxiety I've felt over the past 6 months is crippling me. I've become anxious about being in (what I perceive to be) confined spaces.

I've stopped meeting my friends. Stopped having a social life really.

This is all mixed with/caused by having Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It's gone to the stage where I have to leave super early for work just so I won't be stuck/stopped in traffic. I'm frightened I'll get 'caught short' if I have to go to the bathroom. It's f**king exhausting and debilitating.

waxmoth

Published today and may be of interest – a meta-analysis of studies confirms association between good diet and reduced incidence of depression.

Dr Joseph Firth, an Honorary Research fellow at The University of Manchester and Research Fellow at NICM Health Research Institute at Western Sydney University, says existing research has been unable to definitively establish if dietary improvement could benefit mental health.
But in a new study published in Psychosomatic Medicine, Dr Firth and colleagues brought together all existing data from clinical trials of diets for mental health conditions.
And the study provides convincing evidence that dietary improvement significantly reduces symptoms of depression, even in people without diagnosed depressive disorders.
Dr Firth said: “The overall evidence for the effects of diet on mood and mental well-being had up to now yet to be assessed.
“But our recent meta-analysis has done just that; showing that adopting a healthier diet can boost peoples’ mood. However, it has no clear effects on anxiety.”
The study combined data from 16 randomised controlled trials that examined the effects of dietary interventions on symptoms of depression and anxiety.

https://www.manchester.ac.uk/discover/news/healthy-diet-can-ease-symptoms-of-depression/

CakeLumps

Been a while since I posted in this. For the last 2 weeks I've been off my anti depressants. Not the most clever idea but just got lazy after the prescription ended. I noticed before that my mood had changed and been more emotional and more prone to mood swings. When I start to feel happy I feel guilty then start to feel worse. And then I feel everyone is annoyed at me/avoiding me and I feel worse.

I finished my cbt months ago as I felt I made good progress. But now I'm starting to think I should go back. Just at a point where I feel useless again.

Tell me how

CakeLumps wrote: »

Been a while since I posted in this. For the last 2 weeks I've been off my anti depressants. Not the most clever idea but just got lazy after the prescription ended. I noticed before that my mood had changed and been more emotional and more prone to mood swings. When I start to feel happy I feel guilty then start to feel worse. And then I feel everyone is annoyed at me/avoiding me and I feel worse.

I finished my cbt months ago as I felt I made good progress. But now I'm starting to think I should go back. Just at a point where I feel useless again.

Go to the person who prescribed you the meds and tell them the story. Just starting back again might not be the most advisable thing to do.

I don't intend to preach but we really have to follow instructions in this area. You're not the first to do this, I suspect they will be understanding but it's best let them decide the next steps.

CakeLumps

Tell me how wrote: »

Go to the person who prescribed you the meds and tell them the story. Just starting back again might not be the most advisable thing to do.

I don't intend to preach but we really have to follow instructions in this area. You're not the first to do this, I suspect they will be understanding but it's best let them decide the next steps.

I've been making excuses the last while not to go "I'm fine" or "I'm better" knowing full well I'm not.
It going to sound so stupid but I won these tickets in work for a thing on valentines day and I have never felt so lonely. Have no one to go with but at the same time I want to go. Don't want to sell them. Have one person I really want to go with/just really interested in and it just makes me feel so disgusted in myself.
I think everything building up is not helping at all and feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

Tell me how

CakeLumps wrote: »

I've been making excuses the last while not to go "I'm fine" or "I'm better" knowing full well I'm not.
It going to sound so stupid but I won these tickets in work for a thing on valentines day and I have never felt so lonely. Have no one to go with but at the same time I want to go. Don't want to sell them. Have one person I really want to go with/just really interested in and it just makes me feel so disgusted in myself.
I think everything building up is not helping at all and feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

Well, first things first, I would make an appointment for your Dr or psychiatrist who prescribed you the meds. Tell them the full story.

On the Valentines front, it can be a very difficult time for many people. Whoever that person is who you would like to go on the thing with, if they cared about you in any way, they would want you to look after your health first.
Once you do that, you will be in a much better place to consider other things.

Who knows, if you see your Dr, you could still go to the thing but if you end up not doing so, it most definitely is not the end of the world.

CakeLumps

Tell me how wrote: »

Well, first things first, I would make an appointment for your Dr or psychiatrist who prescribed you the meds. Tell them the full story.

