Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

TG1

At a point in life where I have to choose between career prospects, ambitions, opportunities, career related hopes and dreams etc. and mental health.

I know which I have to pick but it's a hard decision when 7 months ago I thought I had found the dream job that I would stay in and progress and learn. But I am more than my career. Bitter pill to swallow tonight but I know the set of circumstances that resurrected the anxiety monster in my brain are not the circumstances to stay in. Tonight its all a lot to wrap the head round though.

TG1

The physicality of anxiety has caught me off guard. I had accepted the palpitations, the nausea, the vomiting, the physical exhaustion... Today the tremors and twitches and muscle cramps have caught me off guard. I'm learning about this every day. Anyway, every blip is surmountable, that's what I am trying to remind myself of today.

BohsCeltic

TG1 wrote: »

The physicality of anxiety has caught me off guard. I had accepted the palpitations, the nausea, the vomiting, the physical exhaustion... Today the tremors and twitches and muscle cramps have caught me off guard. I'm learning about this every day. Anyway, every blip is surmountable, that's what I am trying to remind myself of today.

I got all of that too, especially the twitches. I stopped drinking coffee and they went away. Might not work for everyone but worked for me.

Hermes Trismegistus

Evening folks.

Just curious - have any of you tried iMindCoach.ie? They were recommended to me by a former patient of theirs who found great success with them for their anxiety. The method they use is Hypnotherapy.

I thought I'd give it a shot as I've tried everything else over the years; talk therapy, medications both prescribed and not prescribed and I have to sort this out as its been going on since I'm 13, and now I'm 31 and I cant even work due to the severity of it at this stage. I can just about attend college courses, which is an achievement but I need to rid my life of this.

I've been in touch with them myself for my own issues with anxiety (and subsequent depression) and am awaiting a call back. Just wondering if anyone has had any experience with them. A quick google search will bring up their website - their guarantee seems almost too good to be true so I'm skeptical, but I'll try anything at this stage.

SMC92Ian

I want to go to Comic Con tomorrow but anxiety and my stupid brain are stopping me... been trying to force myself to get up and go but just feel down.

BohsCeltic

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I want to go to Comic Con tomorrow but anxiety and my stupid brain are stopping me... been trying to force myself to get up and go but just feel down.

You can do it. Yesterday i had to go to my godson's confirmation, didn't even feel like getting out of bed. I was worrying about the meal after it because my anxiety doesn't help my appetite.
I went and was so happy i did go, much of my extended family were there too so had a good chat with them all.

I mentioned on here before that i had to walk my Sister down the aisle for her wedding and also do a speech at the reception.
I done it because i would have regretted it.

Sometimes the thought of missing out on things motivates you.

SMC92Ian

BohsCeltic wrote: »

You can do it. Yesterday i had to go to my godson's confirmation, didn't even feel like getting out of bed. I was worrying about the meal after it because my anxiety doesn't help my appetite.
I went and was so happy i did go, much of my extended family were there too so had a good chat with them all.

I mentioned on here before that i had to walk my Sister down the aisle for her wedding and also do a speech at the reception.
I done it because i would have regretted it.

Sometimes the thought of missing out on things motivates you.

I've nobody to go with an will be on my own, it's okay I'll stay at home. Be okay.

Tell me how

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I want to go to Comic Con tomorrow but anxiety and my stupid brain are stopping me... been trying to force myself to get up and go but just feel down.

Please plan to go. Even if you just tell yourself that you are only going to go to the venue. You are going to get on a bus/train etc. Go to the venue. Spend a few minutes outside. And then go home.

If you do this, I really think you will change your mind and go in for ten minutes. If you go to the door, then turnaround and come home, at least you'll have made some effort.
Deciding today to simply not go is easy (but painful maybe in other ways, I understand that) but it is in your better interest to try to get there.

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I've nobody to go with an will be on my own, it's okay I'll stay at home. Be okay.

just tell yourself that YOU want to go. I've gone to several countries, concerts, plays, movies, other events on my own and while companionship would be wonderful, I still come home with the positive memories of the experience rather than dwelling on anything else.

Also, and this cannot be overstated, if you go, you are infinitely more likely to enjoy yourself and maybe meet someone who you can plan the next trip with than if you were to stay at home.

I know it is easy say all the above. Be easy on yourself and know that if you plan to go but ultimately do not, at least you tried to make a plan.

BohsCeltic

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I've nobody to go with an will be on my own, it's okay I'll stay at home. Be okay.

Try and go. 2 weeks ago i had to fly to Germany alone for my friends stags(He's Scottish). I didn't want to go but also didn't want to let him down.
When i was at my lowest point i had a holiday to Thailand booked but didn't want to go but i went and i was on my own. If i can travel to the other side of the wold alone you can go to comic con.

