Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Shint0

FortySeven wrote: »

I'm off work today and I wish I'd gone in. My dad died this morning and I'm just sitting watching judge rinder feeling sorry for myself. Going back to work tomorrow. It's the only contact I have with others these days.

Really need to change my life.

Sorry to hear that. I remember seeing some of your previous posts. I went through something similar exactly this time last year. I know in the months prior and leading up to it a lot of issues were triggered for me from growing up. I remember I used think over my life when their time would come what would I actually say to them but they were very ill so it wasn't really appropiate. I did take care of all the practical arrangements of their care. I did it out of a sense of obilgation and I suppose compassion and humanity for a dying person. Yet I couldn't tell them they had been the best parent the way most children probably do in that situation. Those words just wouldn't come. In a way it wasn't really their fault but I was very mentally scarred from growing up snd still feel the ripple effects of it all. It's like the gift that keeps on giving!!
When they passed I did feel a sense of relief and freedom, and for the first time in my life started to have clarity and a sense of hope about the future but in the months that followed something absolutely horrific and bizzare happened which rocked my world again.
I know funerals here now are usually over two days. It used to be always three because it was always said the soul hangs around for three days before it passes on. If I could suggest maybe lighting a candle over the next few days, keep it burning and cry, scream, get angry or just stare at it and let whatever comes up come up until it finally burns out and let whatever comes up just go out with it. Regardless of religious belief it can be at least symbolic.
I'm off now to collect the ashes of my dog who passed away a few weeks ago. A little dog that kept me from going under so many times and kept me grounded. A different kind of loss.
I wish you peace over the next few days.

Hugo Stiglitz

FortySeven wrote: »

I'm off work today and I wish I'd gone in. My dad died this morning and I'm just sitting watching judge rinder feeling sorry for myself. Going back to work tomorrow. It's the only contact I have with others these days.

Really need to change my life.

Sorry for your loss.

La.de.da

FortySeven wrote: »

I'm off work today and I wish I'd gone in. My dad died this morning and I'm just sitting watching judge rinder feeling sorry for myself. Going back to work tomorrow. It's the only contact I have with others these days.

Really need to change my life.

Sorry for your loss.

bridgettedon

Sorry for your loss FortySeven.

Does anyone get their antid for the prescription period all at once or get month by month. I'm sick of going to the pharmacy every month. However I'm worried if they will say no for getting the meds in one go as I would be embarrassed.

Also does anyone have vhi private health insurance, I do but it's only basic. I'm thinking of going up in level in order to get care privately in the future. Any idea of costs?

One More Toy

FortySeven wrote: »

I'm off work today and I wish I'd gone in. My dad died this morning and I'm just sitting watching judge rinder feeling sorry for myself. Going back to work tomorrow. It's the only contact I have with others these days.

Really need to change my life.

My condolences 47 that's awful news to digest. Don't be too hard on yourself mate, if going back into work is what you think you need fire away, at the same time don't push yourself too hard. Thoughts are with you pal

One More Toy

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I've been on it for a few years now. It can be a strong enough drug.


Anxiety is bad today here in work. Am trying the mindfulness exercise for the last two hours.

Yeah I'm feeling the effects of it today already even though I got the script at 3pm! Bloody expensive though, it's gonna end up pushing me into the drugs payment scheme. Do you think it's has a positive impact on you?

Tell me how

bridgettedon wrote:

Does anyone get their antid for the prescription period all at once or get month by month. I'm sick of going to the pharmacy every month. However I'm worried if they will say no for getting the meds in one go as I would be embarrassed.

Pretty sure the longestvtetm meds can be dispensed for is one month. This is also the period for DPS allowances so don't think there's a way around it.

If you go to the same pharmacy each time, I suggest you leave your prescription with them and then ring the morning of the day you are going to call in. They can have it ready and it's much quicker.

Hugo Stiglitz

One More Toy wrote: »

Yeah I'm feeling the effects of it today already even though I got the script at 3pm! Bloody expensive though, it's gonna end up pushing me into the drugs payment scheme. Do you think it's has a positive impact on you?

I find that it helps me sleep better.

I'm on a high enough dose so I was worried that it was causing me some issues with concentrating/understanding stuff. However, I've since had the dose lowered but still have the same issues, so I think I'm just a bit thick! Haha

FortySeven

bridgettedon wrote: »

Sorry for your loss FortySeven.

Does anyone get their antid for the prescription period all at once or get month by month. I'm sick of going to the pharmacy every month. However I'm worried if they will say no for getting the meds in one go as I would be embarrassed.

Also does anyone have vhi private health insurance, I do but it's only basic. I'm thinking of going up in level in order to get care privately in the future. Any idea of costs?

Thanks everyone for the condolences. I'm not as bad as I thought I would be.

I'm sick of going to the pharmacy too. I find it difficult to remember to order my prescription in advance and always end up pissing off the receptionist at the doctors asking for one that day. The cost is annoying too. I could buy enough lithium online to do me a year for 7 Euro but instead I'm paying more than that a month.

Lady is a tramp

I'm being readmitted to hospital tomorrow and it's a whole load of ****. After a two month stint and I'd been doing so well. ****ity frick balls.

Shint0

I have a appointment with my GP tomorrow for various health tests. The last few times I have been in he keeps asking me if I want to go back on Effexor. My huge problem is motivation. The meds I really need I have been refused and his hands are tied aswell as they are restricted. Effexor was the only thing that ever really helped but only marginally. Haven't beeen on anything for a long time. I feel like a bit of a failure to be honest if I have to go back on an anti-depressant again as the depression is secondary. How do other people feel if you had been on meds then had to go back on them again?

One More Toy

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

I'm being readmitted to hospital tomorrow and it's a whole load of ****. After a two month stint and I'd been doing so well. ****ity frick balls.