On the Valentines front, it can be a very difficult time for many people. Whoever that person is who you would like to go on the thing with, if they cared about you in any way, they would want you to look after your health first.
Once you do that, you will be in a much better place to consider other things.

Who knows, if you see your Dr, you could still go to the thing but if you end up not doing so, it most definitely is not the end of the world.

It's funny, I usually never pay any attention to Valentines. I always think it's such a wasteful "holiday" but this year is different. Once I got the tickets I've been obsessing on who can I bring and realising I have no one to go with. I've been trying to be optimistic this year. Hopefully returning to college and learning to drive, but I think the stress/pressure is getting to me.

With my doctor sometimes I feel she's not really listening. That she's too blunt and robotic that I agree just so I can leave, but shes the only professional I've been to that can prescribe.

I think I'm back on this just so I can get someone else's opinion. Just fed up

Tell me how

CakeLumps wrote: »

It's funny, I usually never pay any attention to Valentines. I always think it's such a wasteful "holiday" but this year is different. Once I got the tickets I've been obsessing on who can I bring and realising I have no one to go with. I've been trying to be optimistic this year. Hopefully returning to college and learning to drive, but I think the stress/pressure is getting to me.

With my doctor sometimes I feel she's not really listening. That she's too blunt and robotic that I agree just so I can leave, but shes the only professional I've been to that can prescribe.

I think I'm back on this just so I can get someone else's opinion. Just fed up

Well, I'm no expert, but I would suggest Valentines is not the time for a first date. If you were in a relationship then sure plough on, but asking someone out for the first time to a Valentines thing just puts both people under too much pressure.

Psychiatrists can prescribe as well but they are expensive unfortunately or can take a long time for an appointment on public system.

Maybe talk to your Dr and bring someone with you for support and to be able to discuss the Dr's attitude afterwards. Have you a parent or sibling who you would feel comfortable to ask to sit in?

Maybe you could invite a non-romantic friend to the show or sell the tickets and treat yourself to something you will definitely enjoy and hopefully next year you will be in a different position.

CakeLumps

Tell me how wrote: »

Well, I'm no expert, but I would suggest Valentines is not the time for a first date. If you were in a relationship then sure plough on, but asking someone out for the first time to a Valentines thing just puts both people under too much pressure.

Psychiatrists can prescribe as well but they are expensive unfortunately or can take a long time for an appointment on public system.

Maybe talk to your Dr and bring someone with you for support and to be able to discuss the Dr's attitude afterwards. Have you a parent or sibling who you would feel comfortable to ask to sit in?

Maybe you could invite a non-romantic friend to the show or sell the tickets and treat yourself to something you will definitely enjoy and hopefully next year you will be in a different position.

My 2 siblings are out of the country, and as close as I am with my parents, I just don't want them to worry about me, hearing whats exactly going on. I might just make an appointment in another GP and see. I think its just once I go in I forget everything I was prepared to say and it's just an awkward visit of me trying to remember and feeling like the GP thinks I'm making stuff up.

I can't find anyone to go, romantic or non romantic. Everyone is doing something with the S/O and that's what's making me feel so alone. My paranoia gets the better of me, thinking that if I ask any of my guy friends they'll just think "Typical gay CakeLumps, trying any lad". I can't see that anyone would want to go, especially with the day that it is. But at the same time I really want to go, just because I really want to get just absolutely smashed (healthy way of coping: drink to forget). Going out is a rarity for me but I just cant go on my own.

Tell me how

CakeLumps wrote: »

My 2 siblings are out of the country, and as close as I am with my parents, I just don't want them to worry about me, hearing whats exactly going on. I might just make an appointment in another GP and see. I think its just once I go in I forget everything I was prepared to say and it's just an awkward visit of me trying to remember and feeling like the GP thinks I'm making stuff up.

I can't find anyone to go, romantic or non romantic. Everyone is doing something with the S/O and that's what's making me feel so alone. My paranoia gets the better of me, thinking that if I ask any of my guy friends they'll just think "Typical gay CakeLumps, trying any lad". I can't see that anyone would want to go, especially with the day that it is. But at the same time I really want to go, just because I really want to get just absolutely smashed (healthy way of coping: drink to forget). Going out is a rarity for me but I just cant go on my own.