Getting out of your room does really help. Take care.

One More Toy

Does anyone have any experience of lithium for treatment resistant depression? Curious to hear from anyone about it, my psychiatrist is leaning towards prescribing it

SMC92Ian

Sorry to let you down guys, I didn't go.

Tell me how

SMC92Ian wrote: »

Sorry to let you down guys, I didn't go.

You didn't let anyone down.

This whole process is about fighting hard to take tiny steps. First step is to want to do something. You're there.

Look forward. Think of the next opportunity.

TG1

Down few weeks had. Struggling to come out of it. Work isnt helping but I cant blame it completely. Just have zero motivation to do all the things I am supposed to do to help myself. Even cancelled my psychologist appointment last week cos I was just too busy in work. I know thats not ok but just cant figure a balance out at the moment.

TG1

Was really on the way up until things took a turn two weeks ago. as of today, we stepped up my medication,signed off work, not really sure whats going on. Need to do a lot of soul searching this week. Not sure how I ended up here from where I was a couple of weeks ago. I was actually seeing a light after 30 odd years of anxiety.

Gremlinertia

Tg1 it's terrible really, there doesn't seem to be any straight lines with mental health.. Try not to let this dip dictate things too much it could be that the tide has gone out on you so to speak, that's temporary though so change will occur again soon..
I've been clinging hard to that the last few days, internally things haven't been great and external events recently have really given me a bettering too. Hope you ride this out ok..

Squatter

One of my offspring ha started to live a long way from home and far from the family GP who has been very helpful with his depressive condition. He's about to embark on CBT and his GP has recommended that he find a new GP in his locality as he only comes home every month or six weeks.

If it isn't against the forum rules, would anyone be able to recommend a competent and sympathetic GP in the D7 (Drumcondra/Phibsborough) area please? - PM preferred.

Squatter

Squatter wrote: »

One of my offspring ha started to live a long way from home and far from the family GP who has been very helpful with his depressive condition. He's about to embark on CBT and his GP has recommended that he find a new GP in his locality as he only comes home every month or six weeks.

If it isn't against the forum rules, would anyone be able to recommend a competent and sympathetic GP in the D7 (Drumcondra/Phibsborough) area please? - PM preferred.

There is a great couple of doctors in Ballygall (Cremore Clinic) which is a short bus journey / 20 min walk away.

They were very helpful to me

TG1

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Tg1 it's terrible really, there doesn't seem to be any straight lines with mental health.. Try not to let this dip dictate things too much it could be that the tide has gone out on you so to speak, that's temporary though so change will occur again soon..
I've been clinging hard to that the last few days, internally things haven't been great and external events recently have really given me a bettering too. Hope you ride this out ok..

Thanks Grem, yeh I've taken a bit of a battering work wise, and am just tired I think. It all just sort of got on top of me. My gp is great, just took no sh*t from me yesterday, packed me off to the folks house by the beach to reset and adjust to the meds tweak. Hopefully all will be heading in the right direction again shortly.

Look after yourself too grem, you're so supportive on all these threads, it's easy to forget you have a real life going on too!

TG1

Has anyone any advice around being signed off work? After much arguments my gp convinced me to take a cert. I'm three days in now and I find I'm more stressed being out of work, even though I was having at least weekly panic attacks while working.

Now I just find I'm in a constant heightened state, checking emails and the phone constantly just in case. If I call up the gp office are they likely to give me a fit to return before the end date of the cert? I really think I'd be happier just ploughing on with it.

TG1

TG1 wrote: »

Has anyone any advice around being signed off work? After much arguments my gp convinced me to take a cert. I'm three days in now and I find I'm more stressed being out of work, even though I was having at least weekly panic attacks while working.

Now I just find I'm in a constant heightened state, checking emails and the phone constantly just in case. If I call up the gp office are they likely to give me a fit to return before the end date of the cert? I really think I'd be happier just ploughing on with it.

The doctor obviously thinks that you should take it handy. First thing I would do is get rid of the phone. If you need to check it at all, do it at 1pm every day and give yourself an hour to sort out any pressing issues.

You need more time to adjust. I was off work for 3 months but only felt any benefit after 2 or 3 weeks.

Take some time to do things that make you happy. A walk, cinema, or just a day on the couch.

Easier said than done, I know. But give yourself a chance to unwind before you plough ahead back into the old routine.

Tell me how

Exactly what the dunne said.

This is probably something which you need to be out of work so long that you have forgotten about work and just focused on your health. Do you they have a sick pay policy where you work? It should be in the employee handbook (if it exists) or available from HR which you are entitled to have without declaring that you may end up being out long term.