Sorry to hear that lady, think of it as a little bump in the road

One More Toy

Shint0 wrote: »

I have a appointment with my GP tomorrow for various health tests. The last few times I have been in he keeps asking me if I want to go back on Effexor. My huge problem is motivation. The meds I really need I have been refused and his hands are tied aswell as they are restricted. Effexor was the only thing that ever really helped but only marginally. Haven't beeen on anything for a long time. I feel like a bit of a failure to be honest if I have to go back on an anti-depressant again as the depression is secondary. How do other people feel if you had been on meds then had to go back on them again?

You're not a failure. To me you are being proactive with your health

Shint0

Thanks. Yes I know you are right and logically in my head I know that's the best way to look at it. I still have a bit of a hang-up about it all the same. I will see how it goes with the GP tomorrow.

bridgettedon

Shint0 wrote: »

Thanks. Yes I know you are right and logically in my head I know that's the best way to look at it. I still have a bit of a hang-up about it all the same. I will see how it goes with the GP tomorrow.

I have had my meds reduced then increased as I wasn't coping well. I was really eager to reduce the meds. However I was equally eager to go back on them in the end. My body just needs them. A diabetic person doesn't deny themselves insulin. Don't deny yourself something because it makes you feel like a failure. Like someone else mentioned you are being proactive with your health. Best of luck.

mansize

FortySeven wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the condolences. I'm not as bad as I thought I would be.

I'm sick of going to the pharmacy too. I find it difficult to remember to order my prescription in advance and always end up pissing off the receptionist at the doctors asking for one that day. The cost is annoying too. I could buy enough lithium online to do me a year for 7 Euro but instead I'm paying more than that a month.

Sorry about your loss also

StripedBoxers

mansize wrote: »

Getting the clothes out to dry was a little win today

I said the same thing. On Weds I managed to get two lots of clothes dry outside. Delighted I was.

FortySeven wrote: »

I'm off work today and I wish I'd gone in. My dad died this morning and I'm just sitting watching judge rinder feeling sorry for myself. Going back to work tomorrow. It's the only contact I have with others these days.

Really need to change my life.

I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope you are doing okay, I hope things start improving for you soon

bridgettedon wrote: »

Sorry for your loss FortySeven.

Does anyone get their antid for the prescription period all at once or get month by month. I'm sick of going to the pharmacy every month. However I'm worried if they will say no for getting the meds in one go as I would be embarrassed.

Also does anyone have vhi private health insurance, I do but it's only basic. I'm thinking of going up in level in order to get care privately in the future. Any idea of costs?

I hate going to the pharmacy too but they won't give more than one script at a time without my doctor approving it for me, and there is no way he would do that given how my anxiety and depression have been up and down the last while. I don't blame him at all, he is only looking out for me and my mental health.

I don't have private health insurance, but my mum does, she is on the basic plan with VHI and its €51 a month.

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

I'm being readmitted to hospital tomorrow and it's a whole load of ****. After a two month stint and I'd been doing so well. ****ity frick balls.

So sorry to hear this. I hope you are doing okay and I hope things start improving for you soon.

Hugo Stiglitz

The dreaded gagging sensation, along with its accompanying spike in anxiety, has become a constant part of my life again. It's dragging me down again like it did years ago. This is hugely disappointing, especially now of all times.

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

The dreaded gagging sensation, along with its accompanying spike in anxiety, has become a constant part of my life again. It's dragging me down again like it did years ago. This is hugely disappointing, especially now of all times.

Feck, sorry to hear it's back.. Have you made any recent changes to your routine at all?

Stealthfins

I find surfing and bodyboarding great when the Dark clouds start to surround me.
Because when I'm out there in the water all I'm thinking about is the scenery and next wave.
I'm on lustral again after a 5 year break,was doing OK until last Christmas.
50 mg a day is what suits me,probably on them for 6 months then hopefully taper down.
Ssri's suit me best,I suffer from anxiety and reactive depression.

I think the lack of sunlight this winter has a lot to do with my drop in serotonin.

Gremlinertia

I think the lack of sunlight does a lot to people and many are unaware. I did a fair bit of walking both home from and back to work yesterday and the simple pleasure of the sun on my skin was a kind of relief.. Pondering what extra to do now between swimming or yoga..

Shint0

I've always known from when I was a very young child that my circadian rhythm is just "off", completely ar$eways, like dancing to a different beat. Being born in the northern latitudes really didn't help. Ideally I want to move to a different climate where I might be able to function better but can I motivate myself to get out of my current funk to actually do that? :rolleyes: Catch 22.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Feck, sorry to hear it's back.. Have you made any recent changes to your routine at all?

Not really. Just being more social is all.

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Not really. Just being more social is all.

Be brave and stay the path man, doing well tackling the socialising aspect..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Be brave and stay the path man, doing well tackling the socialising aspect..

Thanks Grem.

bridgettedon

I'm thinking I will start some form of counselling again. I feel I am struggling in a few areas of life. When will this all end?

Tell me how

bridgettedon wrote:

I'm thinking I will start some form of counselling again. I feel I am struggling in a few areas of life. When will this all end?

Positive step B. Well done.
It will end. Someday.

Hugo Stiglitz

Ruminating like a mofo here today.

Tell me how

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

Ruminating like a mofo here today.

Sorry to hear that.

Could you write the key points down? Pick one and then challenge it. You still have a good portion of today to make it into something memorable for a good reason.

Hugo Stiglitz

Tell me how wrote: »

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

Ruminating like a mofo here today.

Sorry to hear that.

Could you write the key points down? Pick one and then challenge it. You still have a good portion of today to make it into something memorable for a good reason.

Thanks for the reply.

I'm just gonna try escape it with some grub and tv shows/internet.