Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Graces7

TG1 wrote: »

Thanks succubus_ sorry to hear you are also struggling. I'm the same, the minute I hit a low all I want is to hide away till I can fix it all myself, but it never works.

Inevitably I end up relying on others, and always feel like a burden. Sometimes people can be really well meaning but just say or do the wrong thing out of ignorance.

I dont know much about BPD, but I know all about anxiety. Today I voiced how worried about my job I was and my dad said "sure there's no point worrying until your meeting on Monday".

He is right but I actually wanted to box him, even though I'm living in his house, eating his food etc. Because my doctor wouldn't let me stay in my own house while off work as I live alone and he didnt think it would be good for me...

can you not go away altogether? new scene..

Graces7

having just recently developed th eterrifying vestibular disease..... y#day thought I was literally dying with it.. I have a new tack and new determination... No illness is going to stop me LIVING, GIVING. getting pleasure from small things .

Being as chosenly isolated and on my own works for me too.. No need to fit in with others' ideas or opinions. just face the reality, and work on however I can.

TG1

Back to work on monday, the big A kicking in already. I think at this point even getting in the office door will be a win. Not sure if I'll even be able to hold it together for one day.

Skybirdjb

Hi everyone
First time poster here . Not even sure what I want to say ! Been suffering with PTSD and anxiety for the last 7 months and it seems like a never ending roller coaster of emotions . Been getting cbt therapy for 4 months and it is helping but just can't wait to feel like me again . Does that even make sense ???

Skybirdjb

Skybirdjb wrote:

Hi everyone First time poster here . Not even sure what I want to say ! Been suffering with PTSD and anxiety for the last 7 months and it seems like a never ending roller coaster of emotions . Been getting cbt therapy for 4 months and it is helping but just can't wait to feel like me again . Does that even make sense ???

Sure does buddy. Im sure it rings true to 99.9% of us here.

We are all here to help though.

Skybirdjb

Thanks for the reply !
It seems hard to actually put into words how I actually feel mabey feel alone and a bit isolated . I'm a great person at "putting on the face " . Hope ye are all doing ok today

TG1

Skybirdjb wrote: »

Thanks for the reply !
It seems hard to actually put into words how I actually feel mabey feel alone and a bit isolated . I'm a great person at "putting on the face " . Hope ye are all doing ok today

Yeh, I know that feeling well, you dont want to be a burden so you put on the everything is fine face, but when people take that at face value you are left to deal with something that is really hard to deal with by yourself.

I've found regular sessions with a psychologist really helpful, she is making me explore why I do things rather than just saying do it this way instead... I think its all trial and error until you hit on a combination of things that work for you and your life.

Skybirdjb

Yeah that's exactly it ! I'm getting weekly cbt therapy in the hospital and they are great . Doc has given me tablets for the anxiety but I can't get myself to start taking them for some reason like I'm a failure if I take them ???

Nice to talk to some people who understand 😀

TG1

Skybirdjb wrote: »

Yeah that's exactly it ! I'm getting weekly cbt therapy in the hospital and they are great . Doc has given me tablets for the anxiety but I can't get myself to start taking them for some reason like I'm a failure if I take them ???

Nice to talk to some people who understand 😀

I was really resistant to taking anything initially, I had a bad experience with one medication when I was about 12 and was hysterical when my gp suggested I try it again.

But, I have to say, after he eventually talked me round I'm now delighted he did. The medication is just giving me another tool in the box to fight the anxiety. I'm all over the shop myself at the moment and it is just taking the edge off enough to give me the clarity to see anxiety for what it is, an illness that can be treated and beaten.

I'm not saying its the solution for everyone, but it really helped me just get back a little bit of control.

Skybirdjb

TG1 wrote: »

I was really resistant to taking anything initially, I had a bad experience with one medication when I was about 12 and was hysterical when my gp suggested I try it again.

But, I have to say, after he eventually talked me round I'm now delighted he did. The medication is just giving me another tool in the box to fight the anxiety. I'm all over the shop myself at the moment and it is just taking the edge off enough to give me the clarity to see anxiety for what it is, an illness that can be treated and beaten.

I'm not saying its the solution for everyone, but it really helped me just get back a little bit of control.

Your right really it is a tool to use . Might give them a go this week . Read your back to work tomorrow hope it goes ok for you .

TG1

Skybirdjb wrote: »

Your right really it is a tool to use . Might give them a go this week . Read your back to work tomorrow hope it goes ok for you .

Thanks so much. So so nervous, I know there will be no sleep had tonight but ive broken it down into steps for myself. Getting into the office will be the first step, if I can do that then I'll worry about the next step.