I was out for 6 months in one block years ago. I needed it.

TG1

Tell me how wrote: »

Exactly what the dunne said.

This is probably something which you need to be out of work so long that you have forgotten about work and just focused on your health. Do you they have a sick pay policy where you work? It should be in the employee handbook (if it exists) or available from HR which you are entitled to have without declaring that you may end up being out long term.

I was out for 6 months in one block years ago. I needed it.

Thanks for the responses. I know, I'm being ridiculous, and my gp was fairly stern with me about taking the cert. Duty of care and not going into an environment that is causing the increased symptoms were mentioned a lot.

No, I'm not entitled to any pay, gp has given me all the forms for SW. I just feel I went out because of the working relationship (or lack thereof) between me and my manager and all I'm giving them is ammo to use against me now.

I am HR (ironically enough) so I know that's not how it works, but when is anxiety ever rational??

This isn't ammo. You aren't well. **** them. Look after yourself. You owe them nothing. You need to do whatever it takes to make you better.

BohsCeltic

TG1 wrote: »

Thanks for the responses. I know, I'm being ridiculous, and my gp was fairly stern with me about taking the cert. Duty of care and not going into an environment that is causing the increased symptoms were mentioned a lot.

No, I'm not entitled to any pay, gp has given me all the forms for SW. I just feel I went out because of the working relationship (or lack thereof) between me and my manager and all I'm giving them is ammo to use against me now.

I am HR (ironically enough) so I know that's not how it works, but when is anxiety ever rational??

Listen to your GP . My manager kept saying for me to push myself to go back to work. I was out for one month and went back. Wrong decision. Now i am out nearly one year. Look after yourself. You are number one !

TG1

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Listen to your GP . My manager kept saying for me to push myself to go back to work. I was out for one month and went back. Wrong decision. Now i am out nearly one year. Look after yourself. You are number one !

I actually feel like im losing my mind today. I have fully convinced myself that I will go back in at the end of this cert to have my contract terminated, and all I can do is dwell on that thought. All the walks and trips out and activities are doing nothing at all to stop the panic cycle. This is the lowest I have ever ever been.

Ariadne

TG1 wrote: »

I actually feel like im losing my mind today. I have fully convinced myself that I will go back in at the end of this cert to have my contract terminated, and all I can do is dwell on that thought. All the walks and trips out and activities are doing nothing at all to stop the panic cycle. This is the lowest I have ever ever been.

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling TG1. I find myself in the same position when I'm worried about something, all the activities in the world won't distract me from the fear or worrying thoughts. I hope you're in a better place today.



I am so fcuking pissed off with BPD today. I just feel like other people can't understand me at all, and I can't understand them. A total disconnect there, like my brain is wired differently. Which I guess it is. I'd go and tell everyone to fcuk off if I didn't need them so much. Ugh. I just wish I had the ability to make myself feel better but I always have to look for comfort somewhere else.

TG1

Thanks succubus_ sorry to hear you are also struggling. I'm the same, the minute I hit a low all I want is to hide away till I can fix it all myself, but it never works.

Inevitably I end up relying on others, and always feel like a burden. Sometimes people can be really well meaning but just say or do the wrong thing out of ignorance.

I dont know much about BPD, but I know all about anxiety. Today I voiced how worried about my job I was and my dad said "sure there's no point worrying until your meeting on Monday".

He is right but I actually wanted to box him, even though I'm living in his house, eating his food etc. Because my doctor wouldn't let me stay in my own house while off work as I live alone and he didnt think it would be good for me...

SMC92Ian

Does anyone here deal with that thing where you think your sick. Talking about symptoms of things on TV and now I'm having a panic attack with a slight headache worrying if I'm having a stroke or to watch for signs of it now... ****ing hell what am I like.

SMC92Ian

SMC92Ian wrote:

Does anyone here deal with that thing where you think your sick. Talking about symptoms of things on TV and now I'm having a panic attack with a slight headache worrying if I'm having a stroke or to watch for signs of it now... ****ing hell what am I like.

Every. Single. Day.

You aren't alone with that one mate. It's a bastard.

Graces7

SMC92Ian wrote: »

Does anyone here deal with that thing where you think your sick. Talking about symptoms of things on TV and now I'm having a panic attack with a slight headache worrying if I'm having a stroke or to watch for signs of it now... ****ing hell what am I like.

ditch the TV? I did that 30 years ago and never regretted it. Now i choose what I see and hear and with youtube that works fine.

I have more than enough real illnesses without adding to them .. go for a walk etc.