Personally, and maybe others would differ with me on this, but I would park trying to go to this particular event at this time. Valentines is a very loaded evening and even though I am single and comfortable with that, I still won't be going to anything next Thursday purely because if is likely to be uncomfortably busy and I've no wish to be surrounded by people, at least some of who will be trying to convince themselves they are in love. Maybe ask one of your guy friends to go to something on Friday night next and have a couple of drinks. If you set this up, it might make it easier get through Thursday knowing you had something to look forward to.

But, more importantly, having a few drinks is fun, but going out with the intent of getting absolutely smashed is not a healthy way of coping. it really isn't, particularly when in a vulnerable state.

Make the appointment with either your Dr or a new one and maybe write out what it is you would like to say before going in. Just simple bullet points could really help you to communicate exactly what it is you want to say.

I hope you get some relief, you are in a tough place but it can change.

CakeLumps

Tell me how wrote: »

Personally, and maybe others would differ with me on this, but I would park trying to go to this particular event at this time. Valentines is a very loaded evening and even though I am single and comfortable with that, I still won't be going to anything next Thursday purely because if is likely to be uncomfortably busy and I've no wish to be surrounded by people, at least some of who will be trying to convince themselves they are in love. Maybe ask one of your guy friends to go to something on Friday night next and have a couple of drinks. If you set this up, it might make it easier get through Thursday knowing you had something to look forward to.

But, more importantly, having a few drinks is fun, but going out with the intent of getting absolutely smashed is not a healthy way of coping. it really isn't, particularly when in a vulnerable state.

Make the appointment with either your Dr or a new one and maybe write out what it is you would like to say before going in. Just simple bullet points could really help you to communicate exactly what it is you want to say.

I hope you get some relief, you are in a tough place but it can change.

Thank you so much for even just replying! I nearly feel better by just getting it off my chest. I'm gonna go down tomorrow and just refill my prescription anyway. Off Monday so Ill make an appointment tomorrow for then.

You're right, it is too much pressure and I've never been one to even enjoy being near "loved up" new and old couples (especially new)" but a part of me just wants to be one of them. I'll just sell and do something else.

Thanks again. Appreciate it ( Feel like I should pay an hourly rate for a therapy session )

Tell me how

CakeLumps wrote: »

Thank you so much for even just replying! I nearly feel better by just getting it off my chest. I'm gonna go down tomorrow and just refill my prescription anyway. Off Monday so Ill make an appointment tomorrow for then.

You're right, it is too much pressure and I've never been one to even enjoy being near "loved up" new and old couples (especially new)" but a part of me just wants to be one of them. I'll just sell and do something else.

Thanks again. Appreciate it ( Feel like I should pay an hourly rate for a therapy session )

When you get the chance to give a few words of encouragement to someone, take it.

Good luck.

BohsCeltic

CakeLumps wrote: »

My 2 siblings are out of the country, and as close as I am with my parents, I just don't want them to worry about me, hearing whats exactly going on. I might just make an appointment in another GP and see. I think its just once I go in I forget everything I was prepared to say and it's just an awkward visit of me trying to remember and feeling like the GP thinks I'm making stuff up.

I can't find anyone to go, romantic or non romantic. Everyone is doing something with the S/O and that's what's making me feel so alone. My paranoia gets the better of me, thinking that if I ask any of my guy friends they'll just think "Typical gay CakeLumps, trying any lad". I can't see that anyone would want to go, especially with the day that it is. But at the same time I really want to go, just because I really want to get just absolutely smashed (healthy way of coping: drink to forget). Going out is a rarity for me but I just cant go on my own.

Drinking to forget is what i had being doing. It's not a solution though. It will not help one bit, trust me please.

I'won't be alone valetines day as i have good family and friends. What's eating me inside still is the thought of trying to make someones life better but she treated me with no respect.
I tried to better someone's life, her loss in reality as i know i am a much kinder loving person than her. She tried to call me many times but i didn't answer as i know it will just mess my head up more.
You wouldn't believe half of the stuff i done for this girl and her family. But for what ? For her to melt my brain.

I'll get back up on my own two feet and fight back.

TG1

Had a really good week this week. I think tackling the obvious source of stress head on last week, while awful in the moment, might have been a good thing.

I'm also about two months into taking daily magnesium and calcium, as well as about a month and a half into a dosage tweak of medication and it all seems to be coming together.

On top of that I've found a psychologist I like and have another appointment next week, that I'm looking forward to instead of dreading.

Hopefully this is the start of things turning round for me a bit.