TG1

TG1 wrote:

Thanks so much. So so nervous, I know there will be no sleep had tonight but ive broken it down into steps for myself. Getting into the office will be the first step, if I can do that then I'll worry about the next step.

We are all only ever a PM away. You'll do great!

Skybirdjb

Yeah take it in stages , every stage a little victory . You will do great I'm sure .

Kitty6277

TG1 wrote: »

Getting into the office will be the first step, if I can do that then I'll worry about the next step.

I find that works for me when I’m particularly anxious about something. Getting in the door, that’s all you have to do. And then when you get in, all you have to do is go upstairs/to your desk/wherever. But don’t think of that till you get in the office door.

Best of luck, you’ll do great x

Listening to Johann Hari's audiobook "Lost Connections". It's very good. I think I'm gonna join the amish.

Skybirdjb

Hope your day is going ok TG1

TG1

Thanks a mill! Managed to last the day anyway, thats a start I suppose!

BohsCeltic

TG1 wrote: »

Thanks a mill! Managed to last the day anyway, thats a start I suppose!

That's great well done. I am exactly 1 year off sick from work now so feeling really anxious going back after being out for so long.
I know once i get the first day over i will be fine but it's the fear of actually walking in and meeting everyone.
And the funny thing is i know everyone will be so happy to see me back so i shouldn't worry but i can't stop worrying.

I've to see a psychiatrist in a couple of weeks so hopefully get to the root of my problems and just get back to being the normal me.

I don't want to let my job down either as they have been so good, they are paying for CBT and also psychiatrist. That is a lot of money.

Skybirdjb

TG1 wrote: »

Thanks a mill! Managed to last the day anyway, thats a start I suppose!

Well done that's such a great start . Even the thought of going back to work puts me in overdrive !

TG1

It was a pretty rough day to be honest, at home now just crying away ti myself, cant stop. But ill put the face and the high heels on tomorrow and do it all over again and repeat until it gets easier again!

petes

I'm just a reader but have to say well done TG1 🙂

Skybirdjb

Oh I hope your ok . You should be really really proud of yourself . Be nice to yourself after a tough day . I have to go for monthly meetings in work and I cry all the way home to myself. The hardest thing was going in today ..... Virtual hug

I'm having a mini meltdown today....

Sitting at my desk typing this and i feel that everything is distorted around me. Voices, faces and me.. I feel like shouting, running away and collapsing (all at the same time).

Horrible thoughts have been creeping back over the last week and while I was used to them at night they are starting to come forward to be part of my days.

Sorry needed to vent

Gremlinertia

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm having a mini meltdown today....

Sitting at my desk typing this and i feel that everything is distorted around me. Voices, faces and me.. I feel like shouting, running away and collapsing (all at the same time).

Horrible thoughts have been creeping back over the last week and while I was used to them at night they are starting to come forward to be part of my days.

Sorry needed to vent

I hear you. I feel like everything is dripping around me.. I know I need to go and rest but there is this thing in me that wants to continue the suffering.

I hold on to two things, only inward breathes by my nose and repeating "this too shall pass" make up your own non stressful phrase, hold your knees and breathe

Skybirdjb

Dunne hope your ok , I also do breathing in for 4 seconds through my nose then out for 6 from the tummy not chest .
Grem I too say "this too will pass " and I have a note by my bed saying " I'm ok , I'm safe " which I read often

Skybirdjb

Tg1 hope your second day was ok

Dubbed hope your feeling a bit better

Skybirdjb

Tg1 hope your second day was ok

Dunne hope your feeling a bit better

Skybirdjb

Why do work have to keep sending letters for meetings ??? Really does not help the anxiety at all . Was ok this morning then I get the letter and now I'm a wreak

Skybirdjb

Skybirdjb wrote:

Why do work have to keep sending letters for meetings ??? Really does not help the anxiety at all . Was ok this morning then I get the letter and now I'm a wreak

Ugh. I know that feeling. Had mad chest palpitations last night but knew my heart wasn't racing. Doesn't help when im in the house on my own but remembered the last time that I had one of those attacks and remembered that as you guys say, this will pass. Ended up taking some of my "in case of emergency" meds.

Bit of sleep would be nice today. Can't wait to finish work

Skybirdjb

I mean I'm certified out by doctors I'm getting all the help that I can , I'm doing everything I can to get better and ye already make me ring every Monday with an "update" as if I'm magically going to get better in 1 week !

Hope work goes ok for you , and u get a bit of rest after . Virtual hugs